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Nordar
Guest
Right, you should smack them a right hook if they so much as move a muscle!
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pprimeau1976
Guest
Luckily I havn’t had this problem with my kids, but people (especially the older ones) should really keep the comments to themselves.
For the children who should know better, I would do what my father-in-law did with my wife once. My wife when she was a kid pinned a clothes pin to the back of her older brothers shirt as he went up to communion. That earned her an hour of kneeling on the kitchen floor with her face to a wall. Her dad said “If you can’t give an hour to God in Church, you’ll give an hour to God when you’re at home.”
For the children who should know better, I would do what my father-in-law did with my wife once. My wife when she was a kid pinned a clothes pin to the back of her older brothers shirt as he went up to communion. That earned her an hour of kneeling on the kitchen floor with her face to a wall. Her dad said “If you can’t give an hour to God in Church, you’ll give an hour to God when you’re at home.”
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anamchara
Guest
wow, I’m surprised people would even say that. I know sometimes it drives me nuts when parents don’t take their crying child out of the Church. I always did.
but to actually say something like that is horrible. Is it possible that you do have several parents that are letting their kids get out of control and these older people have just become fed up with it? Maybe it’s a few families making it bad for everyone else.
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George_Waters
Guest
This is a bit off topic, but I think (hope) some of you may appreciate this. During the children’s collection one Sunday a small boy (probably somewhere between 2-3) was the last one to approach the offering basket which was up two steps (Yeah, we have since changed the placement of the basket, but at the time they had to go up at least one step). He tripped, but crawled up the steps to place his offering in the basket, crawled down, got up and ran back to his pew smiling ear-to-ear. Now a lady beside me started going off at him and his parents “That was disgraceful!” she sneered. I told her that was a great demonstration for us all! He fell, struggled forward and gave his offering to the Church then ran back to his seat joyfully knowing he did a good thing. Too bad more people don’t see the simple yet often profound lesson children can teach us.
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marci
Guest
I have four children ages 6 to 9 ( 8 yr. twins in the middle) I have to say that we missed mass alot when they were little babies, we just didn’t have enough arms to hold them. When the twins were walking well we started going again more regularly, but either I or my husband spent most of mass outside. We didn’t have a cry room and the vestible was just a small entrance, so we had to actually leave the church.
I think that it is perfectly resonable that parents should be able to control their children (I’m not talking about infants and babies). I’m talking about toddlers. Any child over 15 or 16 months knows how to mind. We were/are strict with our children in church, restaurants, parties, etc.
I can honestly say we have never been the receipiants of negative comments on our kids behavior. Quite the opposite almost everytime we are out with the kids people (usually elderly) commit on how well behaved and well mannered they are. Adult family and friends are always happy to have them around and they are included in discussions.
A well disciplinced child is a joy to be around. This is one of the greatest gifts that a parent can give to their child. Self control is one of the earliest lessons that we can teach. I do not accept that even very young children are not capable of learning this.
I think that it is perfectly resonable that parents should be able to control their children (I’m not talking about infants and babies). I’m talking about toddlers. Any child over 15 or 16 months knows how to mind. We were/are strict with our children in church, restaurants, parties, etc.
I can honestly say we have never been the receipiants of negative comments on our kids behavior. Quite the opposite almost everytime we are out with the kids people (usually elderly) commit on how well behaved and well mannered they are. Adult family and friends are always happy to have them around and they are included in discussions.
A well disciplinced child is a joy to be around. This is one of the greatest gifts that a parent can give to their child. Self control is one of the earliest lessons that we can teach. I do not accept that even very young children are not capable of learning this.
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st_lucy
Guest
There is no better place for a child to be seen and heard than in mass. Yes, I agree that there are some children who are unruly, but those are very few and even those cannot really bother you. Children are God’s little gifts to us. And I personally (notice the personally here) do not feel that a cry room is the best place for a child. God is most certainly present at the mass and at the mass is where the child should be.
We have so many missing children now a days that it really irks me to hear someone complain about the very few that we have with us. We should all rejoice when we see our children simply because they are survivors.
We have so many missing children now a days that it really irks me to hear someone complain about the very few that we have with us. We should all rejoice when we see our children simply because they are survivors.
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Nordar
Guest
No one is saying that very young children are not capable of behaving. However I have witnessed older people making comments, or shaking their heads at children for no other reason than they may be fussing just a little.
