Same Sex Marriage

[bearkatjen]

Personally, if someone had thought our marriage was a mistake, I hoped they chose to stay at home. Perhaps this is why it is allowed to simply send regrets to a wedding invitation without being required to send an excuse?

Honestly, I guess I could say that, too: “Sally, if you or your parents had thought my marriage was a mistake, I think it would have been better if you had not attended my wedding, either.” So if a reason is not asked for, a reason does not have to be given.

This. I don’t know anyone who would want unsupportive people (family or not) at their wedding. Send you regrets, no explanation required, the end.

 

[Nec5]

Just don’t go and live with the fact that your niece will hate you for the rest of your sad and bitter life.

Pollyanna want a cracker?

 

[TheRealJuliane]

**I find it difficult to believe all the fear and rigidity demonstrated on this issue. **Yes the relationship is sinful, and you cannot support it. I think this is an excellent opportunity to engage in a dialog with your niece on your beliefs, why you believe them, and why they are important. It is absolutely NOT the time to be judgmental and “holy than thou.”

Attending a public ceremony may be viewed as a sign of approval, but if you look at the canons on marriage (not that they apply here, but it is the closest I can come to) the purpose of the other people at the ceremony (other than the presider, bride, and groom) is to be able to testify the event took place. That is why the others who attend are called witnesses and there is a requirement to have at least 2. Strictly speaking it is not to show approval or lack of approval.

When you eventually approach your niece and her family about this, remember when Jesus was found was with the prostitutes and tax collectors.

Some scribes who were Pharisees saw that he was eating with sinners and tax collectors and said to his disciples, “Why does he eat with tax collectors and sinners?” Jesus heard this and said to them, “Those who are well do not need a physician, but the sick do. I did not come to call the righteous but sinners.”(Mk 2:16-17)

*The Pharisees and their scribes complained to his disciples, saying, “Why do you eat and drink with tax collectors and sinners?” Jesus said to them in reply, “Those who are healthy do not need a physician, but the sick do. I have not come to call the righteous to repentance but sinners.” * (Lk 5:30-32)

You can love your niece, and even love her partner. You can express your disappointment at their choice to live in a sinful state. That does not mean you have to cut off contact with them, or pretend they don’t exist. Practicing the virtue of charity will go a lot farther in demonstrating to people you really believe what Jesus taught than anything else you can do. I hope if you approach your niece in charity, and explain your situation she will understand your reluctance to attend her event and respect your convictions.

Who here has said anything about being “afraid?” The “rigidity” (if you want to call it that) is knowing the difference between right and wrong. Also, no one said anything about cutting off contact with this niece or her partner, or pretending they don’t exist. Your hyperbole is completely off base.

 

[mgreen77]

Would you attend a hindu wedding? What about a Wiccan handfasting? Wouldn’t that also be “supporting” heretical beliefs?

What if the couple understood you were there because you love them, and not as evidence of your “support?”

 

[sw85]

I have a niece who has been living with her “partner” for several years. Her state has just legalized same sex “marriage” and it is possible that they will exercise this new “right.” If my wife and I were to get an invitation (and I pray we don’t) to the ceremony I believe that we cannot morally attend but my wife thinks we should attend to support my brother and his family who are practicing Catholics but we think they would in all likelihood attend their daughter’s union. Among the many issues here is the possibility of very deep family rifts. Your comments are welcomed.

You must do what is good. Attending that ceremony would not be good.

If rifts form as a result, it would be your family members’ fault (for not being accommodating of Catholic truths), not yours. It would be painful but you will simply have to deal with it.

Bad news sucks, I know. I will pray for you.

 

[MaryHelene]

If you choose not to attend, you are well within your rights. However, I would not get into a discussion or debate about it. RSVP “no.” Send along a card expressing your love and prayers and best wishes. You don’t have to say anything about the union, only that “We love you and wish you all the very best. You are both in our thoughts and prayers.” Send a lovely gift to show that you care and are thinking of her. I would make sure it is very clear that your niece is loved and respected, even if you cannot participate in her ceremony on moral grounds.

 

[EasterJoy]

Would you attend a hindu wedding? What about a Wiccan handfasting? Wouldn’t that also be “supporting” heretical beliefs?

What if the couple understood you were there because you love them, and not as evidence of your “support?”

It is more like going to see a friend marry his sister. Would you go to that kind of wedding “because you love them”? Maybe so, but a lot of people wouldn’t. It hardly makes them fearful or bigots or any of the other nonsense we hear. It only reflects a sense of integrity. We’re not talking about egging the “newlyweds” house and painting nasty graffiti on their garage.

Non-Christians can enter into natural marriages, and a Catholic might choose to witness those. We are talking about people marrying against natural law.