Saint Peter's Wife

[nevadagardener]

Jesus is pretty clear about what He expects from His Apostles who are already married to follow Him in His Ministry.

Are you keeping up with the Daily Readings for the last few days? Jumping into the link I gave allows you to verify these as well. Check out the highlighted text from the last several days, this one from Friday, August 14, 2009:

Gospel, Mt 19:3-12
3 Some Pharisees approached him, and to put him to the test they said, ‘Is it against the Law for a man to divorce his wife on any pretext whatever?’
4 He answered, ‘Have you not read that the Creator from the beginning made them male and female
5 and that he said: This is why a man leaves his father and mother and becomes attached to his wife, and the two become one flesh?
6 They are no longer two, therefore, but one flesh. So then, what God has united, human beings must not divide.’
7 They said to him, ‘Then why did Moses command that a writ of dismissal should be given in cases of divorce?’
8 He said to them, ‘It was because you were so hard-hearted, that Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but it was not like this from the beginning.
9 Now I say this to you: anyone who divorces his wife – I am not speaking of an illicit marriage – and marries another, is guilty of adultery.’
10 The disciples said to him, ‘If that is how things are between husband and wife, it is advisable not to marry.’
11 But he replied, ‘It is not everyone who can accept what I have said, but only those to whom it is granted.
12 There are eunuchs born so from their mother’s womb, there are eunuchs made so by human agency and there are eunuchs who have made themselves so for the sake of the kingdom of Heaven. Let anyone accept this who can.’

Daily Readings for Monday August 17, 2009

Gospel, Mt 19:16-22
16 And now a man came to him and asked, ‘Master, what good deed must I do to possess eternal life?’
17 Jesus said to him, ‘Why do you ask me about what is good? There is one alone who is good. But if you wish to enter into life, keep the commandments.’
18 He said, ‘Which ones?’ Jesus replied, ‘These: You shall not kill. You shall not commit adultery. You shall not steal. You shall not give false witness.
19 Honour your father and your mother. You shall love your neighbour as yourself.’
20 The young man said to him, ‘I have kept all these. What more do I need to do?’
21 Jesus said, ‘If you wish to be perfect, go and sell your possessions and give the money to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; then come, follow me.’
22 But when the young man heard these words he went away sad, for he was a man of great wealth.

He makes it clear that for those already married who choose to follow Him, in divorcing/abandoning their wives, they would have been causing their wives to commit adultery in seeking another spouse, that they had been joined by God as one flesh. Their marriages are sacred. (There are other references to that as well in the last few weeks worth of Readings.)

Jesus, in speaking to His Apostles, was not about to reverse that! Check out in particular Verses 4, 5, 6, 9, and then 18.

What is made clear, when He is speaking to the rich man, is that in order to gain entry to Heaven, he has to keep the commandments, and give up possessions, which His Apostles had done already, and for those not yet married to not marry, in order to not to have to choose between two masters. The role of deacon, or roles in other service are provided for those who choose to marry, and a few others for those who don’t (i.e. the brotherhood, sisterhood), and are very different roles of service that of the priesthood. Other lines of the text above support that, for those who choose to accept what He has said regarding marriage and the granting of the priesthood.

Those lines from Our Lord are why I am comfortable with my understanding of why Peter would not have abandoned his wife to follow Our Lord.

 

[MarthaTherese]

Inkaner, you’re mistaken.

There is the Eastern Catholic Churches and the Orthodox Church. They are not the same, and yes, the Eastern Catholic Church permits married priests, as long as they are married prior to entering the priesthood.

By the way, I do agree that celibacy is best for priests.

I also agree. But it is not only the Eastern Catholic Church that permits married priests. There is such a dearth of dedicated priests in the Latin Rite churches, that many previously married men are not only allowed, but welcomed with open arms into the Roman Catholic priesthood. There are several in California that I know of, and many in other states as well.
God bless you all.
Your sister in Christ,
Martha Therese

 

[nlm]

Celibacy and the Catholic Priest

Many people believe that the Catholic Church violates the Word of God because it forbids people to marry (cf. 1 Timothy 4:3) or that it is wrong for priests to remain celibate. To get a clearer picture of this issue, let’s examine what the Bible has to say about the subject of celibacy.

