Rude priests and blessings

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ETweedie

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Hey everyone as most of you probably know I’m in RCIA and I go to a TLM every Sunday and I was really not going to post anything about this but after last Sunday I feel like posting this to see how wide spread this is. A good chunk of my Sunday is driving to this mass and driving back so it kinda rubbed me the wrong way when my priest who knows I do this always acts like he’s in a hurry to get away from everyone. And he does this to everyone so it’s not just me. Normally I brush it off but this Sunday I was getting ready for a big trip which I was already late for and I wanted to get two statues of Mary blessed they are pocket sized and I had them in my rosary bag but I had forgotten I had put them there. He was walking away when I quickly caught up to him and asked him if he could bless them for me and I took out my rosary (already blessed) saying this is not it, I’m just trying to find it real quick (he was still walking down the road while I was talking to him) and he started praying the blessing which I interrupted saying this has already been blessed. It’s been two days now and I still think about it and I now feel like all my blessings have been rushed through and are not worth much in comparison to those that are meant from the heart. I don’t know if I should try and find a separate priest just to bless things for me or if I should continue or just ask God to bless them for me. Please post your own stories I would love to hear them because I know I’m not the only one. (Sorry about the run-on sentences I rant like Ben Shapiro speaks hahaha)

Edit: I forgot to mention in the end I didn’t even get the statues blessed.
 
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ETweedie said:
He was walking away when I quickly caught up to him and asked him if he could bless them for me and …I took out my rosary (already blessed) saying this is not it, I’m just trying to find it real quick (he was still walking down the road while I was talking to him) and he started praying the blessing which I interrupted saying this has already been blessed. …
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If he intended to bless the items you wanted him to and he finished the blessing, then it is done. There is nothing that says he has to be looking at them.
 
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Priests are trying to keep socially distanced to stay healthy. MANY priests have contracted COVID and it puts a strain on all of the priests in that area to cover Masses.

Also, the priest may have been called to give the Last Rites to a dying person, may have needed to drive to a mission parish on a tight deadline.

In the future, drop your objects off at the office and ask the priest to bless them when he has a spare moment, then you come pick them up.
 
This priest is not afraid of Covid he already got it and some of his homilies are what would be considered anti mask. He doesn’t wear a mask, and he hugs people and blesses other peoples stuff after mass he just always seems to rush the prayers. He also wasn’t heading toward his car he was heading towards the parish house, but I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt and see what he says when I see him next
 
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I’m very sorry about this, I know it’s very disheartening when a priest is unapproachable, rushed or even rude. Especially since you are in RCIA, it is unfortunate and I hope it won’t dampen your enthusiasm for the faith. I will say a few things, as someone who was a rather zealous revert many years ago. Firstly, priests are just people. Some suffer from depression, some are extremely introverted, many are extremely busy and under pressure, and some are just plain unpleasant. However, try to give them the benefit of the doubt - assume the best and try to have compassion, but even if all the evidence points to them simply being a rude person, just remind yourself that this is just an imperfect person - priests are not automatically holy or saints! Their vocation and priesthood are holy, though.
As for the blessing - if the priest intended to bless your items then they are blessed. If you’re unsure, simply ask another priest. A more sincere blessing is not really a better blessing.
And as other’s have mentioned, keep covid etiquette in mind when approaching priests, as you would with anyone else.
 
Thanks for your concern for my soul it means a lot to me. Luckily my heart is on fire for the church as I said I was on a trip during the ride I was able to finish an amazing book called Life of Saint Columba by F.A. Forbes. I was deciding between him and another saint to pick for my patron and I’ve chosen Columba for my confirmation. I’m definetely going to give him the benefit of the doubt mainly because I do like him (otherwise I wouldn’t drive so long to go to his parish haha). I’ll keep going to him to get my blessings honestly this is just something that I’ve noticed going into the Catholic faith: converts are big into sacramentals and understanding the meanings of things (Not saying only converts just mostly converts in my small limited perception of the church so far) whereas Catholic borns are not. Thanks again for your concern and please if anyone has any stories please tell because I love stories haha
 
ETweedie said:
This priest is not afraid of Covid he already got it and some of his homilies are what would be considered anti mask. He doesn’t wear a mask, and he hugs people and blesses other peoples stuff after mass he just always seems to rush the prayers. He also wasn’t heading toward his car he was heading towards the parish house, but I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt and see what he says when I see him next
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Some priests who pray the TLM actually pray the formulaic prayers (prayers that are set and they memorize) rather quickly - sometimes even too quickly for my tastes.

It’s not something that all Traditionalist priests do, but there are some who do. So if he’s doing it fast, that might be something he always does.

Additionally, if he wouldn’t stop to talk with you and was doing it while walking, he most likely had somewhere to go after mass. He might have had to go into the rectory/house first, but he most likely had an appointment. Also (not to be graphic) but sometimes nature calls, and I can understand why a priest might want to use the men’s room in the rectory instead of one of public bathrooms in the Church.

I would shake it off and simply pray for Father.

God Bless
 
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If the priest is not concerned about COVID/ social distancing, then he was likely just in a hurry.

The last couple weeks before Christmas or Holy Week are the absolute worst times of year to be trying to get a piece of the priest’s time. They are all rushing around.

Also, the last time I had a priest bless a rosary for me after Mass he literally blessed it in under 5 seconds. It’s not because he’s insincere. It’s not because he’s a bad guy or was trying to get away from me (we were actually on an extended tour so he was going to be around our whole group for days). It was just because he was a pro and could bless things quick. The rosary is blessed regardless.
 
