Sad. Can't help everyone?

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Kathrin

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I often do little things to help people I see. It just makes me so sad I can’t help everyone all the time. I often wonder where the line is, how far to go.
I walked down the sidewalk and there was YET another person lying there, bundled up into a coat. Me having a bad cold and feeling really worn out didn’t have the energy to go find out if he needed a blanket too, I have no idea if it is somebody who seelps at the shelter at night or outside… Things like this happen a lot.

What goes through other people’s minds, I wonder sometimes.

Can we, SHOULD we, try to help EVERYONE? Is there a limit? Is it ok to say to myself, I am not feeling good today, let somebody else help that person? There are so many homeless. I have helped so many people. Sometimes I guess I have to walk by. It makes me want to cry or scream.

I am not feeling good today. Bad cold, swollen fingers, tired. Things make me sadder when I don’t feel good. Maybe because I don’t have the energy to help everyone. I do the little things that are easy, that I do pretty much every day. But not much energy to go out of my way and run around for people. Sad.

Or should we? Totally give up ourselves and talk to everybody we see who MIGHT need help?
But I have tried that. It just made me go nearly crazy. 🤷

Kathrin
 
Kathrin said:
I often do little things to help people I see. It just makes me so sad I can’t help everyone all the time. I often wonder where the line is, how far to go.
I walked down the sidewalk and there was YET another person lying there, bundled up into a coat. Me having a bad cold and feeling really worn out didn’t have the energy to go find out if he needed a blanket too, I have no idea if it is somebody who seelps at the shelter at night or outside… Things like this happen a lot.

What goes through other people’s minds, I wonder sometimes.

Can we, SHOULD we, try to help EVERYONE? Is there a limit? Is it ok to say to myself, I am not feeling good today, let somebody else help that person? There are so many homeless. I have helped so many people. Sometimes I guess I have to walk by. It makes me want to cry or scream.

I am not feeling good today. Bad cold, swollen fingers, tired. Things make me sadder when I don’t feel good. Maybe because I don’t have the energy to help everyone. I do the little things that are easy, that I do pretty much every day. But not much energy to go out of my way and run around for people. Sad.

Or should we? Totally give up ourselves and talk to everybody we see who MIGHT need help?
But I have tried that. It just made me go nearly crazy. 🤷

Kathrin
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No you can’t help everyone. You might want to volunteer your time at a shelter; instead of trying to help everyone on the street. I don’t think anyone feels like doing much when they are sick. Hope you feel better soon.
 
Kathrin said:
I often do little things to help people I see. It just makes me so sad I can’t help everyone all the time. I often wonder where the line is, how far to go.
I walked down the sidewalk and there was YET another person lying there, bundled up into a coat. Me having a bad cold and feeling really worn out didn’t have the energy to go find out if he needed a blanket too, I have no idea if it is somebody who seelps at the shelter at night or outside… Things like this happen a lot.

What goes through other people’s minds, I wonder sometimes.

Can we, SHOULD we, try to help EVERYONE? Is there a limit? Is it ok to say to myself, I am not feeling good today, let somebody else help that person? There are so many homeless. I have helped so many people. Sometimes I guess I have to walk by. It makes me want to cry or scream.

I am not feeling good today. Bad cold, swollen fingers, tired. Things make me sadder when I don’t feel good. Maybe because I don’t have the energy to help everyone. I do the little things that are easy, that I do pretty much every day. But not much energy to go out of my way and run around for people. Sad.

Or should we? Totally give up ourselves and talk to everybody we see who MIGHT need help?
But I have tried that. It just made me go nearly crazy. 🤷

Kathrin
Click to expand...
Gee… some may people are extolling the virtues of charity as it is supposedly better than the government. How come you didn’t help him as that is supposed to happen without the government. I wonder if this happens in Scandinavia.

At least the board knows what will happen without the government helping the poor and the responsibility is on private charities. .
 
Help who you can. However, you should balance that against all of the other responsibilities you have. If helping the poor or needy prevents you from dealing with an obligation that you have made a commitment to, do that first. It will not help to add yourself to the poor population if you have been given a place where you can continue to help.

I think having compassion for those who are worse off than you is normal, but don’t burn yourself out in the process. Since, once again, you will add yourself to the needy. And be unable to help.

God bless,
Ed
 
Kathrin said:
I often do little things to help people I see. It just makes me so sad I can’t help everyone all the time. I often wonder where the line is, how far to go.
I walked down the sidewalk and there was YET another person lying there, bundled up into a coat. Me having a bad cold and feeling really worn out didn’t have the energy to go find out if he needed a blanket too, I have no idea if it is somebody who seelps at the shelter at night or outside… Things like this happen a lot.

What goes through other people’s minds, I wonder sometimes.

Can we, SHOULD we, try to help EVERYONE? Is there a limit? Is it ok to say to myself, I am not feeling good today, let somebody else help that person? There are so many homeless. I have helped so many people. Sometimes I guess I have to walk by. It makes me want to cry or scream.