Matthew 19:11-12
11Jesus replied, “Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. 12For some are eunuchs because they were born that way; others were made that way by men; and others have renounced marriage because of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.”

Jesus offers the celibate life as a gift and tells us that “The one who can accept this should accept it.”

1 Corinthians 7:1
1Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to marry.

1 Corinthians 7:7
7I wish that all men were as I am. But each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.

Paul reveals his own celibacy and offers an earnest wish that more people would follow his example.

1 Corinthians 7:8-9
8Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. 9But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

Paul concedes that getting married is better than struggling with sexual temptation; for those that “cannot control themselves, they should marry.”

Is Paul completely opposed to marriage? Not at all. The book of Hebrews states:

Hebrews 13:4
Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.

Why then does Paul recommend celibacy?

1 Corinthians 7:32-35
32I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord. 33But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— 34and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. 35I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.

From this passage, we can see Paul’s primary reason for advocating celibacy: he wants everyone to live in undivided devotion to the Lord, and in all of these verses, the Bible makes it clear that Jesus calls some men to the priesthood and offers them the gift of a celibate life to be lived in undivided devotion to God. Paul understands that not everyone is offered this gift and that not all to whom it is offered can or will accept it.

There are Catholic priests who are married; typically, these are men who were priests in the Anglican, Orthodox or other faith traditions and have converted to the Catholic faith after they were married in those churches. Under special circumstances, they may be ordained to serve as Catholic priests. Men who are already Catholic when they begin to discern their call to the priesthood must remain celibate.

[Cn persona Christi* (in the place of Christ) when administering the sacraments as priests, be like their Lord as fully OLOR=black]The Catholic Church forbids no man to marry. However, she does desire that those who will represent Christ, who will stand *ias possible. This means that like Jesus, they are celibate men prepared to sacrifice their own lives in the service of God and others. *

The calling and the gift is offered by God; those who choose to accept it do so freely. Here is an article, “Celibacy is a Gift”, that explains this more fully: catholic.com/thisrock/2001/0102fea5.asp

A question if I may.Men administering the sacrements should be celibate as Jesus was.What then happens when an already married man , perhaps an Anglican becomes a Catholic priest? Is his role as a priest limited in any way, for example he does not administer the sacrements or is he expected to live a celibate life ? We have had a former Anglican priest become a Catholic priest recently in my part of the world and I have wondered about this very issue. I look forward to your explanation.NLM

 

[Zooey]

Because Sacred Scripture says “Simon’s mother-in-law” (Lk 4:38), but never mentions Simon Peters’ wife, why do some people jump to the conclusion that Peter left his wife?

i am a sinner and a fool, but i bet his wife died and he was a widower!

If she lived, Scripture would have surely mentioned how Peter left his wife to follow Jesus.

Since Jesus said “So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder.” (Mt 19:6) Granted, Jesus is God so He could have called Peter to leave his wife, but it surely would have been recorded in Scripture if that were the case.

Sancta Maria, Mater Dei, Ora Pro Nobis Peccatoribus!

mark

The very fact that Peter’s mother-in-law, not his wife, was clearly in charge of housekeeping for him in the verse you reference, seems to me to say that his wife was no longer living.

 

[bmadamsberry]

A question if I may.Men administering the sacrements should be celibate as Jesus was.What then happens when an already married man , perhaps an Anglican becomes a Catholic priest? Is his role as a priest limited in any way, for example he does not administer the sacrements or is he expected to live a celibate life ? We have had a former Anglican priest become a Catholic priest recently in my part of the world and I have wondered about this very issue. I look forward to your explanation.NLM

A married priest in the Catholic church may still have a sex life.
However, yes, he is limited in many ways. When I was Protestant I often saw my pastor have to make many difficult decisions, such as at his daughter’s graduation he had to decide wheather to leave because he found out (by way of his beeper) that one of the members of his church had to be rushed to the hospital. Furthermore, a Priest has many other duties that a Protestant pastor does not. Many married Catholic Priests have written about how they agree that to be unmarried and a priest is better than a priest that is married.
I agree with them. Instead of having to choose between your family and the Church, your family is the Church. Every Priest, in a way, is married… to the Church, and his children are the Parishoners.