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ETweedie said:
… I’ve noticed going into the Catholic faith: converts are big into sacramentals and understanding the meanings of things (Not saying only converts just mostly converts in my small limited perception of the church so far) whereas Catholic borns are not. …
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Interesting, considering that the Manual of Indulgences has this norm:
N15. The faithful can acquire an indulgence if they use devoutly one of the following properly
blessed pious objects, namely: a crucifix or cross, rosary, scapular, or medal.
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Yeah, it’s kind of silly to claim “Catholic borns” aren’t into sacramentals…tell that to the average Irish-American, Polish-American, Italian-American, Hispanic-American etc Catholic with their typical bunches of rosaries, medals, statues etc…but I reckon our friend will learn the longer they are a Catholic.
 
Being myself a priest who has been publicly and unjustly called “rude” by someone (who denounced me to the parish council and my staff behind my back) because I was in a hurry one or two times I interacted with them, I would encourage you to calm down and try to see his side of it, rather than posting on the internet about it.

-Fr ACEGC
 
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Priests are people. I know that can be shocking when one sits down and really considers what that means.

In a nutshell, that means they come as short, tall, thin, fat, young, old, smart, slow, funny, dour, hail-fellow-well-met, shy, overly polite, overly rude, like people, dislike people, appear to have no favorites, have only a select few favorites, and just about any other characteristics and their opposites.

You knew how this priest had reacted to you in the past, and yet you pursued him as he clearly (according to your comment) was leaving. He was leaving but you decided to insist,.

Half the issue is on his side; the other half of the issue is on your side.

I don’t apologize for other people’s rudeness, and as I don’t know why he did not want to stop and deal with the issue, i am not going to apologize for his apparent rudeness. On the other hand, you already knew he “always acts like he’s in a hurry to get away from everyone”. and when you asked, he did not stop, so you continued to pursue the matter.

Having items blest is praiseworthy. Pursuing him when it was clear he did not wish to stop and do so at that moment - not so much praiseworthy.

As you have identified that he has a tendency to “get away from people”, then you can either stop trying to slow him down or stop him from doing so, and be rebuffed, or find another time or way of getting some time with him. Or as the old saying goes, doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result…

I grew up in grade school with a priest who could be gruff and rude. I figured out in grade school that he was not going to be like other priests whom I knew through my family, and acted accordingly. You might choose to expand the number of priests you can get to know as there are likely many around your area; or you can continue to be frustrated.

Your call.
 
I know many folks are saying to brush it off, but I just want to say I’m sorry you had those experiences! As a mom of many kids sometimes I have to rush past my kids and their feelings are hurt. But that’s still sad. I still apologize to them. Our children - physical or spiritual - are our reason to be, are they not? F we can’t have them attention that’s a sad thing & unfortunate & deserves an apology & we should make the occurrences rare.
 
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So as I said I’m sure it’s not the same for every church, but the 2 different churches and 1 basilica I have been too the laity at two of them (basilica and one church) were not into sacramentals that much and it came to shock to some when I started talking about the miraculous medal and rosary (especially about the apparitions of Akita and Fatima which they were shocked happened).
 
I was completely calm and as I have said many times now I am giving him the benefit of the doubt. What I found rude was that he didn’t speak straight to me. If he had said “hey I gotta be somewhere” I would’ve been fine. I get up extremely early to drive for several hours to his church so the least he could’ve done was be nice, and tell me that he was busy. I’m sorry you were called rude, but unlike your case I did not give away any information about the priest out because I do not wish to dox him. I still consider him my friend and spiritual advisor. I’m hurt by his not knowing me well enough that I would be understanding of his situation.
 
If anything this incident has increased my faith. This whole experience has been a humbling one. I hope Saint Jude is looking out for me, and I hope all the saints are praying for me. We are all trying to be better people even priests, and next time I will know better
 
ETweedie said:
2 different churches and 1 basilica I have been too the laity at two of them (basilica and one church) were not into sacramentals that much and it came to shock to some when I started talking about the miraculous medal and rosary (especially about the apparitions of Akita and Fatima which they were shocked happened).
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I don’t know where you live, but the Rosary and medals, including Miraculous Medal, are well accepted these days at almost every church I attend in USA. Most Catholics know about the Rosary and medals, although some might not be aware specifically of the Miraculous Medal as opposed to other types of medals. Of course some people prefer to pray something other than Rosary, which is fine; there are many acceptable forms of prayer. However, virtually every parish has a Rosary prayer group that meets daily or at least a couple times a week.

Fatima and other apparitions also have many followers in the US. However, it is not required that Catholics believe in private revelations, even when approved, and unfortunately in some parts of US, Fatima gets conflated with right-wing political views or “end times” obsessions or people who have an unhealthy fixation on private revelations, which can turn some people off. Fatima is also not a sacremental.

I have said this probably 1000 times on CAF, but do not make generalizations about every Catholic parish out there based on your experiences with a couple of them, or within a small geographical area. There’s a huge variety of Catholics and parishes out there. Ethnic background and whether Catholics are a majority in an area or are overshadowed by larger numbers of Protestants often shapes people’s preferences as well.
 
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I try not to make generalizations either that’s why I said that I don’t believe every church is like this. The church in question knew of the rosary they just didn’t know it’s history, and the promises granted to those who pray it. Some of the men that go to that church said it was feminine which led to a long discussion and in the end I had changed his mind. I’m glad most of the people on here thought that comment was silly because it means it was just a freak incident.
 
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