Scared of my cross

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ineedofmercy

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My cross is the form of emotion pain by embarrassment and awkwardness

I need to tell my parents I need to go confession for my many mortal sins and stop receiving communion unworthily

I’m so afraid of being teased or them getting the wrong idea or thinking of me that way

It’s depressing and it’s seems almost instinctual to avoid hurting myself emotionally

A priest gave a homily on the cross today and almost cried in front of everyone
“No one likes to suffer but connect it to God to make it worth it”
“He who wishes to save his life will lose it”
“If you suffering is bigger than this church than God has given you that much grace to bring you through”

I almost lost it at these
I want to spare myself but can’t because my cross must be picked up to save me but it will hurt me
I can’t seem to force myself to do it

Sometimes I wish that God gave my life to someone that deserves/wants it more than me
I see old people and others smiling being religious and think they deserve my time more than me

I can’t seem to get brave
I want to be happy and enjoy my leftover childhood but also do be a good Catholic and save my soul
I know heaven can heal any pain but I think if I hurt my life I won’t want to go the rest of the way

I’m scared and in a depressing state of sin and fear
No one seems to get or see what I mean
I need help
 
Is there any reason to believe your family wouldn’t take you to confession? You don’t need to go into specifics, you just need to tell them that you feel the need.

For me, I can honestly tell you that the way you feel now, is how I start to feel when I haven’t been to confession in awhile. I feel that way now, I know I’m due- it’s been a little over a month.

You know why you need to get there. God knows you do too. Your family, doesn’t need to know why- all they need to know is that someone they love needs it… and they should get you there.

Just take a deep breath, and relax. Pray a rosary (that always helps me). Ask for the Holy Spirit to come and help you find the words, as well as to help your family member receive it as they should.

God Bless you, I hope you make it there soon
 
People here keep telling you to speak with your parents about this. CAF may become a crutch for you to limp on in your ways. Either talk with a priest IN DEPTH about this or talk to your parents. You can do it! They will understand.
 
I would love too talk to my parents but it’s what I’m afraid of

They’re not as serious as I am and it will be really awkward and change their view of me

We try to go to confession once a year so me asking to go makes them get a curious questions/interrogation usually laughingly

They don’t know how hurtful that is
My brother says that’s why he doesn’t ask to go to confession because he says the will assume the worst and ruin their look on us

I would love to talk to a priest but its harder than it sounds and I can’t seem to break out and say it
 
It doesn’t sound like his parents are very understanding. Maybe they don’t mean to be cruel but they are being insensitive.

OP, is it possible at all for you to call the priest when you’re away from home, set up an appointment during the daytime or whenever your family wouldn’t think it odd that you are out, and walk or take a bus to the church? Then they’d never have to know. And if you can explain the rest of the situation to the priest and ask what to do if you are in a bind like you are now.

My confessions as a teenager were difficult and I had a lot of embarrassment too, and nervousness. But it will get easier when you’re old enough to provide your own transportation and not having to reveal where you’re going to your family.
 
I understand what you mean.

If you can’t get to a parish during normal confession times, may I suggest the following:
  1. call the parish and speak with Father (if you can’t talk to him privately after mass).
  2. schedule a time with him AFTER mass on Sunday for confession. Simply tell you parents after mass that you need to speak with Father and then have your confession.
Or simply start talking to your parents about Confession (not that you need to go, but about how important it is to attend regularly).

There are some Lighthouse Catholic Media CDs/MP3 you could get on Confession to help you speak with your parents or to give to them. Simply use the link below and search for “confession”

Feel free to ask more questions here, but you really need to speak with Father when you can and explain the situation. He should be able to guide you.

God Bless
 
3DOCTORS said:
It doesn’t sound like his parents are very understanding. Maybe they don’t mean to be cruel but they are being insensitive.

OP, is it possible at all for you to call the priest when you’re away from home, set up an appointment during the daytime or whenever your family wouldn’t think it odd that you are out, and walk or take a bus to the church? Then they’d never have to know. And if you can explain the rest of the situation to the priest and ask what to do if you are in a bind like you are now.

My confessions as a teenager were difficult and I had a lot of embarrassment too, and nervousness. But it will get easier when you’re old enough to provide your own transportation and not having to reveal where you’re going to your family.
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You got it
They won’t understand and probs guess I was watching porn and be mean without knowing it
My parents don’t let me go places alone
I hope they do soon because I would go every week when possible
I know lots of priests but my parents usually wanna go and get out and keep me in sight
It’s more my mom than my dad but my mom can lean my dad to he non intentionally over ruling side

I want to ride my bike there
I’ve been trying to bring up confession just to put it in their heads and God has been helping with that because I hear the word more now

I’m sure if I made an appointment my parents would over react why I didn’t tell then first
 
phil19034 said:
I understand what you mean.

