Same sex dating

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polishprincess

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Hi.
i was wondering if it still would be sinful to date the same sex without having an intimate relationship?
 
Depending on how you define “date”, I think you have your answer. You could basically ask the same question in a heterosexual context where one or more parties are married, and the answer would be exactly the same (though your original question may also defy the natural law, again, depending on what you mean by “date”).
 
bbentrup said:
Depending on how you define “date”, I think you have your answer. You could basically ask the same question in a heterosexual context where one or more parties are married, and the answer would be exactly the same (though your original question may also defy the natural law, again, depending on what you mean by “date”).
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thank you for your reply 🙂
for example, like you would have a chaste relationship with a man.
i guess living together but having separate rooms would be considered sinful.
 
As the CAF answer from Bookcat illustrates, dating is really meant to be discernment for marriage, which is not possible for two people of the same sex. So what would be the point of dating?

But, of course, all people (including those with same sex attraction) need good friendships with people of the same sex. And friendship does often involve shared activities. But what good would come from calling it “dating”?
 
in all honestly, do homosexuals actually date?

For that matter, how many heterosexuals actually date too anymore 😦

To me, real dating does NOT include sex. Dating is two people meeting at a set time & date to get to know one another. A set date & time for a movie, dinner, or a dance.

It’s not the same as “hooking up.” Couples who are having sex don’t typically go on “dates” with one another. They migh have what the call a “date night” from time to time, but that’s not the same thing as dating.

From what I know about homosexual relationships, sexual activity happens from the start. And unfortuanatly, many hetrosexual realtionships these days start out with hooking up or a “night cap” is introduced into the date.
 
If you’re struggling with SSA, your friendships with people of the same sex shouldn’t consist of a lot of one-on-one time with another person who also has SSA. Find some friends who aren’t sexually attracted to you.
 
In addition to my post above: forums.catholic-questions.org/showpost.php?p=12239719&postcount=4

Friendship I believe is key for a person with SSA (it is important too for those of us without SSA).

2359 Homosexual persons are called to chastity. By the virtues of self-mastery that teach them inner freedom, at times by the support of disinterested friendship, by prayer and sacramental grace, they can and should gradually and resolutely approach Christian perfection.

scborromeo.org/ccc/p3s2c2a6.htm#II
 
i was wondering if it was wrong to take the same sex out to a movie, dance and dinner…stuff like that.
 
polishprincess said:
i was wondering if it was wrong to take the same sex out to a movie, dance and dinner…stuff like that.
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And how did you analyze your question after Joe’s post:
As the CAF answer from Bookcat illustrates, dating is really meant to be discernment for marriage, which is not possible for two people of the same sex. So what would be the point of dating?
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Isn’t your question asked and answered? Or at least with the simplest of inferences? Unless your new post means they’re not dating, in which case Joe’s other answer applies?
But, of course, all people (including those with same sex attraction) need good friendships with people of the same sex. And friendship does often involve shared activities. But what good would come from calling it “dating”?
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I’m confused why you’re confused.
 
bbentrup said:
And how did you analyze your question after Joe’s post:

Isn’t your question asked and answered? Or at least with the simplest of inferences? Unless your new post means they’re not dating, in which case Joe’s other answer applies?

I’m confused why you’re confused.
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im not confused anymore.
i was not asking another question.
 
Bookcat said:
Catholic Answers Staff Apologist answer: forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?p=10859862&highlight=date#post10859862
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Joe_5859 said:
As the CAF answer from Bookcat illustrates, dating is really meant to be discernment for marriage, which is not possible for two people of the same sex. So what would be the point of dating?

But, of course, all people (including those with same sex attraction) need good friendships with people of the same sex. And friendship does often involve shared activities. But what good would come from calling it “dating”?
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I disagree with these viewpoints. So far as I know, dating as a precursor to marriage is not a doctrine promulgated through the Magisterium. But I am not a theologian.

