Scared I am going to hell, help?

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BlushingMango

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So, I am always going to confession because I am struggling with intrusive thoughts and mortal sins and I go when I know I have committed a mortal sin, but now I am really worried I am going to die and go to hell. The thing is, there is a family confession thing going on tonight and it’s for my brother’s religion class. If I go to it, I’m worried I will have to go again this Saturday so what’s the point, but if I don’t go, I’m worried I am going to die and go to hell because I didn’t make the right choice. I’m always scared of going to confession anyway, and I fear if I go too much, my mom is going to go make me get help that I don’t need. I really do not know what to do and I just really don’t want to go to hell because I didn’t go to confession that one time when I could have. I don’t know what kind of help I need with this issue but I just want to go to confession as little as I can so my mom doesn’t freak out about it all. 😦 I am just so stressed out about the whole thing and I am so scared I am going to die before I get the chance to go this Saturday. Prayers would really help too. Thanks.
 
My friend, you need to find a wise and holy priest to become your Spiritual Director. Please do this and obey him. It sounds like you may have a case of scruples and you need help to overcome that. I know, for I have lived it myself. It will interfere with all aspects of your life if it goes unchecked.

Praying,

God bless you.
 
BlushingMango said:
So, I am always going to confession because I am struggling with intrusive thoughts and mortal sins and I go when I know I have committed a mortal sin, but now I am really worried I am going to die and go to hell. The thing is, there is a family confession thing going on tonight and it’s for my brother’s religion class. If I go to it, I’m worried I will have to go again this Saturday so what’s the point, but if I don’t go, I’m worried I am going to die and go to hell because I didn’t make the right choice. I’m always scared of going to confession anyway, and** I fear if I go too much, my mom is going to go make me get help that I don’t need.** I really do not know what to do and I just really don’t want to go to hell because I didn’t go to confession that one time when I could have. I don’t know what kind of help I need with this issue but I just want to go to confession as little as I can so my mom doesn’t freak out about it all. 😦 I am just so stressed out about the whole thing and I am so scared I am going to die before I get the chance to go this Saturday. Prayers would really help too. Thanks.
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Maybe you would benefit from counseling to see if you have scrupulosity.
 
jaimeleglise said:
My friend, you need to find a wise and holy priest to become your Spiritual Director. Please do this and obey him. It sounds like you may have a case of scruples and you need help to overcome that. I know, for I have lived it myself. It will interfere with all aspects of your life if it goes unchecked.

Praying,

God bless you.
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I wish that was the case but it is not…
 
You should be seeking the help & guidance of a Priest & not people on the internet.
 
In my mind, there is no such thing as too much confession! Confession is a wonderful thing that our Lord Jesus Christ has given us. Sometimes I have to go several days in a row. The great thing, however, is that you can ask Father about your sins. The “sins” may in fact be only venial sins, not be sins at all! 🙂

Confession is great for clarification. My words of advice: ask lots of questions in regards to your sins! 👍
 
Start thinking about things differently. The concept of a God who is looking to condemn people to eternal and infinite torment for finite wrongs they might commit is irrational. As a fourth-grader, I recall asking the priest who taught us religion the following question:
“Father, if God knows from all eternity who will go to Heaven and who will go to Hell, why doesn’t he only make people who will go to Heaven?”
Believe me, there is no satisfactory answer to that question, because it involves free will, predestination, and God’s omnipotence and omniscience. Live a good life, as best you can–especially love and be loved, and no condemnation will find you.
I love my Catholic heritage, but I have found it does not contain the fullness of truth. God is beyond any human definitions and concepts, and he is not looking to throw you into eternal misery because you make mistakes–as all humans do.
In my youth, I entered a seminary to become a priest because I was absolutely convinced that the only way I could respond to the God who had given me everything was to dedicate my life in total service. Yet within a few years, I had not only left the seminary, I had become a complete atheist.
That did not last. After many years, I once again accepted the existence of God. However, I see him as a being beyond any human comprehension and wrote a book about it: God Exists (Not Mine, Not Yours). If you are a Catholic, you will find it challenging.
 
forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=1034775

Looking at the thread above you started in December, it appears these are recurring thoughts for you. At your age (14/15) there are a lot of changes going on which might factor in to your situation.

