Road Trip, Anime Convention....GF's Parents, oh my!

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Hey’all, looking for a lil’ bit of .02 cents on this:

So my GF likes anime, so much so she annually goes to an anime convention out of state. This year, she wants to go to en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Colossalcon. Now, she doesn’t go alone, but with her friends, of which two are…forgive me…complete bozos whom I can barely stand to converse with.

It just so happened that this year the group of friends was comprised of the two bozos (two guys) and a female friend of hers. Her female friend, however, has had to back out of the trip now that she must take a summer course for college to graduate on time.

Now, I wasn’t that happy to begin with, knowing she’d be gone with the two guy-friends, but once her parents learned that she’d be traveling with all guys…well they forbade her to go…blackmailing her really, but that’s a different topic altogether.

Now my GF is distraught that she can’t go. I’m sorta on the side of her parents on this one, but she, in my own humble estimation, doesn’t seem to get why her parents and I would have a problem with her being alone with the bozo-friends and one not-bozo guy friend over the weekend, on a road trip, during an anime convention, knowing that, at some point, alcohol will enter the equation (she doesn’t really drink, though).

Are we, her parents and I, just nuts? If not, I’ve tried to explain my postion, but, to no avail…any suggestions please?
 
Oh hey! I have friends that live out there! Don’t know if they go to ColossalCon though. I always see them at Otakon.

Back on topic…No more nuts than my mom…and probably no more nuts than I would be with my own kid.

For the longest time, the only way I could go to any anime cons was if my boyfriend’s family was going…not my boyfriend…my boyfriend’s family. Girls in one room, guys in another, and we were all driven down by a responsible adult.

When I was 24, I was able to go with friends. Mom trusted us to behave responsibly…and we did.

Now we’re married so who cares if we go just the two of us. 😛

To be honest, back then I didn’t understand why either. The only reason that sprang to mind was that my parents were not sure if they could trust me enough to let me do it so they were erring on the side of caution. My husband was never a drinker and I have no desire to get drunk. We didn’t like to hang out with people who drink all the time. I knew in my heart that I would not behave in a way that would upset my mom so it would irritate me when they seemed to not trust me (from my POV anyway).

But in your friend’s case, those fears are NOT unfounded as you yourself said that the boys in question are bozos who drink. I once spent a week counciling at a camp with bozo boys who drank their brains out each night. No one touched me or anything…but it was NOT fun watching everyone behave as they did. I never helped with camp again and I would never EVER go to a con with them.
 
If your girlfriend is such a poor judge of character to want to spend a weekend with two bozos, then maybe you need to rethink your relationship. Is that really the kind of person you want to be married to for the rest of your life? It is quite likely that she’ll make more bozo-type friends throughout her life. 🤷 To be honest, I wouldn’t have time for someone like that. Who someone chooses as friends is a HUGE indicator of who they are inside.
 
Dude, as anime nut myself. I can’t exactly understand why your girlfriend doesn’t seem to be getting the gist here. Could you tell me what kind of anime she watches? It might explain to me how she thinks a bit. I actually sympathize with you and the parents too actually and my reason is actually from my experience with the hobby. (I mean come on. One girl, surrounded by many guys? How many times has this scenario been used?)

I just hope your girlfriend would assess this more calmly though when you try to bring this perspective up.
 
Probably your GF thinks of her male friends as sort of like brothers. I’ve had a good many fan friends who were pretty much my brothers and sisters, and I’ve stayed in hotel rooms with them. Your GF is probably very idealistic about this, and probably very protective of her friends. She may know stuff about them that makes her feel that she needs to defend them from the world, as many fans have had tough lives. Also, she probably doesn’t want to back out, ruin the fun, and possibly make it financially impossible for her friends to go at all.

But it’s absolutely true that it’s not a good idea to be the only girl in a bunch of guys. (Even if they are all SSA guys. I mean, sheesh, they might suddenly decide they’re bisexual.) And it’s definitely not safe to be the only girl around a bunch of heavily drinking guys. Even if it is safe, it’s likely to bring on some pretty embarrassing and uncomfortable situations.

In my entire life in fandom, I never once stayed alone in a hotel with any guy or guys except my brother, no matter how much I trusted them. You can quote me to your GF on that. It’s not old-fashioned; it’s not paranoid; it’s not stupid. It’s prudent, and protects both them and you. (Hey, women can be creepy, scheming liars too! And although I’m sure your GF isn’t one, her friends might meet one like that…)

So. The obvious thing now is either to get your GF to accept backing out (which she might secretly be glad to do), or to help your GF find a female friend or relative whom everyone can trust, and who will go along. In extreme cases, this can even be somebody who isn’t a fan. (Poor confused souls… but hey, three days vacation in a hotel with a pool ain’t bad.)

I have known plenty of people to pay part or all of a friend’s way to a convention and/or their share of the hotel, in order to have their company and thus make things comfortable. (Driving with a friend can be a lot safer. Staying in a hotel alone in a strange city can freak some people out.) And this can be a very nice thing, especially if someone doesn’t have the money to go, or has always wanted to go to a convention but was hesitant to go alone or without a friendly guide.

Good luck navigating the perils of fandom! Sometimes there’s plenty of drama. 🙂

Mintaka (who’s spent 23 years in fandom, including anime)
 
To above above (can’t quote things for the life of me):

Vic Magnoga anime…whom I’m told on good authority is actually a really big jerk IRL away from the convention scene.

She’s also currently swooning over the new FMA series, but nothing obsessive a la yaoi fangirldom or anything.

