Saying The Lord's Prayer During Mass

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When I was a girl and attended mass at our local parish, everyone always held hands during The Lord’s Prayer. I went through a phase where I left the church as a young adult. I am now almost 30 and attending mass again, trying to reconnect with and nourish/develop my faith.

I am surprised because none of the parishes I have been to since hold hands during The Lord’s Prayer. Families sometimes do, but the congregation as a whole does not. Everyone simply stands with their hands raised.

I find this very odd, but that is probably because it is not what I remember being done.

I am curious, is this something that changes from parish to parish, or is it a recent larger scale change?

I also noticed that one of our local parishes doesn’t have kneelers.

I personally find it better and more moving to pray the Lord’s Prayer connected with community. When I see little families holding hands and not reaching for the next person in the pew, that makes me sad somehow.
 
We’re not supposed to hold hands. That’s not a prescribed posture for the laity.
Some places just start it up and it’s almost impossible to get them to stop.
The prayer is what is important, not what you are doing during it.

I myself find it really distracting and people grab my hand, wrench if from me, twist my arm, and other and in general do a pretzel like maneuver to get me to hold hands.

No bueno.
 
Many if not most parishes never held hands. The hands-up posture is also relatively new (started to be the norm in the last few years). Before that, a few people would do hands-up, a few people (such as families or groups of students) would join hands, and most of us just folded our hands in prayer.

Nowadays I usually see most people doing hands-up while a few of us old schoolers still fold our hands in prayer. (I feel very conspicuous with my hands raised and I also feel like that’s a more appropriate gesture for the priest, not for me.) Occasionally I get some pew mate who decides to grab my hand. I go along with it, but I’m not really keen on holding strangers’ hands so unless they really push it I am not going to be offering.
 
I have Aspergers (actually diagnosed and everything), I don’t like when total strangers (if I am visiting elsewhere) go to grab my hand. I’ve actually prevented a very attractive woman I DO know from doing it. Not to mention; I often have sweaty palms.
 
In addition to people with sweaty palms or Aspergers or social anxiety, there are also the folks with arthritis or similar who might suffer pain from holding hands with someone whose grip is wrong or too tight. They usually shy away from the Sign of Peace handshake also for same reason.
 
Tis_Bearself said:
In addition to people with sweaty palms or Aspergers or social anxiety, there are also the folks with arthritis or similar who might suffer pain from holding hands with someone whose grip is wrong or too tight. They usually shy away from the Sign of Peace handshake also for same reason.
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I’ve noticed that some elderly people do that, and I am fine with that if they don’t want to.
 
pianistclare said:
We’re not supposed to hold hands. That’s not a prescribed posture for the laity.
Some places just start it up and it’s almost impossible to get them to stop.
The prayer is what is important, not what you are doing during it.

I myself find it really distracting and people grab my hand, wrench if from me, twist my arm, and other and in general do a pretzel like maneuver to get me to hold hands.

No bueno.
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I agree. ¡No es bueno!
 
When I attend a Latin parish and there is hand holding, it does make me a bit uncomfortable (as does the Orans position), and I think it’s distracting. It’s just not something I’m used to doing.
 
Well, when I was a girl no one ever held hands. This hand-holding stuff was invented later. As other said, it shouldn’t be done and I would be very happy to see it totally go away.
 
pianistclare said:
We’re not supposed to hold hands. That’s not a prescribed posture for the laity.
Some places just start it up and it’s almost impossible to get them to stop.
The prayer is what is important, not what you are doing during it.

I myself find it really distracting and people grab my hand, wrench if from me, twist my arm, and other and in general do a pretzel like maneuver to get me to hold hands.

No bueno.
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Clare is correct. The GIRM (General Instruction of the Roman Missal) discourages if not outright states it is not proper to hold hands. Given that, I can see families (Mother, Father and Children) holding hands as a family bonding measure. I don’t think the Lord is going to be upset.

My :twocents:
 
I never hold hands. If I’m not holding a missal or hymn book my hand are together in a prayer position.

I’ve had people try to hold hands with me and I just keep my hands together. In one parish I went to people were so eager to hold hands they try to make a chain throughout the church, crossing the center aisle even.
 
From the choir loft, we can see that probably 80% of the people in our parish do hold hands.

But there are clearly pockets of people who do not hold hands – individuals, whole families.

Up in the loft, we do not hold hands. It’s just not something any of us do when we’re in the pews, so we don’t hold hands up there either.
 
joeybaggz said:
The GIRM (General Instruction of the Roman Missal) discourages if not outright states it is not proper to hold hands.

My :twocents:
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I wouldn’t go so far as to say the GIRM says something it doesn’t. Hand-holding isn’t mentioned.
 
joeybaggz said:
Clare is correct. The GIRM (General Instruction of the Roman Missal) discourages if not outright states it is not proper to hold hands. Given that, I can see families (Mother, Father and Children) holding hands as a family bonding measure. I don’t think the Lord is going to be upset.

My :twocents:
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I wish more priests followed the GIRM, as here it is the norm in 3 of the 4 parishes to hold hands.
 
pianistclare said:
We’re not supposed to hold hands. That’s not a prescribed posture for the laity.
Some places just start it up and it’s almost impossible to get them to stop.
The prayer is what is important, not what you are doing during it.

I myself find it really distracting and people grab my hand, wrench if from me, twist my arm, and other and in general do a pretzel like maneuver to get me to hold hands.

No bueno.
Click to expand...
Correct.
I just hold my hands in the prayer position.
 
I have arthritis and I don’t like to be grabbed (or given the stink eye if I’m smiling, shaking my head, and pantomiming 'my hands hurt") and I’ll make exceptions when little children come running up with their hands out because under my grouchy rigid old fashioned ways I’m as soft as a marshmallow (don’t tell), but I really, really wish this custom would go the way of the dodo. Or disco. Vanish like the Roanoke Colony and never be seen again. . .
 
Tantum_ergo said:
I have arthritis and I don’t like to be grabbed (or given the stink eye if I’m smiling, shaking my head, and pantomiming 'my hands hurt") and I’ll make exceptions when little children come running up with their hands out because under my grouchy rigid old fashioned ways I’m as soft as a marshmallow (don’t tell), but I really, really wish this custom would go the way of the dodo. Or disco. Vanish like the Roanoke Colony and never be seen again. . .
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I check out the crowd…if people are coughing or sneezing, I rather not hold hands and then go up to hold the Eucharist. :nope:
 
True. Why would it even mention something that is not foreseen to occur? All the more reason not to do it.
 
I am more comfortable with my hands folded when I pray during Mass, so that’s what I do. No one has ever tried to grab and hold my hand which I am thankful for. We hold hands around the table for the blessing in our family, but it seems to me that when some are holding hands, some are raising hands, some are just standing, and some are folding hands during the Our Father, it takes away from the communal worship and prayer of the Mass somehow. The standing, kneeling, sitting all together in the universal “choreography” of the Mass no matter where in the world you are is a beautiful thing. It’s not enough to get all bent out of shape about when there are different postures during the Our Father, so I just do my thing and let everyone else do theirs, but, if I"m being honest, I would like for a common prayer posture to join the other postures during Mass.
 
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