Says is not atheist, it is just that she doesn't care - just not interested!

[Cinette]

Hi all!

I have just made contact with an old school friend and I find it disturbing to read what she says: quote No, I did not leave the church to get married. I had rejected it on moral and ethical grounds even before I met my husband so the excommunication was a bit unnecessary. I have always found any dogmatism and concepts like “the Truth” “only True Faith” and such things quite repugnant to say the least. This is one of the reasons why, although I neither believe in a god or gods nor do I feel any need to spend time investigating the question, I do not describe myself as an atheist. The whole thing is irrelevant to me.

She was a convert who became a nun and later married an ex priest! Did not want children.

I knew her as a good, sweet, caring person when we were at boarding school together many years ago.

I am praying but would like your (name removed by moderator)ut.

Cinette

 

[kage_ar]

Pray for her. Let the joy and love in your life be an example.

I’ll bet you lunch she left over pelvic issues - and “because it feels good” is difficult to combat when she is ignoring her Faith.

 

[Cinette]

Pray for her. Let the joy and love in your life be an example.

I’ll bet you lunch she left over pelvic issues - and “because it feels good” is difficult to combat when she is ignoring her Faith.

No I do not think she left for that reason.

To my way of thinking I believe it is worse to be indifferent (as she seems to be) than to be an atheist. Much much worse.

Yet, as I said, she was always a really good person. Oh yes I shall pray because I get into a panic when I think of her current position.

Cinette

 

[CB_Catholic]

Hi all!

I have just made contact with an old school friend and I find it disturbing to read what she says: quote No, I did not leave the church to get married. I had rejected it on moral and ethical grounds even before I met my husband so the excommunication was a bit unnecessary. I have always found any dogmatism and concepts like “the Truth” “only True Faith” and such things quite repugnant to say the least. This is one of the reasons why, although I neither believe in a god or gods nor do I feel any need to spend time investigating the question, I do not describe myself as an atheist. The whole thing is irrelevant to me.

She was a convert who became a nun and later married an ex priest! Did not want children.

I knew her as a good, sweet, caring person when we were at boarding school together many years ago.

I am praying but would like your (name removed by moderator)ut.

Cinette

In my opinion, this attitude is the hardest to deal with and overcome, although God can do anything. A fervent atheist who will defend his/her beliefs or even speak strongly against belief is easier to convince because at least there is a passion or caring about something, a willingness to talk about something, even against God. That passion can, in some cases, be turned around and directed toward God. There are numerous Christian testimonies to this, if you read conversion stories. But it is very, very difficult to reach a person who just does not care, to whom God is truly irrelevant. That, to me, is probably the worst spiritual state to be in, and is close to spiritual death. In fact, something like this is addressed in the Book of Revelation to the Church at Laodecia, where the Lord says that He wishes they were either hot or cold, but because they are lukewarm, He will spit them out of His mouth.

IMO, the best thing for you to do is to pray fervently for your friend, but if you do choose to address it with her, do not approach her with a dogmatic or argumentative approach, as that is exactly what she has rejected. You will get nowhere. Instead, use a personal approach, perhaps sharing some of your personal testimony. Keep the pronouns personal. Use the word “I”. However, be prepared for rejection, and never attempt this without much prayer and guidance from the Holy Spirit. It is He who can soften hearts, but somewhere, deep inside, the heart has to be willing to be softened. Pray that she still has a spark of spiritual life in her somewhere.

Of course, as I said before, this is only my opinion, others may have more insight.

 

[JRKH]

No I do not think she left for that reason.

To my way of thinking I believe it is worse to be indifferent (as she seems to be) than to be an atheist. Much much worse.

Yet, as I said, she was always a really good person. Oh yes I shall pray because I get into a panic when I think of her current position.

Cinette

I don’t know that I would really try to put a “Degree” of “Bad” on the rejection of God.
The road to damnation is wide and many find it. - Well whatever and however they find it, the end remains the same.
We can only say that the best thing to do is to 1) Remain in touch with her. 2) Pray for her. 3) Be gentle and patient with her. 4) Be the best Christian you can be with her.

Her statement that she is uninterested in pusuing a discussion indicates that either, 1) She feels she has everything figured out, or 2) Trying to figure it out is too hard and she would rather just forget the whole thing.

Hopefully by interacting with her, opportunities might come up to “Nibble at the edge of” these matters. Just raising this or that point and seeing where the discussion goes and whether it lasts 5 minutes or an hour, you will learn something about where she is.

I wish you success in this matter. may the Holy Spirit Guide you.

Peace
James

 

[Cinette]

Thank you for your suggestions. I think they are wise. One of the things I thought of saying to her was that we should not avoid conversations on any topic as if we are walking on eggs, trying not to upset or offend. We should be bold like on CAF. I intend to converse about everything under the sun and every now and then say something.

I have already told her that I am a revert after an absence of 27 years and how the Church is the source of my happiness and how it transformed my life and brought my atheist husband into the Church. I will try not to preech to her.

Any other ideas will be most appreciated.

Thank you
Cinette

 

[kage_ar]

No I do not think she left for that reason.

I’ve yet to meet the person who cites “moral” or “ethical” reasons that do not boil down to sex in the end. Homosexuality, women priests, masturbation, divorce, contraception - all the pelvic issues…

No one leaves the Church because they really want to be a bank robber, they leave over authority.