Santa Claus, why all the pressure?

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Palatinus

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My wife and I both work for Catholic institutions and have little three kids and one on the way. With the oldest being almost four, this is the first year we are really noticing the push for Santa even from Catholic quarters. I’m curious what others have done. A few thoughts first:
  1. We celebrate St. Nicholas on Dec. 6. Since my wife is German (born there) we enjoy the German tradition of setting shoes out and kids get candy Dec. 6. We tell the kids that this is the celebrate the story of St. Nicholas’ generosity to the poor and the kids really enjoy it.
  2. Santa Claus is not in any way (except for American movies) the focus of Dec. 24/25 in Germany. They talk about the coming of the Christ child (Christkind). I like this since Advent and Christmas is about this anyway.
  3. The American Santa Claus as in popular culture is a recent phenomenon. As far as I. Can tell, it is mostly from the late 19th century. That means that the world did just fine for almost 1900 years without this cultural version.
My question is why all the pressure from even fellow Catholics to join in? When I tell people, they act like I just sacrificed my children’s childhood. Had I lived in germany or in any other time in history, the kids would have been fine without ilthis particular myth. I even enjoy myths (e.g. Tolkien), it’s just that I am surprised at how people act when you don’t buy in. I don’t care if they want to do it with their children, but I just prefer to wait for the coming of Baby Jesus and to celebrate his birth and incarnation. Thoughts?
 
That Santa clause and materialistic phenomenon has even grown in the UK since I was young. It was mitigated to some extent by the society we had whereby Christianity was a part of life in a far wider and stronger way than now.

So as a child I always knew that Christmas was about both, the birth of Our Lord and the magical Santa clause or Father Christmas.

I am the only religious person in my family and so we have a secular Christmas but I attend to my liturgical responsibilities and enjoy my Christmas in a different way. I have a foot in both camps up to a point.
 
I grew up with Santa and a focus on the Christian aspect. Christmas has always been my favourite time of year but Santa made it a time of wonder and magic as a child.

I think it’s fine if you don’t want to do it. You just have to be really careful that your kids don’t tell other kids that Santa isn’t real. It really is a terrible thing to have a child ruin Santa for another child.
 
0Scarlett_nidiyilii said:
Santa Claus is part of American folklore, but it’s not a sin to opt-out.

Just don’t let your kids ruin it for the other kids (or get all arrogant because they “knew all the time”)
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Agree with this, 1000 percent.

I’ve never cared what traditions other people do or don’t choose to celebrate, but often those who go against the flow and don’t do Santa Claus, or their kids, carry it over into acting in some condescending or arrogant or complaining manner towards people who choose to celebrate with Santa.

Additionally, if you’re in the USA there’s kind of a knee-jerk response from people who grew up with fun memories of Santa (same for Halloween trick or treat), carried on the tradition with their own kids, and can’t imagine why another set of parents might (in their view) deprive their child of the fun of Santa.

There’s also the practical issue of Santas and Santa stuff being in every store, mall, public place, on TV etc for many days leading up to Christmas, and as kids get old enough to notice what’s around them, they will want to participate too. Depending on where the kids go to school, they may also encounter Santa there. Catholic schools certainly don’t shy away from Santa, and some though not all public schools regard him as secular enough that they can have Santa-themed songs, classroom decorations, art projects, etc.

As a child, it was always made quite clear to me that we were celebrating the birthday of the Baby Jesus, and Santa Claus, who I was taught was really a Saint named Nicholas, was sort of the saint who helped with the celebration, bringing gifts that reflected the love of God. It was really quite a nice way of looking at it. Not saying that to pressure you, but just noting that the two things aren’t mutually exclusive.
 
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If you are American or in America, it is part of our culture. Not everyone participates but many, many do in one way or the other.

Just tell people because your wife is German Santa Claus (St Nick) comes in early December. Tell your kids Santa visits most American families on the 24th.
 
You can do both, if you want to. St. Nicholas on December 6 and then Santa Caus on December 24/25. Twice as much fun for your kids.
0Scarlett_nidiyilii said:
Santa Claus is part of American folklore, but it’s not a sin to opt-out.
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Right, and it’s not a sin to opt-in, either.
 
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I love the statue/artwork of Santa kneeling before baby Jesus. It is a wonderful way to connect Santa and the birth of Christ for children. But parents need to explain things to their kids, not just let the secular world do so. Until a certain age, it is a difficult concept for children to understand more than that Christmas is the birthday of Jesus. It is not a once told story or explanation, it needs to be added to, refined and retold as children grow over the years.
 
