Same-Sex Kissing

[greenrangerx]

So, I’m a gay man trying to live according to Church teaching. I know sex between two men is a sin, and I have no intention to do that ever again. However, I was wondering if there is any teaching on two men kissing? I have kissed other men before, and I don’t ever feel any guilt or conviction about it like I did when I would be sexually involved. I’m not sure if this is because it isn’t a sin or maybe it is a sin and I just don’t have a properly formed conscience. Any insights would be greatly appreciated

 

[Duesenberg]

So, I’m a gay man trying to live according to Church teaching. I know sex between two men is a sin, and I have no intention to do that ever again. However, I was wondering if there is any teaching on two men kissing? I have kissed other men before, and I don’t ever feel any guilt or conviction about it like I did when I would be sexually involved. I’m not sure if this is because it isn’t a sin or maybe it is a sin and I just don’t have a properly formed conscience. Any insights would be greatly appreciated

In public I find it to be quite disgusting. In any event, why would you want to kiss another man, given your positive efforts? I think the issue for you is that kissing another male might well put you in an occasion of sin.

 

[drac16]

In my opinion, it depends on where that kiss is placed. In some cultures, it’s normal for men to kiss each other on the cheek. In the Epistles, Paul tells people to greet each other with a holy kiss. Kissing on the lips is another thing altogether. That’s an intimate action, whereas a kiss on the cheek is more of a casual thing. I recommend avoiding kissing someone of the same-sex on the lips because that’s a homosexual act; and men who practice homosexuality will not inherit the Kingdom of God, according to 1 Corinthians 6.

 

[1neophyte]

 

[Benadam]

To what end is the kiss? if not sexual then I would say no. Also consider that it can be a sin if it becomes an occasion of near sin. I think like a previous poster said it would matter where I kissed.

 

[Gertabelle]

@greenrangerx

I love that you are questioning the spiritual value of certain actions in your life. We should all be doing that.

My own opinion is that kissing (i.e., making out) belongs to a relationship that is both intimate and exclusive. In my opinion, those actions would not be part of a friendship, but rather belong in the domain of romance. And if you’re trying to live by Church teaching, then romance between two members of the same sex is off limits.

As we so often say in the CA forums, you would do well to speak with your pastor about your struggles and desire for God.

God bless you!

 

[Joe_73]

Probably you don’t want to do this. Generally kissing is a sexual thing. and you need to draw the line somewhere withwhat kind of same sex affection is appropriate. I don’t think affection is wrong. Actually I think categorizing affection between males as “gay”, is a contributing factor to becoming gay. I spent so much of my life deprived of same sex affection and that made it easier for me to have gay fantasies. What affection is appropriate? well obviously sexual stimulation is not appropriate affection. but outside of that, you have to judge context. In our culture kissing basically is a statement that says “this is/will be a sexual relationship”, so your sending the wrong message to yourself and others. Also you could consider it lustfull, your using another guy visually and physically for your pleasure. I would seek out help, I got therapy with the help of the book Shame and Attachement loss: The Practical Work of Reparative Therapy. No Joke, its worth having, but our politically correct culture has labeled this kind of thing as dangerous, which I very much disagree with.

Some affection,like a handshake, is obviously ok. But in other circumstances, cuddling and the like, are questionable.
I would say that as you are starting out, excercise more caution, because you don’t know if you are doing something for sexual reasons or not, but If you get to a place where you have had significant healing from SSA’s, you can loosen your precautions a little bit. The important thing about non sexual affection with another man is you both need to be comfortable with it. If it’s just you who wants it, and the other guy is a bit uncomfortable, then you are using him.

And it’s better to be affectionate with straight guys then gay guys, because with a gay guy you might both be tempted to use eachother possibly taking it further. With a straight guy, you can leave it up to him to decide where the line is, which prevents you from using him. Getting to know totally straight men on an intimate(personal) level also has the benefit of reducing sexual attraction to men.