Scandal???

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LaSainte

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Ok, so my mother in law died 6 months ago. My father in law lives alone now in a huge house. The housekeeper that they have had for 20 years just left her husband who was beating her. She can’t afford to go anywhere else and was wondering what she should do when my FIL (65) offered to let her stay in their guest room until she can figure out her situation.

Well, her church (not Catholic) basically shunned her until she finally moved out because they said she was living in sin.

Wouldn’t helping out an abused friend of 20 years who has nowhere to turn preclude the sin of scandal?
 
It isn’t like they’re sleeping together, right? So I don’t see where the sin is. Maybe having someone else move in would make a difference. I know some churches say that a man and woman who aren’t married can’t be left alone like that. But I think the biggest scandal is the automatic thought that they are “living in sin.”
 
Christy_Beth said:
It isn’t like they’re sleeping together, right? So I don’t see where the sin is. Maybe having someone else move in would make a difference. I know some churches say that a man and woman who aren’t married can’t be left alone like that. But I think the biggest scandal is the automatic thought that they are “living in sin.”
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👍
 
I’m glad I’m catholic if this is how other churches treat their members! How sad, but maybe it will lead to a conversion experience? Your FIL sounds like a good and caring man
 
LaSainte said:
Ok, so my mother in law died 6 months ago. My father in law lives alone now in a huge house. The housekeeper that they have had for 20 years just left her husband who was beating her. She can’t afford to go anywhere else and was wondering what she should do when my FIL (65) offered to let her stay in their guest room until she can figure out her situation.

Well, her church (not Catholic) basically shunned her until she finally moved out because they said she was living in sin.

Wouldn’t helping out an abused friend of 20 years who has nowhere to turn preclude the sin of scandal?
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Her church members should not make assumptions and not be judgemental. They should have shown what being Christian is about and offered this poor woman a home. They should keep their noses out of her business unless to help.
 
I wouldn’t say “scandal” per se…but it *does *sound like the opening chapter of a seedy Harlequin Romance novel. 😃

It depends. Avoiding the “near occasion of sin” falls into play here. Two very vulnerable people with broken hearts living together…it *could *lead to something. I think the housekeeper’s church acted less than charitably; however, it just might be that their hearts were in the right place. Isn’t that just horrible of me to say? I just mean that stranger things have happened…
 
7armyrugrats said:
I’m glad I’m catholic if this is how other churches treat their members! How sad, but maybe it will lead to a conversion experience? Your FIL sounds like a good and caring man
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He is a wonderful man 🙂 And my MIL is the only woman he has ever been with. He is a Eucharistic minister, and would never even THINK of doing anything like they were implying. He always said “She was my one and only”. So sad that people would jump to such a nasty conclusion when he was just trying to help a family friend.

Thank you all for the responses. This confirms my own feelings that charity comes first. What a screwed up mindset for these people to even consider such a thing.
 
I am reminded of the motto of the Knights of the Garter:

Honi soit qui mal y pense
 
Christy_Beth said:
It isn’t like they’re sleeping together, right? So I don’t see where the sin is. Maybe having someone else move in would make a difference. I know some churches say that a man and woman who aren’t married can’t be left alone like that. But I think the biggest scandal is the automatic thought that they are "living in sin."
Click to expand...
👍
 
1ke said:
There is no sin of scandal.
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A clarifying question. Are you saying you see no scandal in these circumstances? Or are you saying that there is no sin of scandal–that such a thing is not a sin–analogous to “there is no sin of quietly praying”?
 
On the surface the situation does look bad on her: a woman leaves her husband to live with a recently widowed man.
Loneliness, the need for support, wanting to feel the warmth of someone close and get a hug, is very powerful.
We have boundaries that help avoid going down slippery paths.
There are ways that one can help people in these situations; shunning them would not seem to be the preferred way.
I would hope that if the old man does develop a relationship with this woman (wouldn’t that open a can of worms), that the family won’t shun him, but help him through it.
 
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