Scared/worried about going to reconciliation

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anne87

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My little sister is making confirmation and she asked me to be her sponsor and I’m so excited and honored. The confirmation class leader has told us that we all have to go to reconciliation. The issue is that I’m 21 and I haven’t gone to reconciliation since I first did it in the 2nd grade, and one of my confessions would be…masturbation. I’m scared, embarrassed, nervous…but my sister really wants me to go. I don’t know what to think. How do I get over my fear? I’m tempted to not go and say I did, but I would feel bad about that. Words of wisdom, advice, prayers, motivation, whatever, would all be appreciated.
 
Anne,

Do not be afraid. One thing to keep in mind is a gift that may priests say they have. They cannot recall confessions. In addition, priests have pretty much heard it all. Please, I encourage you to go to confessions. There is nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed about. The only requirements are that you are sincerely sorry and are resolved not to repeat those sins again.
 
anne87 said:
My little sister is making confirmation and she asked me to be her sponsor and I’m so excited and honored. The confirmation class leader has told us that we all have to go to reconciliation. The issue is that I’m 21 and I haven’t gone to reconciliation since I first did it in the 2nd grade, and one of my confessions would be…masturbation. I’m scared, embarrassed, nervous…but my sister really wants me to go. I don’t know what to think. How do I get over my fear? I’m tempted to not go and say I did, but I would feel bad about that. Words of wisdom, advice, prayers, motivation, whatever, would all be appreciated.
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Anne,

Do not be afraid. You can admit it to us here, God surely knows your heart and will forgive you. The priest is just there as God’s instrument, not to judge you.

Please take this opportunity to go back to the sacrament. I, also, waited a very long time after my first confession before I went back. Imagine 16 years of all sorts of sins! It took a serious crisis in my life to get me past all that apathy after such a long absence. Please, listen to the way God is speaking to you through this situation and go to confession! You will feel so relieved afterwards. You can do this.

God bless you,
 
Sadly, it is not uncommon these days for people make their first confession and not go back for many years. If you just tell the priest your situation, he will be able to help you through the confession. Don’t hold anything back out of fear or embarrassment - that would invalidate your confession. And once you’ve done it, you’ll feel wonderful, I promise.

And finally, don’t stop going - try it several times a year or even more often, and you’ll be amazed at your spiritual growth.

Congratulations to you and your sister.

Betsy
 
baltobetsy said:
Sadly, it is not uncommon these days for people make their first confession and not go back for many years. If you just tell the priest your situation, he will be able to help you through the confession. Don’t hold anything back out of fear or embarrassment - that would invalidate your confession. And once you’ve done it, you’ll feel wonderful, I promise.

And finally, don’t stop going - try it several times a year or even more often, and you’ll be amazed at your spiritual growth.

Congratulations to you and your sister.

Betsy
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I second you. Betsy. I now try to keep to a monthly confession schedule. It is no longer stressful or scary, and it keeps me so much closer to God. Confession really is a gift from God. Praying for you, Anne.
 
Priests have heard the worst of the worst, and treat their penitents with compassion.

You will not surprise the priest with a sin so horrible that he’ll run for his life.

I remember reading about a guy who set the record. He went 95 years without a confession. Can you imagine 95 years of sin?
 
Some time back I ran a class for adults who wished to be confirmed. One had been away from the Faith since grade school. I had to work a bit to get her into the confessional, but she came out beaming. She told me that she started with “Bless me Father, my last confession was 25 years ago.” He replied, " Then just hit the high points." 😉
 
Anne87 you need to go to confession I know how scary it can be to go at times I suffer from the same problem of masturbation and I’m 27. You need to go and if you have received our Lord in communion while you were in the sin of masturbation and did not go to confession then you doubly hurt our Lord by compounding your mortal sin in to sins. From what you have said so far it sounds like our Lord is calling you back to him using your sister’s confirmation. Go to him.
 
Don’t be afraid! To make it easier, pretend you are in confession talking to the priest and saying your sins out loud a few days before you go. Once you say it out loud to yourself, it will be easier to say it when you actually get in there. :cool:
 
Confession stumps a lot of people, you are not the only one who feels this way. It can be scary to tell a priest what we have done and why we did it, fearing that we will be judged by the priest for this or what else we are confessing. I know for me I have to say a pray before I enter the confessional. It scares me to walk in, I even get nervous. The Priests wants to help you which is what he is there for, you might want to consider seeking advice in the confessional or outside the confessional with your confessor, It might ease the worries you have when you go to confession. I learned as a convert, nothing I say to the priest I am confessing to he has not already heard before, we all have that one sin that could hang us up. When we get off our chest we realize it was not as bad as it seemed. One other thing that might help you is to read up on confession,.
 
anne87

Congratulations! You have made enough of an impression on a young person that she wants you to sponsor her (and stand with her) in one of the biggest moments in her life to date. This is a difficult thing to do. Young people see through the facade we all build between us and the world and see us as we really are.👍

Keep this in mind as you look at your failings.

As a sense of proportion, I recently returned to the Church after a hiatus of somewhere between 30-40 years. Imagine if you will: “Bless me father for I have sinned. It have been over 30 years since my last confession and I cannot remember how to do this”. :eek: That was me. Scarey? yes. Nervious, you might say that. It was a wonderful feeling when I finished and recieved absolution.