If you can’t get to a parish during normal confession times, may I suggest the following:
  1. call the parish and speak with Father (if you can’t talk to him privately after mass).
  2. schedule a time with him AFTER mass on Sunday for confession. Simply tell you parents after mass that you need to speak with Father and then have your confession.
Or simply start talking to your parents about Confession (not that you need to go, but about how important it is to attend regularly).

There are some Lighthouse Catholic Media CDs/MP3 you could get on Confession to help you speak with your parents or to give to them. Simply use the link below and search for “confession”

Feel free to ask more questions here, but you really need to speak with Father when you can and explain the situation. He should be able to guide you.

God Bless
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My parents would probably get mad if I set that up and they didn’t know
This stuff is good but my situation makes it outrageously difficult
I got such a weird cross I know but it’s the worst thing ever for my life yet
 
ineedofmercy said:
I need to tell my parents I need to go confession for my many mortal sins and stop receiving communion unworthily

I’m so afraid of being teased or them getting the wrong idea or thinking of me that way
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Your parents will love you no matter what. Even if they do judge you for needing to go to confession, so what? You will be mending your relationship with God. That is the most important thing for us humans to do.

You know what the right thing to do is, you just need to do it. Unfortunately you are the only one who can do it, not your brother, parents, priest, or us.

I will pray for you!!
 
By no means am I an expert in theology, but I have a parable I keep on my fridge about a man carrying his cross when he cries out to God saying that it is too much of a burden for him. So God takes his cross and places it in a corner and tells him he can choose another. The man gazes upon the crosses in the room that seem immense, when his gaze falls upon a small cross and he asks for that one. God replies, that was the one you came in with. The point of the parable and what I am trying to say is God is good, He knows how much you can take. I feel that I am so often challenged by lifes needs and chaotic nature, but I realize that God is some how trying to make me better. We are not to live a life that is complacent with simple pleasures such as good food or entertainment. These are the ways of the world. Take courage my friend, pick up your cross! It is a long and difficult road, but Paradise is worth the troubles that life might give. Talk with your parents and your priest as they will most likely have had the same feeling at one point in their lives.

PAX
~Alpha
 
Friend, the church recommends regular confession, whether in mortal sin or not. Tell yr parents y would like to make a regular confession (maybe once a month? Your parents may Agee to this if it is not too inconvenient) shows them a few quotes so they think you are trying to become more holy. Which you are. See the quote from the catechism of the Catholic Church. Also the wiki article. I do not believe you must tell them you are in mortal sin, it is not their right to know.

1458 Without being strictly necessary, confession of everyday faults (venial sins) is nevertheless strongly recommended by the Church.59 Indeed the regular confession of our venial sins helps us form our conscience, fight against evil tendencies, let ourselves be healed by Christ and progress in the life of the Spirit. By receiving more frequently through this sacrament the gift of the Father’s mercy, we are spurred to be merciful as he is merciful:60

There is even a Wikipedia article!
en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frequent_confession
 
Why not go to church alone one day, find a priest and ask for confession? My family does not know how often I go to confession, and if I want to go immediately/asap, I would tell them I’m going out for a while and then go to church 🙂

Like the other day, (sunday), after we all went for mass in the morning, i went to church around 5.30pm for confession. Of course it depends on how old you are (I mean if you are very young your parents might want to know all of the details whenever you leave the house)
 
I hope your brother will also think likewise then you can be allies in helping your parents see that it’s OK to let their children do this, without them “having an opinion” on it.

(Also they shouldn’t bat an eyelid if you want to sit out communion.)

Our Father said.
 
I think some of these responses show a lack of insight into just how difficult a position this young fellow is in. Come on, people, this is the Year of Mercy. How can we help this person find a way to experience that mercy in the Sacrament of Reconciliation when his parents are not only unhelpful but actually adding to his troubles? Again, they may not be meaning to be bad people, we can’t make that call, but some of the things are putting major obstacles in his path.

They won’t allow him to go places on his own. Now again we don’t know why; he may be young, they may live in a place where it’s not safe - in any case they control his comings and goings. So walking, bicycling, taking a bus to confession, none of those options are available to him. He is dependent upon them to take him. Unless perhaps a grandparent or other relative could, the parents are his only option.

