I agree with others who have suggested we consider what others might be dealing with that we cannot see. For instance, my father had a grade IV brain tumor for 1 1/2 years before he died (same as Jonette’s husband), and this made him very slow and “inattentive” for lack of a better word. I always try to imagine the worst case scenario to explain certain behaviors in people now, because I would not want others angry/complaining at my dear father.
In fact, my sister brought dad and one of her young children to the video store one day. She had a bit of a catastrophe dropping movies and such because Dad needed assistance, and her daughter was just crawling at the time. Finally she brought Dad outside (after he picked his movie) to wait on a bench while she went to pay. The checker told her that perhaps next time she came in she shouldn’t have her hands so full. I was infuriated when I heard that, and so happy that Dad had not heard it. Anyway, I marched right up to that store and identified myself as the sister of the “troublesome” customers and ,with an attitude I’ve never been able to muster before, told her that she should never open her mouth with such comments as she has no idea what any family or individual is going through in their lives. Needless to say she was flustered beyond belief and tried to fumble some reply which did not wait around to listen for, but I just firmly and indignantly walked out.
We most certainly can try to “admonish” the sinners, but we should have an attitude of caring, too.
Another example, when I was newly married I was bellyaching to a childhood friend (a man) who I adored (I had actually hoped to marry him one day) about my mother-in-law. Y’know how sometimes you think you’re garnering sympathies for your hardships when you complain about others? Well anyway, I’m yakking away thinking that he must think I’m such a saint for being able to deal with this woman, and lo and behold he says. “Geez, I hope my wife doesn’t talk about my mother like that.” (he wasn’t married at the time) Let me tell you, that was some kind of lesson, and he didn’t even have to tell me what a witch I was being! I’ve kept those words in my back pocket ever since, and have used it when someone is complaining to me about another.
It’s amazing what truth in love can accomplish.