 

[Randy_Carson]

A question if I may.Men administering the sacrements should be celibate as Jesus was.What then happens when an already married man , perhaps an Anglican becomes a Catholic priest? Is his role as a priest limited in any way, for example he does not administer the sacrements or is he expected to live a celibate life ? We have had a former Anglican priest become a Catholic priest recently in my part of the world and I have wondered about this very issue. I look forward to your explanation.NLM

The answer lies in the way you framed the question…

Priests are male as Jesus was male…they do not necessarily have to be celibate/unmarried males. Thus, priests may be married as is common in the Orthodox Church (which has valid orders) and in other rites of the Catholic Church.

If it were not so, Jesus would not/could not have made Peter a priest by commanding him (among the other apostles at the last supper) to “Do this in memory of me.”

It is Church discipline that priests must (normatively) remain unmarried in the Latin rite. It is Church doctrine that priests must be male in all rites. Discipline can be relaxed or changed; doctrine cannot.

Hope that helps.

 

[carmelaltarboy]

"Our Pastors as you know can marry if they wish and most are.I look forward to hearing what the difference is. NLM "

I think the point is moot. Since you subjigate the Churchs’ authority because of your own wishes, nothing else matters. The fact that a man protests (protestant) and defines himself as such, precludes him from seeking truth lest it agree with him…

I do not recall any part of the bible nor the early church fathers that claim disobedience or heresy to be a positive atribute. That being said once you admit that there is no authority, then you can do as you wish. So, go for it!

 

[nlm]

"Our Pastors as you know can marry if they wish and most are.I look forward to hearing what the difference is. NLM "

I think the point is moot. Since you subjigate the Churchs’ authority because of your own wishes, nothing else matters. The fact that a man protests (protestant) and defines himself as such, precludes him from seeking truth lest it agree with him…

I do not recall any part of the bible nor the early church fathers that claim disobedience or heresy to be a positive atribute. That being said once you admit that there is no authority, then you can do as you wish. So, go for it!

It amazes me how unkind and disrespectful some people can be. I can’t help but ask myself if it because I am a FORMER catholic or if it is because I am protestant.I was under the understanding this forum was to ask legitimate questions no matter what religious affiliation one had or no affiliation at all. Being answered this way is a bit discouraging to say the least.I will pray that OUR brother Jesus will grant you patience and understanding when dealing with individuals who may not share your beliefs.NLM

 

[carmelaltarboy]

No, I am just saying that you are not responsible to the Holy See, the Chair of Peter or the consgtancy of the Church or the communion of saints. You are free to do as you wish. You aren’t required. My point was since you aren’t following the Church on whatever points you choose (as protestants) your experience is different than that of a Catholic experience. I am not trying to be unkind or disrespectful. All I am pointing out is that because we don’t follow the same set of Traditions, it is moot to talk about how we differ. The rest of the posts were directed at how eastern rite priests could marry while romans could not (both being subject to the Pope). Your faith is not in communion with the Pope and that is why it is moot.

Please do not look for issues or reasons to be offended. The purpose of my remarks is that NLM is NOT a part of the Church. It is its’ own proper group. Do not be offended by the fact that you have parted ways with Rome and someone uses that point to explain why it is that your experience is moot because of it. As a site called “Catholic Answers”, you would expect it to be centered around the Catholic Church.

 

[nlm]

No, I am just saying that you are not responsible to the Holy See, the Chair of Peter or the consgtancy of the Church or the communion of saints. You are free to do as you wish. You aren’t required. My point was since you aren’t following the Church on whatever points you choose (as protestants) your experience is different than that of a Catholic experience. I am not trying to be unkind or disrespectful. All I am pointing out is that because we don’t follow the same set of Traditions, it is moot to talk about how we differ. The rest of the posts were directed at how eastern rite priests could marry while romans could not (both being subject to the Pope). Your faith is not in communion with the Pope and that is why it is moot.

Please do not look for issues or reasons to be offended. The purpose of my remarks is that NLM is NOT a part of the Church. It is its’ own proper group. Do not be offended by the fact that you have parted ways with Rome and someone uses that point to explain why it is that your experience is moot because of it. As a site called “Catholic Answers”, you would expect it to be centered around the Catholic Church.

