Sacrament of Confirmation Denied to My Son.

[NoPlaceLikeRome]

Where in Texas? Our FSSP community has Confirmations sometime in the summer, July perhaps, in Tyler, Texas. I think that an examination would be sufficient for them. However, I can understand if you desire to work it out within your parish.

 

[Just_1_hr_a_wk]

The parish doesn’t test any of the children. That is not part of the faith formation program. As I said before the only requirement is attendance.

The DRE does know me and my family as I volunteered in the parish office for the past 2 1/2 years posting contributions, making the deposit, and doing all their A/P work.

I have tried their programs and that’s why I do not want to be a part of them. My eldest son was taught in one class that the Catholic Church didn’t begin until the 1600s. The facilitator of another class said that she didn’t believe in infant Baptism and that Confession wasn’t needed. You only need to fall on your face before God.

Our parish uses the cluster system where the parents are grouped together and they teach the children based on a book that is given to them. I know first hand the number of errors that are taught in the program. I have brought them to the DRE and my priest and explained that because there is no over sight on what is taught at these classes I cannot in good faith particiapte in them.

Am I wrong?

St. Monica

***While you may not be wrong did you go about making alternate arrangements properly?

---

 

[StMonica]

***While you may not be wrong did you go about making alternate arrangements properly?

---

I found a parish that would allow me to home school my children and they would consider us part of their faith formation program. I brought this to my priest and asked if we could go through this program and then attend the sacramental prep program for Comfirmation. He said no. My children would have to attend the faith formation program at the parish ro not receive Confirmation. I asked him if he also required this of children who move into the parish. He just reiterated the requirements for my children.

Is there another arrangement I should look into?

 

[StMonica]

Where in Texas? Our FSSP community has Confirmations sometime in the summer, July perhaps, in Tyler, Texas. I think that an examination would be sufficient for them. However, I can understand if you desire to work it out within your parish.

We are in McKinney, TX. Tyler is about 2 1/2 hours from us. We go to the Catholic camp out in that area called The Pines. My son also attends a youth retreat there every year.

I will keep Tyler in mind if it doesn’t work out in our parish.

Thanks!

 

[whatevergirl]

The Sacrament of Confirmation has been denied to my son and I need to know if it is legal. The reason why it was denied is because I teach my children the faith at home. The books that I use are approved by our diocese and the USCCB. I have been teaching my children for 5 years now and my priest has always supported this. When it came time for my son to receive Confirmation the DRE denied it to my son saying that because he was not in a parish faith formation program he cannot receive Confirmation. I suggested that she test my son’s knowledge so that she knows he has been well taught in the faith. She refused saying that she did not have time to test every child that comes to her for Sacraments. On a side note: the parish does not test any of the children to see if they are ready. They need only meet the required number of attendance days.

I spoke to my priest about it and originally he sided with me until he had a private conversation with his DRE and now he is supporting her.

Based on this are they allowed to deny my son Confirmation? Needless to say this has been quite painful to our family.
Thanks in advance for your (name removed by moderator)ut.

St. Monica

I would take this up with the Bishop. My son went through the faith formation classes, and learned NOTHING! Well, he had to do a saint project, which we worked on together. Everything he knows, he knows from learning at home with his dh and me…I really get upset that kids need to be going to these classes, and the attendance is all that is required. I feel badly about your situation…I feel like fighting this with you!

My prayers are with you for this to be overturned.

 

[Just_1_hr_a_wk]

I found a parish that would allow me to home school my children and they would consider us part of their faith formation program. I brought this to my priest and asked if we could go through this program and then attend the sacramental prep program for Comfirmation. He said no. My children would have to attend the faith formation program at the parish ro not receive Confirmation. I asked him if he also required this of children who move into the parish. He just reiterated the requirements for my children.

Is there another arrangement I should look into?

If you expected your parish to confirm your son you needed to have a plan that was acceptable to everyone. And it should have been worked out ahead of time.

 

[jmdsc]

We are in McKinney, TX. Tyler is about 2 1/2 hours from us. We go to the Catholic camp out in that area called The Pines. My son also attends a youth retreat there every year.

I will keep Tyler in mind if it doesn’t work out in our parish.

Thanks!

St Monica,

Sent you a PM regarding parishes in our area (McKinney). Check it out!

 

[StMonica]

If you expected your parish to confirm your son you needed to have a plan that was acceptable to everyone. And it should have been worked out ahead of time.

When I approached our DRE and priest about withdrawing from the faith formation program they asked me how I would educate my kids. I had told them then that I would be home schooling my children in the faith and named the textbooks that I intended to use. The DRE even helped to find out if they were approved through the Diocese. So as you can see they knew several years in advance of my intention but they never once told me that if I followed that path then they would deny Confirmation to my kids.

It didn’t even occur to me that they would do such a thing.

 

[StMonica]

I would take this up with the Bishop. My son went through the faith formation classes, and learned NOTHING! Well, he had to do a saint project, which we worked on together. Everything he knows, he knows from learning at home with his dh and me…I really get upset that kids need to be going to these classes, and the attendance is all that is required. I feel badly about your situation…I feel like fighting this with you!

My prayers are with you for this to be overturned.

Thank you for your prayers. It looks like we are going to the bishop. I’ve heard from the K of C that he is a good Orthodox man.

 

[kage_ar]

Someone at this link

cathdal.org/catechetical_services.htm

Would be able to send you the Bishop’s requirements for Confirmation.

