Roamin Catholics

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A little background. I converted to Catholicism 15 years ago. My cradle Catholic wife followed me back to the Church at that time. Just after I was confirmed I was asked if I would like to be an altar server. Although it is something I never imagined or desired for myself, I agreed.

As the years passed by, we both began to realize that we both prefer more traditional churches. For me in particular, the closer the GIRM was followed, the more I got out of mass, or at least I was less distracted. Still, I persisted at my parish. It’s not like the liturgies are that bad, and I felt that God had put me next to the altar for a reason: to increase my faith, and to bring more reverence to the mass.

Although I’m a very gregarious person and jumped in feet first into parish life, my wife informs me that she’s not a ‘parish person’. As a result, on days that I’m scheduled to serve my wife goes to mass at the church of her choice. Therefore, I never attend mass at my parish unless I’m on the schedule. Sort of like a rock star.

My parish priest is getting older and is not feeling well. We have a retired priest who fulfills most of our sacramental duties. I like him. He’s an activist and has a great social conscience, but his liturgies are a disaster. I’ve born with it for the last four years, but last year during Holy Week, I opted out of serving any of the three services.

Then, this year, a couple of church ladies were talking to me before mass (I know) about this and that, and I came to realization that I’m now just merely cooperating with liturgical abuse. So, I asked to be left off the current liturgical schedule. Ash Wednesday was the first time that I had been to my parish since very early in Advent and that’s only because I had been asked to help impose ashes and to be an EMHC. If left to my own devices I would have followed my cradle Catholic wife to where ever she went.

Since the liturgical new year, I’ve been having the time of my life. My wife and I have experience all sorts of masses and have met all sorts of Catholics. I’m really enjoying it. However, I feel cut off from my concrete faith community. They’re still there,we’re still registered and I know I can go back anytime but I feel like a man without a parish. A little bit cut adrift. A roamin’ Catholic.

So, I was wondering what anyone else thought. I know there’s priests and religious on these boards, I would like to hear their thought, but any of you good, faithful Catholic’s have something to say on the matter, I would like to hear them as well.

Thanks in advance.
 
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I’m just wondering at what point do we make the jump. There’s a fine parish close to ours. In fact, ours was first started as an educational annex to this parish.
 
Something I’ve noticed a lot of people on here doing is conflating legitimate “liturgical variation” with “liturgical abuse.”

For instance, I’ve seen people on here complain about “liturgical abuses” such as receiving Communion in the hand, female altar servers, and guitars at Mass - but the fact is these are all legitimate liturgical variations, not abuses.

What are some of the liturgical abuses you are witnessing?
 
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The largest and the tipper for me is consecrating the Precious Blood in a glass pitcher and then having a lay person (me) pour the Precious Blood into chalices.

I lost it when a church lady asked me before mass if I “poured the wine”. That’s when I figured it was time to get out.

(apologies in advance to all you Catholics. I really am sorry about this. It’s embarrassing)
 
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tad said:
largest and the tipper for me is consecrating the Precious Blood in a glass pitcher and then having a lay person (me) pour the Precious Blood into chalices.
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Sounds a little funky to me, this may be an actual liturgical abuse.

Did you find the relevant passages of the GIRM that deal with this and talk to the Pastor about it?
 
For my regular pastor, I never had any problems with him. I served hundreds of masses with him and he was my spiritual director. For what little indiscretions I thought were occurring during mass, I believed I was in the perfect place to push things to what I believed was right merely by being present, reverent and prayerful.

Since he’s been ill, a retired priest has come in to fulfill most of the sacramental duties. This is where I’ve gotten off the bus. Just after the Easter Vigil four yeas ago the pastor asked me, “What’s the difference between a liturgist and a terrorist.”

Answer: “You can negotiate with a terrorist.”

I don’t think it matters to him.
 
Thank you for your reply.

Like I said above, my pastor is ill and the retired priest who has taken over most of the sacramental duties, I would suspect would suggest that I would be much happier somewhere else. With the health of my priest and the nature of my parish (it’s a destination parish dependent on a charismatic priest and those outside parish boundaries for it’s support) I’m not sure if our new bishop will let it continue on this way.

In the meantime, we happily bounce around…
 
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Spyridon said:
Sounds a little funky to me, this may be an actual liturgical abuse.