My question IS centered around the Catholic church is it not. You are refusing to answer it saying basically it’s none of my business as I am not part of the catholic church anymore. My original question was this. Perhaps others will see fit to explain.A married man can’t become a priest, that I know. I have heard the reasons for that and weather or not I agree with them is not important. How is it then that a married priest in another denomination can become a priest in the catholic church and keep his wife? The second part of my original question was. Are the duties and responsabilities of this married priest in the catholic church limited or different then that of a non-married priest? Seems pretty simple to me.NLM

 

[mackbrislawn]

My question IS centered around the Catholic church is it not. You are refusing to answer it saying basically it’s none of my business as I am not part of the catholic church anymore. My original question was this. Perhaps others will see fit to explain.A married man can’t become a priest, that I know. I have heard the reasons for that and weather or not I agree with them is not important. How is it then that a married priest in another denomination can become a priest in the catholic church and keep his wife? The second part of my original question was. Are the duties and responsabilities of this married priest in the catholic church limited or different then that of a non-married priest? Seems pretty simple to me.NLM

You do have a legitimate question–there does seem to be an inconsistency in standards.

I don’t know the official answer to the question, but I suppose it could be that it wouldn’t be seemly for a priest to be on the hunt for a wife among the flock!* Checking out the babes.** A married priest from another denomination of course isn’t looking for a wife, because he already has one.* For the same reason, widowed priests and deacons cannot remarry. “…they must be the husband of one wife.”

Widowed men may be ordained, and in my opinion, more of them should be.

There is another, practical, reason for celibacy, in additonal to the scriptural encouragment for it: An officially celibate clergy prevents the offices of the church from being inherited. If clergy do not marry they hence cannot have legitimate offspring, and therefore church offices cannot be bequeathed to them. Clergy, then, have to be recruited from the general population, and not from an hereditary priestly class.

In regards to the duties of a married priest, I would imagine they would be the same as for an unmarried priest, in additon to the duties he owes to his family.

 

[nlm]

You do have a legitimate question–there does seem to be an inconsistency in standards.

I don’t know the official answer to the question, but I suppose it could be that it wouldn’t be seemly for a priest to be on the hunt for a wife among the flock!* Checking out the babes.** A married priest from another denomination of course isn’t looking for a wife, because he already has one.* For the same reason, widowed priests and deacons cannot remarry. “…they must be the husband of one wife.”

Widowed men may be ordained, and in my opinion, more of them should be.

There is another, practical, reason for celibacy, in additonal to the scriptural encouragment for it: An officially celibate clergy prevents the offices of the church from being inherited. If clergy do not marry they hence cannot have legitimate offspring, and therefore church offices cannot be bequeathed to them. Clergy, then, have to be recruited from the general population, and not from an hereditary priestly class.

In regards to the duties of a married priest, I would imagine they would be the same as for an unmarried priest, in additon to the duties he owes to his family.

Thank you for the attempt at answering my question. My wife and I were married in the Catholic church by a priest who had been married for many years, had two grown children and his wife died. It was great as he could REALLY relate when he was approached by parishioners who were having marital problems or problems with their children etc.When he said I know what you mean he REALLY did know what we meant. He was a wonderful man who has gone on now. It was my understanding that years ago, when a married priest from the Anglican church for instance became a Catholic priest and had a wife prior to becoming Catholic he could not do parochial work.He had do do chaplancy in a hospital, nursing home or perhaps a prison etc. Or he was asked to do clerical work for the diocese etc. This may not be correct but it was my understanding a few yeras.NLM ago.NLM

 

[rinnie]

Because Sacred Scripture says “Simon’s mother-in-law” (Lk 4:38), but never mentions Simon Peters’ wife, why do some people jump to the conclusion that Peter left his wife?

i am a sinner and a fool, but i bet his wife died and he was a widower!

If she lived, Scripture would have surely mentioned how Peter left his wife to follow Jesus.

Since Jesus said “So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder.” (Mt 19:6) Granted, Jesus is God so He could have called Peter to leave his wife, but it surely would have been recorded in Scripture if that were the case.

