Roommate with Alcohol in my Fridge

[Latinitas]

Hi everyone,

Well, I’m having a bit of a problem in my dorm room here at college. I like my roommates; for the most part, they’re good roommates. Unfortuantely, though, my roommate just came in and was putting something in the fridge (which is mine, but I let my roommates use it, since I rarely do for food; I use it more for medicine) and I asked him what it was, and he answered “soda”. I thought however, by the smell, that it was beer. Sure enough, I checked it and it was. Now, I’m not a prude about drinking, but I’m pretty sure it’s illegal to store beer in my fridge, since I’m underage, and so is my roommate (and in fact, my other two roommates as well). Obviously, I plan to get rid of them, but this is the second time I’ve had to get rid of alcoholic drinks in the fridge. The only thing is, I don’t know it was this roommate last time, and I’d like to give him the benefit of the doubt. I don’t know how to handle this. I’m a bit offended that he lied to my face, but I’m not too upset. I just need advice on exactly what to do.

Thanks,
Benedicat Deus,
Latinitas

 

[DarkLight]

You have some sort of resident assistant, right? Go talk to him right away. It’s a matter of keeping you safe - what happens if someone else finds alcohol in your fridge? You could very easily get in trouble for your roommate’s actions and if you aren’t proactive in reporting it there’s a good chance the blame will all fall on your shoulders. You already know your roommate’s a liar, so there’s a good chance that if the alcohol gets found he’ll say it was yours. And it’s in your fridge.

 

[1ke]

Just politely and calmly tell him that you are not comfortable with him using your fridge for alcohol and he will need to respect your boundaries or get his own fridge to store whatever he chooses. And then, if he does it again yank his fridge permissions.

If the difficulties persist, talk to your resident advisor. RAs are trained to mediate roommate issues. And they can give you advice on what to do if the roommates continue to bring alcohol into your room.

 

[DarkLight]

Just politely and calmly tell him that you are not comfortable with him using your fridge for alcohol and he will need to respect your boundaries or get his own fridge to store whatever he chooses. And then, if he does it again yank his fridge permissions.

If the difficulties persist, talk to your resident advisor. RAs are trained to mediate roommate issues. And they can give you advice on what to do if the roommates continue to bring alcohol into your room.

At least where I went to undergrad, alcohol in the room could get all roommates in trouble for presumption of underage drinking, or for not reporting it. If the police end up involved that’s how it could easily go as well, all roommates could end up charged. Much better to not take that risk.

 

[1ke]

At least where I went to undergrad, alcohol in the room could get all roommates in trouble for presumption of underage drinking, or for not reporting it. If the police end up involved that’s how it could easily go as well, all roommates could end up charged. Much better to not take that risk.

I was an RA in college. In two years, reported exactly one person for drinking, but it was for public intoxication and being an loud, obnoxious jerk who would not go away, not underage drinking. If people were drinking in their rooms it was very unlikely I would ever know about it.

Certainly the OP can talk to the RA right away. I personally would talk to my roommate first and ask him not to bring alcohol in the room or put it in my fridge. But the OP is more likely to know the rules and culture of the school on this matter.

 

[DarkLight]

I was an RA in college. In two years, reported exactly one person for drinking, but it was for public intoxication and being an loud, obnoxious jerk who would not go away, not underage drinking. If people were drinking in their rooms it was very unlikely I would ever know about it.

Certainly the OP can talk to the RA right away. I personally would talk to my roommate first and ask him not to bring alcohol in the room or put it in my fridge. But the OP is more likely to know the rules and culture of the school on this matter.

Fair point. I’ve had a friend who nearly got expelled because the RA saw a bottle on the kitchen counter. The school I went to was quite strict on that point, and all roommates were presumed guilty if alcohol was found in the room.

 

[Iheartcoffee]

Start referring to your fridge as “cold storage” and mention that you are thinking of taking up taxidermy again. Label your foil-wrapped take-out with words like “pidgeon” and “squirrel” and your roommate may get less interested in keeping his things there. Buy some ridiculously bad taxidermied animal and put it on top of the fridge. (I’m sure you’ll find one online.) Campus bookstores often sell dissection tools for biology classes. They are cheap. Buy the set and leave it in the fridge.

Now you aren’t the prude. You are the redneck, and rednecks are totally cool with beer until it interferes with their cold storage.

 

[lucymeadhbh]

Start referring to your fridge as “cold storage” and mention that you are thinking of taking up taxidermy again. Label your foil-wrapped take-out with words like “pidgeon” and “squirrel” and your roommate may get less interested in keeping his things there. Buy some ridiculously bad taxidermied animal and put it on top of the fridge. (I’m sure you’ll find one online.) Campus bookstores often sell dissection tools for biology classes. They are cheap. Buy the set and leave it in the fridge.

