Sad memories linked to birthday

[skigirl1689]

I know this may sound a bit selfish, but I do know bad/sad things happen no matter the date. One of my dad’s high school friends died the day I was born and then there was a major earthquake the following day…things just happen. Plus four years ago one of my uncle’s died 2 days after my birthday, and that was a sad birthday too.

My birthday is tomorrow and I’m having a really difficult time because all I can think about when it’s mentioned is how last year I spent it at a funeral home because my favorite uncle had died 4 days earlier. We were really close, and I think I only began to really grieve for him at the wake so all of these memories are really painful.

I do plan on celebrating, but I’m wondering if it’s just strange that this is what I am remembering…and if it’ll ever get easier. Maybe I just remember the deaths stronger than most people…I don’t know. I know he’d want me to be happy and not remember the sadness, but I’m not sure how.

P.S. I should add that last year I actually celebrated it the week before when I was home from college as I was not supposed to see my family on my actual birthday but it still didn’t make it easier as people online were wishing me a good day (granted, most had no idea what had happened) and it was an awful day.

 

[bluerose]

My older sister was killed in a car crash two days before my mother’s birthday. I was 9 months old at the time and it was when my mom was in the hospital that she discovered she was pregnant with my younger sister.

Did that make her birthdays any easier? No. She’s 86, my sister’s been gone for 45 years but the pain still remains, though my younger sister and I try to make her day good for her (hard to do, since we’ve lost my brother and my dad in the last five years.) But life goes on and even if we do spend the day reminiscing, it usually turns to smiles through tears and we celebrate their lives as well as hers.

So let me wish you a blessed birthday and remember to count the blessings you’ve received on this day… including having those people who are now gone in your life and treasure the memories you have of them.

God bless!

 

[Trishie]

One very wonderful thing makes your birthday very special.
You were born. Whatever sadness, that you were born and that you are you, a unique and valuable person, makes your birthday something wonderful to celebrate
HAPPY BIRTHDAY

 

[skigirl1689]

Thank you for your kind words. Today I was looking at my baby pictures of when I was in the NICU and being amazed at how God has blessed me with so many things in spite of my physical limitations. I was a pretty cute little thing even in the incubator, if I may say so (I was full term so I was also a “giant” in the unit, as my parents say).

I pray it gets easier as the years pass, the firsts after a death are always the toughest as I am remembering once again.

 

[Contra_Mundum_1]

Happy birthday!!!

It is ok to feel sad about the loss of your loved ones, but at the same time remember that your birthday is about celebrating your life. Thank God for all the good things in your life, for all the people who care about you, for every year that you have been alive. God bless.

 

[skigirl1689]

Happy Birthday, congratulations on another year of LIFE!

Ask Jesus to help you, try and have a conversation with him and be close to him. Tell him something like “Jesus I feel sad and yet want to be happy. Please help me navigate my way through these mixed emotions. Help me to honor those that have passed away and that I love and yet help me to be able to feel joy again!”

He knows what you are feeling, in fact he has known from all eternity that this would be your experience and that this would be difficult for you. Ask him how he wants you to handle it, hope this helps a little. God bless.

This really helped me as well as all of the advice! It was a pretty great day and I wasn’t sad like I thought I would be

 

[chevalier]

I know this may sound a bit selfish, but I do know bad/sad things happen no matter the date. One of my dad’s high school friends died the day I was born and then there was a major earthquake the following day…things just happen. Plus four years ago one of my uncle’s died 2 days after my birthday, and that was a sad birthday too.

My birthday is tomorrow and I’m having a really difficult time because all I can think about when it’s mentioned is how last year I spent it at a funeral home because my favorite uncle had died 4 days earlier. We were really close, and I think I only began to really grieve for him at the wake so all of these memories are really painful.

I do plan on celebrating, but I’m wondering if it’s just strange that this is what I am remembering…and if it’ll ever get easier. Maybe I just remember the deaths stronger than most people…I don’t know. I know he’d want me to be happy and not remember the sadness, but I’m not sure how.

P.S. I should add that last year I actually celebrated it the week before when I was home from college as I was not supposed to see my family on my actual birthday but it still didn’t make it easier as people online were wishing me a good day (granted, most had no idea what had happened) and it was an awful day.

Don’t worry about those things! They just happened in time-proximity to your birthdays and there isn’t more to it. Don’t get into thinking there’s some kind of pattern that bad things happen around your birthday. Hope you had a good one, by the way!