Revisiting My Faith

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Hi, my name is Dave and I feel like something is missing from my life. I was Baptized and Confirmed Catholic, but have never really taken my faith seriously. Quite the contrary, actually; I was a fervent atheist for a few years.

To make a long, painful story short, I’m a recovering drug addict (specifically, heroin). I come from a loving family and have a good job. After graduating college, I began using drugs heavily. Eight years later, after suffering as much misery as I thought one could take, I’ve finally achieved a significant period of sobriety (about two and a half years). Everyday, I’m grateful to live a life free of drugs. I don’t say that lightly, either: I am truly glad to be able to live a “normal” life, and do normal things (like owning my own house, having friends, being able to be trusted, paying my bills on time, etc.).

As I said in my opening sentence, though, I feel like something is missing. I can’t really describe what’s missing, but I’m drawn back to the feelings of love and wholesomeness I briefly experienced during periods in my recovery when I desperately turned to religion to try to cure me from my addiction. Religion did not ultimately help me achieve sobriety, but now that my life isn’t entirely consumed by addiction, I think it’s now the right time to begin/resume my relationship with God.

My purpose here is to introduce myself, tell my story, and hopefully get some insight. Does anybody have any suggestions for someone in my situation, someone who’s “officially” Catholic, but who hasn’t really ever taken his faith seriously, even experienced extended periods of extreme doubt?

Currently, I’m reading “Mere Christianity” by C.S. Lewis, a book I’m sure many of you have read. I’m going to attend my first Catholic mass since becoming sober this Sunday, at my local Catholic church.

Thank you for taking the time to read this post, and I hope to open a dialogue with many of the people here responsible for the insightful posts I’ve already had the chance to read.
 
First of all - Welcome to the boards and also - Welcome Home.

I was away from the Church for 35 years before returning…Many sins - 😊

My advice is to keep doing what you are doing.
Since you are a baptized and confirmed Catholic - all you need to do in order to receive communion is to make a good confession to a priest.

I know - that’s a daunting prospect. But in truth - If you tell the priest what you’ve told us and sort of “hit the highlights” so to speak of your sinful past you will receive absolution and a great weight lifted from your shoulders. I don’t mean to make this sound flippant…you do want to make a sincere confession but I know that, for myself, with so many years and so many sins…It was just too much and that is the approach I took with father. He was most understanding.

Then - that first time going to communion - I can’t tell you how great that was for me. I almost cried.

Build your faith on Agape - brotherly, self sacrificing love. Try to keep your faith simple and keep Jesus as the focus.

Just some thoughts

Peace
James
 
Take heart when you go to mass. Much of it will be familiar but some it may seem strange because of memory fade. I know how hard it can be coming Home on your own and suggest that you try to touch base with the Priest after mass (or get his contact details from the bulletin) and ask for a private chat. This will enable you to explain your needs, possible issues or stumbling blocks and for the Priest to explain what support he and the church can offer you.

He may suggest RCIA which is a weekly chat with people converting to Catholicism and those coming home after an absence. RCIA varies from parish to parish but I think each course does have Scripture reading (usually the next Sunday’s Gospel), a discussion of what is in the Church and why and plenty of opportunity to ask questions.

May God bless and guide you on your journey home.
 
JRKH said:
First of all - Welcome to the boards and also - Welcome Home.

I was away from the Church for 35 years before returning…Many sins - 😊

My advice is to keep doing what you are doing.
Since you are a baptized and confirmed Catholic - all you need to do in order to receive communion is to make a good confession to a priest.

I know - that’s a daunting prospect. But in truth - If you tell the priest what you’ve told us and sort of “hit the highlights” so to speak of your sinful past you will receive absolution and a great weight lifted from your shoulders. I don’t mean to make this sound flippant…you do want to make a sincere confession but I know that, for myself, with so many years and so many sins…It was just too much and that is the approach I took with father. He was most understanding.

Then - that first time going to communion - I can’t tell you how great that was for me. I almost cried.

Build your faith on Agape - brotherly, self sacrificing love. Try to keep your faith simple and keep Jesus as the focus.

Just some thoughts

Peace
James
Click to expand...
hello dave and welcome

i think we have all been in some faith crisis or other at some point in our lives. maybe not the same way as you but you are definitely not alone. like the poster above, i agree, go to confession, it will really help. and yes, go to mass as well, maybe try and get involved in some of your parish ministry and make some good catohlic friends who can help you in your faith. there are also books about the saints and their lives which might inspire you. christ is the center of it all though; if you keep that in perspective, you will be ok. i will say a prayer for you. god bless.
 