Now you aren’t the prude. You are the redneck, and rednecks are totally cool with beer until it interferes with their cold storage.

:bowdown:

 

[z_0101]

You have some sort of resident assistant, right? Go talk to him right away.
It’s a matter of keeping you safe - what happens if someone else finds alcohol in your fridge? ***
You could very easily get in trouble for your roommate’s actions and if you aren’t proactive in reporting
*** it there’s a good chance the blame will all fall on your shoulders.
You already know your roommate’s a liar,
so there’s a good chance that if the alcohol gets found
*** he’ll say it was yours.
And it’s in your fridge.***

:bigyikes: :bigyikes:
Every University is different, with different rules; however, what I have seen as the norm - is that there is a clause that possession of any controlled substance (alcohol, MJ, etc…) is prohibited within/on the school’s property.

As a senior at my university, I sat on one of the preliminary disciplinary hearing boards for a semester. We did hear one case from the student residence (dorms) that when I read OP’s post; I thought someone had copied the transcript.

One of the other student residents turned in the ones with beer. The one resident claimed it wasn’t his; however, the fridge was his and that was where the beer was found. The first resident claimed the second put it there, the second claimed it wasn’t true and that the first resident was lying… etc… There were a few character witnesses, etc…

In the end, we had to find, by law, and by the university rules, both parties in the room guilty of unlawful possession of a controlled substance. This resulted in an immediate expulsion from the residence hall for both students, suspension of grades pending the criminal investigation, disciplinary probation for 1 year for one of the involved, disciplinary expulsion for one year (BTW: This was a state university, which meant that the student was expelled from ALL of the state-accredited schools both public and private** !!! **) for the other due to violation of academic induced probation and the case being turned over to the county attorneys office for criminal prosecution for minors in possession of a controlled substance. BTW: The guilty vote was a unanimous vote by the tribunal, the two alternates, and both faculty advisers to the tribunal against both students, both as tried together and as reviewed separately.

SO MY NOT SO HUMBLE ADVISE IS TO GET YOUR BOTTOM DOWN TO THE NEAREST FACULTY/STAFF AND TURN THIS OVER TO THEM BEFORE SOMEONE TURNS EITHER YOU OR YOUR FRIEND IN TO THEM FOR POSSESSION!
(please forgive the yelling)

BTW:
IMNSHO
This room-mate isn’t a friend and you have no obligation to protect unlawful behavior.
Friends do not put their friends in harms way!

 

[z_0101]

Start referring to your fridge as “cold storage” and mention that you are thinking of taking up taxidermy again. Label your foil-wrapped take-out with words like “pidgeon” and “squirrel” and your roommate may get less interested in keeping his things there. Buy some ridiculously bad taxidermied animal and put it on top of the fridge. (I’m sure you’ll find one online.) Campus bookstores often sell dissection tools for biology classes. They are cheap. Buy the set and leave it in the fridge.

Now you aren’t the prude. You are the redneck, and rednecks are totally cool with beer until it interferes with their cold storage.

Brother

(I still stand by my earlier post)

 

[Perian]

Iheartcoffee, that’s genius.

Another ex-RA chiming in. Definitely talk to your roommate first and give him the opportunity to do the right thing. He’ll be less peeved with you about being overly cautious than he will if you “tattle” to the RA. (That’s how he’s likely to see it, anyway.)

If he doesn’t respect your request, then bring the RA into it.

 

[Latinitas]

Thanks for the advice,

I had him get rid of it, and he did. I’m going to warn him that if I see it again, I’m just going to throw them away and not allow them to use my fridge again. After that, it’s RA/RD time.

Thanks,
Benedicat Deus,
Latinitas

 

[Viki63]

Good work!
I love people who can set limits.

 

[z_0101]

Iheartcoffee, that’s genius.

Another ex-RA chiming in. Definitely talk to your roommate first and give him the opportunity to do the right thing. He’ll be less peeved with you about being **overly **cautious than he will if you “tattle” to the RA. (That’s how he’s likely to see it, anyway.)

If he doesn’t respect your request, then bring the RA into it.

Thanks for the advice,

I had him get rid of it, and he did. I’m going to warn him that if I see it again, I’m just going to throw them away and not allow them to use my fridge again. After that, it’s RA/RD time.

Thanks,
Benedicat Deus,
Latinitas

People,
This isn’t playground tattling.

This is about protecting one’s academic career.

Latinitas, at least you made the room mate toss the booze.
IF You get caught, campus maintenance sees you tossing the booze in the trash, the RA sees you, someone else turns you in… that’s it, you are toast and so is possibly your academic career.

Same thing will happen if your room mate is seen taking booze out of your room. It will be guilt by association for the both of you!

Don’t be surprised if there’s a room check here in a week or two, besides being a common practice, if your room mate lacked good judgement in bringing the booze into your dorm - then I suspect the same lack of good judgement when your room mate tossed the containers and used a campus trashcan and campus authorities do check these waste receptacles for alcohol containers… amazing how college students can be so intelligent and yet lack wisdom.

