Saying Goodbye and Thank You!

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lonegreywolf20

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Just wanted to say goodbye. I know for some I may have been very frustrating to deal with, but I wanted to be nice and say thank you for putting up with me.

Since I am unable to attend mass because of my ex-wife not allowing our kids to go and the court order gives her final say on religious matters, I started to attend my girlfriends denomination, not necessarily her church. She is Episcopalian, so service is very similar.

My Ex-wife has no objections to the Episcopal church and she sees that our kids are loving it there. They have a great kid’s program/ministry and they have taken to it easily.

Maybe someday when the kids are grown up I will return, but for this season in my life, I am going elsewhere.

Thank you again!
 
For this season I have no choice. I cannot attend mass as either I have my kids and their mom will not let me take them to church, or I am working.

So for now till my kids are grown I will attend an Episcopal church as my ex-wife will allow me to go to it. She has final say in religious upbringing and I will not go against my divorce decree.
 
My last words, Christ PROMISED that every time we are tempted to sin that He will provide a way to escape that sin. Christ is honest. There is a way, keep searching for it!
 
Thank you, even though I disagree that what I am doing is sin.
 
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You don’t have to leave the Catholic Church. Nor do you have to violate your divorce decree.

When you don’t have the kids, go to Mass on your own. When you do have them with you, watch the Mass on EWTN or another Catholic TV channel.

The Episcopal church is not the Catholic Church. The service may seem similar to ours. But they believe, teach and condone things Catholics don’t. And the reason we don’t is God doesn’t.

Were you Catholic when you married your wife? Before my Protestant mother married my Catholic father, she had to agree to raise any children they had in Catholic faith. Even tho they later divorced, my mother kept that promise she’d made all those years ago. She had sole custody and could have forced us to go to Protestant churches. But she searched for the nearest Catholic Church and let us decide where we wanted to go to church while she was looking.

Because my mother did this, we were able to experience various Protestant churches while retaining our love for Mother Church and having the freedom to go to both if we wished or only one.

Today, my mother is Catholic herself.
 
I am a cradle Catholic, so yes, I was Catholic before I met my ex-wife, as was my ex-wife. We both left the church in our teens. Her and I were married by her pastor of the church that she attended and not in the Catholic church.

My mind is made up on what I am doing. Their mom wants me to bring them to church or I lose them for a day and a half so she can bring them to her church. So I really have no other options if I want to see my kids. There is no going to mass when I don’t have them with me. I have them with me Saturday, Sunday, Monday and drop them off Tuesday evening, then go to work Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. I go in early in the morning and work 13-17 hours or more.

I will not watch mass on TV as that is no where near the same thing as going to church which is what I must do in order to see my children, nor is it a passable replacement for actually going to church.

This is only for a season and when they are grown up, I will return.
 
If your mind is made up, why are you here? We get it. You want to do Catholicism when it’s convenient for yourself. So do that. But don’t expect people on a Catholic site to give you the thumbs up. You have choices, but you have chosen the one that puts Catholicism on the back burner. Again. If it mattered to you, you would find a way. Get your court Order changed. If your wife wants the kids to go to her church, let her come take them nearby your house on Sunday while you go to mass. She can’t have it both ways.
 
No, I’m doing the best I can while thinking of my kids and making sure that there are no arguments between their mom and I. In order to have my kids this is what I must do. I’m sorry that you do not seem to understand that.

There is no changing my court order unless I say I want the kids less so I can go to a Catholic church. I’m sure the judge would love that! She has final say on religious matters because she is the custodial parent, she gets that overall say.

She also will not come and get them unless it’s to pick them up to bring them home and keep them till the next Saturday. Yes, she is that way.

I will not choose the Catholic church over my children, I just won’t do it.

This is my final post.
 
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Just a few questions. If you return, will you be sorry for leaving? Will you believe that there’s more you could’ve done, that you did wrong and you shouldn’t have? Just consider these questions. I’ll pray for you.
 
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You and your kids are in my prayers.

However, I would give serious consideration to having the Court Order changed. I take it she has sole custody. So have the Court Order amended to specifically state that when the children are with you that they go to the church of your choice (which is the Catholic Church) and when they are with her, they go to her chosen church.

Remember, my parents were from different churches. My mother did the right thing. But when we moved here, we didn’t know where the Catholic Church was right away. She could’ve easily, now that we were on her home turf, rejected the promise she’d made and demanded that we attend the churches she was raised in. Instead, she let us decide whether we wanted to stay home or find churches to attend that weren’t Catholic until she found a parish for us.

You see, divorce doesn’t have to tear the family apart. And yes, it’s fair that your ex would want the children to attend her church when they are with her. It isn’t fair that your (name removed by moderator)ut of where they go to church when they are with you be ignored.

Have the Court Order changed, please. Your children need to be raised in the Truth. She shouldn’t have total say in their religious upbringing. You’re their father. The decisions made while they are in your care shouldn’t be hers to make. And threatening not to let you see your kids if you don’t abide by her rules when they are with you is tyrannical. Speak to your attorney, please. For your children.
 
I cannot change the court order. Someone has to have final say when it comes to religious upbringing and that is her. They will not change it so that I can have final say as I am not the custodial parent. She also has final say in schooling. I do not. I can give (name removed by moderator)ut, but that is all. It is her choice to make, not mine.

This is how it was explained to me during the divorce. I was told then that it can not be changed as that is what the law states. There are certain rights given to custodial parents and not to non-custodial parents. This is one of those rights. I cannot change the law.
 
I think I have explained as best as I can and I said my last post would be my final post. I wanted to be sure that I explained why I cannot have the court order changed.

Now my explanation is either accepted or its not. I cannot change anyone’s mind. However, I do know my situation better than anyone and know what I am able to do and not do and I am doing the best I can with what I am able to do. Again, it’s either an accept it or not. I cannot change anyone’s mind, just as no one here will change mine as my kids are what drives my decision here.

This truly is my final post.
 
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Thank you for explaining.
You and your family remain in my prayers.
 
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