Revert Wanting To Get Married In Catholic Church

[benedictgal]

Here’s why I’m so concerned. You referred to the wedding within the Sunday Parish Mass as the “ideal” and the “standard.” When you use those words, they convey the idea to people that this is what is supposed to happen; That’s what the words “ideal” and especially “standard” mean. To put it another way, it would be quite natural for a couple preparing for marriage to read your post and come away having the idea that the proper place for their own upcoming wedding would be at the Sunday parish Mass, and could quite possibly get the impression that when their own pastor tells them that the proper time for their own wedding would be a Saturday morning or early afternoon, they might feel slighted or question why their pastor won’t schedule their own wedding at the “ideal” or "standard’ time.

There is also the purely objective reason that the statement claiming that the Sunday parish Mass is the ideal/standard time for a wedding is simply untrue. It is neither ideal, nor is it standard practice.

The ideal is that the wedding be celebrated as a parish celebration, yes indeed. But to do so during the Sunday parish Mass is not at all the ideal because (in most instances but not all) it is in fact a distraction from the parish’s celebration of the Sunday Mass–ie the Pascal Mystery.

And as someone who has experienced this first-hand on many occasions, I can certainly agree with your observations, Fr. David, for the variety of reasons that I listed in a previous post.

Yes, some of these weddings can be genuinely joyful occasions; however, when the bridal party tends to overtake and overwhelm the parish’s normal Anticipated Sunday Mass, then problems arise. Even from a musical standpoint since the guest musicians are not familiar with the repertoire of the Church (and here, I mean the Universal Church) and do not know that the parts of the Mass should be sung. The pastor needs to exercise a strong reign on these particular weddings and remind the couple that this is the parish’s Mass; they just happen to have their wedding there.

 

[agapewolf]

And as someone who has experienced this first-hand on many occasions, I can certainly agree with your observations, Fr. David, for the variety of reasons that I listed in a previous post.

Yes, some of these weddings can be genuinely joyful occasions; however, when the bridal party tends to overtake and overwhelm the parish’s normal Anticipated Sunday Mass, then problems arise. Even from a musical standpoint since the guest musicians are not familiar with the repertoire of the Church (and here, I mean the Universal Church) and do not know that the parts of the Mass should be sung. The pastor needs to exercise a strong reign on these particular weddings and remind the couple that this is the parish’s Mass; they just happen to have their wedding there.

This is exactly my point…

YES, if weddings are the way they are today, having one at a Sunday mass is a bad idea.

But having weddings the way they are today is NOT the ideal. It should not be circus show, it should not be all enormous candleabras, unity candles, etc etc. It is not the “bride’s day” as one would normally associate that term with.

This is my whole point.

 

[AmyMarie71]

Since I am the OP on this thread, I also have to add that the practice of non-practicing Catholics getting married outside the church due to lack of reconciling or due to impediments (sp), annulments not finallized, etc. is pretty common. I was very surprised that many of the current parishoners at my church have gone this route and had their marriage convalidated at a later time.

Just because it is common-place does not mean it is right. But the church also makes it somewhat easy and acceptable to convalidate the marriage if such circumstances arise.