Sancta Maria, Mater Dei, Ora Pro Nobis Peccatoribus!

mark

Yes I was always taught he was a widow. And I agree. It never talks about Peters wife its his Mother-in-Law.

 

[carmelaltarboy]

My question IS centered around the Catholic church is it not. You are refusing to answer it saying basically it’s none of my business as I am not part of the catholic church anymore. My original question was this. Perhaps others will see fit to explain.A married man can’t become a priest, that I know. I have heard the reasons for that and weather or not I agree with them is not important. How is it then that a married priest in another denomination can become a priest in the catholic church and keep his wife? The second part of my original question was. Are the duties and responsabilities of this married priest in the catholic church limited or different then that of a non-married priest? Seems pretty simple to me.NLM

Ok. Here goes. The Pope, the servant of the servant of God, made it so. It is the "T"radition of the Church. I am not saying this flippantly. I genuinely mean this. In order to be “Katholou” we have to stick to the teaching and are unable to vary without the Church as a whole which is the Pope together with all of the bishops or the Pope speaking ex cathedra, since he alone has been given the keys of St. Peter.

If for your second question you are referring to an anglican priest, as an example becoming a catholic and asking for holy orders and being granted them, I think it is a practical matter. I have been told that these individuals are not given their own parish, rather they work within a parish. Now, I believe it is somewhat a practical point. In this specific case, the indivdual has been a priest as his career. Would it seem sometimes practical and for good reason (this is not always the case that such an individual would be granted holy orders) then the hierarchy may alow it on a case by case basis. Often times it has to do with a larger issue, say an entire church converting over to catholicism.

It was never my intention to offend you. I am very protective of our holy mother the Church. I want to make certain that you are aware that we can choose to discuss what we like but when the rubber meets the road we are behind our priest, bishops, cardinals and of course principally, our Pope. I jalso knew the answer included items that of course you would find more contentious such as the Pope and “Katholou”.

 

[nevadagardener]

I am not a theologian, nor any kind of Church authority.

But let me give it a shot, condensing everything that everyone has already explained, some very eloquently.

Saint Peter was the first believer, and the first convert. Peter came with a wife. Jesus did not undo any promises Peter had already made to his vows to his wife and to God, by insisting he abandon his wife. By abandoning her, should she decide to remarry, he would have been a party to her committing adultery. Jesus states pretty clearly to the rich man (as well as to the Apostles and to all of us) that he had to keep the commandments (one of which was to not commit adultery, or essentially, to not make your spouse commit it, as together you are One Flesh, having made that vow to each other and to God). And He told him to give up his earthly possessions, donate them, and follow Him, if he wanted to choose a “perfect” life.

Both Jesus and Saint Paul very patiently explain their reasons as to why those who choose to become members of the priesthood must choose between two masters, as they cannot serve both WELL. Their illustrations are that one or the other would suffer, as would the poor soul trying to please both. First, their discernment to follow a life of the priesthood is a gift that is granted them, that not just everyone receives. Second, it is a choice, as already Catholic, that they make consciously, beforehand, freely, and happily. They know the rules in advance. And Heaven wants us to be happy in our roles.

The new converts, then as now, did not anticipate that later in life (when earlier they had chosen marriage in another faith), that they would one day choose Catholicism and be desirous of a similar role in the Catholic Church. These new converts are grandfathered in the same solution as Peter and the others did merit in their conversion.

I cannot speak for the Church as to exactly how their roles differ as married priests. Someone else, please jump in. But both Saint Paul and Jesus make it clear that it will be much harder for these, as others have demonstrated already in this thread. Some choose it anyway. How admirable.

It is the desire of Heaven that we all be reunited in the One True Faith that Jesus Himself started. It is the hope of everyone on these threads to teach you and make you think. If you don’t choose to rejoin us in this life, Heaven is determined to teach you in the next, and it will take as long as it takes to bring you to full understanding. They have Eternity on Their Side, after all. Everyone has the responsibility to themselves to learn as much as they can about the truth, especially as to what Jesus taught and lived, while on Earth. Hope we can help you along the way! Hope to see you there!

