Room sharing on holidays

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If my future girlfriend and i were to go on holiday. And she sleeps on the bed and me on the floor by the opposite corner. Would this be as immoral as sleeping in the same bed?

Reason : budget constraints
 
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Honestly seems fine. Your intent is what matters and you both aren’t intending to do anything wrong. Some people may say that you both should still get separate rooms because of scandal but I just think God sees your hearts and would be ok with you both sharing a room and sleeping separately
 
You’ll get a variety of answers here. From if you can’t afford separate accommodations you shouldn’t go to no problem.

In reality this is a prudential matter. You should discuss it with your priest or your parents for their advice.

It’s interesting you framed your question as “less immoral”. Sleeping in the same bed, or same room (most US hotels have a choice of two queens or one king), may or may not be immoral. It isn’t intrinsically immoral.
 
If there is no near occasion of sin, I’m not sure that scandal necessarily applies. Normally you’re strangers to the hotel staff and other guests and no one would know your marital status.
 
I have some strong opinions on this, but I’ll try to be gentle.
Many Catholics would tell you that, even if you are being chaste, it opens the door to scandal and that’s a sin. They would say that it’s your duty to protect her honor. They would say that sleeping in the same room or living together prior to marriage is a sin, even without sexual activity, is a sin due to those two things.
My take on it is as follows:
  1. It’s nobody’s business what you two do together behind closed doors except you two and any person you bring into the fold by discussing it with be they religious in the Church, friends, family, etc. as well as God. If you aren’t in a position of leadership in which your actions could compromise your integrity or the strength of your message, it’s only the business of the parties involved and those they bring into the fold.
  2. Scandal shouldn’t occur unless you are announcing your practices publicly.
  3. Gossip is a sin. So anyone who encouraging scandal is just adding to their own list of sins.
So, if you are being chaste and not contributing to scandal, if you have the self control not to engage in lust or fornication, then do what you will. Share the same bed even. As long as you are being chaste, the only catechetical teachings that would prohibit it are those regarding scandal, your duty to protect her honor and contributing to the sins of others.
But, if you are a Chatty Cathy, your friends are gossips or you don’t think you can control yourself to be chaste, then maybe avoid the scenario.
You know you better than we do and God knows your heart whereas we don’t.
 
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The problem you could run into is scandal. I personally would think that you’d be fine, as long as you both remain chaste. May I ask if it’s a hotel or some other form of accommodation? Most hotels offer 2-bed rooms for a reasonable price.
 
Personally traveling has helped me really get to know some people more than any other experience so I think this is important and imo as long as you set boundaries with each other and are not sleeping in the same bed I don’t see a problem.

Yes it could lead others to think you are living unchastely…but so could many other things. To me this is confusing because it’s telling one party to be extra cautious controlling their thoughts and another party to think as they will (and negatively toward another).

As mentioned above, while away no one will know your relationship with each other unless announced. I used to have a really good friend (opposite gender) who I liked to travel with and he decided rather abruptly one time while we were away that what we were doing was “creating scandal” despite neither of us having a romantic interest in the other. His solution to this was to make an off handed comment the next time we checked into a hotel about “needing to make sure the beds could be pulled very far apart from one another since we were not married and could not be that close to one another in a hotel.” Nevertheless, I was mortified as this just was not necessary and I do not personally think you need to go to that extreme to prove yourself to another (who probably isn’t reading that much into the situation anyway). 😳

Enjoy your trip. I would suggest finding a place with two beds and/or one bed and a couch or something similar instead of sleeping on the floor. That’s not much of a getaway or fair to you.
 
Here is a true story: two unmarried evangelical couples went to a hotel to stay for one night. Nobody at the hotel knew them. The two men shared a double bed and the two women shared a double bed. The reason? Ephesians 5:3: ‘But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality’. Their explanation was that if somebody found out that they were Christians and that they were not married and if they thought that they were engaging in pre-marital sex then they would be deceived into thinking that Christians approve of pre-marital sex. My response was that nobody would know who they were, nobody would know that they were Christians, nobody would know that they weren’t married, and nobody would be interested in whether or not they had sex. Also, that the most obvious interpretation of the situation would be that they were two homosexual couples.
 
Londoner said:
My response was that nobody would know who they were, nobody would know that they were Christians, nobody would know that they weren’t married, and nobody would be interested in whether or not they had sex. Also, that the most obvious interpretation of the situation would be that they were two homosexual couples.
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Exactly. As if the hotel staff knows what your religion is, knows what you’re doing in your room, knows you’re unmarried, cares in the slightest…:roll_eyes:

The concept of scandal is much less applicable when you’re talking about strangers you’ll never see again.
 
I find this is often the case with evangelicals: overly legalistic and not very pragmatic.
 
anon91549587 said:
If my future girlfriend and i were to go on holiday. And she sleeps on the bed and me on the floor by the opposite corner. Would this be as immoral as sleeping in the same bed?

Reason : budget constraints
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Here’s the issue.

Do either of you have younger siblings? If you do, there is no way they will believe you are being chaste.

They will think things like, “well my older brother/sister used to share a hotel room with the significant other. I don’t care what they tell use, I’m sure they were doing things in the hotel room… why else share a room? The only reason they say nothing happened is for mom & dad.”

They will say or think, “come on, I wasn’t born yesterday.”

The issue here is if you have people in your life who might get the wrong idea from the appearance of your actions - your are commiting scandal.

As someone who has 4 younger siblings, one being 11 years younger, I’m very well aware of what damage my bad example did for my siblings. I also know what damage my example had on my younger cousins and even parents & in-laws

God Bless
 
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anon91549587 said:
If my future girlfriend and i were to go on holiday. And she sleeps on the bed and me on the floor by the opposite corner. Would this be as immoral as sleeping in the same bed?

Reason : budget constraints
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Gotta laugh.

You don’t have a girlfriend yet, but you already know there will be budget constraints. 😏
 
Aside from temptation and scandal, there are some things that I would not want to share with my “boyfriend” when we are at that stage, intimacy is more than sex, and why would you want to push that boundary? Travel in a group with friends, book a boys room and a girls room.
 
The boys and girls rooms may lead to scandal with the assumption they are gay couples. Two men or two women sharing a hotel room who aren’t clearly siblings? Natural assumption in our society is: two gay couples.
 
Really, that is what you would think? Maybe I am just naive then, but I wouldn’t make that assumption.
 
Reading through the comments which i firstly have to be grateful for is the opinion of others. I have no concern over what others think , for i could be seen as a toyboy if i were to share the room with my mum . Im more concerned about what God would think as well as the teachings of the church. Fyi , sharing a room but NOT engaging in sexual activities.
 
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