Hi Norm,
I have recently been through some of the challenges you face.
I’m being careful in what I say here, as I don’t know the full extent of your problem.
My business recently collapsed, plunging me into debt with no job. It was at exactly this point that God came back into my life. As soon as I accepted that, even though I was suffering with constant nagging thoughts about job, money, etc; I turned from this, (to a sensible point) and came to God- received the sacraments, and immersed myself in Catholic discussion and media. While setting up a new business and selling things, I listed to Catholic radio- Catholic Answers live, etc, and occasionally you hear of someone in the same position, or worse.
I found I was able to ‘accept’ my situation. I have been always goal oriented- have to feel like I am working towards ‘something’ - a career. I haven’t felt that things have gone the way I expected at all! However I am blessed in other ways.
Do you have a family there to support you? Or friends you can call on? I had drifted away from family and as for friends- I moved away from them as I found them selfish. I am married but sometimes this can still make a person feel alone. Why? Because as a husband and a man, I have often tried to keep things ‘bottled up’ unfortunately. I am the one that has to have a plan!
In turning to God, he has blessed us through this time. I am confident that He does this for anyone who turns to him humbly and seeks His help. The problems I thought were absolutely massive are still huge to me- but to Him, they are small, and he shows me from this perspective.
Little by little things can be taken care of. I wrote letters to deal with my debts. It buys time, and it could be months before I need to act on certain things. Time for me to get things straight.
Can you negotiate in some of the issues causing you pressure? Tackle the highest pressure ones first?
If it’s money- write a budget and work out your shortfall. I know, I know…I didn’t feel like doing this either. I normally work off my head! But it really helps. I know now what I need to find each month. Then I create a plan to make ends meet. The remainder of the time I give to God. I come on here, I pray- most of all I listen to Catholic media while I work because you never know when you will find inspiration. Just find a playlist and hit play!
Have you considered an online business?
We are all called to know and love God. That is but one purpose. Just existing and knowing God meets this requirement. He loves you infinitely.
For discernment, please read this:
loyolapress.com/discernment-consolation-and-desolation.htm
…it helps. Regardless of OCD, you’re not alone. We all go through this from time to time- so don’t feel you are alone and stuck with the problem. The more a problem exists, often the more there is available to help you in terms of resources people have created, with God’s inspiration in many cases.
Girls…don’t ‘chase girls’ so to speak! I had a hard time growing up, doing this, and ‘asking out’ girls which looking back I think- why did I do that? So embarrassing!
It was when I resigned myself to stop actively looking and just take a step back and live my life that a girl came along. I think it was in my being passive, not looking for being desperate, that I came across as more accessible and I was able to discern where the friendship was going. You need to be able to have a friendship with your future spouse, which gives it rock solid foundations.
