Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy

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What do you think? Right to lie to your kids about these things?

I’m just thinking of the way that many anti-religious people draw a comparison with religion and these childish stories - they help you to take joy in the world when you’re too young to handle the truth.

Do you think it damages the relationship of truth between parents and children to teach them such myths? Would it be better to say - ‘because mummy and daddy love you, we all give eachother presents at Christmas’ or ‘as a reward for being so brave when you lost your tooth, here’s a dollar’?
 
I’ve always liked to believe that I’d never let my children believe in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, or the Tooth Fairy, and that I’d have an Advent wreath instead of a Christmas tree and not give them gifts on Christmas or Easter. Of course, I’m nowhere near a parent (I don’t even have a girlfriend), so I don’t know what will happen if I ever have kids.
 
I was raised believing in the Tooth Fairy, Santa Clause and the Easter Bunny…I never had trust issues with my parents about it when I found out.

I saw it as them helping to create and preserve that Childhood World of Wonder…when we believe that anything is possible.

I view it as kinds of the same take as would you tell a four year old at Disneyland that Mickey isn’t real he’s just a person in a suit.

Childhood Fantasy and Imagination are important. Not to mention which is worse…slowly learning that Santa Claus is more of a concept that a real person is probably not as bad as not understanding as a four year old why Santa comes to all the other kids and not you.

Just my two cents
 
I’ve worried about the impact of truth/ fiction/ fantasy has on Truth, too.

but we love childhood wonder. but we want the focus to be on the holiness of ther days-- on what God has done! here’s how we play it:

saint nicholas was a Bishiop, he loves Jesus most of all. he loves to celebrate Jesus’ birthday by giving all kids gifts. the best gift is that he prays for us. on Christmas, he brings only one special gift for each child but he would be sad it we paid more attention to the gift than to Jesus! (if other kids get more it’s because their moms and dads add other things.)

some of the stories about him are malarkey–, like the Mrs. santa thing. some we just don’t understand. how does he get around the world? do reindeer fly? etc. etc?? we tell the kids, as a saint, special things happen around him-- maybe even miracles. but we think he needs a lot of help. those guys in the mall are folks who like to help St. Nich, but they’re not him.

same as easter bunny. they*** love*** Jesus’ ressurrection. maybe the bunnies saw Jesus when he came from the tomb. maybe that’s why Easter is so special to them. we think there must be a whole slew of them because there are lots of kids in the world.

tooth fairy: we say, “somebody’s giving you cash for teeth? huh. it happens every time. whadya know.” we act as dumbfounded as the kids. when they say, “is it you mom? dad?” we say, “what do I look like-- a bank? money falling outa my pockets? i wish i had a buck for every tooth in my mouth!” cagey, see? we have fun, but don’t invest too much information.
 
The only one that got me worried was the boogeyman, and Tom Dark was a close second.

I was about 8 years old when I found out Santa Claus was bogus, but I kept playing along with it to insure I kept getting stuff. I feared my parents would cut back the inventory, if they no longer had to live up to Santa. I figured as long as there was a Santa Claus they’d hafta keep up what they were selling.

When I was about 15 my dad, at his wits end, finally sat me down and said, “Look there ain’t NO Santa Claus!” “Well dang, imagine that?”

I remember guys quizzing the nuns at Christ The King about Santa, and they always referred them back to his parents. I knew something was amiss because my 3rd grade teacher, Sister Mary Jane Francis, ALWAYS had the answers.

We went the Santa route with my son, but if I had to do it over again, after about the age of 3, I’d emphasize the Catholic meaning as it relates to the Advent season.

I’d explain Santa not as person but as a representation some people use as the giving part. As Catholics I think our giving should be explained as our way to help celebrate Christ’s Birth. Just my :twocents:
 
When I was about 15 my dad, at his wits end, finally sat me down and said, “Look there ain’t NO Santa Claus!” “Well dang, imagine that?”
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Bama, it’s getting to be a habit. almost every one of your posts makes me laugh.
 
DL82 said:
What do you think? Right to lie to your kids about these things?..
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It’s not lying; it’s role playing. Like actors in a play.

I don’t emphasize the reindeer, etc, but I don’t mind that part of the game. I also make sure to teach my children about St. Nicholas–the real saint and bishop. I teach them that St. Nicholas did what he did in Jesus name. I give to my children in the spirit of St. Nicholas, who gave to others in the spirit of Christ. They learn a lesson about anonymous giving. As a parent, I also learn a lesson about anonymous giving.
 
In my opinion in order for something to be a lie it has to have a harmful or selfish side. I don’t think anyone who lets their kids believe in Santa is doing it with ill intent.
 
Alix1912 said:
I was raised believing in the Tooth Fairy, Santa Clause and the Easter Bunny…I never had trust issues with my parents about it when I found out.

I saw it as them helping to create and preserve that Childhood World of Wonder
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I think that’s a false sense of “wonder.” This is what I hate about Disney and about pop culture’s idea of fantasy–that it’s all about this naive, innocent belief that “anything is possible.” Good fantasy, for kids or adults, doesn’t work that way. It is a transformed, intensified view of the real world, not just escapism.

