Same Sex attraction struggles

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sammy

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Hey all: Asking prayers for my soul and my commitment to the church. I am a cradle Catholic, born and raised, and in good standing with the Church. I have dealt with same sex attraction most of my adult life and am really struggling tonight. I feel incredibly sad that I am called to a life of chastity, and cannot ever have a family of my own with someone I am romantically in love with or really even am attracted to. It is an incredibly hard cross to bear, and I would appreciate any and all spiritual help you all can give me. God bless and thanks in advance.
 
Sammy, I’m sorry you’re struggling and sad. If you can, spend some time before the Blessed Sacrament to help ease your soul. I am praying for you.
 
Remember,
O most gracious Virgin Mary that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection, Implored your help, or sought your intercession, was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly to you, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother.
To you do I come, before you I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in Thy mercy hear and answer me, Amen.
 
sammy said:
am really struggling tonight. I feel incredibly sad that I am called to a life of chastity, and cannot ever have a family of my own with someone I am romantically in love with or really even am attracted to. It is an incredibly hard cross to bear
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I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I’ll be praying for you. May the dear Lord bless and keep you, now and always
 
Sammy stay strong. I know temptations in life can be very difficult. I will pray for your continued strength and faith to walk in Christ.

Lord, please bless Sammy and help Sammy to continue to be strong and walk in you. Help Sammy spread the good news of your blessings so that many will be rewarded as a true steward of Christ. I ask this in your name, Jesus Amen!
 
Dear Sammy,
There are homosexual men in heterosexual marriages having families and being faithful. They chose to get excited about the whole picture of Family.
Ask WHAT IS LUST?
WHAT IS LOVE?
They’re coming up w a theory that when in early embryonic state w neural tube still partly opened, the hormones can contact the open brain and affect its sexual orientation. I don’t know…
maybe??
One life, one death, one Ressurection.
REINCARNATION not our theology. Lots of evidence for it??? Does Satan have power to give us memories of someone else’s life??
If Real, what if, in a previous life, you were a guy. Your not suppose to recall previous lives. But, if you were a guy, you’d be attracted to girls in a girl’s body. BUT, a person was placed in this new body to learn things in this new body. We must live in the body pattern we are in.
Now, attraction— there is a science w pheromones, etc. Sometimes, we are lonely. The other person has a Spirit that connects to yours in friendship. Girls were great friends and roommates and buddies and not have sex…
A brain can be trained. It’s a heck of a lot easier than body mutilation.
Saying profane words can be stopped w discipline. It took awhile but w God’s grace, I am mostly victorious. Don’t say name of the Lord in vain. I didn’t have a problem w GD. But, I’d pop out Jesus, if hurt. So, I made my expletives prayer. Jesus bless me. Car rage- no problem but I’ll pray for the bad driver instead of swearing. Dear God help us be safe from bad driver. Send them Wisdom and compassion for others. Now, my husband has an Irish litany. These are all struggles.
PORNOGRAPHY, DRUGS AND SMOKING are all difficult but can be disciplined away, one incident at a time. I’ll put that book, drug, or cigarette down, just this one timefor 1 hour., etc…
Our body is a temple of the Holy Spirit and we should love it and care for it.
Put sex in its perspective! IT IS FOR PROCREATION! Now, there is a fun factor that’s what draws a husband and wife to PROCREATE. So after menapause should we not have sex??? Pope John Paul II states we can enjoy sex. We should live to have many children but working Moms can’t. Finances, etc.
if married, one can have romantic feelings come through, BUT, you’re not near spouse! We can be uncomfortable till home. Maybe it will be gone by then? HAHA.
There are physiological factors besides pheromones. Strong Blood circulation to pelvic area has more romantic feelings. The ppl can be given pills to decrease blood flow. Anatomical placement can make things troublesome for some ppl.
I have to do this in 2 parts. It goes over allowed texts.
In Christ’s Love
Tweedlealice
 
I admire your strength. It’s incredibly courageous to wake up every morning and pursue a life of celibacy. The apostle Paul was single and God still loved him. The same is true for you.

I pray that God continues to grant you courage and strength. Amen.
 
