Sacrements For autistic son

[shannyk]

Hello everyone and thank you in advance for your attention to this

I’ve asked this question in a few other Catholic forums, including EWTN’s Qand A section, and in a letter to the Drew Mariani show on Relavant radio, and I’ve also talked to my Pastor regarding it. I’m asking here again because I have yet to get a real answer. No two Priests gave me the same answer So it leaves me

I have a six year old son with moderate to severe autism. He is basically non-verbal although he does repeat some words when prompted, and developmentally he is about the equivalent of a 3 year old. He’s currently in kindergarten (with a full time aide), but I’ve been thinking ahead to 2nd grade when he shoud be making First Reconciliation and First Communion. Seeing as how he is nonverbal I don’t see how it will be possible for him to make a confession, and even if by then his talking has improved I don’t know if he could grasp the concept. When it comes to communion, I’m not sure he would be willing to take the host into his mouth. Autism is at the core a sensory processing disorder and for most autistic kids putting something new into their mouths often sparks quite dramatic reactions. My fear is that he would throw or spit out the consecrated host and obviously that’s problematic. So basically, I don’t know how to approach this whole thing, and like I said I have gotten differnt answers. One priest told me by all means my son should make first communion and if he couldn’t make a confession then that’s ok. Another told me if he can’t make a confession he can’t make First Communion. Another told me he didn’t “need” either sacrement because he doesn’t have the mental faculties and sense of self to be able to understand the concept of ‘sinning’. This whole subject has prompted me to delve into aspects of the faith I have always just accepted, which has led me to this point. After reading and reading and asking and asking I’m even more at a loss then I was before. I’m hoping someone here can shed some light on this for me.

 

[Deacon_Ed]

Let’s work through this together. Depending on the degree of autism that is present, your son may not be able to form the intent to sin, and consequently may not have a need for confession. My experience with autism is limited (two kids, one severe and the other relatively minor). I was able to work with the priest in each case to understand the issues and to guide him in dealing with the children.

Should confession be an issue, it may be possible to guide your son through the process much as he is guided through school. Communion, however, is another issue. The Western Church requires that the the child be able to distinguish between the Eucharist and regular bread. This may be more difficult with an autistic child as 1) we don’t know what he perceives and, 2) he generally can’t express what he perceives.

In any even, working with the priest you should be able to help him make the assessment based upon your own knowledge of your child.

I will keep you in my prayers.

Deacon Ed

 

[SMHW]

I don’t have a lot to add to this conversation but keep in mind, that even if your son is not ready to make his First Reconciliation or First Communion when he is in 2nd Grade, that does not mean he will never be able to do so.

It will be wonderful if he is able to receive these sacraments at the same time as other children his age. It will also be wonderful if he first receives the sacraments when he older.

 

[shannyk]

Thank you so much for your reply

I have to confess that this whole subject has really sent me into somewhat of a depression. I just can’t fathom my son being excluded from THE most important experiance in life; recieving the Eucharist, because he doesn’t ‘understand’ the concept.

The Western Church requires that the the child be able to distinguish between the Eucharist and regular bread

This is precisely what I was told by one of the priests I asked previously, and when I asked him if he could give me a reason that referenced scripture, canon law, or the catechism, he was at a loss. Why is it that a person is required to intellectualize the eucharist in order to recieve it? Isn’t the Eucharist something we as Catholics accept as a mystery? I don’t forsee my son at any time in the future being able to understand that the Eucharist is Jesus. But then again so any of us understand it? I’m sorry to ramble but this just really bothers me. I really think the Church needs to better address this especially in light of the rate at which autism is increasing (it’s at about 1 in 200 births now i think or greater). Are all of these children going to be excluded from recieving?

 

[shannyk]

SMHW, thank you for responding

Yes, at first I have to admit I was worried he wouldn’t be able to make the sacrements with other children his age like his older sister is now (she’s in 2nd grade). But now I’m more concerned with whether or not he’ll be able to make them at all. Of course I hope his condition will improve enough as he gets older that his cognizance won’t be an issue, but I still have to question whether it should be an issue at all. I’m just looking for answers that will put my heart at ease with whatever might be decided in this matter.

 

[mosher]

While what Deacon Ed is true that we in the Western Church require that there be a suitable knowledge for the reception of Communion it may be possible to receive a dispensation from this requirement from the Bishop as the competent judge in this case. The Law does not seem to be made with the intent of excluding the mentally handicapped from Eucharist. My suggestion is as follows:

Contact your Chancellery and see if there are any local norms in place to address this issue. If there are not I would petition the Bishop for the exemption of the controlling canon 913 Par. 1. I would hope that in this situation an exemption may be granted. If, however, the judgment is not in your favor I would highly recommend partitioning Rome as is the right of every Catholic. I think that this is a grave enough matter that it would warrant the full use of the appeal process of jurisprudence.

Deacon Ed or Deacon Lancing, do you know of anything on this matter that has been addressed by the Pontifical Commission for the Authentic Interpretation of Canon Law?

 

[puzzleannie]

The US Bishops have published guidelines on reception of the sacraments for people with all types of developmental problems. The bottom line is always to err on the side of administering the sacraments. No Catholic who is of age may be denied the sacraments without good reason.

We had a lengthy discussion just a month or so ago on this issue, also there is a lengthy thread on autism itself, please do a search both will be helpful.

When your child reaches that age is time to evaluate him. For him, his behavioral affects will be important: can he sit through the Mass, can he manage swallowing, using the cup etc., as well as his spiritual development. All that is necessary is that he be able to convey, nonverbally if he is not verbal, an understanding that he wants to receive Jesus, and he understands that in receiving the Body and Blood he is receiving something other than regular bread and wine, that he is really inviting Jesus into his heart. Since such children sometimes have difficulty in expressing the emotion or sentiment this acceptance implies, it is up to the parents and those who work closely with the child to discern his readiness and eagerness to receive.