Very young children don’t have a clear sense of the difference between reality and imagination. My not-yet-two-year-old daughter loves Beatrix Potter, and she never asks whether squirrels and rabbits really talk. She hasn’t got there. But when she does ask, I’m not going to tell her something I know to be false in order to preserve her “sense of wonder.” I would probably say something like, “Well, I’ve never heard one talk, and I don’t think they could say words like we do because their mouths aren’t shaped that way, but they may have ways of talking to each other for all I know.” I want her to have a sense of wonder because I do. I think there may be all sorts of wonderful things out there in the universe that we don’t know about. That is the sense of wonder she has now, and that’s what I want her to preserve. This is entirely compatible with her learning that specific things she finds wonderful are actually products of the human imagination.

The problem behind your argument is the idea that adults can’t and shouldn’t have a “sense of wonder.” This makes your view of childhood wonder patronizing. Let the little dears have their illusions for now–they will be shattered soon enough. That’s not how I see the world. Children experience wonder not because they are too naive to know better, but because they have not yet been blinded by our illusions. My daughter knows that an ant crawling across the pavement is wonderful. She finds Squirrel Nutkin wonderful for much the same reasons. It’s all part of the same wonderful universe to her. And it ought to be. When she’s old enough to ask the question, I will tell her that the antics of Squirrel Nutkin came from the imagination of a woman named Beatrix Potter. That’s no less wonderful.

Edwin
 
My parents let us believe in all of them until we were about 8 or 9 then we had a “talk” 😉

However, there was always more of an emphasis on leaving our shoes out for St. Nick than Santa Claus.

We did own the Reindeer movies that were popular in the 80s.

I don’t really see it as a big deal. Easter is my favorite holiday of the year, and it always has been ever since pre-school. Not because of the Easter Bunny, but because what it means as a Catholic. [Plus the colors are really pretty – I told my mom that when I was 5.]
 
After a while, kids understand the difference between Jesus and toothmice faires. I don’t think anybody today claims latter beings exist.
 
It must be that time of year. I had been kind of thinking that we hadn’t had a good “Is it OK to lie about…” thread for a while.

I’ll just repeat my same thoughts.

I believe in Santa Claus. I consider Santa Claus to be St. Nicholas who is alive, as are all saints. I won’t let anyone tell me the “lies” that the two are different people or that saints are dead.

I’m more vague about tooth fairies and Easter bunnies.

The proper answer to, “How are you?” is always, “Fine,” unless you are answering someone who has a right to know differently. There are very few people who have such a right even if you know them.
 
Having been nearby when the then 8 year old daughter of some friends discovered the truth about Santa Claus I’ve decided I would want to be honest about it. Daughter was angry, “LI-ER!” " What about _____; did you LIE about that?" was what was going on for part of the evening.

They tried to explain they wanted her to have fun believing in that. She felt that since everyone else knew and didn’t tell her, that it was a joke on her or something.

I aksed permission to talk about St. Nicholas (they were Catholic but, you know, this wasn’t my business) and so I told her about how Santa was really St. Nicholas who was a real person, a bishop who lived long ago and how he came to be associated with Santa Claus.

Oh, and I told her that I still liked to pretend to believe and when I when to visit my Mom at Christmas I still hung my stocking so my Mom could fill it. Later I rented the video about St. Nicholas.

Also, when the brother of a friend found out he ran and hid behind the couch and cried. Both of these events made me think there had to be a better way.

If I had kids I would do all the trappings of the holidays (cuz I think taking the fun stuff away when it isn’t required of our religion makes them feel like freaks) but keep the emphasis on God.
 
It’s our patriotic duty as Americans to teach our children to believe in Santa Claus because our economy thrives on people buying frivolous things that they don’t need. This is probably why vocations in America are lacking.
 
I am on record in these forums (several times) as being opposed to lying to children about anything, including treating the SC/EB/TF myths as though they were real. I have been scolded for the severity of my position, but I haven’t changed it.

DaveBj
 
I see nothing wrong with Santa Claus (we never really emphasized the Easter Bunny or Tooth Fairy much.)

Our major emphasis was always on the real St. Nicholas, as my husband’s background is Byzantine Catholic and Eastern European, and St. Nicholas always held a special place in his childhood. I think the fact that St. Nicholas was a real person, with a wonderful story, made it even more magical for our girls.

I do remember well the level of excitement and anticipation I felt as a child about Santa, and I would have hated to miss that magic. It goes without saying that we have always strongly emphasized that the REAL story is the Nativity.
 
BamaRider said:
The only one that got me worried was the boogeyman, and Tom Dark was a close second.
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Completely offtopic, but who’s Tom Dark? I’m always interested in this sort of thing and I’ve never heard of this character.

For the rest of it, I’m with Contarini: wonderment doesn’t have to come at the expense of truth. Not that we won’t open presents on Cashmas (because really, that’s what it is these days) but nobody gains anything by pretending a jolly fat man really comes down the chimney. Isn’t it enough to celebrate what bits of good and charity lurk in our twisted little hearts? 😉
 
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