Reverting to become a Sister

[littledorrit]

All my life I have felt a connection to God. I have expressed this in different ways throughout the years, but it has always been there. After three profound religious experiences, I have come to the conclusion that I must dedicate my life to God. The problem? I will have to revert to Catholicism before I can take part in the life that has been chosen for me.

Allow me to explain. I was baptized a Presbyterian, but I converted to Catholicism along with my mother when I was seven. After three devout years my best friend drew me into Wicca (please don’t ask), and my faith would not be the same for the rest of my adolescence. I became, in rapid succession, a Gnostic Christian, a Deist, a Buddhist, a Muslim, a Uniterian Universalist, and an Episcopalian. Please don’t call me a heathen; I was only using a more confused voice than most to tell God that I loved Him.

However, I am called to a life of love, service, and sacrifice, and the best way for me to live that life is to become a nun or sister.

Of course, I will have to (a) revert to Catholicism, and (b) get my bachelor’s degree before I answer the call. I will also have to find an order that fits my needs. What advice do you have for those things?

More information about me:

1. I currently attend an Episcopalian church in my town. It would be very hard for me to talk my dad into taking me to Sunday mass instead (he’s a Protestant and I don’t drive).
2. I will be starting at college next fall, and - uh oh! - I didn’t apply to any Catholic colleges. What advice does everyone have for a reverted Catholic student with a vocation at a non-Catholic college?
3. I identify as a lesbian, but my desire to become a nun or sister is not based on avoidance of that. In fact, I don’t believe that having a female partner would be sinful. My true aim is not to run from who I am, but to connect with something deeper.

More information about my vocation:

1. I have both a knack and a passion for helping special needs students at my high school. What orders do that kind of work?
2. I value learning, reading, and inquiry as a path to God.
3. Habit? No habit? No problem; it’s what’s inside that makes the pious.
4. Being able to escape the distractions of modern life would mean a lot to me.
5. Political stuff tires me out quickly. I am not called to go around protesting classism or abortion or war (see #4).

 

[Cristiano]

I think that you are really confused about the Catholic Church and what a religious vocation is. I would start by trying to understand what the Catholic Church is about.

 

[littledorrit]

What?

 

[Cristiano]

… I identify as a lesbian, but my desire to become a nun or sister is not based on avoidance of that. In fact, I don’t believe that having a female partner would be sinful.…
5. Political stuff tires me out quickly. I am not called to go around protesting classism or abortion or war (see #4)…

I think that you are really confused about the Catholic Church and what a religious vocation is. I would start by trying to understand what the Catholic Church is about.

What?

Your first quote is an example of what I am talking about. First you have to become comfortable with the Church doctrines and disciplines. I would encourage you to read and reflect on the Catechism of the Catholic Church. Having an homosexual partner is a mortal sin. Protesting abortion is not politics, it is a moral obligation of every Christian because it is intrinsically evil.

 

[Spiritu]

Hi Littledorrit,

The easiest question on your list is #2, so I’ll start there. Many universities, even secular ones, will have a chaplaincy attached - there may be a priest and/or religious brother or sister there whom you could get to know. Someone who knows you will be able to direct you in matters of vocation and sexual identification better than us anonymous people on an internet forum.

If there’s no chaplaincy, I’d suggest an internet search to find any Catholic parishes close to the college/s at the top of your list, so that you could receive the sacraments there: regular Confession is an important part of discerning a vocation, as is the Eucharist.

Did you know that going to Mass on Saturday evening fulfils your Sunday obligation? If you can’t get out on a Sunday, there may be some way to get there on Saturday instead. They may also have an RCIA (Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults) program that you could enter to refresh your knowledge of Catholic beliefs, teachings and sacraments.

 

[iBenedicta]

You have gone through a difficult journey, no doubt. But let me tell you, it will not be any easier. The religious life will require chastity regardless of your sexual orientation. Don’t let this turn you away from trying, though!

It isn’t a requirement to earn a bachelor’s degree from a Catholic university, however in your case… it might make things easier, especially if your parents won’t agree or support your conversion. See if you can wiggle your way into a Catholic university; or if you are accepted to a few universities, attend a university with a strong Catholic presence.

But, what concerns me the most…

1. Being able to escape the distractions of modern life would mean a lot to me.

Don’t look at the religious life as the glorious alternative to the modern world. You’ll be rudely awakened, as the religious life is not an escape (no escape exists).

I suggest taking up some reading. Find an order you think you can identify with, and read some works by their well-known nuns and monks. If you need any suggestions, feel free to PM me.

Good luck, we love you (even if some of us have a weird way of showing it!)

 

[raaucoin]

My dear sister in Christ,

Except for the fact that I was born into a family of Catholics and Baptized as such, your story is VERY familiar to me.And I am amazed by the parallels.