Who cares what the priest thinks of me? I’m worried about what God thinks and He already knows all this stuff.

Patrick
 
You don’t have to go into the gory details, either. I’ve seen several examinations of conscience that just said, “Impure acts by myself” on this particular point.
 
Anne - your particular sin of impurity is something that 90% of men and 70% of women have committed (and therefore 90% of Catholic men and 70% of Catholic women penitents have brought to confession) at some point in their lives. It would almost certainly have to be the most commonly confessed of all the mortal sins, so be assured that your priest would’ve heard it many many times before.

Remember firstly that your priest goes to confession himself - he knows how difficult it can be, he knows what you might be be feeling and thinking. You can even start out by saying ‘I’m a bit nervous’ - it will probably help you and him if you do so.

Secondly remember that in confession you are going to the Divine physician to heal the illnesses of your soul. Could you imagine ever going to your MD and not telling them something that was seriously wrong with your health out of embarrassment? How could you possibly hope to be healed without complete honesty?
 
phoage said:
. . .
As a sense of proportion, I recently returned to the Church after a hiatus of somewhere between 30-40 years. Imagine if you will: “Bless me father for I have sinned. It have been over 30 years since my last confession and I cannot remember how to do this”. :eek: That was me. Scarey? yes. Nervious, you might say that. It was a wonderful feeling when I finished and recieved absolution. . . .k
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You are way short of a record. 😃

I accompanied our priest when he said a monthly mass a local nursing home. One lady [100 + years old] professed to be non-Catholic but always sat in. After several months it came out that she had married out side the Church when her husband to be was leaving for WII about 1940. She decided to come return; so he heard her confession.

She died peacefully in her sleep a few weeks later.
 
anne87 said:
My little sister is making confirmation and she asked me to be her sponsor and I’m so excited and honored. The confirmation class leader has told us that we all have to go to reconciliation. The issue is that I’m 21 and I haven’t gone to reconciliation since I first did it in the 2nd grade, and one of my confessions would be…masturbation. I’m scared, embarrassed, nervous…but my sister really wants me to go. I don’t know what to think. How do I get over my fear? I’m tempted to not go and say I did, but I would feel bad about that. Words of wisdom, advice, prayers, motivation, whatever, would all be appreciated.
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I am an assistant with our parish RCIA program. I am thrilled that your sister asked you to be her sponsor. What a blessing! I do have a concern that if you have not been to confession since your second grade (would that have been your first communion?) that you are not confirmed. This is the third rite of initiation and I don’t think that you can sponsor a confirmand if you are not a Catholic in good standing with the church. Please seek advice on this issue and please most definately take advantage of the sacrament of reconciliation. I can tell that this is a burden on your conscience. Can you just imagine what you will feel like when you receive absolution from the priest??!!??? Your sins will be gone! You will be pure, at least until you get into your car and cuss at the guy who nearly runs into you! (laugh here).

My priest once said this about a person’s nervousness about confessing sins;
You will not be telling him something that you have not already confessed to your bartender or hairdresser. In this case, you have already confessed to a large community on this forum.

Did you think about going to confession at another parish? You don’t have to confess to the priest at your parish. Anyone will do. 🙂
 
anne87 said:
My little sister is making confirmation and she asked me to be her sponsor and I’m so excited and honored. The confirmation class leader has told us that we all have to go to reconciliation. The issue is that I’m 21 and I haven’t gone to reconciliation since I first did it in the 2nd grade, and one of my confessions would be…masturbation. I’m scared, embarrassed, nervous…but my sister really wants me to go. I don’t know what to think. How do I get over my fear? I’m tempted to not go and say I did, but I would feel bad about that. Words of wisdom, advice, prayers, motivation, whatever, would all be appreciated.
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I’m in the same boat as you. The priest is there to help. But, if you are really embarrassed consider going behind a screen to take some of the nervousness off. I find that a lot easier. I will pray that things go well.

-Jeanne
 
👍 I’m also a little scared of going to confession, but I think I’ll finally go next week. I almost went two weeks ago during Eucharistic Adoration, but didn’t. I agree that the priests have heard it all before. I work in an emergency room, and I too have seen and heard a lot as well. The thing is, when you’re in certain situations, people just forget about that worry and embarrassment, because they just want to get help and be “fixed”. The priest/doctor/nurse/etc. won’t make fun of you for your mistakes, but will simply help you get through them.

Good luck!
 
My dear friend

If your humiliated you’ll be more humble afterwards. Don’t be scraed but rejoice at the opportunity to come back to life if needs be. Sometimes God will let us fall to humble us. Pride is the worst sin and disposition and God must crush this out of us. The ways He does this are many. priide is at the root of all sin and precedes all sins. You are talking to God in the confessional too. Do not worry what the priest thinks. He is just a mediator. God knows all anyway. He loves you insanely and has brought about this event so He can be with you and live in you, and for your own good so you can go to heaven. He wants you with Him in heaven later. He can’t live without you. Just go and tell your Heavenly Father - i’m sorry Dad. Don’t worry about the priest because it’s the demons who stir up these doubts and fears. The priest has heard it all a million times anyway. Do it to make God happy and He’ll rejoice His lost child has returned. We are all sinners in need of forgiveness, not just you,. The priest is a sinner too. I’ll pray for you.

God bless you:thumbsup:🙂
John
 
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