Scared About Confession

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valerie1102

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Hi…I’m really new to these forums, but was looking for some place to get some advice and support and found this site. I have been Catholic all my life, went to Catholic school from K-8 grade and now have two beautiful daughters, my youngest of which has started Catholic school. However, I stopped attending confession after about 8th grade, and am ashamed to say that my life since then has included things I’m not very proud of. While I have tried very hard to overcome and stop sinful behaviors, it was not until recently, when I again began attending church regularly and taking my daughter to school that I began to notice a change in myself, my behaviors and my feelings over things I’ve done in my past. In short, I have changed and truly believe that this is through the power of my faith and for the first time in a long time, i am feeling better about myself and my relationship with God. However, I know that I need to go to confession in order to truly make peace with God over the things I have done, and I am scared as to what the priest will say. I am so ashamed over the things I have done in my past, mortal sins, and even when I would commit the sins, I was ashamed of myself and my actions and depressed to the point of developing an eating disorder over it. I know in my heart that those days of sin are behind me and I want to be a good and positive role model for my daughters, but I don’t know what to do about my fear of confession…it has been so long since I went…do I just go in and confess it all to the priest and go into specific details? And since this is the school/church that my daughter goes to, will he look at me differently after? Should I go to a different church to confess? I have been praying every day for a sign that God knows I am sorry and committed to living a good life and I feel he has answered me in some ways over the past few days, and now by finding this site. I guess I’m just looking for some advice 🙂

Thanks for reading this far if you made it. I’m sorry if I didn’t post right or something. but thanks for any encouragement you all can give me 🙂
 
I will doubtless be one of many to tell you this.

Welcome home, and dont sweat the confession!

There is almost certainly no individual sin you could confess that the priest hasn’t heard before.

So it has been a very long time for you. Think about it for a moment; which is more likely …
  1. The priest will explode out of his side of the confessional, scream at you, and drag you by the ear to the altar, berating you for having been away so long, or,
  2. The priest will hear your confession, give you some words of encouragement, and offer a silent prayer of thanks giving that he was the one who got to hear your confession and give you absolution.
if, like me, you believe #2 is more likely, then why worry?
 
Honey, I have been there and done that. And so have many others on this forum.

Any priest worth his salt will say “Welcome home!” and you will likely make their day.

You can likely summarize things pretty briefly. Let me guess, since I think these are pretty common: Bless me Father for I have sinned. It’s been 15 years since my last confession. I’ve missed Mass on many Sundays, I’ve used artificial contraception, and I had sex outside of marriage. One sentence. Three mortal sins. No gory details.

When I went back the priest did not gasp or fall out of his chair or even bat an eye for that matter. I was very relieved, but I’m sure he’s probably heard all of what I had to say and more before. The weight of the world lifted from my shoulders. He did not fuss. He did not tell me to never come back. I felt like someone had thrown a warm blanket around my shoulders and embraced me.

I went to a priest that I had known for years. I knew that it was Jesus I was confessing to, and that the priest just needed to be there. I wanted someone who I knew would welcome me with love and compassion that Jesus showed, and I knew he would. I never felt that he looked at me any differently. I’ve gone to other priests that I know fairly well, and it has never seemed to matter. I had one tell me that he was awed and humbled when people came to him to confess. However, you are certainly free to go wherever you want and to use a screen if you want. Whatever makes it easier for you.

Just go.

One of my favorite sites when I was trying to summon the courage to go (it took me a few months) was www.cmonback.com
 
I was in your shoes not so very long ago, and I have to say that as terrified as I was, hearing those words of absolution is the MOST amazing thing!

Your sins–no matter how big they might be–will come as no big shock to the priest. Stuff I absolutely agonized over was greeted with nothing more than a “uh huh” by my confessor. As funny as this sounds, I was almost a little offended that he WASN’T berating me. Didn’t he realize just how bad I’d blown it???

Confession is probably one of the best things you can do both for yourself and for your relationship with God. And it makes receiving the Eucharist that much more special.