When I was in my very early 20’s having walked a very similar path as you describe, I too began inquiring about religious life. I was ready, willing, and eager. Much to eager. Thankfully the leadership of the community I was looking into also saw that.

My going off full throttle didn’t allow me to fully understand or appreciate the true conversion the Lord was calling me to. I was so eager I wanted to do everything at once and that resulted in great frustration and my frustration led me back away from the Church and the life God has called me to.–You ask for suggestions or advice Here’s mine:
Be still and know that He is God.

The journey you have been on can be either blessing or hindrance. To let it be blessing,pray that the Holy Spirit will show you how each step you’ve taken to this point has been a call to receive the light of Christ.

Unfortunately, one thing that happens to us with “lesbian” identification is we somehow often define ourselves by this. And we lose sight of the fact that we are first and foremost children of a Loving Father. Perhaps you might spend some time in prayer before the Blessed Sacrament and reflection on this.

As other posts have cautioned, religious life should not be about running from anything, but running towards something. As I discern my vocation-AGAIN at 41yrs. I first discern who God is to me and who I am to God. And whether I continue life as a CHASTE single person, or as a Religious sister, I know that I must pray that HIS will not mine- will be done.
Please pray for me as I am praying for you.

 

[anode]

Concerning attending a Catholic college , this would be useful only if you don’t incur a large debt in doing so. Otherwise, if you have to borrow to attend a Catholic college, you will be saddled with this debt before you can even consider religious life. Debts have to be paid off before you are seriously considered for entry into religious life. This forum and phatmass are full of stories of this–young people who can’t enter because they are saddled with college debt. Better to attend a local state college or university, maybe even live at home, and avoid the debt if you want to consider religious life.

 

[Monica4316]

Littledorrit,

I think before anything it would help you to focus on reverting to the Catholic Church. Make sure you study the teachings and doctrines and become a strong Catholic first, before looking into religious life… I’m a convert to Catholicism myself (having been through many different spiritual paths, as you have ) and this process has been quite a journey for me, but God has really helped and blessed it, and though I started out not belieiving anything the Church teaches, He changed my mind on so many things! I suggest really praying about all this… maybe you could visit an Adoration chapel at a Catholic Church and pray deeply and tell God everything that’s on your mind. If you feel called to this life, it might be a genuine calling, but I think in ANY case, - God is calling you first and foremost into a deeper relationship with Him and the Church. (which is beautiful and very special )

It’s true what others have said that religious life is not so much running away from the world, as it is running towards something else… it’s hard to explain, but a person just feels this desire to be closer to God and knows that THIS is how it would be found in the fullest way. Often people get a spiritual director to help them understand their vocation better.

About your sexual orientation, - there are Catholics who are homosexual, - and this is not a problem at all… the Church teaches that it’s not a sin to be gay or lesbian. (And you can certainly become a nun, regardless of what orientation you are.) However, - and this is the difficult part - the Church teaches that it is a sin to act on that. This means that homosexuals are called to single or religious life, but not to relationships or marriage. I know that can be a difficult teaching… I think it’s a cross to bear for many people, but I also believe God rewards those who carry their crosses for His sake. Single people - of whatever orientation - are also called to celibacy, and all people are called to purity and chastity… we must seek to be pure not only in terms of our actions (abstaining from sex if w’ere not married) - but also in our thoughts, desires, etc… it can be hard but God really gives the grace to live this life if we want to follow Him.

God bless you

 

[Cristiano]

About your sexual orientation, - there are Catholics who are homosexual, - and this is not a problem at all… the Church teaches that it’s not a sin to be gay or lesbian. (And you can certainly become a nun, regardless of what orientation you are.) However, - and this is the difficult part - the Church teaches that it is a sin to act on that…

Just for your reference The Church uses the term SSA (Same Sex Attraction) for the desire toward a person of the same sex. Homosexuality and especially being gay is used to refer to someone that acts on his/her SSA. SSA is not a sin.

 

[Sparki777]

Well, try to take things one step at a time.

First, you DO need to revert. But you don’t have get your bachelor’s degree first. There are various religious orders that would take you without a college degree, and even some teaching orders that can pay for you to get a degree once you are a professed sister. Certainly, you can’t become a sister with student loan debt (or any other kind of debt), so keep that in mind.

What I think you need most, however, is more spiritual formation. You’ve been a sheep without a shepherd for a long time. Get yourself to a priest and see about reverting first and foremost. Then ask the priest to connect you with a competent spiritual director and start the discernment process about your calling.

BTW, we have an excellent order of sisters where I live that run a boarding school for special needs students. That is just one of many different orders that there are in the U.S.