I am not feeling good today. Bad cold, swollen fingers, tired. Things make me sadder when I don’t feel good. Maybe because I don’t have the energy to help everyone. I do the little things that are easy, that I do pretty much every day. But not much energy to go out of my way and run around for people. Sad.

Or should we? Totally give up ourselves and talk to everybody we see who MIGHT need help?
But I have tried that. It just made me go nearly crazy. 🤷

Kathrin
Click to expand...
OMG!! This is happening in Switzerland (her profile however mentions San Francisco (SF) too? I guess the people here are right: the welfare state doesn’t work! I should give up liberalism then if this is happening in Switzerland.

I guess Pareto inefficent solutions aren’t really solutions.

On a more serious note, I applaud you for doing your best to help the less fortunate. You have done more than a person with hikikomori tendencies such as myself as I have acquired an extreme aversion to human contact over the years probably because I have some ailment in the DSM IV (maybe Asperger syndrome). I feel very discomforting when I talk and socialize with people even my own peers. I do not know how I can follow Peter Singer’s ethical directive of helping the less fortunate, but I should acknowledge that I am not a moral pillar of rectitude myself.
 
I must also add that people who have orders of magnitude more resources than yourself (e.g. Bill Gates and Warren Buffett) cannot solve the problem of world poverty yet. You haven’t failed any ethical directive; instead, people such as myself should be upbraided.
 
When Eric Severeid, the newsman, graduated from high school, he and a friend decided to go by canoe from New York to the Behring Sea (Alaska.)

They met an old timer and asked if he thought they could do it. The old timer said, “Not if you’re trying to paddle all the way to Alaska, you can’t. But if you’re just trying to paddle around the next bend in the river, you can do that.”

Do what you can to help the person you can help. If each of us does that, we will accomplish a great deal.
 
Kathrin said:
Can we, SHOULD we, try to help EVERYONE? Is there a limit? Is it ok to say to myself, I am not feeling good today, let somebody else help that person?
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Kathrin, yes, I think there are limits because we are only human. We can, and should, strive to be saints, but even they can only accomplish so much. The needs of the world are simply too vast.

Ed makes a good point - you should add yourself to the list of the needy. You do have needs. Perhaps, out of self-sacrifice, you may deny those needs, but they do exist and you will have to meet them at some point. Again, we are only human. It is okay, if sickness overwhelms you, to say “I just can’t do this today” - although you might want to pray that someone else provides the help.

I think one of our tasks on earth is to listen to God and find what he wants us, as individuals, to do with our life. Helping homeless persons may very well be what God is calling you to do. But even meeting the needs of the homeless in one city is too much for one person. Elizabeth’s idea of helping at a shelter is not a bad one. I don’t know if it is the right one for you, but volunteering at a shelter would allow you to meet the needs of people in a more comprehensive and lasting way. And at the same time, you would receive the social and emotional support of the others who are helping out - this can be very helpful in avoiding the burnout which Ed warns about.

Kathrin, you are a good person. But God wants everyone to help heal the world. This will happen, as Vern mentions, if we each do our part. Do not feel that it all rests on your shoulders. It doesn’t.

But I am very glad to have met you here and will remember you in my prayers.
 
(I am in San Francisco right now.)

Thank you all for your replies. I do help at a homeless outreach place. I help provide meals, sometimes clothing… and I do a lot of other stuff too. It is when I see somebody in the street that sometimes it gets just too much on top of all the other things. But then, just this one person might be the neediest, how are we to know?

But yes, the world cannot rest on my narrow shoulders…
😉

Kathrin
 
Kathrin said:
(I am in San Francisco right now.)

Thank you all for your replies. I do help at a homeless outreach place. I help provide meals, sometimes clothing… and I do a lot of other stuff too. It is when I see somebody in the street that sometimes it gets just too much on top of all the other things. But then, just this one person might be the neediest, how are we to know?

But yes, the world cannot rest on my narrow shoulders…
😉

Kathrin
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I really struggle with this issue. By giving your coat or a blanket or money to someone living on the streets, you may not be helping them. It could be hurting them by helping them maintain their drug/booze habit. Getting/directing them to a shelter that may also help them get their life in order would probably be the more charitable thing to do.
 
I know. It is a difficult issue, especially when also seen this way.
Like, what do you do if somebody chooses not to go to a shelter because they would rather drink?
What if it is a really cold night? Then a blanket owuld be harm reduction… But yeah, on the other hand, if they DON’T have one they might decide to go to a shelter and throw away the bottle of booze when they get really cold.
On the other hand, they may get drunk and freeze to death.
But then, WITH the blanket, it may just be a slower death over the years.
Delicate, delicate.
I guess it is a spur of the moment thing sometimes. Usually in such a situation I would decide to give them something warm if I have it. Because there will be other chances for them to stop the drinking.