Hi Dave,

Welcome to the forums and I just wanted to let you know that I am praying for you!
 
angell1 said:
hello dave and welcome

i think we have all been in some faith crisis or other at some point in our lives. maybe not the same way as you but you are definitely not alone. like the poster above, i agree, go to confession, it will really help. and yes, go to mass as well, maybe try and get involved in some of your parish ministry and make some good catohlic friends who can help you in your faith. there are also books about the saints and their lives which might inspire you. christ is the center of it all though; if you keep that in perspective, you will be ok. i will say a prayer for you. god bless.
Click to expand...
Thank you for the information. I love reading, and I believe that I learn best through written word, so do you have any particular suggestions for the books you mentioned above, about saints and their lives?

Thank you again for the warm welcome.
 
Hi Dave welcome home, we’ve traveled similar paths, when things grow dark I pray harder and try to remember the things most real are the things unseen, I rely heavily on my guardian angel and the companionship of many saints.
May God bless you with a loving heart and a peaceful spirit.
 
This is so… coincidential! I’m a former atheist myself, and I’ve been praying the Rosary for the conversion of atribulated hearts recently (several times, last time being about 3 hours before you posted here), in order to have them find the right path again. I think God just proved His awesomeness to me, once again! 😃

Welcome back, Dave! It’s always awesome to have you back after a stormy past like yours. Believe it or not, your testimony can really be inspiring for the right group of people, and that’s exactly what you will want to do for your life. 👍

While I did try to take my faith seriously, I felt that I didn’t have any good information about it, and just concluded it wasn’t all that real. The first thing I addressed when I reverted - and what I believe it could be a good for you too - is to start to know God in order to have a strong relationship with Him. He already knows everything about you, so for a head start you might want to know the main source of information you have about Him, which was inspired by Himself - the Bible. Grab that thick book and start reading it slowly. I began with the Gospel of Luke, you would probably like to do the same. These Gospels have, in the middle of their passages and allegories and metaphors and whatever you might see, both the emotional and rational sides of human experience. The slower you read it, the better you realize it. 😉

Meditate and pray on what you read, one bit at a time, and try to see if you can see any events of your life linked to that passage. Take the Gospel and the entire Bible as a tool of God to tell you what He wants you to know at that present time - all possible messages compacted in this thick book. When you try to get an insight of the passage, search it up, look what Catholics or the Church teaches about it. Listen attentively to what the priest preaches when you’ll go to Mass this Sunday. And, like the others said, try to go to Confession earlier to have the whole experience again. God is waiting to see you in the distance, just like in the parable of the Prodigal Son (search it up if you don’t know it, or want to re-visit it). Don’t keep him waiting for too long! 👍

Stay home, my friend. The look outside may look pretty tempting, but it’s fricking chilling out there, and it’s likely you’ll get sick! 🙂

I’ll pray for you. God bless! :signofcross:
 
As for book by saints - I loved “The Story of a Soul” by St Therese of Lisieux

Also I always recommend the book in my signature - a great book on spirituality that can also spark your interest in the several saints that it quotes.

Peace
James
 
JRKH said:
First of all - Welcome to the boards and also - Welcome Home.

I was away from the Church for 35 years before returning…Many sins - 😊

My advice is to keep doing what you are doing.
Since you are a baptized and confirmed Catholic - all you need to do in order to receive communion is to make a good confession to a priest.

I know - that’s a daunting prospect. But in truth - If you tell the priest what you’ve told us and sort of “hit the highlights” so to speak of your sinful past you will receive absolution and a great weight lifted from your shoulders. I don’t mean to make this sound flippant…you do want to make a sincere confession but I know that, for myself, with so many years and so many sins…It was just too much and that is the approach I took with father. He was most understanding.

Then - that first time going to communion - I can’t tell you how great that was for me. I almost cried.

Build your faith on Agape - brotherly, self sacrificing love. Try to keep your faith simple and keep Jesus as the focus.

Just some thoughts

Peace
James
Click to expand...
James,

Thank you dearly for your warm welcome. Responses like these, helpful and kind, make my return home to my faith easier.

Regarding confession, I know in my heart it’s the right thing to do, both for myself, and according to the Sacrament itself. Frankly, though, I’m afraid to confess my many sins to anyone, even a priest. I highly doubt I’ll be able to get through it without crying. Addiction leads one to do things one would never imagine oneself doing. These things are surely a burden on my heart, and placing them before God is probably among the most beneficial things I can do.

Again, thank you for your insight and kind words. I am unsure when Confession is held at my local church, but I am attending Mass on Sunday, so if I can’t find out before then, I’ll surely be able to ask someone.
 
georget said:
Hi Dave welcome home, we’ve traveled similar paths, when things grow dark I pray harder and try to remember the things most real are the things unseen, I rely heavily on my guardian angel and the companionship of many saints.
May God bless you with a loving heart and a peaceful spirit.
Click to expand...
Thank you for your kind words of welcome. I appreciate your insight and wish I was “armed” with the power of prayer when going through the many dark days in my past. One of the many aspects of faith is believing in that which cannot be seen.