I love Santa Claus. I also let my daughter know that he and St. Nicholas are one.

For when she’s older: why Santa Claus? Because after St. Nicholas died, we want to keep his spirit of gift giving and joy to children alive, so each of us are Santa Claus! And then that torch is passed to her to help with our young one.

Just not yet. Maybe next year.
 
Palatinus said:
When I tell people, they act like I just sacrificed my children’s childhood.
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I wasn’t raised believing in Santa Clause. We celebrated St. Nicholas Day. I don’t feel deprived :man_shrugging:t2:
 
Tis_Bearself said:
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0Scarlett_nidiyilii:
Santa Claus is part of American folklore, but it’s not a sin to opt-out.

Just don’t let your kids ruin it for the other kids (or get all arrogant because they “knew all the time”)
Click to expand...
Agree with this, 1000 percent.

I’ve never cared what traditions other people do or don’t choose to celebrate, but often those who go against the flow and don’t do Santa Claus, or their kids, carry it over into acting in some condescending or arrogant or complaining manner towards people who choose to celebrate with Santa.

Additionally, if you’re in the USA there’s kind of a knee-jerk response from people who grew up with fun memories of Santa (same for Halloween trick or treat), carried on the tradition with their own kids, and can’t imagine why another set of parents might (in their view) deprive their child of the fun of Santa.

There’s also the practical issue of Santas and Santa stuff being in every store, mall, public place, on TV etc for many days leading up to Christmas, and as kids get old enough to notice what’s around them, they will want to participate too. Depending on where the kids go to school, they may also encounter Santa there. Catholic schools certainly don’t shy away from Santa, and some though not all public schools regard him as secular enough that they can have Santa-themed songs, classroom decorations, art projects, etc.

As a child, it was always made quite clear to me that we were celebrating the birthday of the Baby Jesus, and Santa Claus, who I was taught was really a Saint named Nicholas, was sort of the saint who helped with the celebration, bringing gifts that reflected the love of God. It was really quite a nice way of looking at it. Not saying that to pressure you, but just noting that the two things aren’t mutually exclusive.
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Yep. I grew up with fun memories of Santa Claus (and trick or treating) but my husband did not. Originally from Mexico, his family and small town culture where he grew up shunned a lot of secular things, so he’s not a huge fan of those things. Someone (here in the States) told me that they tell their kids that Santa is fun game that some families like to play with their kids, and not to ruin it for others. I kind of like that, so it might be a nice compromise for my husband and I. My grandpa still dresses up as Santa and goes to neighboring towns visiting kids, so I don’t want to totally throw it away either.

I read that Santa was a myth in an encyclopedia book lol. When I asked my mom about it, she said Santa was more like the “spirit of Christmas” and didn’t just flat out tell me, so I was still left questioning it. I just gradually understood that it wasn’t real but I was old enough by then that I didn’t mind.
Irishmom2 said:
I love the statue/artwork of Santa kneeling before baby Jesus.
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I love that image too!
 
Santa Claus has become the counterfeit to celebrating the birth of Christ. (Not that you can’t do both) Santa is very marketable to the stores and they depend on those big sales at the end of the year. Everyone has just been swept along with the fun of it all. (I know people who have loaded up their credit cards and took till June to pay off Christmas. The kids have been overloaded with gifts from mom and dad, grandparents, aunts and uncles. It’s gone way over the top) I have asked kids ‘what did you give to Jesus for his birthday’ and they’ve looked at me like I had 2 heads. No reply.

It’s the opposite of Jesus, who entered into our poverty. The silence of Bethlehem. The word of God not proclaimed but silent in the womb of Mary. How the Eucharist is Jesus hidden in the world. If you and your family can enter into that humbleness and quietness and leave out the noise of the world, I support and commend you. Be that witness to the faithful. Let them be surprised. Be that quiet candle lit in the darkness. I think our blessed Mother would approve. (what a bold statement that is! lol)

The world is all about parties and gifts and over eating all through Dec so by the time Christmas comes, there is nothing special left. They’ve eaten all the special Christmas cookies, they’ve put on a few pounds. The tree has been up since November. By boxing day they are ready to throw it all to the curb. Our Catholic faith is in Advent, not Christmas. Live that reality and let people be surprised.
 
