Rules for intentions

[peterruffner]

After daily Mass, a group gets together for a Rosary, Divine Mercy Chaplet and prayers for the sick and deceased. This one 65is year old women does things that annoy everyone. :banghead: Then the leader of the Rosary has to cut the petitions short to keep her from running on and on.
When we announce the name of our sick or dying, she:

1. goes on and on praying for the poor children starving in Africa, the poor people with kidney disease and on and on… (we pray for the sick, the dying, the homeless, the starving already).
2. she tells if the sick person has cancer or some other malady (and then sighs and weeps).
3. She prays for the same people that other people pray for (i.e. “Mary’s husband”) even thought Mary is going to pray for her own husband.

While people in religious communities may have to tolerate that, I don’t have to. I would rather have her leave in a huff rather than other people leave or someone not join us because of her. If someone has an eyelash on their cheek or something, I tell them so they don’t get home at the end of the day and see it and wonder how long that’s been there and why no one told them about it. Besides, the leader of the Rosary gets annoyed and cuts the prayers short before she starts to go on and on and so, someone else may not get the opportunity to get their list of people in.

So, in grade school, I remember learning about intersession and made up rules like:

1. keep it personal (do you really think God is going to say, “WHAT! THERE ARE STARVING PEOPLE IN AFRICA? OH MY GOD! I DIDN’T KNOW THAT! I SHOULD FIX THAT!”
2. names only (God knows what malady they have and, maybe they are committing adultery and God knows that the prayers should go for help with not doing that, rather than for their healing).
3. Don’t pray for someone else’s intention. The other person has a need to pray for there own spouse - it’s their way of remembering the own loved one. Will God get them out of purgatory sooner because they are listed twice - I hope not or I’ll have egg on my face - maybe I should bring in the phone book and start praying for Anthony Aardvark and go until I finish the whole book with Zita Zzonk.

I’m not unreasonable - I can live with her praying for her cat in heaven… (Ya, she’s 65ish and prays for her cat.) :yup:

Is there a published list of rules to follow when praying for people so I can print it out and give it to her so it doesn’t seem like I’m just/we are having a bad day? :bounce:

 

[chris138]

Could you ask everyone to write down their requests in a prayer book for your group each week, lots of shrines and churches use this method(hopefully no last names for the poor family with adultery!!) and either leave it at that or have one member read the list out loud each week and take turns or voluteers to do the reading of the list, skipping duplicate requests??

 

[Trishie]

Dear Lord, You know whatever in the life and mind of this woman is troubled or ailing in some way that cause her perhaps not to have good judgement. Clearly she has some underlying issue that deserves compassion.
Please give the prayer group persons the wisdom and charity to manage the problems that arise with charity and firmness, even if to patiently insist on Chris’ suggestion.
Lord please work all things in this prayer group to the good.

 

[Equites_Christi]

Prays for her cat…who is “already in heaven”…

Well shoot, I don’t even know where to start.

 

[jhynds]

“Prays for her cat…who is “already in heaven”…”
um… that’s St. Cat to you…

always - kindness and compassion to those who irritate and don’t know it. (& brutal (loving) truth to those who do… )

 

[Catherine_S]

After daily Mass, a group gets together for a Rosary, Divine Mercy Chaplet and prayers for the sick and deceased. This one 65is year old women does things that annoy everyone. :banghead: Then the leader of the Rosary has to cut the petitions short to keep her from running on and on.
When we announce the name of our sick or dying, she:

1. goes on and on praying for the poor children starving in Africa, the poor people with kidney disease and on and on… (we pray for the sick, the dying, the homeless, the starving already).
2. she tells if the sick person has cancer or some other malady (and then sighs and weeps).
3. She prays for the same people that other people pray for (i.e. “Mary’s husband”) even thought Mary is going to pray for her own husband.

While people in religious communities may have to tolerate that, I don’t have to. I would rather have her leave in a huff rather than other people leave or someone not join us because of her. If someone has an eyelash on their cheek or something, I tell them so they don’t get home at the end of the day and see it and wonder how long that’s been there and why no one told them about it. Besides, the leader of the Rosary gets annoyed and cuts the prayers short before she starts to go on and on and so, someone else may not get the opportunity to get their list of people in.

So, in grade school, I remember learning about intersession and made up rules like:

1. keep it personal (do you really think God is going to say, “WHAT! THERE ARE STARVING PEOPLE IN AFRICA? OH MY GOD! I DIDN’T KNOW THAT! I SHOULD FIX THAT!”
2. names only (God knows what malady they have and, maybe they are committing adultery and God knows that the prayers should go for help with not doing that, rather than for their healing).
3. Don’t pray for someone else’s intention. The other person has a need to pray for there own spouse - it’s their way of remembering the own loved one. Will God get them out of purgatory sooner because they are listed twice - I hope not or I’ll have egg on my face - maybe I should bring in the phone book and start praying for Anthony Aardvark and go until I finish the whole book with Zita Zzonk.

I’m not unreasonable - I can live with her praying for her cat in heaven… (Ya, she’s 65ish and prays for her cat.)

Is there a published list of rules to follow when praying for people so I can print it out and give it to her so it doesn’t seem like I’m just/we are having a bad day? :bounce:

What’s* 65ish** got to do with it ?*

 

[ready]

May our Lord help you to be patient and kind with this woman when you approach her with your concerns. May God help you both to be Christ to each other. Amen.

 

[Delaine75]

I can see how that would become frustrating if it’s done each time in this group with this same person. But maybe this is a big thing to her and what she looks forward to each day? Perhaps she doesn’t realize that she’s getting a bit long-winded. I know that my sweet grandmother at 65 had a tendency to do that and no one wanted to jump in and be the one to stop her, so it just went on and on! :yawn: Whatever you and your group decide to do, pray for compassion and patience for this woman, no matter how much she may get under your skin.

 

[peterruffner]

I’ve been doing this for 2 years and the rest of the group a lot longer. I don’t think changing the format and writing the requests down… well, I’ll think about it.

She lost her husband within the last year but, she is high strung and should try to be more sensitive. Actually, I did talk to her about it once and she agreed that she rambles on. Now it is only a little better.

65ish? She should know better but we’re all trying not to be heavy handed.

Every weekday it goes on. And when she leads a decade, she shouts, “HAIL MARY, FULL OF GRACE!.,” and talks like a melodramatic actor. Now, I’m not one to be deadpan, “hailmaryfullofgrace…” but her over emotion causes us to withdraw, “holymarymotherofGod…” and we can’t wait for our prayer time to be all over so we can leave. Not a good attitude towards her, but prayer should be happy and peaceful and not filled with frustration. And this is after months of someone starting the Holy Mary when the leader hasn’t even finished the Hail Mary. I said something about that to one lady and she finally started to wait for the leader to finish before starting the Holy Mary.