Hopefully, through my local parish, prayer, this and other online communities, my faith will be adequately nourished so as to be able to seek refuge in the Holy Spirit during hard times, rather than turning to other, false, and ultimately evil, sources of comfort.
 
dwindsor said:
James,

Thank you dearly for your warm welcome. Responses like these, helpful and kind, make my return home to my faith easier.

Regarding confession, I know in my heart it’s the right thing to do, both for myself, and according to the Sacrament itself. Frankly, though, I’m afraid to confess my many sins to anyone, even a priest. I highly doubt I’ll be able to get through it without crying. Addiction leads one to do things one would never imagine oneself doing. These things are surely a burden on my heart, and placing them before God is probably among the most beneficial things I can do.

Again, thank you for your insight and kind words. I am unsure when Confession is held at my local church, but I am attending Mass on Sunday, so if I can’t find out before then, I’ll surely be able to ask someone.
Click to expand...
Regarding confession…Four words - - Been there. Done that!!!

One thing that many many people have said - and I believe - is that there is little that we could tell a priest that they have not heard before.
As far as breaking down and crying…maybe it would help if you wrote your confession out before hand and then read it to the priest.

In any event- the relief is huge once it’s done…but I can totally understand if it takes a little time for you to work up to doing this.

Peace
James
 
ServantPD said:
This is so… coincidential! I’m a former atheist myself, and I’ve been praying the Rosary for the conversion of atribulated hearts recently (several times, last time being about 3 hours before you posted here), in order to have them find the right path again. I think God just proved His awesomeness to me, once again! 😃

Welcome back, Dave! It’s always awesome to have you back after a stormy past like yours. Believe it or not, your testimony can really be inspiring for the right group of people, and that’s exactly what you will want to do for your life. 👍

While I did try to take my faith seriously, I felt that I didn’t have any good information about it, and just concluded it wasn’t all that real. The first thing I addressed when I reverted - and what I believe it could be a good for you too - is to start to know God in order to have a strong relationship with Him. He already knows everything about you, so for a head start you might want to know the main source of information you have about Him, which was inspired by Himself - the Bible. Grab that thick book and start reading it slowly. I began with the Gospel of Luke, you would probably like to do the same. These Gospels have, in the middle of their passages and allegories and metaphors and whatever you might see, both the emotional and rational sides of human experience. The slower you read it, the better you realize it. 😉

Meditate and pray on what you read, one bit at a time, and try to see if you can see any events of your life linked to that passage. Take the Gospel and the entire Bible as a tool of God to tell you what He wants you to know at that present time - all possible messages compacted in this thick book. When you try to get an insight of the passage, search it up, look what Catholics or the Church teaches about it. Listen attentively to what the priest preaches when you’ll go to Mass this Sunday. And, like the others said, try to go to Confession earlier to have the whole experience again. God is waiting to see you in the distance, just like in the parable of the Prodigal Son (search it up if you don’t know it, or want to re-visit it). Don’t keep him waiting for too long! 👍

Stay home, my friend. The look outside may look pretty tempting, but it’s fricking chilling out there, and it’s likely you’ll get sick! 🙂

I’ll pray for you. God bless! :signofcross:
Click to expand...
ServantPD,

Firstly, I would like to thank you from the bottom of my heart for your kind words. Your welcoming spirit means the world to me at this time in my journey back to God.

Secondly, I’m not a strong believer in meaningless coincidences, even when I was an atheist. God is actively answering your prayers for those having agitated hearts to return home to Him! Who knows, maybe some others who’ve known me as a staunch atheist in the past may notice a change in my personality, ask me why I seem more peaceful, and (re)discover Christ for herself, resulting in yet more troubled hearts being lead back home.

Also, what an intelligent suggestion to learn about God Himself, in the respect that He is a being with distinct qualities, desires, values, etc. You’re right, he certainly knows all there is to know about me, yet I know so little about Him. My fondest memories of my relationship with Christ was when I prayed to Him as if he was a dear friend, telling him my fears, hopes and most personal thoughts (even though He already knew them!); I had a real relationship with him. Unfortunately, addiction robbed me of that relationship (as well as everything that was good in my life).

With respect to the Bible, I appreciate your concrete suggestion of what I should read first. This is exactly what I was (and still am) looking for when joining this forum: suggestions for exactly what I should do, until my faith heals enough to guide me in the right direction. I will indeed start reading the Gospel of Luke tonight, and I will pray for you, as you’ve helped someone in definite need of guidance.