Dating isn’t even necessary in the case of arranged marriages.

A date is simply two people enjoying each other’s company. I went on a lot of dates when I had absolutely no intention of marrying the other person. Furthermore, if you don’t date, your chances of finding a spouse are essentially zero.

So–you have to date to meet people and get to know people, but to date solely for the purpose of discerning marriage would lead to a whole lot of grumpy single people.

So–if someone with SSA wants to date someone with SSA, I don’t see anything wrong with it from my perspective as a Catholic. Personally, I don’t like it and don’t like to think about it, but those are my own misgivings and not based on the Christian morality of it.
 
polishprincess said:
i was wondering if it was wrong to take the same sex out to a movie, dance and dinner…stuff like that.
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I think that would be fine. It shouldn’t be romantic, I would say. But it’s fine to go out and have fun with a friend, and it’s fine to use whatever word you like to describe that. If you go to church and describe it as a “date”, however, you could be causing scandal. So you want to be modest in your speech about it – not only in public, but among yourselves too.

If it is the occasion of sin, don’t do it. But otherwise, I see no problem.
 
on_the_hill said:
I disagree with these viewpoints. So far as I know, dating as a precursor to marriage is not a doctrine promulgated through the Magisterium. But I am not a theologian.

Dating isn’t even necessary in the case of arranged marriages.

A date is simply two people enjoying each other’s company. I went on a lot of dates when I had absolutely no intention of marrying the other person. Furthermore, if you don’t date, your chances of finding a spouse are essentially zero.

So–you have to date to meet people and get to know people, but to date solely for the purpose of discerning marriage would lead to a whole lot of grumpy single people.

So–if someone with SSA wants to date someone with SSA, I don’t see anything wrong with it from my perspective as a Catholic. Personally, I don’t like it and don’t like to think about it, but those are my own misgivings and not based on the Christian morality of it.
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I don’t disagree with you. I’ve never seen a magisterial document talk about “dating” at all. 🙂

In my experience, though, most people I have come across use the word “dating” in reference to exclusive, romantic relationships. So that’s the definition I was going from.

In my younger years, I also did plenty of socializing with girls I was not discerning marriage with. I went out to movies or meals or hung out and played video games or even went to dances. But I never called them “dates” unless it was with a girl I was pursuing with an eye for vocational discernment in mind. 🤷
 
Joe_5859 said:
In my experience, though, most people I have come across use the word “dating” in reference to exclusive, romantic relationships. So that’s the definition I was going from.
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Or even non exclusive romantic events.
 
Prodigal_Son said:
I think that would be fine. It shouldn’t be romantic, I would say. But it’s fine to go out and have fun with a friend, and it’s fine to use whatever word you like to describe that. If you go to church and describe it as a “date”, however, you could be causing scandal. So you want to be modest in your speech about it – not only in public, but among yourselves too.

If it is the occasion of sin, don’t do it. But otherwise, I see no problem.
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The word dating has a bit of a different meaning for the under 30 crowd, it is quite a bit more informal than the last gasp of courtship that it was to the over 40 crowd.
 
Joe_5859 said:
I don’t disagree with you. I’ve never seen a magisterial document talk about “dating” at all. 🙂

In my experience, though, most people I have come across use the word “dating” in reference to exclusive, romantic relationships. So that’s the definition I was going from.

In my younger years, I also did plenty of socializing with girls I was not discerning marriage with. I went out to movies or meals or hung out and played video games or even went to dances. But I never called them “dates” unless it was with a girl I was pursuing with an eye for vocational discernment in mind. 🤷
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I can agree with that. 👍

If someone says, “We dated for a while,” or “I used to date him/her” it does tend to signify a more involved relationship.
 
polishprincess said:
i was wondering if it was wrong to take the same sex out to a movie, dance and dinner…stuff like that.
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I’ve got an idea. Why don’t you hang out with your friend at a movie or a restaurant, rather than date your friend?
 
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