Rude priests and blessings

[ETweedie]

I hope no one owes me anything special I just wished to be understood and a little bit of common kindness from someone I call Father. Also “the one you belong too” is a great thing to say to someone looking for a good community very Christ like of you.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

It’s true that some men are not into Marian devotions. Although many manly men like to pray the Rosary. My father prayed it every night, and he was a Baptist/ Methodist convert. We ended up putting a rosary on his tombstone because he prayed it every night.

However, for men who just don’t relate to the Rosary, if you can’t change their mind, suggest that they develop a devotion to St. Joseph instead. Especially with this being the Year of St. Joseph. Some men relate better to St. Joseph looking out for his family.

 

[RolandThompsonGunner]

It’s true that some men are not into Marian devotions. Although many manly men like to pray the Rosary. My father prayed it every night, and he was a Baptist/ Methodist convert. We ended up putting a rosary on his tombstone because he prayed it every night.

I don’t see what’s effeminate about praying the Rosary. I’m not much into the Rosary or Marian devotions generally but not because i feel like they’re wrong or girly or whatever. That’s just bizarre.

 

[puer.dei]

Yeah, it’s kind of silly to claim “Catholic borns” aren’t into sacramentals…tell that to the average Irish-American, Polish-American, Italian-American, Hispanic-American etc Catholic with their typical bunches okf rosaries, medals, statues etc…but I reckon our friend will learn the longer they are a Catholic.

As a convert myself, I think it can seem that way to us at first, just because we’re so excited about sacramentals & blessings.

 

[Episcopalian]

Not to be totally inapropriate but maybe it was a bathroom emergency?

 

[therese1998]

Honestly, it’s speculation at this point unless he makes a direct statement about what he is feeling or needing to do next. Priests are hugely busy…like everything on this planet, a religious life is not perfect. It is marked by schedules that are too busy, exhaustion, burn out, job fatigue, irritability, bathroom issues, upset stomach, and any other reason that you can think of that someone would be in a hurry or rush through a task. Many priests I know don’t like to be approached for confession or blessing or even wedding plans outside of “delegated time”. Maybe he hasn’t had five minutes to himself in a week and isn’t likely to in the next week, either. He’s human, not divine.

Since you said this is a repeated occurrence, I would suggest you find someone else who would be able to bless your objects. This will be more comfortable for you and for him and turns it from something that sounds like it may be uncomfortable for you both into a win-win for you both.

It took me awhile during and after RCIA to realize that priests are as human as we are and, as much as we and they love the faith, they is often a job expectation of 24/7 and this would be a strain on anyone. To put this in a maybe more relatable context: Imagine you have worked a long day with a lot of people asking for a lot of things. All day you can’t wait for your last task to be done, even though you enjoy your job. You;re tired and you have your mind’s eye on that favorite easy chair or on the next task between you and your easy chair. At the legitimate end of your task, someone rushes out of the office and catches you in the parking lot, asking you to just do this one thing for them. Might you be willing, but rushed? Now, imagine that you work with as many people as depend on a diocesan priest in a parish. And everyone of them thinks their one thing will just take a minute. And it happens all during the day and on most days. It’s not that you don’t like your job and it’s not that you don’t like the people you work with and it’s not that you’re not glad they are observant. But after awhile, it becomes overwhelming. When I run into a priest that acts as you have described, I try to keep this image in mind. I hope it helps!

 

[JMMJ]

How often do you ask for him to bless things? Maybe he finds your requests are too frequent, which could be annoying to him? Unfortunately, most people won’t be that honest with you. In that case, make an appointment every few months and take all your stuff to him at one time.

 

[phil19034]

So as I said I’m sure it’s not the same for every church, but the 2 different churches and 1 basilica I have been too the laity at two of them (basilica and one church) were not into sacramentals that much and it came to shock to some when I started talking about the miraculous medal and rosary (especially about the apparitions of Akita and Fatima which they were shocked happened).