 

[Brendan]

I found a parish that would allow me to home school my children and they would consider us part of their faith formation program.

Register at that new parish.

At that point, you are now under the other pastor’s care and can licitly recieve the Sacraments under his direction.

 

[NoPlaceLikeRome]

In case you need it, this is the web page of Mater Dei, the Dallas community served by the FSSP w/confirmations in Tyler:

web2.iadfw.net/carlsch/MaterDei/index.htm

The webmaster’s email is there. He usually answers very quickly.

I have heard that St. Gabriel’s in McKinney is a good parish… their approach to liturgy is not my favorite, but I guess they have strong groups like catechism study and pro-life.

 

[grandfather]

Combining baptism, confirmation and first communion into one is the normative process in the Eastern Rite Churches in Union.

It is not now, and for centuries it has not been, normative in the Roman Church.

And there Are a lot of Eastern Rite Catholics (of a number of different sui iuris churchs) in the US, especially in Texas.

My family had to take the Eastern Rite route also.

Years ago my two youngest as my two youngest teenagers approached the age of Confirmation I became uncomfortable with the parish Confirmation program. There was no preparation in the way of learning about the faith. The students had a number of meaningless hoops to jump through to prove they were ready. It was more like earning merit badges than learning religion. There were lots of social service requirements. I honestly don’t know what this was meant to prove. They earned points along the way and when they hit the magic number they were declared worthy. The whole thing was ridiculous. The grand finale achievement was living on skid row for three or four days on a couple of dollars per day with the winos and druggies who dumpster dive and eat at soup kitchens and beg for beer and pot money. This accomplishment would prove you worthy of being a full fledged Catholic. I told the person in charge that I would prepare my daughters at home and make sure they knew the faith. I was told that this was unacceptable. No skid row experience of enlightenment no Confirmation. Over the years this particular parish had a number of problem priests. One pastor was sentenced to 15 years in prison, guess why. Another was relieved of his position while a multimillion dollar suit against the diocese he caused was in process, guess what for. Now that it has been settled, he is disappeared. Another priest was a founder and editor of a radical gay magazine. My family found a parish of another rite where the girls were able to complete the sacrament of initiation and escape the lunacy. We are very happy there now for more than ten years.

 

[Just_1_hr_a_wk]

When I approached our DRE and priest about withdrawing from the faith formation program they asked me how I would educate my kids. I had told them then that I would be home schooling my children in the faith and named the textbooks that I intended to use.

**Was that the last discussion you had with them? **

 

[deb216]

My son is in “religious instruction” for his Confirmation. The drive home is always an inquisition. What did they teach? What did they say? I have seriously considered sending him with a mini recorder so that I can correct “bad” instruction as it appears. How lame is that?

I can’t help it, I admit defeat. My youngest son’s First Holy Communion was delayed 3 years because he missed too many classes. It wasn’t that we didn’t take it seriously but he was only allowed to miss one per YEAR. No tests. No assessments. No waivers. Miss two classes and it’s back to square one.

My nieces never missed a class. After many years of “religious instruction” I found out that they were going to services with their Church of Christ friends and receiving Communion. When I freaked out, I was told that “its no big deal, its the same thing. We’ve been doing it for years.”

Nice, huh? They were straight A students so its not like they were incapable of comprehending basic instruction.

A local boy said that he doesn’t want to be Confirmed because he doesn’t want to confirm his faith in a Church that shields child molestors. It’s a coming of age thing to him. The whole being sealed to the Holy Spirit through the laying on of hands and anointing with chrism concept somehow escaped him…

For the record, yes I am a Lector at my Church. I would be a Catechist except that I would probably slip up and call it Catechism and be asked to leave.

 

[Alexius]

I have tried their programs and that’s why I do not want to be a part of them. My eldest son was taught in one class that the Catholic Church didn’t begin until the 1600s. The facilitator of another class said that she didn’t believe in infant Baptism and that Confession wasn’t needed. You only need to fall on your face before God.

Am I wrong?

St. Monica

:ehh: :nope:

 

[StMonica]

**Was that the last discussion you had with them? **

No it wasn’t the last conversation. I have been having this conversation with them for two years. Quite frankly I’m tired, beaten, and worn out.

 

[Just_1_hr_a_wk]

No it wasn’t the last conversation. I have been having this conversation with them for two years. Quite frankly I’m tired, beaten, and worn out.

And no mutually acceptable arrangement was set up?

At what point did you bring it up with the diocese?

 

[StMonica]

And no mutually acceptable arrangement was set up?

At what point did you bring it up with the diocese?

No mutually acceptable arrangement was set up. I was told that I had to do it the way they had it set up at the parish or my son would not be considered “worthy for Confirmation.” I went to the diocese just before my last conversation with my priest. The nun in charge of the diocesean Faith Formation called him and told him about the conversation she had with me. My priest was very angry with me. That’s when he told me that it will be his way and no other way would be provided. He even sent a letter to the diocese stating his position.

 

[Just_1_hr_a_wk]

No mutually acceptable arrangement was set up. I was told that I had to do it the way they had it set up at the parish or my son would not be considered “worthy for Confirmation.” I went to the diocese just before my last conversation with my priest. The nun in charge of the diocesean Faith Formation called him and told him about the conversation she had with me. My priest was very angry with me. That’s when he told me that it will be his way and no other way would be provided. He even sent a letter to the diocese stating his position.

I don’t understand why, if making sure your son was properly educated in the faith is so important to you, you did not go to the diocese sooner.