I too would suggest you speak to a Priest (let your mother know) and probably a session or two with a counselor just to check things out. There may be medication to help quell the intensity of your concerns.

God bless you and good luck with your difficulties.
 
While he was Pope, St. John Paul the Great went to confession as often as he could. Some say he went every day.

I also recommend reading Fr. Mike Schmitz’s blogs, especially on Confession. One of his lines that has helped me the most is that in going to Confession I’m not asking God to give me another chance. He calls me to Him in the Sacrament and in doing so is asking me to give Him another chance.

ncregister.com/daily-news/the-confessional-is-a-place-of-victory
lifeteen.com/blog/my-side-of-the-confessional-what-is-it-like-for-a-priest/
 
Melodeonist said:
In my mind, there is no such thing as too much confession! Confession is a wonderful thing that our Lord Jesus Christ has given us. Sometimes I have to go several days in a row. The great thing, however, is that you can ask Father about your sins. The “sins” may in fact be only venial sins, not be sins at all! 🙂

Confession is great for clarification. My words of advice: ask lots of questions in regards to your sins! 👍
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For someone who has scruples this is the opposite of what is advisable. Confession can become compulsive for the scrupulous, and it only feeds the condition.

To the OP: follow the advice others have given and take your troubles to a good priest, and perhaps seek counseling as well. You shouldn’t ask strangers on the internet because the multitude of opinions you will get could only be detrimental to your mental peace.

You are in my prayers.

-Fr ACEGC
 
We cannot take God for granted thinking, oh He is so good, i can just sin and he will forgive me.

Neither we can allow despair to take over. Both situation are very dangerous for our soul.

If you read Sister Faustina diary, you will see that Jesus gets very sad when we don’t trust in His Mercy.

He rewards on the effort not the success.

Here is what i recommend to you. Do the best fight you can to overcome sins, but if you do fall, get back on your feet, don’t get discourge and trust in God.

Don’t go to confession, unless you feel very bad about your sin and you are determine to change. Even though, i am determine to overcome my flaws, i am the first one to fall very quickly. When, i think of God’s Mercy, it gives me hope and i keep on trying. Pray the blessed Mother so she cans obtain for you the perfect graces for you.

Satan seems to be playing you, don’t let him win. When you have those thoughts, say “Jesus i trust in you”.

I pray for you
 
Please seek guidance from a priest! I will certainly keep you in prayer.
Our Lady of Mental Peace pray for us!
 
Until you find the help you need, consider printing this and reading it frequently.
God’s Wonderful Determination To Find Us

Another picture that our Lord loves to use is that of the shepherd who goes out to look for the sheep that is lost (Mt 18:12-14). So long as we imagine that it is we who have to look for God, then we must often lose heart. But it is the other way about: he is looking for us. And so we can afford to recognize that very often we are not looking for God; far from it, we are in full flight from him, in high rebellion against him. And he knows that and has taken it into account. He has followed us into our own darkness; there where we thought finally to escape him, we run straight into his arms.

So we do not have to erect a false piety for ourselves, to give us hope of salvation. Our hope is in his determination to save us. And he will not give in!

This should free us from that crippling anxiety which prevents any real growth, giving us room to do whatever we can do, to accept the small but genuine responsibilities that we do have. Our part is not to shoulder the whole burden of our salvation, the initiative and the program are not in our hands: our part is to consent, to learn how to love him in return whose love came to us so freely while we were quite uninterested in him.