He may make great strides in communication etc. by the time this issue arises. If he cannot participate in a regular CCD class, the parish or diocese must provide you with alternative means to prepare him at home. do not lot anyone deny him the sacraments just because he cannot participate in a class. Do not lot anyone keep him out of the class if he can otherwise participate in school. Ask for help in finding a classroom aide for him if necessary, or serve this way yourself.

He is of the age of reason when he can discern right from wrong and understand and apply rational explanations for things. Whenever that happens he is ready to begin preparation for the sacraments. confession can be handled a number of ways, taking into account his communication abilities. We have recently helped children with severe autism, Down’s syndrome, severe physical handicaps, CP, deaf, deaf-mute, and other problems to receive the sacraments. There is a way for every child, the Bishops demand we find that way. If your parish does not help, contact the diocesan director of Catechetics for help. There may be a parish around that has programs for special needs.

I forgot to say that if there is a child who will not ever attain “the age of reason” for whatever reason, they are not obligated to participate in Eucharist or to confess, but should be admitted to the graces of these sacraments if possible. But a child who is in danger of death or has a chronic health problem should of course receive anointing of the sick, and should be confirmed, no matter what the age. It is not necessary to display any preparedness, as he can be brought to confirmation the same way as to baptism, on the faith of his parents.

 

[Deacon_Ed]

puzzledannie’s reply is precisely correct. However, each priest can make that determination – it is not something that is reserved to the bishop. In the Eastern Catholic Churches this would be a non-issue since children make their first communion right after they are baptized and confirmed (chrismated in the East). Certainly requiring us to understand the Eucharist would be beyond any of us. Christ left the Eucharist as “food for the journey” and those who are cut off from human emotion (as are autistic children) certainly need this food even more than do the rest of us.

Deacon Ed

 

[mosher]

Deacon Ed:

puzzledannie’s reply is precisely correct. However, each priest can make that determination – it is not something that is reserved to the bishop. In the Eastern Catholic Churches this would be a non-issue since children make their first communion right after they are baptized and confirmed (chrismated in the East). Certainly requiring us to understand the Eucharist would be beyond any of us. Christ left the Eucharist as “food for the journey” and those who are cut off from human emotion (as are autistic children) certainly need this food even more than do the rest of us.

Deacon Ed

I personally wish that this was also the practice in the West. This just seems more consistant with what we believe about the effects of the Sacraments.

 

[puzzleannie]

I agree, returning to the original order of the sacraments is the ideal, and I hope implementation of the RCIA will further that end. However the topic is sacraments for an autistic child, or child with other learning or developmental difficulties. Parents, please work closely with your pastor, monitor your child’s progress, do everything at home to foster knowledge and practice of the faith in accord with the child’s abilities. Make prayer and learning part of the activities you do at home to help him. When you and the pastor agree he is ready, he is ready. If a DRE, sister, deacon or anybody else gives you a flat no or refuses to even consider or discuss it, go to the pastor. If the parish refuses to help, go to the bishop.

 

[shannyk]

Thanks so much everyone for your thoughtful replies It’s very much appreciated.

Mosher I agree with you wholeheartedly regarding this difference between East and West. It seems to me our children could so greatly benefit from the graces the sacrements confer early on in their little lives, and it does seem to be more in keeping with how we understand the sacrements.

Interestingly I met another mom in my situation this weekend and we are going to hopefully collaborate on this as we have both been told “no” (in effect ) by our pastors. I’m hoping we can together contact the Bishop on behalf of our sons and other autistic children (there are a LOT of them in Wisconsin and we are a very Catholic state).

GBY all and thank you

 

[puzzleannie]

shannyk:

to be more in keeping with how we understand the sacrements.

Interestingly I met another mom in my situation this weekend and we are going to hopefully collaborate on this as we have both been told “no” (in effect ) by our pastors. I’m hoping we can together contact the Bishop on behalf of our sons and other autistic children (there are a LOT of them in Wisconsin and we are a very Catholic state).

GBY all and thank you

bear in mind that no does not mean no, never, no way, it usually means, not yet. Please work with your pastor as the first line of contact. Keep in touch, keep him apprised of your child’s development, and ask his advice on how you can begin preparing him. Bear in mind that many children with developmental problems will never need confession, and that is not a barrier to communion if they can otherwise evidence the understanding and desire for the sacrament. Confirmation can never be denied.

 

[wannabee]

I’ll add a wee story here.

I met up with a family who had a developmentally challenged daughter - she was 8 and really was like a 3 year old - oh yes she could talk and run about , very clumsily - but could not say her prayers - obviously great intellectual problems.

Her Parish Priest had told the parents that she could not make her First Communion because she could not understand anything !! He also commented that this did not matter as she would also be unable to sin.

Her Father served daily Mass in a Benedictine Abbey and took the wee one with him. The Abbot commented on the fact that though the child sat at the side of the Altar so her father could keep an eye on her , she never Received Communion - so the story was explained to him. He was somewhat taken aback.

That was a Friday.

Cometh Monday the Abbot was Celebrating Mass , the wee one was sitting there perfectly well behaved and totally engrossed.

After Mass her father was told that Bridget would make her First Communion next day - it was to be treated very matter of factly , and she was to come forward with her father, and the rest of the Servers .

And so it was done - Bridget made her First Communion - no fuss - she was obviously well aware of Whom she was
Receiving.

Problem solved in a very caring way