But what do I know… I was only one member of the tribunal and that was 20+ years ago, I guess the laws and rules have changed (not).

At very least at this point:
Do yourself a favor… take some 409 Cleaner (nothing else works as well), turn your little fridge off, let it thaw, and clean that fridge inside and out by spraying a cloth with the 409 Cleaner and then wiping down the fridge.
Then go get that cheap taxidermy squirrel and put it in the fridge.

 

[Latinitas]

People,
This isn’t playground tattling.

This is about protecting one’s academic career.

Latinitas, at least you made the room mate toss the booze.
IF You get caught, campus maintenance sees you tossing the booze in the trash, the RA sees you, someone else turns you in… that’s it, you are toast and so is possibly your academic career.

Same thing will happen if your room mate is seen taking booze out of your room. It will be guilt by association for the both of you!

Don’t be surprised if there’s a room check here in a week or two, besides being a common practice, if your room mate lacked good judgement in bringing the booze into your dorm - then I suspect the same lack of good judgement when your room mate tossed the containers and used a campus trashcan and campus authorities do check these waste receptacles for alcohol containers… amazing how college students can be so intelligent and yet lack wisdom.

But what do I know… I was only one member of the tribunal and that was 20+ years ago, I guess the laws and rules have changed (not).

At very least at this point:
Do yourself a favor… take some 409 Cleaner (nothing else works as well), turn your little fridge off, let it thaw, and clean that fridge inside and out by spraying a cloth with the 409 Cleaner and then wiping down the fridge.
Then go get that cheap taxidermy squirrel and put it in the fridge.

Thanks for the advice. The campus security is a team of students here, and I did ask them about what to do before and they just told me to toss it. They’re apparently not that strict about it. They’re pretty good about not using guilt by association with other students. Thankfully, though, it’s been resolved.

Benedicat Deus,
Latinitas

 

[Perian]

t when your room mate tossed the containers and used a campus trashcan and campus authorities do check these waste receptacles for alcohol containers… amazing how college students can be so intelligent and yet lack wisdom.

Goodness gracious, what kind of school did you go to where the janitors were monitoring the trash cans and carding the students who threw away FULL and UNOPENED cans of beer?

 

[EasterJoy]

You don’t have to get upset. You just have to re-define the rules.

Guys, I’ve been letting you use my refrigerator, and this is the second time I’ve found alcohol in it. One of you lied to my face when I asked what you were putting in there. From now on, you don’t have permission to put anything in there. If I go in my refrigerator and find anything in there that I didn’t put in there myself, I’m throwing it out. Sorry. I suppose you’re bummed, but it bums me out, too.

Then you tell your RA that you don’t want to name names, but this is the situation, this is the rule you laid down, and you want it on record with someone official that no one has permission to put anything into your refrigerator and you’re throwing out anything you find there. They ought to be fine with that.

 

[twf]

For anyone outside of the USA, this discussion is **extremely ** difficult to understand. The very idea that a 19 or 20 year old adult can be expelled from college for simply having a bottle of beer in his or her room completely baffles me. I find it fascinating that such a strong Puritan strand has survived in even a rapidly secularizing America.

 

[EasterJoy]

For anyone outside of the USA, this discussion is **extremely ** difficult to understand. The very idea that a 19 or 20 year old adult can be expelled from college for simply having a bottle of beer in his or her room completely baffles me. I find it fascinating that such a strong Puritan strand has survived in even a rapidly secularizing America.

It depends very much on the campus. There are not a lot of places where an underage student who shows no sign of ever having had a single drink is going to get expelled or suspended for alcohol found in his or her shared room. College administrations sometimes do strange things, but they are more likely to threaten that you could be expelled for someone else’s booze in your room than to actually do it. They know that the sensible students will not find that the outside chance, though remote, anything worth taking.

 

[Perian]

For anyone outside of the USA, this discussion is **extremely ** difficult to understand. The very idea that a 19 or 20 year old adult can be expelled from college for simply having a bottle of beer in his or her room completely baffles me. I find it fascinating that such a strong Puritan strand has survived in even a rapidly secularizing America.

There are very, very few campuses that would even utter the e-word for a first time offense of underage drinking. There are levels of discipline at every school but it’s financial suicide to chuck out a student who is caught one time. I’m not in any way lax about underage drinking and I never touched a drop myself until my 21st birthday, but I went to a Catholic college with a wet campus. Experimentation happens. Some kids learn with the first write up. Others don’t. Those are the ones who need to have the fear of expulsion put into them, especially if their drinking is not just underage, but also resulting in property damage or interpersonal trouble. But no one kicks out a 20 year old who is paying most of their tuition, as many Catholic university students have to… Let’s be real.