[sacrament of marriage] Trying to plan a wedding....need help

[thatcallmetim]

Most every church I know requires a 1 year notification for planning a wedding. My fiance and I want to get married in May of 2016, so we are trying to notify now.

Churches say one of us needs to be a parishioner, and regularly attend Mass there.

I am running in to a brick wall here. I try to explain my position to priests via email (I know not the best medium but only one really available at present), but I am not sure I am getting through.

Issues I am having:

*- I have been a member of an apostolate, not a parish. It has moved twice since I joined, and changed hands to a different priest.

• My fiance is Canadian, I am American
• My fiance and I both travel for work, and work overseas. I am on contract in Africa and won’t be able to go home until later this year.
• I would join a parish, and attend Mass regularly if I could. I also understand that it is important to meet with a priest with my fiance and go over things all together, but that will not be possible until later this year early next year.
• I am afraid that if we wait until then we will be past the 1 year notification period that churches so adamantly ask for, and we won’t be able to get married next year.*

Any international couple gone through this process before?

Is there a better way to go about this, or a way to articulate our situation better?

 

[Phemie]

Where is your ‘parish’, the geographical parish where your permanent residence is? The priest there is your pastor whether or not you’re registered.

Is there no help from the Apostolate to which you belong? I would certainly start there and see where they guide you.

Is there a priest in Africa who can do the necessary paperwork for you now?

 

[SyroMalankara]

The one year ‘requirement’ is not a hard and fast rule. It may vary among parishes or diocese. I would speak to the parish priest closest to where you are living. If that’s not possible, the bishop’s office.

Archbishop Caput’s chancery in Philadelphia is here:

OFFICE OF THE ARCHBISHOP
ARCHBISHOP CHARLES J. CHAPUT, O.F.M. Cap.
Archdiocesan Pastoral Center
222 North 17th Street,
Philadelphia, PA 19103-1299
shepherd@chs-adphila.org

Secretary to the Archbishop
Rev. John Chung Nguyen
215-587-3800
fr.jnguyen@chs-adphila.org

Senior Adviser and Special Assistant to the Archbishop
Francis X. Maier
215-587-0518
fmaier@archphila.org

 

[thatcallmetim]

Where is your ‘parish’, the geographical parish where your permanent residence is? The priest there is your pastor whether or not you’re registered.

Is there no help from the Apostolate to which you belong? I would certainly start there and see where they guide you.

Is there a priest in Africa who can do the necessary paperwork for you now?

I keep my address as my sisters house. I have never been to the church there, but since my address is there I suppose I could talk to them. I am just not sure what I would say… “Hello, I have never been to your church, but I keep my address in your parish, can I have a letter of permission to get married somewhere else?”

The Apostolate is headed up by a different priest whom I don’t know very well (maybe met him once or twice in passing after Mass). As it was never a “parish” there was no registration. I filled out a census once and to memory that is all.

I wouldn’t even know how to contact a Catholic priest where I am.

 

[SyroMalankara]

I keep my address as my sisters house. I have never been to the church there, but since my address is there I suppose I could talk to them. I am just not sure what I would say… “Hello, I have never been to your church, but I keep my address in your parish, can I have a letter of permission to get married somewhere else?”

The Apostolate is headed up by a different priest whom I don’t know very well (maybe met him once or twice in passing after Mass). As it was never a “parish” there was no registration. I filled out a census once and to memory that is all.

I wouldn’t even know how to contact a Catholic priest where I am.

I added some info to my previous post. Where are you located currently?

 

[Phemie]

I keep my address as my sisters house. I have never been to the church there, but since my address is there I suppose I could talk to them. I am just not sure what I would say… “Hello, I have never been to your church, but I keep my address in your parish, can I have a letter of permission to get married somewhere else?”

The Apostolate is headed up by a different priest whom I don’t know very well (maybe met him once or twice in passing after Mass). As it was never a “parish” there was no registration. I filled out a census once and to memory that is all.

I wouldn’t even know how to contact a Catholic priest where I am.

OK, so Africa is out of the question for help. But your Apostolate should be able to help you.

When I lived in one town I belonged to a “Community.” We didn’t have enough population to have a parish but we were a group united by a language. To prepare for marriage we would have met with our chaplain, done the necessary paperwork and our marriage would have been registered in the nearby parish which held the sacramental records for our Community. We might not have been given the preferred time for use of that parish’s church but it would have been made available to us. Maybe your Apostolate has the same kind of arrangement somewhere.

 

[Brendan]

Are you currently attending Mass in Africa? If , are you attending Mass at a regular community or parish.

Since it appears that you are in Africa for over a 6 month duration, that qualifies as you having established a ‘quasi-domicile’ there, and the pastor of the parish of your area is your pastor.

Discuss the situation with him, and he might also be able to provide a letter for the parish that you desire to marry in.

One fact to consider is that a pastor of a parish other than your own (or your fiancée’s) is under no obligation to offer the parish for the wedding, or at least at a time of your convince.

The pastor of your parish in Africa has such an obligation, as would the pastor of the parish of record ( IIRC, that would be the one that covers your sister’s residence)

Once married, do you plan on attending the parish that you wish to be married in?