I personally love seeing children at Mass, sure sometimes they fuss a little but they are kids and God loves them.
As long as they are not really acting up, then the complainers need to learn tolerance and remember just why they are at Mass!
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JKirkLVNV
Guest
A friend of mine remembers well the lesson her mother taught to her and her sister. They were dinking around at Mass once, at an age too far advanced for it to be excused. Their mother said nothing until they got home. She very calmly told them that they would be attending the Saturday PM Mass AND the Sunday AM Mass the next weekend. They never misbehaved again.
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thechrismyster
Guest
nice job, people. (and this is directed at the crowd that dislikes children making noise in Mass)
my wife read this thread and the one about disruptive kids in Mass last night and now she says to me this morning… “maybe I should stay home with the baby while you go to Mass Sunday morning, i didn’t realize so many people may be bothered if she cries.” (my kid is 9 mos.)
So, good, solid Catholics who don’t like your silence disturbed… you’ve managed to heartily convince a new mom to stay home and not go to Mass to make you happy. Nice Job! Now i have to convince her over the next two days to go with me. say a prayer for us while you sit in silence. For those that support Children at Mass who make a little noise, my thanks. for those that don’t… i have another gesture for you.
my wife read this thread and the one about disruptive kids in Mass last night and now she says to me this morning… “maybe I should stay home with the baby while you go to Mass Sunday morning, i didn’t realize so many people may be bothered if she cries.” (my kid is 9 mos.)
So, good, solid Catholics who don’t like your silence disturbed… you’ve managed to heartily convince a new mom to stay home and not go to Mass to make you happy. Nice Job! Now i have to convince her over the next two days to go with me. say a prayer for us while you sit in silence. For those that support Children at Mass who make a little noise, my thanks. for those that don’t… i have another gesture for you.
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DJgang
Guest
Your wife is not the only one.
I’ve been watching this thread with upmost curiousity.
I think I’ll keep my youngest toddler at home this weekend.
Hugs to your wife…:hug3:
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thistle
Guest
Maybe in America but I’ve never seen them in other countries.
Personally I do not believe in them. I see no problem in parents taking their children to Mass. I don’t see the children as the problem but the self-righteous adults who do the complaining about the children. I agree with other posters that keeping them away is contrary to what Christ said. Do you really think Jesus is happy when he sees people complaining about children??
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DJgang
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NoxSineStellae
Guest
I don’t understand how any member of a church that preaches such openness to life and children can object to kids at mass, no matter how “distracting” they are
Babies, toddlers, small children - they cry, they fuss, they wriggle and try to run around. It’s what they do. Sure, they should be gently taught to be still and respectful, but that takes time and also depends on the individual child.
I’ve never been upset by a baby crying anywhere, store, airplane, bus, library, church, etc. It would be like being upset that the sky is blue. It’s just the way things are, unless you’re going to get rid of all the kids, you’re not going to have true quiet. And how are they supposed to be taught to be quiet in church if they’re not allowed in the church?
I always try to give an encouraging smile or helping hand to a parent that has a wily one. it just seems like the right thing to do. The only child that’s ever exasperated/angered me is the current 6 year old next door that likes to throw literally dozens of hysterically screaming fits (the wordless wailing makes me realize how stories of banshees came about) throughout the day - and then I stop and remind myself that it’s not about me.
Babies, toddlers, small children - they cry, they fuss, they wriggle and try to run around. It’s what they do. Sure, they should be gently taught to be still and respectful, but that takes time and also depends on the individual child.
I’ve never been upset by a baby crying anywhere, store, airplane, bus, library, church, etc. It would be like being upset that the sky is blue. It’s just the way things are, unless you’re going to get rid of all the kids, you’re not going to have true quiet. And how are they supposed to be taught to be quiet in church if they’re not allowed in the church?
I always try to give an encouraging smile or helping hand to a parent that has a wily one. it just seems like the right thing to do. The only child that’s ever exasperated/angered me is the current 6 year old next door that likes to throw literally dozens of hysterically screaming fits (the wordless wailing makes me realize how stories of banshees came about) throughout the day - and then I stop and remind myself that it’s not about me.
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pray4peace
Guest
I think a good way to respond would be to smile kindly, saying" I am sorry for disturbing you, we are doing the best that we can."