I’ll be praying for you, my friend!! Please let us know how it goes. 😃
 
valerie1102 said:
Hi…I’m really new to these forums, but was looking for some place to get some advice and support and found this site. I have been Catholic all my life, went to Catholic school from K-8 grade and now have two beautiful daughters, my youngest of which has started Catholic school. However, I stopped attending confession after about 8th grade, and am ashamed to say that my life since then has included things I’m not very proud of. While I have tried very hard to overcome and stop sinful behaviors, it was not until recently, when I again began attending church regularly and taking my daughter to school that I began to notice a change in myself, my behaviors and my feelings over things I’ve done in my past. In short, I have changed and truly believe that this is through the power of my faith and for the first time in a long time, i am feeling better about myself and my relationship with God. However, I know that I need to go to confession in order to truly make peace with God over the things I have done, and I am scared as to what the priest will say. I am so ashamed over the things I have done in my past, mortal sins, and even when I would commit the sins, I was ashamed of myself and my actions and depressed to the point of developing an eating disorder over it. I know in my heart that those days of sin are behind me and I want to be a good and positive role model for my daughters, but I don’t know what to do about my fear of confession…it has been so long since I went…do I just go in and confess it all to the priest and go into specific details? And since this is the school/church that my daughter goes to, will he look at me differently after? Should I go to a different church to confess? I have been praying every day for a sign that God knows I am sorry and committed to living a good life and I feel he has answered me in some ways over the past few days, and now by finding this site. I guess I’m just looking for some advice 🙂

Thanks for reading this far if you made it. I’m sorry if I didn’t post right or something. but thanks for any encouragement you all can give me 🙂
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What is the priest likely to say? WELCOME BACK!!!

As for the confession, in my experience, the difficult confessions are the most graced, and the most personally “gratifying” – if one may use such a personal, subjective term for an objective and divine action.

The Lord is clearly going after your heart in a big way.

Go and make that confession. Do not mince words or talk around the issues. Just SAY it: clean and quick. The priest will expect to hear certain sins from a woman of your age and generation.

God love you! GO for it!
 
kristie_m said:
I was in your shoes not so very long ago, and I have to say that as terrified as I was, hearing those words of absolution is the MOST amazing thing!

Your sins–no matter how big they might be–will come as no big shock to the priest. Stuff I absolutely agonized over was greeted with nothing more than a “uh huh” by my confessor. As funny as this sounds, I was almost a little offended that he WASN’T berating me. Didn’t he realize just how bad I’d blown it???

Confession is probably one of the best things you can do both for yourself and for your relationship with God. And it makes receiving the Eucharist that much more special.

I’ll be praying for you, my friend!! Please let us know how it goes. 😃
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As a convert coming into the Church, I had to make a general confession (i.e., a whole life confesson). Man! I was in there for two hours. Best two hours of my life. Everything in my life is now valued as “before” and “after”. Nothing like it!
 
Don’t sweat it.

I was in the same boat a few months ago. Went to my 1st confession in 30 years, same thing as you last time was about the 8th grade. My life in the interim wasn’t that pretty either. I’m now trying to go at least once a month. To tell you the truth it’s a relief.

Call the rectory and set up an appointment for your first confession in a while.

The Holy Spirit is calling you back, welcome

God Bless.
 
I second making an appointment. While most parishes have scheduled confession on Saturday afternoon, returning to the Sacrament after a long absence may take longer than would be available on a Sat. Sitting and talking with the priest about things you’ve done witn no time limits will be much easier than thinking of possible people waiting outside.

And Welcome Home!

Peace,
Linda
 
“The priest will explode out of his side of the confessional, scream at you, and drag you by the ear to the altar, berating you for having been away so long”

Speaking as a former Baptist, this is how the sacrament would go if they had the sacrament of penance!!😃

Go to confession. The priest has heard everything and nothing is shocking to him. Tell him how long it has been since you have confessed and he will help you along if you ask him to do so. Just be honest with him and with the confession of all your mortal sins and everything will be fine. You will leave there with a feeling like a 200 pound ton of rocks has been lifted from your back. Christ gave us this sacrament for a reason. I often now wonder how I survived in the Baptist faith without the sacraments offered by the Catholic church.
 
Yes, don’t sweat the confession. The priest will be pleased that you’re there in the first place. Tell him, if you “forgot” how it goes, that you “forgot” how it goes. I do that since I get nervous when I’m in there…and I’m so relieved when it’s over (in a good way) that I’ve often forgotten what penance was assigned.
 
Thank you all sooooo much for taking the time to respond. You have made me feel so much better about this…and you’re all right of course 🙂 Just deciding to go to confession again, I already feel like a weight has been lifted…like God is helping me find my way and what he wants me to do. I’m checking with my church to see if I can get in on Monday perhaps for confession, because it will be my birthday on Monday and what better way to celebrate! (well, that and cake of course-lol).