Simon Tugwell, O.P. (Dominican)
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Ask to talk to a priest, outside of the confessional so you will have a longer session, or ask if you can talk about these things the next time you go to confession. Remember, intrusive thoughts will sometimes come, and just because the thought comes into your mind doesn’t necessarily mean it is a sin. It is what you do with that thought, you can remove it, turn from it, (Personally, I immediately pray the St. Michael prayer) or walk around it and away from it. I’m glad you asked what to do, because I was paralyzed from these thoughts for a very long time, and afraid to tell anyone, including a priest. I finally did, and that was the beginning of it not happening as often. God knows you are sorry and trying, but it sounds like you need a bit more help than that. If after a priest talks to you, and he thinks you are suffering from scruples, he will tell you what to do about it. He will give you ideas of what to do with your thoughts. Pick up your rosary and ask your heavenly Mama for help. She will help, also.
 
I would suggest to read St. Faustina’s diary on Divine Mercy … our Lord is very merciful.
 
Please remember this scripture below. It is the absolute truth. As long as you believe in Jesus Christ, your soul will not perish. (This is not to say that sin is ok, but rather that God is not a legalist)

John 3:16
For God so loved the world, as to give his only begotten Son; that whosoever believeth in him, may not perish, but may have life everlasting.

Furthermore…

I heard a pastor once say that life is not a game where you have to try to die without sin, that God does not expect perfection from us,** that all He really wants from us is an honest effort.**

God bless.
 
BlushingMango said:
So, I am always going to confession because I am struggling with intrusive thoughts and mortal sins and I go when I know I have committed a mortal sin, but now I am really worried I am going to die and go to hell. The thing is, there is a family confession thing going on tonight and it’s for my brother’s religion class. If I go to it, I’m worried I will have to go again this Saturday so what’s the point, but if I don’t go, I’m worried I am going to die and go to hell because I didn’t make the right choice. I’m always scared of going to confession anyway, and I fear if I go too much, my mom is going to go make me get help that I don’t need. I really do not know what to do and I just really don’t want to go to hell because I didn’t go to confession that one time when I could have. I don’t know what kind of help I need with this issue but I just want to go to confession as little as I can so my mom doesn’t freak out about it all. 😦 I am just so stressed out about the whole thing and I am so scared I am going to die before I get the chance to go this Saturday. Prayers would really help too. Thanks.
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Track how often you go to Confession (write it down as an option)… the more you see how often you go, the less chance you may want to go often if unnecessary. It is clear that your soul is being agitated by the feelings of worry in making mistakes- also known as scrupulosity in a sense, from your description. According to a “To Jesus Through Mary” (Mother of the Redeemer retreat house- Bloomington, IN) newsletter that Jesus & Our Lady (Mary) have mentioned- fear, worry, impatience, doubt aren’t from God… which means that you’re experiencing spiritual desolation, but you don’t have to. Most importantly, invite Jesus & Our Lady into your worries, fears, scrupulosity, sins & even before deciding to sin- pray before, during, & after each present moment of spiritual desolation (& when you experience spiritual consolations with the Holy Spirit)… invite Jesus & Our Lady into everything you experience- They won’t let you down… ask for guidance/direction & special graces to help withstand those temptations that continue to nag at you. These desolations you’re experiencing, well, you never have to experience it alone… because Jesus & Our Lady are always presently with us in each moment… God knows exactly what you need- trust Him thru His Son (Jesus) to teach you His Way deeper, His Truth deeper, & His Life deeper and Jesus’ Mother (Mary) to guide you to Her Son~ strive to put Christ at the center of your life & everything will fall into place according to God’s plan for you to get you to Heaven. Praying for you.