Did you find the relevant passages of the GIRM that deal with this and talk to the Pastor about it?
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The Church actually does clearly define certain abuses.
106 However, the pouring of the Blood of Christ after the consecration from one vessel to another is completely to be avoided, lest anything should happen that would be to the detriment of so great a mystery. Never to be used for containing the Blood of the Lord are flagons, bowls, or other vessels that are not fully in accord with the established norms.
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And later:
Grave Matters
173 Although the gravity of a matter is to be judged in accordance with the common teaching of the Church and the norms established by her, objectively to be considered among grave matters is anything that puts at risk the validity and dignity of the Most Holy Eucharist: namely, anything that contravenes what is set out above in nn. …, 106.… Moreover, attention should be given to the other prescriptions of the Code of Canon Law, and especially what is laid down by canons …
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So, there’s no doubt that this is defined as “objectively grave matter.” That’s important: objectively grave, not merely subjectively grave matter.

Source http://www.vatican.va/roman_curia/c...doc_20040423_redemptionis-sacramentum_en.html
 
I think this is what a lot of Catholics today (myself included) are experiencing. It’s become the norm for many people to drive to a different church rather than their nearest parish due to the reasons you listed. But I think it is wonderful that you are trying to set an example of reverence within your parish. 🙂 My suggestion would be to pray for guidance, for your current parish, and your parish priests. Also, maybe try to find a different parish? I know it’s easier said than done but it is important to have a community of faithful Catholics supporting you, if that is possible. I will be praying for you during this difficult time. God bless.
 
Do these priests realize what they are doing?
We used to have a fairly conservative priest at our parish. Old-school. We would pray the St Michael prayer right after Mass, for instance. Conservative traditional music.
Then he was replaced by a priest in his mid-60s, and some groovy stuff. He replaced the very conservative religious books in the parish school with more watered-down stuff. He still talks about wanting to institute female altar servers, things like that. He tells us during his homilies that we don’t donate enough. All the people who had sought out our parish for its traditional leanings left. No one replaced them. Our school went from about 350 kids to about 150 kids. It has been a disaster, and I’m not sure that current priest really knows why.
 
The problem with my parish is that our pastor is very ill and a guest pastor says most of our masses. Back when my pastor was healthy, it seemed like I was where I was supposed to be. With the guest pastor I feel like I’ve reached the point of diminishing returns.

After reading this thread, I really don’t want to cooperate with liturgical abuse any longer.

I had a talk with my wife the other day. She absolutely does not want to get involved with any parish. Me? I feel weird not being involved with a faith community. I know I can go to my parish at anytime. Thing is, I still love everybody there. I have no problem with the people. I just got tired of sloppy liturgies and missing mass with my wife.

Thank you for your response and especially for you prayers. God bless you too.
 
tad said:
However, I feel cut off from my concrete faith community. They’re still there,we’re still registered and I know I can go back anytime but I feel like a man without a parish. A little bit cut adrift. A roamin’ Catholic.
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Great insight!

One of the problems we’re facing in the current day is precisely what you mention: we’re not establishing a relationship with our parish church. Historically, one’s parish was a matter of geography: your church was the church where you lived. And so, along with friends and neighbors, you worshiped, built community, and lived in your parish.

We’re seeing a sort of ‘consumer’ Catholicism these days. In a certain way – perhaps precisely because we were being told “go where you are being fed” – a parish isn’t a home, but just a local McDonald’s. Any one will do; none is ‘ours’. We’re being told that parish registrations and support for parishes is down – the youngest generation of adults and young adults no longer feel a connection to their parish.

Clearly, something is wrong. Jesus reminds us that our parishes are meant to be “houses of prayer”, but we’re turning them into convenient drive-thru pickup lanes… 😦
 
I know this thread has become about liturgical abuse, but that was just a tipping point and not the main issue. I try not to get into the practice of nit picking our ministers.

The main issue is that my wife doesn’t attend mass there any more because the church is too small and noisy. She gets claustrophobic and she goes to mass to get to work and pray. It’s hard to do that when people are talking or talking to you. So, on days that I served mass, I didn’t get to go to mass with my wife. Last October I was scheduled for three Sunday’s. I simply began to miss going to mass with my wife.

That’s the biggest issue.

When the church ladies asked me ‘if I poured the wine’ and told me that ‘altar servers shouldn’t be pouring wine’ (I’ll say), that was my Holy Spirit moment in that it was time to go.

I talked to my wife about it. She’s not a parish person and has no interest in getting involved in any parish. Me? It’s not like I have the time to be very involved in parish life right now, but it seems like I should be bumping elbows with my fellow Catholics in some milieu.
 
You could just stay and make yourself a pain in the butt to everyone there 😂
 
I don’t think most of us truly get the meaning of a parish. We live more transient lives and travel further afield. I don’t know how you change peoples thinking.
 
ConfusedLucy said:
I don’t think most of us truly get the meaning of a parish. We live more transient lives and travel further afield. I don’t know how you change peoples thinking.
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Even transients and travelers have a place they lay their heads down and call ‘home’ (if only for a while), don’t they?
 
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