Rite of Acceptance - A Little Trepidation

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Hi folks. RCIA began officially yesterday. We’re on our way and I am very happy that we have an ongoing year-long program in our parish because who can tell precisely when someone will want to inquire after truth?

But, I do not begin without some trepidation.

Yesterday, the Rite of Acceptance was talked about briefly. I just looked that up on the internet and it looks like it may be a bigger thing than I thought. I’m shy. I am not comfortable in front of groups, particularly as large a gathering as we have at our parish. There’s going to be a lot of -possibly being noticed activities- in the coming year, including our dismissal after the Liturgy of the Word each week, etc. Makes me shudder. And that’s nothing compared to the nervousness I imagined for myself as I watched the Rites of Initiation at the Easter Vigil and thought of next year - -.

What do I do?

At least I can say that I won’t be alone. There was a good size group beginning RCIA with me. They seemed very friendly and I expect we’ll all become good friends in short time. Maybe that’ll make it easier for me and actually, for all of us. I thought maybe I’d also see where else I could get involved and acquainted with people.

Anyone else been in my shoes?

Hope
 
All you have to do is stand there and try not to cry (tears of joy of course!) If there are any responses, they will be brief and you will make them as a group. Part of the reason the Rite is held during Mass is to introduce you to the parish community. Getting involved in other activities in addition to RCIA is an excellent idea; this year will go by all too fast. Welcome Home!
 
I was right where you are. I didn’t (and still don’t) care for crowds, and I hate being in front of them.

In fact, when I started RCIA, I specifically asked if we had to get up in front of anyone for anything. I was told “Oh No!! We don’t do that”…yeah right.

Long story short. I am now the lay director for RCIA in our parish, and quite frequently have to get up in front of crowds.

You’ll do fine. The prayers of the Church, and the Holy Spirit will get you through this.
 
Don’t worry! It may seem overwhelming at first, but the joy of coming into the Church far outweighs any trepidation you may have. On that note, don’t forget that worry is from the Devil who wants to keep you away from all of the wonderful things that God has in store for you! Trust in God and He will relieve all of your anxieties! Welcome home, btw :extrahappy:
 
Congratulations on the start of your journey home to the Catholic Church T_Hope!

I’m also very shy so I understand your concerns. If they handed out a class schedule at RCIA you might see if it mentions anything about preparation for the different Rites. I know when I was in RCIA we always had a rehearsal before each one and it really helped to know ahead of time where to stand, what to say, and what was going to happen. If your RCIA program isn’t planning on having a rehearsal you might ask if someone could walk you through the Rite ahead of time. This way you will be able to focus on what is happening instead of having it all pass by in a blur because you are feeling self-conscious (or is that just me? :o) And if all else fails, when the day comes don’t look at individual faces just pick a spot on the back wall over the heads of the congregation. 🙂

But seriously, I think you are approaching this with the right attitude - you won’t be in it alone. You are exactly right, by the time you start participating in the different Rites you should know your fellow classmates and fellow parishoners much better, especially if you commit to your idea to try to find ways to get involved. When I was becoming Catholic I started going to daily Mass once or twice a week. The shortened format and smaller attendance made it a lot easier for me to focus and learn the Mass. The smaller attendance also made me more noticeable to my fellow parishoners - if the same 20 people always go to Mass together, a new face is going to stand out. So people got to know me by sight if not necessarily by name and I started getting some friendly smiles, which is exactly the encouragement my shy self needed. Then I started going to Friday Adoration and after my first visit several people (many of them from daily Mass) came up to introduce themselves and when they learned I was in RCIA they were so happy. Then I joined the Women’s Guild. And soon I realized that I was greeting more and more people I knew and who knew me by name after Mass. That’s when I realized I had a home and a family in my parish.

And that realization is what really helped me during the Rites. Yes, these are very public activities that will make you noticed, but many of the people you’ll be standing up in front of were once in your same shoes. It amazed me that many of the people I met who I thought were cradle Catholics turned out to be converts just like me. So when you’re standing up there, just know that the congregation is praying for you, some of them because they know exactly what you are going through, and all of them will be cheering you on because they know the joys that are ahead of you.
 
Here’s my suggestion: Approach the RCIA director and explain your feelings. Becoming Catholic shouldn’t be traumatizing. You don’t need to go through all the group processes in order to become Catholic. If it’s going to cause you a year of dread, then the RCIA director should know this. Ask for private tutoring and then make your profession of faith and be confirmed privately.

I would personally love to tutor an RCIA candidate (or catechuman, but I don’t feel truly qualified to answer all questions about Christianity in general.) I’m not a fan of group activities myself, and I never saw the need for a parade when all I wanted was the grace of Our Lord. You aren’t alone in your feelings. Speak up rather than suffer in silence.

I wasn’t the only candidate who didn’t do the group thing at East Vigil at our parish. We had two others, one woman who was painfully shy about her appearance and one fellow who was in the military and had a wacky schedule. Both are now very happy Catholics, as am I. Whereas I see only one of two folks from the RCIA groups in the past two years at my parish. Are they following some other “group” now? Who knows.
 
Speaking as a cradle Catholic, I cannot speak to your concerns about going through the various rites.

The only thing I’d like to share with you (and I suspect this is a pretty universal response from the Catholics in the pews, especially the cradle Caths) is that seeing people stand up and make this free choice, as adults, to join the Church, fills me with the deepest admiration and joy. It is a beautiful and inspiring thing for us to see that the Holy Spirit continues to work and draw many more people into the Body of Christ. Perhaps it’s partially due to pregnancy hormones, but it moved me to tears when I was present for one of the RCIA rites, and again at the Vigil, to see so many people becoming Catholic.

Perhaps you could consider offering up your discomfort and ask Our Lord to use those graces to move those of us in the pews to greater fervor in our own faith and to a deeper, richer evangelical outreach?

Best,

Margaret
 
Thank you all for your comments. There are many good suggestions here which I will try to follow. I appreciate the perspective of those who offer support and of those who have been in my shoes! Most of all, I truly appreciate the warm welcome. Perhaps welcome is how all of us entering the RCIA will feel when that day comes so there will be no room for fear!

Happily,
Hope
 
Red_Meg said:
Perhaps you could consider offering up your discomfort and ask Our Lord to use those graces to move those of us in the pews to greater fervor in our own faith and to a deeper, richer evangelical outreach?
Click to expand...
Ok, now it’s time for a question. Please forgive me if this seems obvious to most other people, but what do you mean by “offering up” something to the Lord?

I’ve heard that phrase before and understand that it refers to prayer, but “offering up” is a new concept to me which I don’t understand.

I do understand giving a burden over to the Lord and asking for help to carry it - I learned that when I was introduced to the rosary. Is it the same thing?

Many thanks,
Hope
 
T_Hope said:
Ok, now it’s time for a question. Please forgive me if this seems obvious to most other people, but what do you mean by “offering up” something to the Lord?

I’ve heard that phrase before and understand that it refers to prayer, but “offering up” is a new concept to me which I don’t understand.

I do understand giving a burden over to the Lord and asking for help to carry it - I learned that when I was introduced to the rosary. Is it the same thing?

Many thanks,
Hope
Click to expand...
I had wondered the exact same thing and found this thread very helpful.

forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=444988
 
I understand your discomfort at having to stand up at the rites or walk out during the dismissals. But I hope you will consider the other side. Your witness in taking part in the rites is important to those who have been Catholic all their lives. You inspire the people in the pews! You remind them of what it means to be baptized. When they see the process you’re going through it reminds them not to take it for granted.
 
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