Sometimes when I fall into that scrupulosity trap of worry, fear, doubt again & again, I subconsciously overwhelm myself of going to confession often (like what you said) & getting mad at myself for committing that particular mortal sin over & over again, but it only internally & physically tires me out and tries to suck the life out of me… in those desolation moments I try to remind myself to pray right then because it makes such a big difference- the worry, fear, doubt go away the more I pray & lean on Christ for faith, hope, & love above all. It can happen to you similar to it continuing to happen to me the more I find Christ deeper (for there’s no greater adventure), seek Christ deeper (for there’s no greater achievement), and learn to truly love Christ deeper (for there’s no greater romance). God is good all the time & all the time God is good. God knows & loves you more than we all truly know & love ourselves. God is love in & of itself and His Will for you is to get to Heaven to be with Him in paradise- Trust Him, let the Holy Spirit help guide you daily & virtuously~ and see what happens. Even in our daily struggles can we still experience God’s presence presently with us, being there with us tenderly and lovingly unconditionally… surprisingly in our difficulties is God earnestly there to catch us when we stumble- reminds me of the Footprints in the Sand prayer with Christ, if ya know what I mean.
 
In his commentary on the Book of Song of Songs, Bernard of Clairvaux writes that Christ has two feet which are planted firmly in our lives. These two feet are Justice and Mercy. They allow us to tread the Way which is Him-Who-Loves-Us. In our earthly journey. We must always be aware at how tightly we cling to either foot. As St. Thomas Aquinas states “Virtus in media res,” meaning, “Virtue lies in the middle.” When we find ourselves clinging too tightly to the Justice of Christ, (that is, the responsibility as followers of Christ to follow his Word at all times and the punishment reserved for those who reject that law), we must throw ourselves upon the foot of Mercy. So too, when we are too focused upon the Mercy of God and become lax in the morality of our day to day actions, we must throw ourselves upon the foot of Justice in an attempt to bring ourselves back to the balance, the virtue in the middle, that allows us to tread upon the Way to salvation.

It seems that you are clinging too steadfastly to the foot of Justice. While it may simply be colloquialism, the fact that you describe the Sacrament as ‘Confession’ also points to this focus upon Justice. The first step I would recommend for you is to stop addressing the Sacrament as ‘Confession’ or ‘Penance’ but rather ‘Reconciliation’. The terms Confession and Penance focus upon the Justice of Christ. They describe the admission of faults and failings and the reparations that must be made to return to the Grace of our Lord. The term Reconciliation focuses upon the divine gift of Mercy. It is a re-entering into the new life in Christ which He bestows upon us through the Holy Spirit at Baptism. In this view, the actual confession of sins becomes our readiness to cast away our faults and failings, to leave everything behind to follow the Lord. The act of penance becomes, not reparation, but an outpouring of Love of the penitent to Christ, an act to show Him that we wish to endure in this life of grace which he has, yet again, bestowed upon us.

Next, I would suggest, as our Brothers and Sisters have previously advised, to speak with a priest about becoming your spiritual director. If possible, I would seek out an older priest for this ministry, even if they are officially ‘retired’ (sometimes these retired priests make the best spiritual directors). You can make your confession within the context of your spiritual direction and the priest will be more able to address the specific issues you have with regard to sin.

Believe me when I say that I have been in your position about fear of Hell. What really helped me was something I learned in my religious ed. classes. There are two types of sorrow for sins. Both are equally valid for a true Reconciliation but Christ accepts one but truly desires the other. They are known as imperfect and perfect contrition. Imperfect contrition is sorrow for sins because you are afraid of hell or simply want to go to heaven. Christ accepts this. He truly desires Perfect contrition. This is when the soul seeks to do Christ’s will, not out of fear of hell or desire for heaven, but because he or she simply loves Him who they follow. It is the difference between concern for our own futures and concern for Him-Who-Loves-Us, our true Friend. I would suggest trying to turn your focus away from heaven or hell and toward your personal relationship with Christ.

The realization that Christ is a real person who wishes a true relationship with me instead of simply the Judge and King of Creation is what helped me find any balance between His feet of Justice and Mercy and set me upon His Way.

God Bless,
Br. Ben
 
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