Honestly, I think it depends on the broader area (perhaps a metropolitan area or sometimes even an entire diocese).

If one lives in an area in an area where the Americanism heresy or modernism heresy is/was quite large, the use of sacramental and devotions by cradle Catholics might be abnormally low.

I hope this help.

God bless & Merry Christmas!

 

[phil19034]

I’m hurt by his not knowing me well enough that I would be understanding of his situation.

I f he had to go to the bathroom very badly, he might not have felt comfortable enough to tell you that.

Just food for thought.

 

[phil19034]

Some of the men that go to that church said it was feminine which led to a long discussion and in the end I had changed his mind.

Wait, I thought you attend the Traditional Latin Mass?

Reason I ask is because most men who attend the Latin Mass pray the Rosary and do other devotions.

 

[Jen7]

I still consider him my friend and spiritual advisor. I’m hurt by his not knowing me well enough that I would be understanding of his situation.

Wait yes your spiritual advisor? Hmmm… I’d be upset too. If he’s your spiritual director seems you two have a close relationship ams you could send a email and say “hey I saw you were rushed the other day. Just hoping everything is okay and want you to know I’m praying for you!”

 

[Tis_Bearself]

If one lives in an area in an area where the Americanism heresy

What exactly is this? Edited to add, I know the term dates back to Pope Leo, but that was over 100 years ago. Where do you see it now? It’s an antiquated term.

The vast number of American Catholics I know from both Americas use at least some sacramentals.

I’m not asking what you mean by “modernism” since that term seems to have no clear meaning these days.

 

[JimR-OCDS]

Sorry, but I’m a little confused by the OP.

You state that you were on your way to the TLM when you stopped have your priest bless your statues ? This is the parish you belong to, yet you travel out of your way to attend an TLM ?

Seems to me your parish priest is a little insulted that you’re blowing off Mass at your local parish to attend a TLM at a far distance. I can understand why he seems disconnected to you.

 

[ETweedie]

No this is from the priest at the TLM. I do not live in an area that is very friendly to Catholics so a lot of the local parishes step on egg shells to not upset the local government. Sorry if I confused people English is not my first language

 

[phil19034]

What exactly is this? Edited to add, I know the term dates back to Pope Leo, but that was over 100 years ago. Where do you see it now? It’s an antiquated term.

There is a book that I read from Ignatius Press that discuss the Americanism heresy. According to the book, the Americanism heresy had its largest impact during the early to mid 20th Century, in the decades before the Second Vatican Council.

The Americanism Heresy finalized in the idea that Catholic ghettos and Catholic only adult sports leagues/clubs (like the Catholic Bowling Leagues in Philadelphia) needed to be closed. The Americanism Heresy also lead to the ideas that moved the Land o Lakes Conference forward, etc.

In other words, the “fruits” of the Americanism Heresy was the concept that in order for Catholicism to be accepted in America, Catholics had to be no different from other Christians. The Americanism Heresy is what lead to many Catholics abandoning the Rosary and other Sacramentals in many areas of the country, esp the areas that were not heavily Catholic.

The vast number of American Catholics I know from both Americas use at least some sacramentals.

The “America” that the Americanism heresy deals with is the United States. South America wasn’t really affected by it, at least not directly. Same with Canada.

And the vast majority of American Catholics I grew up with in Delaware (which Methodism was the largest denomination when I was a child) never made use of sacramentals unless they were born before World War II. I never knew any Baby Boomers (or Gen X) who made consistent use of sacramentals.

It wasn’t until I moved from the Diocese of Wilmington to the Archdiocese of Philadelphia that I began to see Catholics who actually used Rosaries or talked with pride about their Catholic childhood & family traditions.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

Rosaries were not “in vogue” in the 1970s - fortunately that attitude has pretty much done a 180 in the last few decades - and things like holy water, blessed candles etc also were regarded as old school by some Catholics.