Thank you again! I can’t tell you how glad I am to have found this site 🙂
 
valerie1102 said:
Thank you all sooooo much for taking the time to respond. You have made me feel so much better about this…and you’re all right of course 🙂 Just deciding to go to confession again, I already feel like a weight has been lifted…like God is helping me find my way and what he wants me to do. I’m checking with my church to see if I can get in on Monday perhaps for confession, because it will be my birthday on Monday and what better way to celebrate! (well, that and cake of course-lol).

Thank you again! I can’t tell you how glad I am to have found this site 🙂
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Happy early birthday to you! 🙂
 
valerie1102 said:
Thank you all sooooo much for taking the time to respond. You have made me feel so much better about this…and you’re all right of course 🙂 Just deciding to go to confession again, I already feel like a weight has been lifted…like God is helping me find my way and what he wants me to do. I’m checking with my church to see if I can get in on Monday perhaps for confession, because it will be my birthday on Monday and what better way to celebrate! (well, that and cake of course-lol).

Thank you again! I can’t tell you how glad I am to have found this site 🙂
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Here: you might need this. :tissues:

I know a priest (convert from the Lutheran church), who still doesn’t like to go to Confession. He does it down at one of those Franciscan places near Penn Station (where they hear confessons all day), and afterwards, he rewards himself with ice cream.

So be sure and have some along with your 🍰!
 
Maybe think about it like this; you are not going to confess your sins to the priest, but rather you are going to confess them to God. Now God already knows all of your sins, you are not telling him anything that He was not already aware of, and He wants to forgive you more than you want to be forgiven.

God loves you, God loves you, God loves you… let Him heal you, He does not want to hurt you. If the priest hurts you (which is very unlikely) then just ignore him; you did not go to tell the priest you were sorry, you went to tell God you were sorry.

Maybe think you are going to confession, not to put yourself down, but to come to know God’s love for you. His mercy is beyond description, and the only thing that will separate us from it is our own sinful choice.

Isaiah 1:18 “Come now, and let us reason together,” Says the LORD, "Though your sins are as scarlet, They will be as white as snow; Though they are red like crimson, They will be like wool

I hope this helps, I will pray for you
 
There is nothing to worry about; you’ll be whispering into the ear of God.

And don’t worry about the priest thinking anything about you afterwards. I have heard many priests say they forget what was confessed to them as soon as the person leaves the confessional.
 
mercygate said:
I know a priest (convert from the Lutheran church), who still doesn’t like to go to Confession. He does it down at one of those Franciscan places near Penn Station (where they hear confessons all day), and afterwards, he rewards himself with ice cream.
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Hey, sorry to be slightly OT, but does anbody know where this is? I have been hearing about “The Franciscans (Capuchans, I think) who hear confessions next to Penn Station” for years. I have looked aroud the Penn station area many times and can never find them. I think I first heard about them as excellent confessors in a Peggy Noonan column, but then could never find the reference.

Any NYC-literate people know the answer?
 
scaron said:
Hey, sorry to be slightly OT, but does anbody know where this is? I have been hearing about “The Franciscans (Capuchans, I think) who hear confessions next to Penn Station” for years. I have looked aroud the Penn station area many times and can never find them. I think I first heard about them as excellent confessors in a Peggy Noonan column, but then could never find the reference.

Any NYC-literate people know the answer?
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There are 2 churches down there. The OFM Cap Church is St. John the Baptist on 31st Street, and I think the other is St. Francis by the OFM. I just tried to look them up but the Yahoo yellow pages isn’t working. Good luck.
 
‘‘There is more rejoicing in heaven over one repentant sinner, than there is over 99 righteous men in no need of repetentance’’

Please remember that.

I had my First Confession the night before I received Confirmation when I came into the Church after the RCIA. I confessed very serious things, but was so glad to get them off my chest and move on in my life. Yes, I still regret them and do feel sorrow for them, however I know now that they have been forgiven. I must now press on and make up for lost time. The priest leaned back in the chair (it was in the sanctuary), closed his eyes, and nodded every time I mentioned anything. I was really nervous and left big silences, trying to justify what I had said, but anyway, I got it done. The priest gave me words of encouragement and some sound advice. And after the absolution, I felt wonderful as I was turning to get up and the priest smiled pleasantly and said ‘God bless you’. It was a great feeling and I try to make as much use of the sacrament as I can.

So good luck and I pray that it will work out for you.
 
Ah, the peace and grace that you will receive after the Sacrament of Reconcilation… it is so wonderful!

Go to confession and Welcome Home!!!
 
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