Sacrament of Reconciilation

[PassingSoul]

Can a child 8 years old Babtized Catholic that is RCIA home schooled by his Father receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation. The Father knows that his son cannot receive the Sacrament of the Eucharist without formal church training. The Mother is a Non-Catholic and does not support the Catholic Faith. The question is can the child at least receive the Sacrament of Reconcilation ? Trump

 

[Xanthippe_Voorhees]

It is not prudent to ask a child to hide their faith from a parent. The Church will not accept this behavior.

It is possible for a parent to “homeschool” the sacramental prep for reconciliation and even First Holy Communion. I know many homeschooling parents who do just that. In my dioceses, Confirmation can be somewhat homeschooled but they must attend retreats and must still meet with the Pastor for an interview.

However, with a non-Catholic parent, this child needs all the support for the faith that he can get. The church may accept this education and may permit the sacrament if the other parent allows, but it is unwise to isolate him from peers to whom he may share his struggles, especaly at such a young age.

 

[Saxum]

Yes the child can receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation. I’d make the argument that the father in this situation has a moral obligation to teach his son the Catholic Faith and make sure that he has access to the full Sacramental life of the Church. The father takes care of his son’s physical health and ought to take care of his son’s spiritual health because spiritual health is far more important. Since the father is the head of his household, I think he has the right to override the mother’s wishes and do right by his son.

 

[Xanthippe_Voorhees]

Ummm no. That is not what the church teaches. He may educate his son, but the church believes in the sanctity of the roles of both parents and does not put more weight on a man’s opinion over a woman’s.

 

[Saxum]

Ummm no. That is not what the church teaches. He may educate his son, but the church believes in the sanctity of the roles of both parents and does not put more weight on a man’s opinion over a woman’s.

Provide a source please. Specifically, show me where it says that the child of a Catholic ought not be raised as a Catholic.

The Bible clearly teaches that a man is the head of his household and that he has authority over his wife and children. This is not PC but it is certainly biblical. Christ established a natural hierarchy.

 

[Xanthippe_Voorhees]

Xanthippe_Voorhees:

Ummm no. That is not what the church teaches. He may educate his son, but the church believes in the sanctity of the roles of both parents and does not put more weight on a man’s opinion over a woman’s.

Provide a source please. Specifically, show me where it says that the child of a Catholic ought not be raised as a Catholic.

The Bible clearly teaches that a man is the head of his household and that he has authority over his wife and children. This is not PC but it is certainly biblical. Christ established a natural hierarchy.

Yes, that the man must love and honor his wife like Christ did the church. Christ did not force, ever.

Are you suggesting that if this was a woman whose child had a father objecting she would have to obey him?

It also appears that because Baptism has occurred, this situation is more complicated than initially perceived. If a parent agreed at the sacrament* of marriage or at the sacrament of baptism that the child be raised Catholic, then a priest may work with that person to ensure promises are kept. If no such promise was ever made the Church will not go against the will of a parent.

As a side note, if the parents are not together (civilly or sacramentally) the father should be careful not to fall under “alientation of affection” laws when teaching his son against his mother’s wishes. Because this is a legal matter, this is all I will say on the topic. However, it is a very serious law that can carry a lifetime of consequences.

He may teach his son the faith, but he may not encourage disobediance to his son’s mother.

• a Civil marriage does not have the sacred promise to raise children as Catholics.

 

[Saxum]

Yes, that the man must love and honor his wife like Christ did the church. Christ did not force, ever.

In this situation, the father is not forcing the mother to do anything. The father is doing the best by his son.

Are you suggesting that if this was a woman whose child had a father objecting she would have to obey him?

Let’s remain focused and deal with the actual question.

As a side note, if the parents are not together (civilly or sacramentally) the father should be careful not to fall under “alientation of affection” laws when teaching his son against his mother’s wishes.

Nothing would prevent me from bringing my son to Church because nothing is more important than the salvation of his soul. In this situation, I’ll obey the laws of God rather than the laws of man.

 

[1ke]

Can a child 8 years old Babtized Catholic that is RCIA home schooled by his Father receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation. The Father knows that his son cannot receive the Sacrament of the Eucharist without formal church training. The Mother is a Non-Catholic and does not support the Catholic Faith. The question is can the child at least receive the Sacrament of Reconcilation ?

If the child is baptized Catholic, the father needs to go talk to the local pastor. I am not sure what you mean by “RCIA home schooled”. At any rate, the father needs to talk to the pastor about the child’s readiness to begin going to reconciliation and receiving communion and about the child’s religious education. Also, now that the child is at the age of reason they have an obligation to attend Mass. The parent should be taking the child to mass.

All roads lead to the father talking to the pastor. It’s the pastor’s decision regarding readiness for the sacraments.

 

[Xanthippe_Voorhees]

In this situation, the father is not forcing the mother to do anything. The father is doing the best by his son.

Incorrect. If the mother has forbidden the child to receive sacraments, then you are forcing religion upon a child that she has custody of. That forces her obligations.

Let’s remain focused and deal with the actual question.

Please do answer. Remember this is a forum and many others will come along with similar questions and find this thread. It is VERY relevant in parental issues.

