Sacrament - Marriage Wisdom Please

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DSMac

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Thank you for having me aboard. I am a recent “revert” according to what I have been reading in “Catholicism for Dummies” written by Rev. John Trigilio Jr. and Rev. Kenneth Brighenti. I attended a Catholic retreat in September and realized I have lived a lie since I married my wife 30 years ago. I’ve found my way back to the Catholic Church but now I have a tough problem to resolve. My wife will have nothing to do with The Catholic Church or Catholic teachings. My faith when we married was quite weak and I did not fully understand the necessity of having my marriage blessed at that time. We married in a Lutheran Church as a compromise, and now I’ve found myself trying to get back to the Sacraments but I can’t without having my marriage blessed.

My wife is very hard headed and set in her ways. She does not see the need to have a 30 year marriage blessed and considers it unimportant. Are there any threads in this site where this problem has been discussed? I would like to talk to anyone who has successfully overcome this situation. I love my wife, but I need my Church more than ever. I’ve been praying about this and I am being patient, but my desire for the Sacraments is a very heavy burden for me to bear. I sure could use some help.
 
First go see your pastor and discuss the matter with him. If your wife is totally opposed to the idea of a convalidation (making your legal marriage a valid one in the Church by restating your consent ‘i.e. saying your vows again’) there is always radical sanation (healing at the root), which makes your marriage valid from the day you originally married in the Lutheran Church.
 
I will be seeing my Priest again regarding the matter. So far this option has never been mentioned before by him nor by my brother and mentor whom I consider extremely well versed in the doctrine. Is there anything in print regarding radical sanation?

By the way, I appreciate you taking the time to rspond to me.
 
You can read the relevant canons here

vatican.va/archive/ENG1104/__P47.HTM

This is usually used for someone in your situation, where the non-Catholic doesn’t want to do a ‘renewal of vows’. With a regular convalidation your valid marriage starts the day you repeat your vows; with a radical sanation, your marriage is retroactively validated to the say you originally got married.

You can read about it here, in more detail

catholic.com/thisrock/1995/9504qq.asp
 
Thank you Phemie, I didn’t know what to expect by joining this site, but I am glad I did. It feels right and I’m glad I met you.

God Bless.
 
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