To the below above:

Yeah, she doesn’t see them as “guys.” I keep telling her that she doesn’t actually understand, despite being a psych major, no less, that guys do think about female friends in that way. Argh. Worse, I forgot to mention that two of them have been romantically involved with her, to a varying extent, while a 4th person, whom she herself doesn’t know first-hand (a friend of the 3rd guy, who is actually not so much a bozo like the first two) is now going along. Argh.

Thankfully I think the issue has resolved itself, thanks to parental blackmail, but I’m still concerned over the two guy friends, who incessently berate her with “the Catholic Church is dumb cuz [this and that] and priest who don’t have sex shouldn’t be telling people what to do, and you’re making things up *,” and that sort of thing…there’s a run-on sentence methinks:shrug:

Is there some ethical way for perhaps the both of us to go together to a con would you think? I’m not sure how we’d get around the scandal of it (BF and GF, a roadtrip, to a con, staying in a hotel, even in seperate rooms…yeah…no, not a good idea), but perhaps a substitute would help her out.*
 
Does she have any other female friends that could come along? I’m going to a con in May with only girls. Surely there’s another anime fangirl around.

[The new FMA remake is brilliant].

It might be scandal for you to go, but then again, you might be able to look after her. Separate hotel rooms- she’d have one to herself? Then I don’t see an issue, really.
 
Argh said:
Vic Magnoga anime…whom I’m told on good authority is actually a really big jerk IRL away from the convention scene.
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I met Vic Mignogna a few years ago and he was VERY friendly. 🙂
Argh said:
Thankfully I think the issue has resolved itself, thanks to parental blackmail, but I’m still concerned over the two guy friends, who incessently berate her with "the Catholic Church is dumb cuz [this and that] and priest who don’t have sex shouldn’t be telling people what to do, and you’re making things up ," and that sort of thing…there’s a run-on sentence methinks:shrug:

Personally, I wouldn’t waste my time with people that have no respect for my faith when it is something very important to me. Your girlfriend’s so-called friends should not be making insulting comments about her faith, especially if she is a practicing Catholic. Your girlfriend should ask them to respect her beliefs.
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Pro-Life_Teen said:
[The new FMA remake is brilliant].
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There’s a new FMA remake?!? :eek: Wow, I must be really busy with college! I had no idea that there was a new FMA remake (I used to watch FMA all the time back in high school).
Pro-Life_Teen said:
Separate hotel rooms- she’d have one to herself? Then I don’t see an issue, really.
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Ditto. And if the girlfriend can find another girl to come along, they can split the cost of the hotel room.
 
Argh said:
To above above (can’t quote things for the life of me):

Vic Magnoga anime…whom I’m told on good authority is actually a really big jerk IRL away from the convention scene.

She’s also currently swooning over the new FMA series, but nothing obsessive a la yaoi fangirldom or anything.

To the below above:

Yeah, she doesn’t see them as “guys.” I keep telling her that she doesn’t actually understand, despite being a psych major, no less, that guys do think about female friends in that way. Argh. Worse, I forgot to mention that two of them have been romantically involved with her, to a varying extent, while a 4th person, whom she herself doesn’t know first-hand (a friend of the 3rd guy, who is actually not so much a bozo like the first two) is now going along. Argh.

Thankfully I think the issue has resolved itself, thanks to parental blackmail, but I’m still concerned over the two guy friends, who incessently berate her with “the Catholic Church is dumb cuz [this and that] and priest who don’t have sex shouldn’t be telling people what to do, and you’re making things up *,” and that sort of thing…there’s a run-on sentence methinks:shrug:

Is there some ethical way for perhaps the both of us to go together to a con would you think? I’m not sure how we’d get around the scandal of it (BF and GF, a roadtrip, to a con, staying in a hotel, even in seperate rooms…yeah…no, not a good idea), but perhaps a substitute would help her out.*

Somehow I get the feeling that she needs to watch Fruits Basket or something cuz I’m not sure if your girlfriend sounds like the type to consider guys fighting over her or secretly harboring feelings for her.

I also don’t think she should let guys talk about her religion that way. (Unless of course she doesn’t really take it as seriously as you or me, which could be a problem .>.>;; ).

Finally, I agree with the other posters. You should try to ask some girls to tag along. Have you tried asking some of your Catholic friends Argh? I mean, they don’t have to be necessarily anime nuts. You can just ask them as a favor because it’s causing a problem for you and your girlfriend.

Personally, I’d love to hear that you guys went.You don’t get a lot of big conventions like that where I live (our local otaku community is still starting small and anime is still considered a “kid thing” by some of the parents here sadly, :mad:)
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Oh, I don’t think I phrased my OP that well - this whole conundrum is due to her girl-friend not being able to go to the con on account of having to take a summer course in order to graduate on time. My GF pretty much doesn’t have hardly any female friends.

Oh, and she owns all of Fruits Basket and cosplayed as Toru (/spelling) at the mini-anime con here at the university.

Last I’ve heard she’s now trying to find other girls to come along from the anime club at the university, so that’s a better option. So yeah, that would be better.
 
Words have meaning. Seems that gets more and more lost on those under 40.

You have twice accused the parents of your girlfriend of “blackmail”. These are people with whom you intend to become family, to accuse of something like blackmail is serious.

From Encarta, this is what blackmail means, if your friends parents are guilty of such, your friend has bigger problems than a comic convention!

Definition: 1. **use of secrets to compel: **the act of forcing somebody to pay money or do something by threatening to reveal shameful or incriminating facts about him or her.
  1. **coercion: **unfair threatening or incriminating of somebody, as a way of achieving a result
 
Getting back on topic: What is wrong with being a Bozo? I was very sad to hear that one of the original Bozo the Clown actors (Larry Harmon) died last year.
 
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