Scared of babies?!?

[PrincessRenae]

So, I had the weirdest dream last night-

My fiance and I were married and we had a baby–but it was very large, quite unsightly, and had a full head of brown hair, even though it was a newborn. Anyway, we were home and friends were coming over to see it, but I kept forgetting where it was and kept leaving it in odd places, but mostly the closet. It finally occurred to me that I had to keep it by my side at all times, so I tried it and it was utterly exhausting. I couldn’t do anything else besides sit with this baby.
I woke up feeling weird and scared. It sort of shook me up a little bit. I really felt like people were crazy to have babies.

Now I’m just full of doubts. I’ve never felt a strong urge to have children and neither has my fiance. How can I in good conscience get married in the church feeling this way about babies? I can’t imagine having one and it seems terrifying and I am way too scared to have one even if I really wanted one. I feel guilty because we told the deacon at my church that we don’t really have a permanent intention against them, but as time passes it just seems like something I never want to do and am nowhere near capable of.

What do I do? I don’t want to convert because I like being Catholic, but I feel like I can’t abide by this rule.

 

[Vico]

So, I had the weirdest dream last night-

My fiance and I were married and we had a baby–but it was very large, quite unsightly, and had a full head of brown hair, even though it was a newborn. Anyway, we were home and friends were coming over to see it, but I kept forgetting where it was and kept leaving it in odd places, but mostly the closet. It finally occurred to me that I had to keep it by my side at all times, so I tried it and it was utterly exhausting. I couldn’t do anything else besides sit with this baby.
I woke up feeling weird and scared. It sort of shook me up a little bit. I really felt like people were crazy to have babies.

Now I’m just full of doubts. I’ve never felt a strong urge to have children and neither has my fiance. How can I in good conscience get married in the church feeling this way about babies? I can’t imagine having one and it seems terrifying and I am way too scared to have one even if I really wanted one. I feel guilty because we told the deacon at my church that we don’t really have a permanent intention against them, but as time passes it just seems like something I never want to do and am nowhere near capable of.

What do I do? I don’t want to convert because I like being Catholic, but I feel like I can’t abide by this rule.

It if is a positive intention to not grant just conjugal relations, then no valid marriage is possible.

The married willingly give the gift of conjugal relations with two purposes – the good of children and the good of the spouses. The couple does not have to desire children, but must not unjustly abstain from conjugal relations or unjustly avoid pregnancy through natural family planning . There are some just reasons (social, economic, eugenic, and medical) to avoid conjugal relations entirely or use the naturally infertile times exclusively.

 

[ClearWater]

So, I had the weirdest dream last night-

My fiance and I were married and we had a baby–but it was very large, quite unsightly, and had a full head of brown hair, even though it was a newborn. Anyway, we were home and friends were coming over to see it, but I kept forgetting where it was and kept leaving it in odd places, but mostly the closet. It finally occurred to me that I had to keep it by my side at all times, so I tried it and it was utterly exhausting. I couldn’t do anything else besides sit with this baby.
I woke up feeling weird and scared. It sort of shook me up a little bit. I really felt like people were crazy to have babies.

Now I’m just full of doubts. I’ve never felt a strong urge to have children and neither has my fiance. How can I in good conscience get married in the church feeling this way about babies? I can’t imagine having one and it seems terrifying and I am way too scared to have one even if I really wanted one. I feel guilty because we told the deacon at my church that we don’t really have a permanent intention against them, but as time passes it just seems like something I never want to do and am nowhere near capable of.

What do I do? I don’t want to convert because I like being Catholic, but I feel like I can’t abide by this rule.

DANG! That was SOME dream! Sounds scary, upsetting!

I´m not sure what to recommend in a case like that. I´m sorry about the dream and hope it will work itself out well somehow.

Wish I knew what to advise.

 

[ClearWater]

I´ve heard it said that we sometimes have doubts and that a lot of pregnant women, even, have had similar dreams, seemingly about their fears and doubts coming to light. Generally, they are just dreams, fears and doubts, and most women have kids and are actually fine. Later, they often forget all about the dreams. The dreams, themselves, I understand, can be quite upsetting, even frightening, at times, though.

I think it’s actually sort of common with doubts…not sure if it´s that or something deeper, as you say.

Seems I once heard, or read somewhere, that some speculated these dreams helped prepare women, psychologically, mentally, and emotionally, in some way, or so they thought. That was one theory.

 

[CatholicRaven]

Do you normally take dreams so seriously, or was this one just so upsetting that you couldn’t ignore it?

Considering the last line of your post, I really think you should speak to your Deacon or priest about your concerns.

 

[racheljohnson]

Your dream sounds very similar to dreams that I have had regarding stress. Take a deep breath and trust God to guide you. As to regarding your views on having children, it’s okay! God doesn’t call everyone to have kids. If you really do not want children, that’s probably not your plan; however, this does not mean that you should use contraceptives or anything that could potentially prohibit the birth of a child. Keep in mind that preventing life is a sin, but simply not wanting to have children is no reason to convert from Catholicism