Sacrament of Confession - to go or not to go

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chosendaughter

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Hello,
I am new here and have a problem
I have recently started the practice of more frequent confession. I have never loved the sacrament, but I do have to admit, that going more regularly (more than once or twice a year) had gotten to be a habit for me. I really had noticed that over the past 6 months, with confession every 4-6 weeks, my life was more peaceful. I still always resist the idea of going, but am always glad I did. Here is the problem, when I confessed last time, the priest was pretty stern with me. I guess I deserved it, but now, I am talking myself out of going to confession again. I don’t know why, because I know that I have to face up to my sins, but I know that it will be harder for me to walk into the confessional next time. Should I tell the priest if I go again?, I wish I had gone days later and gotten “the next time” overwith, but it is too late for that.
Advice?
Thanks
 
chosendaughter said:
Hello,
I Advice?
Thanks
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no brainer
go to confession the next time you need it, to this priest or any priest who is available
I don’t happen to care for my new dentist, so will find a new one on my network, or go back to the old one, but that is not going to keep me from taking care of my teeth.
 
Go! Regular, frequent sacramental confession is a blessing as you discovered!

You don’t need to tell the priest that his words upset you. You did not sin directly because of them, you were simply a little hurt. But, as you thought about it, you realized that he was right.

Do not let embarassement stop you from confessing. We are all embarressed at one time or another, but the priest is not tracking your confessions, and very likely doesn’t remember what you said or what he said. Every priest I’ve spoken to about this says that they forget the exact words of people’s confessions almost as soon as they leave the confessional.
 
You make it sound so easy, the thing is, I don’t think I have had a really rough time in the confessional, ever. More often, I have had my sins down played by the priest, and never did I leave the confessional and was upset with what the priest said. It is a hard pill to swallow.
 
Priests say strange things from time to time. Take whatever is useful and leave the rest.

Don’t let one priest’s bad day or momentary lapse in manners keep you away from your peace of mind, growth in the Holy Spirit, and maturity in the grace of Jesus Christ - go!
 
It’s also helpful to keep in mind that priests are human too. He may have been dealing personally with something similar to what you said to him. . . .

Or, he may have already been hearing confessions for the hour or two before you arrived . . . .

Or, he may have been thinking, "Really? You’re bringing something so trivial or minor to the Sacrament when I know there are people waiting out there who REALLY have serious stuff to confess? (i.e. so he can get them thru the line and he can go home and get back to his day)

I am not suggesting what you said was non important. If you feel it is important enough to confess, then it is. Period.

But, the priest in the confessional is a human being. They get tired, say silly things, have their own faults, etc.

If that priest was not the right one for you, consider finding a regular confessor. It’s so nice to have! That person can help you get to the “meat” of things easily and offer solid advice because they know what your struggles are.

Peace!
 
chosendaughter said:
You make it sound so easy, the thing is, I don’t think I have had a really rough time in the confessional, ever. More often, I have had my sins down played by the priest, and never did I leave the confessional and was upset with what the priest said. It is a hard pill to swallow.
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Sometimes priests can be stern. I was yelled at by a priest one time, because he misunderstood what I said and thought I said I did a terrible sin, when in fact, I did not. I left the confessional horribly embarrassed. I’ve also been really questioned and lambasted by a priest when I was already in a state of tears.

Sometimes it’s what some priests think is needed for a person to take him/her seriously. Sometimes it’s more charitable to give someone emotional hurt here, rather than not stern enough and have a soul lapse to spend eternity in hell. The souls of that congregation fall, to some extent on his hands if things go wrong. Priests are held accountable for what they do or don’t say. They are the shepherds of their own flock, so to speak.

It could be that he just had a bad day(pain, sick, stress, etc.). It could be that he just got done hearing an awful confession prior to you. He could think you were someone else(hopefully not). It could also be from the fact that he felt that you could benefit from him reprimanding you.

Sometimes you have to take it with a grain of salt. Other times you have to reflect upon why he said what he did.
 
I have come to accept priests being stern by looking at Confession, not only as a time of confessing my sins, but also as a time of Conversion of my attitude – I am there because I am asking God to clear my plate of every sin, and replace those sins with virtues.
To put it in other words, the priest is being stern because he wants you to empty your “spiritual bookbag” of sins, so you can make room for all the Gifts the Holy Spirit prepared for you so you can be Truly Happy. (Read the underlined as one sentence.)