 

[StillWondering]

This is merely my observations. It seems to be the case that priests that are married before converting to Catholicism and are participating in Latin Rite parishes do not serve as pastors or other higher pastoral roles. They are there as assistants. A pastor has quite a big work load at a parish so this is quite logical. But I think the real reason is more then just human limitations, since to God all things are possible. It would seem than, that if this observation is true, it shows that the married priests have other concerns to deal with as well and so cannot easily fulfill full pastoral roles. I hope this personal observation helps out.

 

[carmelaltarboy]

This is merely my observations. It seems to be the case that priests that are married before converting to Catholicism and are participating in Latin Rite parishes do not serve as pastors or other higher pastoral roles. They are there as assistants. A pastor has quite a big work load at a parish so this is quite logical. But I think the real reason is more then just human limitations, since to God all things are possible. It would seem than, that if this observation is true, it shows that the married priests have other concerns to deal with as well and so cannot easily fulfill full pastoral roles. I hope this personal observation helps out.

There are Ukraninan Catholics in my family. Their priest is married, as is allowed by their rite. Unfortunately this poor man has to make a living, act as pastor and tend to his family. Try that one on for size. We complain about getting time with our priest…how would you like this scenario in your parish…I think it is too much to ask of a man…

 

[nlm]

I am not a theologian, nor any kind of Church authority.

But let me give it a shot, condensing everything that everyone has already explained, some very eloquently.

Saint Peter was the first believer, and the first convert. Peter came with a wife. Jesus did not undo any promises Peter had already made to his vows to his wife and to God, by insisting he abandon his wife. By abandoning her, should she decide to remarry, he would have been a party to her committing adultery. Jesus states pretty clearly to the rich man (as well as to the Apostles and to all of us) that he had to keep the commandments (one of which was to not commit adultery, or essentially, to not make your spouse commit it, as together you are One Flesh, having made that vow to each other and to God). And He told him to give up his earthly possessions, donate them, and follow Him, if he wanted to choose a “perfect” life.

Both Jesus and Saint Paul very patiently explain their reasons as to why those who choose to become members of the priesthood must choose between two masters, as they cannot serve both WELL. Their illustrations are that one or the other would suffer, as would the poor soul trying to please both. First, their discernment to follow a life of the priesthood is a gift that is granted them, that not just everyone receives. Second, it is a choice, as already Catholic, that they make consciously, beforehand, freely, and happily. They know the rules in advance. And Heaven wants us to be happy in our roles.

The new converts, then as now, did not anticipate that later in life (when earlier they had chosen marriage in another faith), that they would one day choose Catholicism and be desirous of a similar role in the Catholic Church. These new converts are grandfathered in the same solution as Peter and the others did merit in their conversion.

I cannot speak for the Church as to exactly how their roles differ as married priests. Someone else, please jump in. But both Saint Paul and Jesus make it clear that it will be much harder for these, as others have demonstrated already in this thread. Some choose it anyway. How admirable.

It is the desire of Heaven that we all be reunited in the One True Faith that Jesus Himself started. It is the hope of everyone on these threads to teach you and make you think. If you don’t choose to rejoin us in this life, Heaven is determined to teach you in the next, and it will take as long as it takes to bring you to full understanding. They have Eternity on Their Side, after all. Everyone has the responsibility to themselves to learn as much as they can about the truth, especially as to what Jesus taught and lived, while on Earth. Hope we can help you along the way! Hope to see you there!

Please allow me to use this thread to respond to those who offered an explanation on this topic.Thank you.It does shed some light on the subject. Your closing statement says that these threads are here to make us think and to help us understand.You are so right and that is all I have ever tried to accomplish. We have so much in common as so much of what we don’t REALLY does not matter in the overall grand scheme of things. As for the time requirements for a priest or a pastor or for a rabbi etc. Yes indeed there are NEVER enough hours in the day for any of them. NOT to be critical of priest not marrying but to simply explain that our pastors, who do marry carry out their vocation well.Are they perfect, I would suggest not BUT as I said before,being married does give them a different NOT better but different perspective on some of the matters they are called on to councel almost daily.Having felt the call to priesthood at one point in my life, and NOT to suggest marriage was the only reason I did not persue the vocation, I can’t help but ask myself if more young men would choose the priesthood if they knew they could live their life as a couple.Yes, I understand they make an informed decision at the time but again having worked and worshipped and spent countless hours with priests both in parishes and in monasteries, many ,NOT ALL did say if life could repeat itself, they would not necessarely make the same choice today. Marriage was usually BUT NOT always the reason. This made me very sad for them who felt somewhat trapped. I will repeat what I said a few minutes ago.THESE WERE A FEW PRIESTS iI know NOT ALL. A question has just come to me. I am wondering if you, the participants in this thread think the ability to marry would mean more priests? Interesting question.I look forward to more dialogue.And thank you again for your answers on this topic.