Nothing would prevent me from bringing my son to Church because nothing is more important than the salvation of his soul. In this situation, I’ll obey the laws of God rather than the laws of man.

When a person finds themselves with a child without the protection of a sacramental marriage, they must balance issues. The father would do more good raising his child, than cut off at 8 because of the courts.

Of course, you’re free to make that decision for yourself. However, it is not advisable.

 

[1ke]

It is not prudent to ask a child to hide their faith from a parent.

Not sure where this came from. The OP didn’t say there was any hiding going on. Simply that the non-Catholic parent wasn’t supportive of the faith.

 

[1ke]

Ummm no. That is not what the church teaches. He may educate his son, but the church believes in the sanctity of the roles of both parents.

This isn’t really entirely accurate as a response to the post that the father has a moral obligation to teach the child the Catholic faith.

A) . For an infant to be baptized it takes the consent of one parent, not both. Although certainly the pastor would need to understand the situation if one parent approached the church for baptism and the other was not supportive.

Can. 868 §1. For an infant to be baptized licitly:
1/ the parents or at least one of them or the person who legitimately takes their place must consent;

B) The child is already baptized. The child IS a Catholic. Therefore, the parent DOES have an obligation to raise the already-baptized Catholic child in the Catholic faith and see to their sacraments. This is the promise made at baptism.

The mother may decide not to actively support or participate, that’s fine. At some point, the mother may decide to actively teach things in opposition to the faith. That would be disappointing, but it may happen. We do not have the background on how the child came to be baptized Catholic-- typically the non-Catholic parent is informed of the obligation of the Catholic party prior to marriage.

 

[Saxum]

Thanks for writing this post. It confirms the veracity of my post.

 

[Joe_5859]

@1ke is right. The best place to start is talking to the pastor.

The OP isn’t entirely clear. I got the impression that he was wondering if the child could basically just up and go to Reconciliation without any involvement of the pastor as to determining the timing or readiness of the child. That would not be advisable. The father should talk it over with the priest. I could have misunderstood the question, though.

 

[pianistclare]

Former DRE here:
As most everyone has stated, the Pastor of their parish is the one who makes these decisions. Bishops allow for religious ed and sacramental prep of their children in three ways:

1. Attendance in an approved Parish program with an approved curriculum (there are many)
2. attendance in a Catholic School operating under the auspices of the DIocese
3. By homeschooling, with the prior approval of the Pastor and the presence of approved materials being used. He may also require regular meetings with Pastor or DRE to ensure topics are being covered well.

As 1ke says, one must contact the pastor to set the homeschooling in motion. Many families do it. It’s quite common in some places. But it’s the Pastor’s call as he is the shepherd of this family. The Church is there to facilitate and assist the Catholic parents in the religious education of their children.

See to it.
Best wishes!

 

[Saxum]

But it’s the Pastor’s call as he is the shepherd of this family. The Church is there to facilitate and assist the Catholic parents in the religious education of their children.

If the priest is there to ‘facilitate and assist Catholic parents’ how can he be the ‘shepherd of this family?’ The father is the shepherd of the family and the priest’s role is to assist the father. I think it’s very important to remember that the father is ultimately responsible for the souls in his family; he is head of his domestic church. The father may seek the advice of a wise priest but cannot abrogate his responsibility by allowing the priest to take his position.

 

[pianistclare]

The priest is the SHEPHERD (spiritually) of everyone that lives in his geographic area.

 

[pianistclare]

He also is responsible to his Bishop to ensure that the children are properly Catechised.

 

[PassingSoul]

Let me clarify a bit more. Both the Father and the Mother took pre-marital instructions to be married in a Catholic Wedding Ceremony. The Wife is Non-Catholic and had only one request that the marriage take place at an Adirondack Club over a lake in an area where she grew up. It was a beautiful setting but the Pastor at the Parish would not marry them outside of the Church itself. The result was they got married at the Club by a Presbyterian Minister.
The Father wanted to raise his child Catholic in his and his parents Faith. The wife had no objection in a Christian Baptism in the Catholic Church. The wife however made it clear that she wanted no part in the process of getting the child to and from Catholic Religious Instruction. She told the Father it was on him to get them to RCIA. She also insisted that their week ends be spent together as a family.
The Father works late hours and travels out of town every other week. He found a Catholic Instruction Site called My Catholic Faith Delivered.Com where he ordered the material for preparing a child for the Sacraments. The Family does go to the Catholic Church but not on a regular weekly basis. He had called the Parish about home Instruction but met strong resistance on going out of network of the normal Parish Instruction.
So is his situation an absolute no and just move on to another Christian Faith or just attend a Catholic Mass and not receive the Sacraments?

 

[pianistclare]

Nothing to be gained by walking away from the faith.
Find another parish is you like, or call the Chancery for clarification.

 

[Usige]

Ummm no. That is not what the church teaches. He may educate his son, but the church believes in the sanctity of the roles of both parents and does not put more weight on a man’s opinion over a woman’s.

That might be the ideal, but it is certainly not the reality. Before I became Catholic and after my wife and oldest daughter were baptized in the church, I told my wife in no uncertain terms that I did not want our oldest son to be baptized. A few months later she had him baptized at the local parish anyway. The church never sought my opinion on the matter. Why? Because my wife was the only one required to assent to raising him in the faith.