I hope we can continue a dialogue on here. I will keep you and everyone else on this thread posted as to my progress.

Thank you again, and God bless!
 
JRKH said:
As for book by saints - I loved “The Story of a Soul” by St Therese of Lisieux

Also I always recommend the book in my signature - a great book on spirituality that can also spark your interest in the several saints that it quotes.

Peace
James
Click to expand...
Thank you for the suggestions. At this point in my journey back to God, I’m trying to amass as large a collection of suggested readings as possible. These books obviously are meaningful to you, and I thank you once again for making me aware of them.

God bless you!
 
Welcome home!

I too fell away from the Church and had 22 years of sins to confess. I was never someone who liked or believed in confession (esp in the rooms). I went on the web and found a site which helped me plan for my confession.

Finally, I went… I had a hard time getting some of my sins to come out of my mouth and started tearing up as I said some of them.

The priest was very understanding, almost like a wise grandfather. For penance, we said the “Our Father” together. In that confession, he welcomed me home.

I’m actually getting very choked up typing this.

Now I go to confession at least twice a month. I now find confession to be a glorious Sacurment. I’m even no longer “afraid” of the rooms (though I still personally prefer the confessionals).

I also recommend making an appointment with a priest. After my confession, I made an appoinment and spoke to him one on one. We spoke for alittle over an hour. He was wise and then blessed me afterwards.

I truly felt a home coming and I welcome you home too!

God Bless You and God Bless Catholic Answers
 
JRKH said:
Regarding confession…Four words - - Been there. Done that!!!

One thing that many many people have said - and I believe - is that there is little that we could tell a priest that they have not heard before.
As far as breaking down and crying…maybe it would help if you wrote your confession out before hand and then read it to the priest.

In any event- the relief is huge once it’s done…but I can totally understand if it takes a little time for you to work up to doing this.

Peace
James
Click to expand...
James,

Once again, a great idea: writing down my confession (then, burning it after I’m done!). In terms of working myself up to it, I’m plenty ready to get it done. I know it’s a huge part of the beginning of my journey back to Christ, and I’m as eager as ever to get started. More importantly, I feel that I WON’T be able to truly embrace my relationship with Christ until I confess my sins, no matter how much I want to, and regardless of anything else. I just feel like I need to get these sins out of the darkness and into the light.

The 12-Step fellowships (Narcotics Anonymous, Alcoholics Anonymous, etc.) all have a saying regarding sins and character defects: “These defects grow in the darkness and die in the light.”

That’s exactly how I feel about my sins and the Sacrament of Confession.
 
phil19034 said:
Welcome home!

I too fell away from the Church and had 22 years of sins to confess. I was never someone who liked or believed in confession (esp in the rooms). I went on the web and found a site which helped me plan for my confession.

Finally, I went… I had a hard time getting some of my sins to come out of my mouth and started tearing up as I said some of them.

The priest was very understanding, almost like a wise grandfather. For penance, we said the “Our Father” together. In that confession, he welcomed me home.

I’m actually getting very choked up typing this.

Now I go to confession at least twice a month. I now find confession to be a glorious Sacurment. I’m even no longer “afraid” of the rooms (though I still personally prefer the confessionals).

I also recommend making an appointment with a priest. After my confession, I made an appoinment and spoke to him one on one. We spoke for alittle over an hour. He was wise and then blessed me afterwards.

I truly felt a home coming and I welcome you home too!

God Bless You and God Bless Catholic Answers
Click to expand...
Thank you phil19034 for your sharing your experience. It sounds like you and I have quite a bit in common in our journey to back to Christ.

It’s encouraging to hear that others experienced apprehension before going to confession after amassing a long list of sins in their time away from Christ and His Church. It’s also a relief to hear your description of the priest who took your confession as a “wise grandfather.” I’m getting a bit emotional as I type this, contemplating the very fact of being forgiven for the behavior I committed during my many years of Godlessness.

I truly value your words and insight. Truly. My friend, you have lightened the burden of fear and apprehension I’m feeling towards that confession. Please know that you’ve made someone’s day a bit easier. I look forward to letting you (and everyone else on this site) know how my confession goes.
 
Welcome! and of course, Welcome Back!

Make an appointment with a priest and be on your way raging ahead in strength.

The son has come home. It’s time to party! :extrahappy:
 
Hello - This is my 1st post. I am a Christian who happens to be Baptist and Protestant. I’m trying to learn more about the Catholic Christian faith. Im confused by so much I’ve been trying to study and learn about. Please pray for me as I try to figure out moving into the Catholic faith, I have so many questions about Mary, the saints, purgatory, the Pope – you name it. I put my faith in Jesus Christ and hope I’m led to the right decision/direction for me.
 
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