Second part
Sammy, We are Kings kids. Our bodies are Temples of the Holy Spirit. God loans our body to us. We are to keep it pure in mind, body, soul and Spirit. Over your short life, you have heard ppl talk about sex. Movies, BooksTV programs are contaminated. In teens, it’s a topic of speech and a topic for experimentation. Teen girls are treasures and should be kept in towers of beauty. Below the tower are Knights w hormones raging. It affects their brain. Young boys don’t know how to love. Everyone starts thinking sharing bodies is love, until the next one. Broken hearts and friendships.
Don’t watch programs or read books that show life styles that are sinful.
Retrain your brain. It is hard work. Get a calendar of NY FIREMAN. Study the refined abdominal muscles. They can be a thing of beauty. Watch Christian romance movies. Get PURE FLIX on phone for $9.00/mo. Let LIFESTYLE ATTRACT YOU. A warm, heterosexual family w children. So instead of visualizing acts w SS person, you think of full family package. We are givenSELF-CONTROL by the Holy Spirit.
Arranged marriages start out as friends. See FIDDLER ON ROOF. Life can be simple or complex. God, I’m in this body. I will live this life. We all have longings for something. Offer up sufferings for souls in Purgatory. Children running into your arms. Replaces loneliness of single life. If I see a NY FIREMAN, I sigh and say Phooey. I’m 70 yo now. Choices. Committment to God. Heterosexual romance and acts can be pleasant if not explosive. Being good by Gods standards makes you feel goid.
I guess it’s like playacting a heterosexual life w family. It can work. Just thoughts for you to think about.
Look up Sts. Anthony and Joseph’s purity prayers. Matthew 11. Jeremiah 29/11.
St. Teresa’s prayer is great.

STUFF HAPPENS, PRESS ON, GET OVER IT! GOD IS GOOD. Our BFF.

Let nothing disturb you,
Let nothing frighten you,
All things are passing away:
God never changes.
Patience obtains all things
Whoever has God lacks nothing;
God alone suffices.

– St. Teresa of Avila
 
Not sure what category my advice might fall into. Are you male or female? I am Assuming female. my perspective on SSA is from a male perspective, and I understand it’s different for women. But Something critical I discovered is that I do need to form friends, relationships with the same sex. Not exclusive, or sexual relationships, or marriage, but for securing my connection to my own gender, and my own emotional needs, I need them. It’s not sex, and I’m happy with that, because relationships can be incredibly intimate and joyful, without being homosexual in nature. The take away is, not every aspect of “SSA”, is homosexual attraction, and it shouldn’t be all ignored. And you needn’t live a lonely life. I think saying “SSA”, is confusing, because there are many types of attraction. Not all attractions to people of the same sex are sexual, and therefore objectively disorderd.
I recently came upon this website and thought it was really smart: What We Do — The 4T's
It’s about men though.

I also think that reparative therapy( Joseph Nicolosi’s work), is worth looking into, if not the therapy just the reading materials. I’ve thought carefully about this, and while it is politically incorrect of course, I found his latest published book(Shame and Attachment Loss: The Practical Work of Reparative Therapy) incredibly applicable to my own life, and I attribute the traumatic experiences of people who went through this therapy to poor practice and misconceptions. It is not a garunteed total change of sexuality, and it respects the decisions of the people in it, and it is anti shame. It’s about developing emotional maturity, self assertion, gender identification, overcoming shame, and facing grief.
But again, it’s about men, but Janelle Hallman’s The Heart of Female Same-Sex Attraction is also a popular book, recomended by Nicolosi, though I have not read it.

I don’t think you should rush into a marriage(with the opposite sex), of course, but If you find some healing, and actually fall in love with someone, it may well happen.
But just remember a life of celibacy)if that ends up happening) doesn’t mean loneliness. It doesn’t mean no affection, it doesn’t mean no intimacy. The sexual embrace is obviously reserved for marriage, but that is not the only way people can love eachother.
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Remember,
O most gracious Virgin Mary that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection, Implored your help, or sought your intercession, was left unaided. inspired by this confidence, I fly to you, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. to you do I come, before you I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in Thy mercy hear and answer me, Amen ✝️
 
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