i see, well i understand how you feel, although i have a different mental defect(not nearly as troublesome) i still know how frustrating it feels, it’s hard, but you need to understand that God is all fair, He knows of your problems, and He takes them into account, he will not judge you unfairly, if your confused about something or really unsure, He knows, and He also knows your true intentions, and even if you didn’t make a perfect confession, God knows your true desires, and will forgive you still, because it’s not the words you say that make Him forgive you, it’s the action and the intention, and the sorrow and regret for your sins, of course what you say and how you say it is important in confession, but if you make mistakes, God understands, He knows all, and He loves you very much, and He longs to forgive you more then you know,
if you feel you have not made a good a confession as you think you could have, then afterwards, just pray to God to help you make a better one next time, He will not reject your request.
the thing of it is, if you honestly don’t know if you committed a mortal sin, then chances are you didn’t, because in order to commit a mortal sin, you need to have full consent to it, meaning you thought about it, knew it would be a sin, and decided to do it anyways,
you will be pleasing to God as long as you keep trying, don’t let anything or anyone stop you from reaching your goal, even if it takes you your entire life, God is pleased with perseverance very much,
try reading the lives of the saints and follow their examples and advice, read the books they have written, and most of all, read about the life of Jesus, learn to know and love Him, when you learn to love Him, it will be much easier for you to change your life and your mindset, and never stop trying to love Him more, your love for Him will never stop growing,
if you want some help, i can show you a book i think will help most for you to start living each day how you should, doing Gods will, and not being a slave to your human nature anymore.
and also a book(well, a set of books) on the life of Jesus and biblical revelations, which i think will help you to know and love Jesus more.
tanbooks.com/index.php/page/shop:flypage/product_id/610/keywords/anne+catherine+emmerich/
catholicfreeshipping.com/Products/cfs_gensym-152.html
also, for your mental illnesses, a very good saint to pray to is saint Dymphna,
here’s a prayer i pray all the time from the “Catholic Prayers” booklet, which you can also find on
tanbooks.com
O Lord, God, Who has graciously chosen St. Dymphna to be the patroness of those afflicted with mental and nervous disorders, and has caused her to an inspiration and a symbol of charity to the thousands who invoke her intercession, grant, through the prayers of this pure, youthful martyr, relief and consolation to all who suffer from these disturbances, and especially to those for whom we now pray.
(Here mention those for whom you wish to pray.)
We beg You to accept and to satisfy the prayers of St. Dymphna on our behalf. Grant us patience in all our sufferings and resignation to Thy Divine Will. Fill us with hope and, if it be in accord with Thy Divine Plan, bestow upon me(him, her) the cure I so earnestly ask for. Through Christ, our Lord, Amen.
alright, i hope this all helps you, i just wanted try and help somehow because i know(at least partly) how you’re feeling.