However, most of the 70s and 80s progressive/ social justice Catholics I knew did use crosses or crucifixes, such as the Tau Cross or some modern art type crucifix that may look hideous to some people’s eyes but is still a sacramental. Some also had a statue or two, although again they were often the modern art kind or made by indigenous people or school kids or someone in an institution and thus did not look beautiful.

 

[TheLittleLady]

. The church in question knew of the rosary they just didn’t know it’s history, and the promises granted to those who pray it.

Did you do a presentation/class for the entire Parish about the Rosary, or, are these anecdotal observations from the parishioners you know personally?

 

[Don_Ruggero]

Hey everyone as most of you probably know I’m in RCIA and I go to a TLM every Sunday and I was really not going to post anything about this but after last Sunday I feel like posting this to see how wide spread this is. A good chunk of my Sunday is driving to this mass and driving back so it kinda rubbed me the wrong way when my priest who knows I do this always acts like he’s in a hurry to get away from everyone. And he does this to everyone so it’s not just me.

I had avoided this question over the past several days…but as the forum winds down, I decided to weigh in.

You say that you are in RCIA…and then speak of attending a vetus ordo liturgy so distant from you that the trip there and back takes a significant part of your Sunday. Is where this Mass is located where your RCIA is also occurring? If not, is this not an issue for your RCIA program…attending liturgy so far away?

I know Americans travel long distances quite liberally and I factor that into my response…but.

As a priest, I would be left very uncomfortable by someone who was traveling hours simply to attend Mass at my church on an on-going basis. If they were coming to visit their parents or family, that would be another matter entirely. But that does not seem to be the case here.

This concern would be even greater if this person were coming into full communion with the Roman Church. This should be happening where the person actually lives, so that they may integrate into that parish community and have the opportunity for full, conscious, and active participation in the life of the parish. When one is becoming Catholic, the person many times has a great enthusiasm. Ultimately, that has to be properly channeled, for being a Catholic is running a lifetime marathon…not a sprint.

It is not right for a priest to actually treat someone rudely and with disdain. On the other hand, I have worked with priests of varying temperaments and abilities. Some have a seemingly natural aptitude to interact with people…others don’t and it takes a greater effort on their part. Each person has their proper gifts.

But I also have to add that there are people over the years that I have had to assert healthy boundaries with…people who were becoming too familiar, people who were trying to ingratiate themselves or who wanted to be closer to me than I was interested or desired…or determined to even be healthy.

You have said this priest is aware of your extended travels to get to and from this place. I would just say that perhaps he feels uncomfortable in the situation, @ETweedie

 

[Don_Ruggero]

As a convert myself, I think it can seem that way to us at first, just because we’re so excited about sacramentals & blessings.

I was taking a moment to re-read the thread and your comment struck a chord with me.

The original poster speaks of having two “pocket sized statues” which he had an issue getting out of his pocket quickly as they were caught by his rosary.

You mention the excitement that someone who is new can feel toward things they have not previously known about.

I wonder if part of the issue could be a concern of the priest that the original poster’s enthusiasm could be going in an unhealthy direction.

Sacramentals do have a useful role that they can play in the life of the faithful…blessings and objects of piety. But they should not take on an outsized place in the life of the faithful. I have known people whose use of them had a quality of…disequilibrium.

Perhaps that, too, enters into this equation.

Of course, all of this really is asking us to speculate about a priest we do not know and can offer no real insight about. Only hypotheses.

 

[Norseman82]

My advice would be to cut the priest some slack on this. Priests today are very overworked and over-stressed and over-scheduled and are often in a rush. To give a humorous example, we had confessions on the weeknights before Christmas; it was jam-packed. I am one of the COVID volunteers who swaps and cleans the metal folding chairs between confessions, and the priest was going so quick trying to “process” everyone that I joked that I could now qualify to be part of an Indy pit crew!