I just never introduced Santa.
Advent is so chock-full of feast days… I’ve always celebrated the feasts of St Nicholas, St Lucia, Juan Diego, Our Lady of Guadeloupe…honestly I never had time to focus on Santa 😂 (It wasn’t intentional; living liturgically simply left out Santa).
As my kids got older I did take care to instruct them that many other kids believe in Santa, and not to ruin their fun. Which they never have.
I think it truly boils down to what’s best for your family. If you want to include Santa, go for it, if not that’s okay too! No worries.
 
Palatinus said:
My question is why all the pressure from even fellow Catholics to join in?
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You’d really have to ask the people who are pressuring you.

I know a lot of Catholics and their participation in Santa varies from not at all to completely. I don’t think I’ve ever encountered pressure one way or another.
 
Are you raising your kids in american culture? If so, santa clause is part of it and is here to stay. Candy in shoes is fine and all, but it is no talking baby doll or x-box.

Depriving your kids of santa clause, if you are raising them in American culture, will probably backfire on you. They will realize they are missing out and they will resent their parents for it.

I agree that commercialism and materialism at Christmas-time can be over the top. As parents, you have full control over how much or how little you want to participate. I was raised Catholic, and we knew the Catholic explanation of Christmas and it was front and center in our house and our lifestyle. But Santa Clause still came to the house, and we got presents. My parents kept things balanced, regardless of what the neighbors did. It is possible.
 
I guess it depends on your family and friends.

We would talk about Santa as being St. Nicholas, but never in the sense of him coming down the chimney with a bag full of presents. We didn’t go out of our way to say that Santa didn’t do that, but neither did we encourage it. We simply didn’t make a big deal of it either way.

With many of our friends being Catholic homeschooling families, they mostly took the same approach. To my knowledge, my daughter never really had conversations with other kids that revolved around Santa, so she never spoiled any other kids’ fun.
 
It used to be pretty common to expose kids to various Christmas/Epiphany traditions. A lot of kids now do not hear about the Christkindl (the Christ Child), the Three Kings, or La Befana, bringing presents to classmates from other ethnic traditions.

Also, the hatred that some atheists and fellow Christians show toward the Santa Claus role-playing by parents has made a lot of people more determined to play along.

Finally, I agree that many American Christians use love of Santa as a public or social proxy for love of Jesus. There are lots of differences in Christology and Mariology between me and Bob down the street, but we could assume we agreed on sleighs and reindeer. This is no longer true in all cases, but it is still a middle ground.
 
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BartholomewB said:
You can do both, if you want to. St. Nicholas on December 6 and then Santa Caus on December 24/25. Twice as much fun for your kids.
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^^This is what we do too.

Growing up we had a Muslim family move in next door. I think by the time of their 2nd Christmas in the states they started to incorporate a tree and Santa into their tradition as well. They saw the kids as “really missing out” compared to their classmates and friends.
 
It is probably more that they are concerned that your children might tell their friends that there is no such thing as Santa Claus! Of course we know that Santa Claus is really Saint Nicholas! The story goes: There was a poor man who had three daughters. The man was so poor that he did not have enough money for a dowry, so his daughters couldn’t get married. One night, Nicholas secretly dropped a bag of gold down the chimney and into the house (This meant that the oldest daughter was then able to be married.). The bag fell into a stocking that had been hung by the fire to dry! This was repeated later with the second daughter. Finally, determined to discover the person who had given him the money, the father secretly hid by the fire every evening until he caught Nicholas dropping in a bag of gold. Nicholas begged the man to not tell anyone what he had done, because he did not want to bring attention to himself. But soon the news got out and when anyone received a secret gift, it was thought that maybe it was from Nicholas. IF you are wondering how Santa got his red suit you might want to check out: Five Things You Never Knew About Santa Claus and Coca-Cola - News & Articles
 
I think your choice is fine. In the church I grew up people acted like doing Santa was a form of psychological abuse. “Oh my goodness you’re going to lie to your kids for years.” (Admittedly Kant wouldn’t be a fan.)

It’s a weird attitude. As long as you don’t take it that far and it’s really just that you prefer not to and you’re not judging anyone else I think it’s perfectly fine.

I legitimately don’t remember a time I actually believed in Santa. I remember telling my mom I knew it was fake when I was 7 or 8. She said “well you don’t get a stocking full of candy if you don’t believe in Santa.” I’m in college now and I “believe” in Santa to this day. It hasn’t stopped netting me candy!
 
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