My sister, may I give you some homework :compcoff:? It’s not too much, but here is what I propose:
For the next two weeks (the next 14 days) read JUST ONE Station of the Cross and consider it periodically during the rest of the day, and before going to sleep try to think about how it applies to your life directly; how can you live these Stations with Him?
I would print this out as I prefer having printed prayers on paper, so I can keep them on my bedside stand, or in my pocket, bookbag, briefcase, whatever, but if you are ok with it on the computer, that’s fine too; it’s the words that matter.
Next time you go (follow your regular 4-6 week schedule or go earlier; just don’t put it off), arrive to confession early (like 14 minutes), and meditate on the Stations of the Cross (most churches have stations on the walls throughout the church, so you can just stop in front of each one for a minute and ask Jesus for the Strength He had.
 
Be careful going to same Priest with same sins. The Fr. has authority to not allow confession nor absolution. I think that is why the Priest through up a red flag with his stern demeanor.
 
Try to be aware and cognisant that the Priest is forgiving you on God’s behalf.

If you feel that you cannot return to this particular priest for your regular confession, then by all means change. No matter what tho, don’t avoid confession or return to lengthier intervals between them for this reason. Your soul and salvation may be at stake.

For myself, it is challenging to have more frequent confessions becasue it means I am taking greater care with my examens. I’m a bit scatterbrained so I tend to forget things even sins 😦 I certainly know that my more frequent confessions have helped me in so many ways… charity, patience, fortitude.

I would also recommend that (if you are not already doing so…) to ask the Blessed Virgin to help you make a good confession. Equally, important pray for the priest to help you have a good confession. Remember to the be thankful for your forgiveness too!

KenChute – I think it very unlikely that the majority of priests will deny confession or absolution for repeat sins. I cannot speak for certain if an penitent has clearly repeated sins against the holy spirit or other grave matter. But, most of us myself incuded have rather persistent faults and venial sins. What we need to have is a sincere repentance and amendment to not sin again.
 
KenChute said:
Be careful going to same Priest with same sins. The Fr. has authority to not allow confession nor absolution. I think that is why the Priest through up a red flag with his stern demeanor.
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And do not give yourself too much leeway by shopping around for a “lenient” priest. If you are not truly repentant and don’t have a firm plan to amend your life, you shouldn’t expect to get off without a lecture.

The suggestion to spend time meditating on the stations is excellent, and something I will adopt for myself.
 
Whenever the question is Should I go to confession?, the answer is always YES. Good luck!
 
Mrs_Sally said:
And do not give yourself too much leeway by shopping around for a “lenient” priest. If you are not truly repentant and don’t have a firm plan to amend your life, you shouldn’t expect to get off without a lecture.

The suggestion to spend time meditating on the stations is excellent, and something I will adopt for myself.
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That is exactly why a Priest allow confession and thus absolution if intent is not to improve lifestyle. People do then shop around to avoid mortal sin.
 
KenChute said:
That is exactly why a Priest allow confession and thus absolution if intent is not to improve lifestyle. People do then shop around to avoid mortal sin.
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What are you trying to say?

I go to Confession every week to same priest with almost the same list of sins. Not once has my confessor ever refused absolution. He gives me different counsel to try a different angle to combat persistent sins.
 
Thanks all, I guess I will go next week. I will not have the opportunity to use the same priest, but I am sure I will be more nervous than normal. I really hope that it is okay to confess the same sins over because I typically fall into the same sins, even though I don’t want to.
 
chosendaughter said:
Thanks all, I guess I will go next week. I will not have the opportunity to use the same priest, but I am sure I will be more nervous than normal. I really hope that it is okay to confess the same sins over because I typically fall into the same sins, even though I don’t want to.
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Of course it is fine to confess the same sins over and over. In fact, you are required to confess all mortal sins. When in doubt, confess it anyways. Don’t feel stupid or like you’re the worst person in the world. A priest of nearly any vintage has heard just about everything.
 
chosendaughter said:
Thanks all, I guess I will go next week. I will not have the opportunity to use the same priest, but I am sure I will be more nervous than normal. I really hope that it is okay to confess the same sins over because I typically fall into the same sins, even though I don’t want to.
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Join the club. You’re one of millions. God sees that you’re trying. 😃
 
Thanks all, I waited a bit, just struggled to get myself there, but went this past weekend. It had been 5 weeks since my prior confession. Again, I was in a situation that I did not know the priest (different priest from last time). He was merciful and did not treat me sternly. I think I have come to realize that I would not have minded the prior priest’s sternness if there had been any thing else said. So, thank you, and like I said, I still don’t love the sacrament, but I am commited to go regularly.
 
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