 

[nevadagardener]

I understand your writings. I, too, was married for 25 years, but my family life was taken from me and I miss them and the life we had together. I am not one of those who was designed for a singular life. I love the family life. For now, I will be content that it is all a part of Heaven’s plan. I do not know what awaits me in this new phase of my life. I am open to what Heaven presents, for whatever they are preparing me to do.

So I understand the argument that more men might become priests if it included a family life. For those Catholics wishing to serve who want to be part of a family, Jesus understands that they would be torn, and encourages them to serve in other ways. (However, as Peter provided the role model for those already marrieds converting from other faiths to join the priesthood, the Church “grandfathers” them in, by Jesus’s example of allowing the Apostles and others to bring their wives with His Ministry. Please do not try to make your own interpretations about Peter’s wife. The fact that Peter was made to watch while she was crucified first, and shouted encouragement to her to remember Our Lord, is documented in historical writings and traditions.) I don’t have time to track them all down now, but there is a little thing called “Google” that gets you started on some pretty good leads. Several even give her name(s), as I recall.

Choosing the priesthood, as a lifelong vocation, is a choice not to be made lightly. Many people might have chosen differently in many of life’s paths if they would have waited it out, listening to their hearts, over a longer period of time. However, in talking to many close confidants, those single Catholic men truly desiring to be priests are not so concerned about being denied married life. They understand their role. I was surprised to hear this, but they truly understand what they are undertaking. They want for the Greater Good.

Those choosing to be part of families can be involved in the Church in so many ways … do not think about how to limit yourselves, but participate in the Church with your best selves, from the best of your experiences! Choose to be involved in roles that provide teaching, leadership with the youth programs, Catechism, couples counseling, the Mass, fundraising, getting out the bulletin … the roles are too many to list here. Just as one day there will be a place for you in Heaven, there is also a predestined role for you on Earth, and your job is to discern it. Those who discern the priesthood in their various stages of life are being granted a gift, those discerning service in other ways are also being given gifts, each to serve in his/her best capacity from his/her life experiences. Those choosing the brotherhood and sisterhood also choose carefully, having made a decision that the family life is not for them, and to serve the much larger family of Heaven. It’s all in how you see it!

 

[KyivAndrew]

There are Ukraninan Catholics in my family. Their priest is married, as is allowed by their rite. Unfortunately this poor man has to make a living, act as pastor and tend to his family. Try that one on for size. We complain about getting time with our priest…how would you like this scenario in your parish…I think it is too much to ask of a man…

Not really. In my experience with many Ukrainian Catholic priests; I am Ukrainian Catholic; our priests are just as “Catholic” as the celibate “Roman Catholic” priest. The Ukr. Catholic priest’s wife is called “Pani Dobrodiyka”, meaning Good Lady, as she can assist with Sunday school and parish life as well. 2 for 1 for work for the Church. You will find in most Ukrainian Catholic parishes very active priests’ wives helping the parish along. This has always been my experience. Our bishops though at times, as late as the 80s, met with resistance from the Vatican to consecrating married priests, and for no good reason other than to draw our rite closer to the Latin.. Our church as an Eastern Catholic Church had been agreed to keep this ancient rite of our church and be in full communion with Rome.

You may also find a Ukrainian Catholic married priest quite understanding of the problems parishioners may have with children should he have children.

The one thing I can say, and this may be irrelevant to our priests being married, is that we never underwent the harrowing scandals the Roman Catholics have had to endure of late. Our priests and hierarchy came off very well in their dealings with children. This may just be a coincidence however but one should always take everything into account.

God Bless and I sincerely hope I have not offended anyone but merely wished to point out some issues. If I am wrong in certain assertions, please correct me.