Which would present no great problem - except that they have demonstrated an attitude of making intrusive comments when he asks to go. And they notice if he doesn’t take Communion. So he’s between a rock and a hard place. He would like to do the right thing, and obtain the graces to overcome a sinful pattern - which is so much easier to do if one can nip it in the bud. Let’s show him some compassion and encouragement and keep him in our prayers that God will provide a solution to his dilemma. As our Holy Father Francis has pointed out, the Church is not a hotel for saints but a field hospital for sinners.

OP, you will be in my prayers. As will all young people in similar difficulties. I wish I could help you directly, but prayer will be answered. Hang in there.
 
3DOCTORS said:
I think some of these responses show a lack of insight into just how difficult a position this young fellow is in. Come on, people, this is the Year of Mercy. How can we help this person find a way to experience that mercy in the Sacrament of Reconciliation when his parents are not only unhelpful but actually adding to his troubles? Again, they may not be meaning to be bad people, we can’t make that call, but some of the things are putting major obstacles in his path.
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I don’t see any rude replies on this thread. Every comment has been supportive and some have encouraged him to speak to his parents or a priest. 🤷

Since none of us know the exact situation, it would be in his best interest to try to connect with a priest via phone if he cant leave the house. I whole heartedly believe everyone who commented wants the best for this young man and his family.
 
3DOCTORS said:
I think some of these responses show a lack of insight into just how difficult a position this young fellow is in. Come on, people, this is the Year of Mercy. How can we help this person find a way to experience that mercy in the Sacrament of Reconciliation when his parents are not only unhelpful but actually adding to his troubles? Again, they may not be meaning to be bad people, we can’t make that call, but some of the things are putting major obstacles in his path.

They won’t allow him to go places on his own. Now again we don’t know why; he may be young, they may live in a place where it’s not safe - in any case they control his comings and goings. So walking, bicycling, taking a bus to confession, none of those options are available to him. He is dependent upon them to take him. Unless perhaps a grandparent or other relative could, the parents are his only option.

Which would present no great problem - except that they have demonstrated an attitude of making intrusive comments when he asks to go. And they notice if he doesn’t take Communion. So he’s between a rock and a hard place. He would like to do the right thing, and obtain the graces to overcome a sinful pattern - which is so much easier to do if one can nip it in the bud. Let’s show him some compassion and encouragement and keep him in our prayers that God will provide a solution to his dilemma. As our Holy Father Francis has pointed out, the Church is not a hotel for saints but a field hospital for sinners.

OP, you will be in my prayers. As will all young people in similar difficulties. I wish I could help you directly, but prayer will be answered. Hang in there.
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You got very accurate the reasons of this thank you
I’m 15 so I’m hoping they let me go their myself soon
I’m afraid of how they will act about it and they questions they will bombard me with unintentionally hurting me

My brother says he thinks they would do it too
I don’t want my brother knowing what I did because I fear how let down he would be because we both hate porn but I feel into it sadly
I would rather him know than my parents because they wouldn’t understand

I scared that after I do it everyone will see my a but different and it would be a time until they stop it which will be torture

My life is hard as it is I’m afraid picking up this cross will make it too much and kill any hope I have left for anything good on this earth

I just want this go away and be to go back to being the helpful person I am with and anchor on my back 24/7/365
 
Lea101 said:
Why not go to church alone one day, find a priest and ask for confession? My family does not know how often I go to confession, and if I want to go immediately/asap, I would tell them I’m going out for a while and then go to church 🙂

Like the other day, (sunday), after we all went for mass in the morning, i went to church around 5.30pm for confession. Of course it depends on how old you are (I mean if you are very young your parents might want to know all of the details whenever you leave the house)
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I wish I could but at the moment I can’t do that yet
I’ve asked to ride my bike places before but I haven’t been allowed to yet
Sometimes it’s depressing to think I have to wait for my life to be easier to fix
And put part of my faith on hold because of my fear of what other people say and do

Emotional pain is scarier to me than physical pain and would prefer physical pain usually rather than this
 
3DOCTORS said:
How can we help this person find a way to experience that mercy in the Sacrament of Reconciliation when his parents are not only unhelpful but actually adding to his troubles? Again, they may not be meaning to be bad people, we can’t make that call, but some of the things are putting major obstacles in his path.
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Respectfully, we don’t know a thing about his parents.

Encouraging underage children to perceive their parents in a negative light is absolutely far, far beyond the business of anyone on this forum.
 
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