Role of Godparents in modern world - long post

[wondertrek86]

I need advice from outside of my family regarding the role of Godparents in a child’s life. My husband is joining the Roman Catholic Church this year and I am a “Cradle Catholic”. He does not have Godparents so he is at a loss on this topic.

My Godparents are each of my parents’ younger siblings. My non-practicing Cradle Catholic Godmother is my father’s sister who cut ties with my immediate family for 14 years after my parents’ divorce, she did not attend my Confirmation, but she did attend my wedding which was 160 miles from her home.

My mom’s brother was raised Methodist but he never attends church to my knowledge. He was cut off from my family for sexually harassing and verbally abusing myself (age 15) and my brother (age 12). Btw my mother and him ‘patched’ things up after 5 years of silence at the begging of my grandmother. He has never apologized for his ‘jokes’.

When my husband learned we were expecting our son he immediately wanted his Methodist childhood friend to be our son’s Godfather. His friend lives 160 miles away and is becoming increasingly difficult to reach, but I agreed because he was very adamant.

As a reaction I chose a good friend at work who is a non-denominational Christian. She suddenly left our work for nursing school this past Fall, one month before my due date. She visited us when our son was born and I received one text to wish us Merry Christmas.

We spoke with our priest to prepare for our son’s Baptism and he reminded me that one Godparent must be a practicing Roman Catholic. So we chose to ask the only couple that we know, my brother and sister-in-law, to be a proxy. They turned us down and said it was against the ‘sanctity’ of the role in the Catholic Church. They even suggested we have our son baptized outside of the Catholic Church because of our chosen Godparents. We have no other Catholics to ask in our families and we have no Catholic friends.

What is the role of a Godparent in the modern world? Personally, my Godparents had no significant role or positive influence in my life and used the role to brag and tease others. I view the role as honorary, but my brother and sister-in-law disagree wholeheartedly. They are Godparents to two other children and take it very seriously.

Any advice is much appreciated.

 

[Katie777]

The role of Godparents is to assist the parents with raising the child Catholic. Ideally, they should have solid knowledge of the faith. As your priest has told you, only 1 Godparent needs to be Catholic, but it’s important that this Godparent knows and Iives thier faith well.

It is a beautiful and important role in the child’s life. It should not be an honorary title, nor something that is taken lightly.

I’m sorry that you do not have any postive experiences with this.

 

[pianistclare]

First of all, a proxy is someone (properly disposed) to stand in for the people who for whatever reason cannot be present.
My first daughter’s Godparents were to be my parents, and daddy was ill in the hospital and couldn’t travel, so Catholic neighbors in good standing in the parish were proxies.
The role is important. They should be there for the child to speak to when he or she feels like they can’t go to their parents, or for just good conversation about a holy life and its challenges.
This is why it is so crucial to be active in a parish so that one has options. Today, many families have few choices because so much of a family is non-practicing, and even non-believing . Selecting someone just because they are a relative is outdated. It’s not a social thing, it’s not familial thing. It’s a FAITH thing. Choose the people who will actually pray for this child and be there for future sacraments, Not someone who you feel obligated to choose. It’s your child’s Catholic life. It’s not an honorarium.
Best wishes, and God bless.

 

[1ke]

A godparent sponsors the child at their baptism. They are a witness to the baptism. They do promise to help the parents by supporting them in their role as educators of their child in the faith. However, their role in your child’s life is whatever you make of it.

You do need a Catholic sponsor, and then can have one non-Catholic witness. Find a Catholic woman who will be the sponsor-- someone at your church, have the pastor recommend someone. Your husband’s Methodist friend can still be a Christian Witness to the baptism.

As a convert, I did not know my sponsor all that well. She came to RCIA classes, she stood as my sponsor at my reception into the church and confirmation, and I basically never saw her again much after that. Sometimes that happens.