Sacrament of Marriage question

[cellpell1]

Perhaps a member of the clergy or Catholic priest may be able to assist me with this…
I have been married, divorced, and annuled. The annulment took place about 2 years ago. Reason for divorce was my ex abandoned me and possible cheating. Was very emotional.
Since the annulment, I have been in a relationship and became engaged (now for almost a year). A wedding has been planned for October of 08. Everything has been, in my opinion, secure, stable, and blissful, down to the wedding plans.
Recently, I recognized some possible signs and symbols of my fiance’s interest in another woman. The reason I recognized this is because of my past experience from my previous marriage and divorce. My intuition and discernments told me that my fiance’ was lying to me by omission of the interest. I never thought that he was actually having physical contact.

I went to confession in order to forgive this.
I’m looking and searching to what kind of reply or guidance I can get from this and/or should I be forewarned by this? Do I
delay plans for wedding?

Looking for opinions.

 

[jprioli]

CellPell:

I am a Catholic Deacon. I wish I could be of more help to you, but this medium is not the best place to get or give advice of this sort.

I hope our fellow forum members will be very respectful of the sensitivity of this question, and not “pile on,” because the simple fact is that we do not have enough basis in fact to offer any solid advice. Thus our “answers” are going to show more about us than they will shed light on your problem.

You need to get face-to-face assistance. Go to your parish, or to a marriage counselor. Perhaps the priest or deacon that is preparing you for marriage will be able to help. (I assume that you are being married in the Catholic Church; someone there is filling out the Prenuptial Investigation paperwork. Talk to that person, for starters.)

Regards,
Deacon Joe

 

[NeedImprovement]

Deacon Joe is right CellPell.

Face to face assistance is the way…(btw an awesome move going to Confession about it).

I know this isn’t the “prayer intentions” section of the Forums, but CellPell is a new member.

So I’m promising to pray a decade of my Rosary for this intention and to bring the intention to the Mass when I attend tomorrow.

 

[1ke]

Talk to the priest who has been preparing your for marriage.

Don’t ignore these signs/instincts.

If you have doubts, you need to consider postponing the wedding until you are sure about him, about yourself, and about your readiness for marriage.

 

[puzzleannie]

I went to confession in order to forgive this.
.

we do not approach the sacrament of confession to obtain or ask for forgiveness of the sins of another, real or suspected, we go to confess and receive absolution for our own sins.

you should certainly bring up issues such as honesty, commitment, fidelity etc. in your marriage prep, and if you have reason to feel it is indicated, definitely get some counselling for yourself, or together, before you marry again.

there is no way anybody here can give specific advice for your own individual situation, discuss this with the priest who is preparing your for marriage.

 

[DebChris]

I agree with Deacon Joe. You need to speak to the priest who is preparing you for the Sacrament. If you have doubts about the relationship and your readiness, you may need to break it. This is where professional help is important. It is a decision that only you can make.

 

[NeedImprovement]

we do not approach the sacrament of confession to obtain or ask for forgiveness of the sins of another, real or suspected, we go to confess and receive absolution for our own sins.
…
.

The sacrament of Confession is a sacrament of healing.

About 20 years ago a thief broke into the home where my mother and I lived while we were both at work and made off with some of our more cherished belongings.

Among my possesions stolen,were a synthesizer and a guitar which I had spent my spare time modifying for about 5 years. At that time I was earning my daily bread as a musician.

When that guitar was stolen, I was livid. Trying to find out who did this to me became an obsession. I checked newspaper ads, went to pawn shops and stores that sold musical instruments (didn’t stop to think just how big Montreal was I guess).

Anyhow it got to the point where I wanted revenge more than anything else. I had to drink a bottle of wine every night just to go to sleep. Finally, I could feel this thing eating me on the inside, so I went to Confession at St. Joseph’s Oratory. After telling the priest some other sins, I explained that situation to him; plus the degree of difficulty of having nowhere to direct it since I had no idea who did it.

In conclusion I said, “Father, I’m having a lot of trouble trying to forgive that thief.” He answered, “You receive God’s forgiveness now and you will surely be able to forgive that thief.”

That’s exactly what happened…and I never looked back after that.
We also receive counsel in the sacrament of Confession, and God knows exactly where we need healing.

I interpreted “I went to Confession in order to forgive this”, as the penitent having feelings of resentment…not someone else…not unlike my feelings of resentment described in the story above.

 

[peary]

Perhaps a member of the clergy or Catholic priest may be able to assist me with this…
I have been married, divorced, and annuled. The annulment took place about 2 years ago. Reason for divorce was my ex abandoned me and possible cheating. Was very emotional.
Since the annulment, I have been in a relationship and became engaged (now for almost a year). A wedding has been planned for October of 08. Everything has been, in my opinion, secure, stable, and blissful, down to the wedding plans.
Recently, I recognized some possible signs and symbols of my fiance’s interest in another woman. The reason I recognized this is because of my past experience from my previous marriage and divorce. My intuition and discernments told me that my fiance’ was lying to me by omission of the interest. I never thought that he was actually having physical contact.

I went to confession in order to forgive this.
I’m looking and searching to what kind of reply or guidance I can get from this and/or should I be forewarned by this? Do I
delay plans for wedding?

Looking for opinions.

Put the wedding on hold immediately and both of you make an appointment with the parish priest to discuss this matter.