Role of parents in the upbringing of a catholic

[Tacceus]

Hi Everyone,

How important do you think parents are in the upbringing of a catholic?

I say this because I have noticed that a lot of parents are very lenient on their children when it comes to religion, and this has resulted in the children eventually moving away from the church.

 

[dshix]

Absolutely critical.

If the father fails to lead the spiritual life of the entire family, it is almost unavoidable that the children will have a weak faith. If both parents fail to do so, it is highly probable that the children will fall away upon reaching the age of majority.

Aside from a special grace from God, this is how it generally happens.

God instituted marriage as the building block of society, to bring about the correct rearing of children and propagation of the faith. The role of spiritual leader and teacher belongs to the father, and secondarily to the mother, who is a delegate of the father’s spiritual authority.

The priests and a religious teachers who have the role of guiding the Christian faithful are not, and were never supposed to be, the sole religious guide for children.

Sadly, as you correctly observe, Catholic formation is, at this time, commonly extraordinarily weak and disordered. We had better hope that God have a great deal of mercy on us all and give us a major injection of grace, or else we’re headed towards a great deal of suffering on account of the moral degradation of society.

 

[Mtatum1958]

Parents are the first and most influential of those in a child’s religious education. Both by their actions and the verbal passing on of faith they lay the foundation. Religious education by parish and school (Catholic) provide a systematic, organized approach. Parents involvement is the glue that make these stick.

 

[ConfusedLucy]

I think it’s very difficult as parents who are strict risk their children rebelling. Going to Catholic school I saw all sorts of different approaches by parents which still resulted in the child drifting as a teen.

 

[Mtatum1958]

Oh, yes this is a difficult time. We often questioned whether we were taking the ‘right’ tack. At the time our son was in the mid teens, the parish really had no organized program for teens. We planted the foundation and it did have good roots and grew.

 

[Reuben_J]

It can never be emphasized enough how important it is to bring up children in the way of the Lord. In a Catholic marriage, this is one of the standard marriage vows.

You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. (Deuteronomy 6:7)

Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it. (Proverbs 22:6)

I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth. (3 John 1:4)

 

[Dina]

It’s good to educate them, but it’s better to lead by example than to preach. My parents are extremely religious- go to church everyday, pray a dozen novenas/rosaries every day, go to retreats and so on, but they were very abusive to me as a child physically and verbally, and even now as an adult can be very cruel. I have a lot of problems now which honestly is a direct result of their actions. It pushed me away from the church for a handful of years. I am back now, but I still struggle with them.

I would rather a parent teach the Catholic faith, and be truly loving, kind, supportive, and non-judgemental, than one who preaches and disciplines with shame and guilt due to Catholic ideologies. Or a parent who would sit and talk with me, verses one who runs off to pray their 5th rosary of the day.

 

[Tacceus]

Sorry to hear about that, and thank you for sharing your perspective.

 

[PaulfromIowa]

I have noticed that a lot of parents are very lenient on their children when it comes to religion, and this has resulted in the children eventually moving away from the church.

Specifically, what do you mean by very lenient? Parents have a responsibility to educate as well as to lead by example.

 

[Tacceus]

I have noticed that a lot of parents don’t emphasis the importance of being part of the church and make it more of an option to the children. Some attempt to bring Children up in the church but give up afterwards. Many parents get their children baptized in the church or give them holy communion but those children are never seen at church again. In fact I’m starting to think that for some people it is more of a celebration or function rather than the real spiritual meaning that is meant to be behind it.

 

[ConfusedLucy]

I think ultimately young people need a chance to make their faith their own and peer support definitely helps. An 8 year old might go to church to please his mum, and 18 year old needs other motivations.

 

[melvfe]

My parents used to bring us when we were younger to many churches, many Adoration Rooms, retreats and charismatic events… A lot of Bible and rosary were included in our life.

Sadly, as we grew older, they stopped a lot of these. They’re trying to stop me from receiving the Sacrament of Reconciliation because they said that I was selfish in increasing the parking fees to be paid at the church.

My sister is now no longer interested in Mass and prayers. She sleeps her way through Mass, prayers and even charismatic events, especially when the priest is giving sermons.

I want to join the religious vocation but my parents scolded me yesterday and said the sole reason I wanted to join was that I was lazy in doing my studies.

It’s sad to see how my family has turned out to be. A bright light at the start, a dark night at the end?

Please advise. Prayers especially for my sister are much appreciated. She has an atheist boyfriend and a lot of money; she’s seems to be getting further away from God. My parents told me there’s nothing I can do about it because it’s her own choice.