I don’t think being rude back is the answer, and no matter the injustice, God expects us to be kind and loving even if it is difficult to do so. This is not about who is right and who is wrong, but how we handle things that are difficult in today’s world. We can ask ourselves how can I be more loving in a difficult situation such as this when someone is hurtful to me?
Blessings
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mdgspencer
Guest
I understand the parents’ feelings who have spoken up, and in fact I have 5 children that I took to mass myself when they were young. However, still, there is another side to this. I would have been embarrassed myself at my children making loud noises contnually or staring at length at the people behind us at mass, etc, since actually they are there to worship God. I wouldn’t think that some jumpiness of children should be a serious concern for the people around you, but past a certain level, there can be some call for concern. What to do? That is another question.
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SeekerJen
Guest
Crying babies don’t bother me a lick. Neither do fidgety toddlers or 4-year-olds who ask hilariously inappropriate questions as soon as the church goes silent. Kids are kids. Before they’re of school age, I think it’s ridiculous to expect them to sit still and silent for an hour. That seems like an eternity at that age, especially if you don’t understand what’s going on and can’t see most of it. And I think most sane people realize this and aren’t bothered by normal kid-noise.
Now the little girl who spent half of a recent Mass kicking the back of my pew and the entire consecration under my pew grabbing at my ankles (while her parents completely ignored her)- that was disruptive. The 5-year-old throwing his toys and his mother’s Blackberry at the people around him- disruptive. The little boy who spent most of last Palm Sunday Mass running around the church and kicking the metal radiators to make noise while his mother just laughed (she managed to catch him a couple of times, at which point she picked him up, covered his face with kisses while laughing, then set him down to make the rounds again)- disruptive. If your kid isn’t being unusually disruptive, I’m betting that upwards of 95% of the congregation isn’t going to bat an eye at crying or fidgeting. The 5% who are bothered are the types that find something to complain about in every situation. Let them stew in their own misery.
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PatienceAndLove
Guest
My new cousin-in-law was playing “service” (they are protestant)
She set up the living room like church. She picked up her baby doll, threw it in her grandmothers bedroom, yelled back “i’ll be back soon” and slammed the door.
My grandmother-in-law asked “what are you doing?”
“Playing church”
“Where’s your dolly?”
“In the nursery”
Makes you stop and think about the kid prospective…
She set up the living room like church. She picked up her baby doll, threw it in her grandmothers bedroom, yelled back “i’ll be back soon” and slammed the door.
My grandmother-in-law asked “what are you doing?”
“Playing church”
“Where’s your dolly?”
“In the nursery”
Makes you stop and think about the kid prospective…
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JudithMaria
Guest
Just wanted to say “God bless you” to all you parents who bring your children to Mass. I would give anything if my children would bring my grandchildren to Mass or allow me to bring them. When I was in a parish with many young families, I used to bring a “Grandma bag” to Mass with me. It had small picture books on the Mass, prayers, saints, etc. and a few soft toys. If the kids near me got too restless (but before they got totally out of control) I would hand a book or toy to the parent. It almost always provided enough diversion for the child to calm down, at least for a little while. For all you geezers who have forgotten how it was when your kids were babies, I highly recommend this. Trust me–you will soon be seeing these little noisemakers as the precious gifts of God that they are.
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YADA
Guest
I think children belong in mass and I do not think the cry room works well. The parents in our cry room let the children run amuk- it is a zoo. I never recommend removing a child fromm mass unless you go all the way out the door to handle a situation, then return…
Personnally- I tell parents with young children to sit near the front where the children can see and become engaged in the mass.
Children will squirm and be children…
Jesus said "suffer the little children to come me’…I always think the reason the word suffer was used is because it is not supposed to be ‘easy’…
Lighten up, enjoy young people at mass…some will be well behaved, some less so…what better place should a child be than at Mass…?
Personnally- I tell parents with young children to sit near the front where the children can see and become engaged in the mass.
Children will squirm and be children…
Jesus said "suffer the little children to come me’…I always think the reason the word suffer was used is because it is not supposed to be ‘easy’…
Lighten up, enjoy young people at mass…some will be well behaved, some less so…what better place should a child be than at Mass…?
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KathleenElsie
Guest
I totally disagree with you. Children should be at Mass with their families. Staying at home watching TV is not teaching then to love and respect Gods house. Infact TV as a babysitter is just wrong.
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