The thing I struggle with more than that is situations when i do NOT have the resources at the moment. Like, how far do I go? Do I jump off the bus for everybody I see sleeping in a doorway who isn’t covered up? Do I go back to check on people if they still have their blankets? Maybe I can’t take on that much responsibility, because often I just make myself sick taking it too far. And still, I feel for everyone, somehow. Put myself into their situation (I am somebody who gets cold very easily!!! Ok, it may not get as cold here a sin other cities but it can get pretty chilly! Right now - brrr!!!)

It is a more general question I guess:How much can, and how much SHOULD, I let myself get sidetracked by all the possibilities of need that I encounter on my way?
Maybe an asnwer would be to help where I am sure there is a need. And if I see somebody during the daytime and am not sure if they are staying at a shelter or not, just pray that if they aren’t that somebody will see them at night and help them out. And if I gave somebody a blanket and am not sure if they lost it again, pray that if they do, there will be another chairtable person helping them again…

Kathrin
 
I think you should help them to the best of your ability. Why?

Because I don’t as I have explained earlier in this thread, I am a quasi-hikikomori, in other words, a recluse.

Am I happy? No, I am a miserable and unpleasant. I often spend my free time reading books on line (currently Cancer Medicineand HIV Medicine), and watching Japanese Yu-Gi-Oh! episodes, and reading news articles so I can better understand the world.

I look in the mirror and see a vile, isolated person, I hope you do not.
 
Hey you:hug1:
Now if I lived near you, I think YOU would be one of the people I would want to help!
Hey, I CAN help you… I can pray for you…🙂

:gopray2:

Please don’t see yourself as a vile person. I really don’t think that is what you are. Becoming a recluse can have many different reasons.

I think what you mean in your reply is that if somebody does have the motivation and will to help other people, they should make use of that as best as they can? because you know how it is when that motivation is lacking?

“To the best of one’s ability” - that is the tricky part though. Does that mean: Until I burn out? And then become a recluse? Or do as much as I can WITHOUT burning out, taking care of myself too?

Kathrin
 
It is clear that you have the love of Christ within you and wish to share it with others, which is truly a beautiful sight! My advice is to not get discouraged as everything is in God’s control and you are merely the implement he uses to fulfill his will. As for how many people should you help, I don’t believe Jesus had a quota system set up, in fact to my recollection, Jesus helped all those he came to him, and we should emulate this behavior. Sure, being a human being, you can’t possibly help everyone, but please realize that every bit of help you do offer, regardless of how small, is God working through you.
 
ribozyme said:
Am I happy? No, I am a miserable and unpleasant. I often spend my free time reading books on line (currently Cancer Medicine and HIV Medicine), and watching Japanese Yu-Gi-Oh! episodes, and reading news articles so I can better understand the world.

I look in the mirror and see a vile, isolated person, I hope you do not.
Click to expand...
Maybe what you are reading does not help you better understand the world, but makes you into what you see in the mirror. What you see is in the eye of the beholder. How good are your eyes to see? God loves you in your vileness and isolation. You need hope, and faith and love. If you could see yourself as God does you would see yourself as you truly are. We are all pitiful creatures. That is why He takes pity on us. It is why mercy exists. It is available to all, but only receivable by the humble. Are you humble and vile, or proud and vile? If you are humble your vileness will be transformed and you will become noble.

God bless you.
 
ribozyme said:
I think you should help them to the best of your ability. Why?

Because I don’t as I have explained earlier in this thread, I am a quasi-hikikomori, in other words, a recluse.

Am I happy? No, I am a miserable and unpleasant. I often spend my free time reading books on line (currently Cancer Medicine and HIV Medicine), and watching Japanese Yu-Gi-Oh! episodes, and reading news articles so I can better understand the world.

I look in the mirror and see a vile, isolated person, I hope you do not.
Click to expand...
I will definitely pray for you. This may be a stretch, but since you seem to have tried other remedies which didn’t work; try opening yourself to Jesus Christ. His yoke is easy and his burden is light. It couldn’t hurt your situation and I believe in my heart that it will actually help. Need some direction? Just ask, the people here are very resourceful.
 
It is tough to see all the pains people go through. I’m a police officer and have seen people who are in abusive relationships, children starving because parents have a drug/alcohol problem, stealing for food, etc… Sometimes it seems as though it never will end and what I do is worthless.
I realized after time that in some situations we cannot fix problems. I am a strong believer in the corporal works of mercy, but also the spirtual works of mercy. If I can not physically help a person, I say the divine mercy chaplet for all those I cannot help. I believe that Jesus promised us that he will open up his mercy for all who ask and feel that when I say the divine mercy chaplet for the benefit of one who is suffering, Jesus helps that person. I may never see the result but I believe in my heart that I have helped this person. We don’t always see the result of our actions but Jesus promises to open up his mercy on all who ask.
Hope thinking about this helps you because it is how I get through my days. God bless you
 
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