Scared

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Help2

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My fiance is threatening to commit suicide AGAIN… I am so tired of keeping watch on him every time he does this… My daughter and i are gonna lose sleep tonight to take turns getting up to check on him… ;(
Im sick to my stomach. And scared in my own home.
I go through this at least once a week. Im tired of this cycle. :((
 
I have no advice to offer, but I will send up prayers for you!
 
Do you have a place to go? Can you take your daughter and leave? I read only some of your other thread, and this man is abusive, manipulative, and controlling. How many times has he threatened this? Are you afraid for your own safety at his hands?
 
Yes. Yes. And yes. Hundreds if times. Every time he feels hurt because i make him feel unloved or unwanted. Every time i put watching the Catholic channel over covering him in kisses. Every time i dont give him full attention. Too many times 😦
 
In my own home, im terrified. I jump every time he walks into the same room im in because my first thoughts are, hes gonna strangle me to death, then take his own life. He is very possessive of me. Id rather stay than leave and cause another life. :"(
 
Do not think like this. Protect yourself and you daughter. Take her and leave, do it tonight. Call the Sucide hotline if you wish and go to a hotel or a friend’s house or your Church or a family member or whatever but I would advise you to leave NOW.
 
You need to call the police. Right now. It’s late, maybe he’s already asleep. Take your daughter into your room, lock the door, and call the police. Tell them he is threatening suicide if you leave, and you are afraid for your life.

You cannot stay in this situation. He is not your responsibility- you have an obligation to your daughter to get out of this NOW. He needs to be taken for psychiatric watch, or jail time, depending on how much he has done.
 
Help2 said:
My fiance is threatening to commit suicide AGAIN… I am so tired of keeping watch on him every time he does this… My daughter and i are gonna lose sleep tonight to take turns getting up to check on him… ;(
Im sick to my stomach. And scared in my own home.
I go through this at least once a week. Im tired of this cycle. :((
Click to expand...
If someone threatens suicide, you need to call the police.
 
You are being abused. You need to get away, pray for his soul, and do not go back. Go to a shelter if you are afraid for your life. You are not married to this man, and you don’t want to be. Your daughter should not be exposed to this. You will help him more by leaving than by staying. May God bless you all.

Holy Mother and St. Joseph, please intercede for Help2 as you did for me. Please send angels and ask our Lord to fill her with the courage, hope and anything else she needs. Amen.

Hail Mary, full of grace. The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, mother of God,
Pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.

Amen.

St. Michael the archangel, defend us in battle.
Be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil.
May God rebuke him we humbly pray.
And do thou oh Prince of the heavenly host.
By the power of God, cast into hell Satan and all evil spirits who prowl about the world seeking the ruin of souls.
Amen
 
Help2 said:
Yes. Yes. And yes. Hundreds if times. Every time he feels hurt because i make him feel unloved or unwanted. Every time i put watching the Catholic channel over covering him in kisses. Every time i dont give him full attention. Too many times 😦
Click to expand...
Can you, and your daughter, get together some stuff, money, and get yourselves out to a women’s shelter? You can do a search for one online for domestic violence woman’s shelter in your city.

You can’t keep living like this. Some people who are suicidal kill entire familes and THEN themselves, because they have some mental/emotional problems.

I realize you may not be setup to leave, but can you go to, or at least talk to, a shelter somehow without him seeing you do this? I honestly believe a shelter could give you food, clothing, a roof over your head, a SAFE stable place, help you with your needs. They have a lot of experience with these matters, have been doing this for years.

I once visited a women’s shelter. It had a VERY high fence, was secured like a prison in a secret location! It looked like a nice setup. It had counselors and social workers, helped ladies and kids also get on with their lives.

Further, this will continue to happen, day after day, week after week, and probably will only escalate. It will probably NOT get better on its own. The way it will get better is by your getting it stopped.

You will need counseling, and they should be able to provide that. This is NOT okay, NOT love.

I’ll close with a prayer that you’ll be okay and consider my words. :gopray:

Hail Mary, full of grace. The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, mother of God,
Pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.

Amen.
 
Try to get your documents together…purse…if you can get money, clothing, okay. If you can’t, you just can’t. Go, either way.

If he catches you, he would probably stop you, and you know what that means.

If you can’t do the search, give us the city and state you are in, and one of us can search for a domestic violence shelter in your city. We can do the legwork for you, if necessary.
 
If you are not able to do this all tonight, I want you to do this all when you can. If you don’t feel you can, now, when he’s not around, I’d like you to either get on the computer or go through the phone book and get that phone number of the shelter. Do NOT put “shelter” on it! Put anything else…baker…something where he won’t recognize what the number is or suspect.

If you don’t feel you can now, when you can, call that number and just talk to the shelter. They will take it from there, telling you what you should do and help you.

Abusers have this pattern, typically, just as you have described. They may be abusive, and later regret the abuse…come in with flowers…apologize…This is called the “wine and roses” phase.

Don’t fall for this. Tomorrow, he might even say, “Oh, I’m just so sorry about last night”. You can pretend to go along with this, and probably should, but don’t believe it!

He actually is an abuser and needs help, but there’s only so much you can do to help him until he is willing to admit he has a problem and seek help.

For now, just focus on yourself and daughter, getting out safely. The shelter will help guide you as to how to how to best handle him. They have a lot of experience in these matters.

Good luck and God bless! :angel1:
 
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thine intercession was left unaided.

Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto thee, O Virgin of virgins, my mother; to thee do I come, before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in thy mercy hear and answer me.

Amen.
 
Get out ASAP! He is using your fear to control you. He is not good for you, and even if he would get help and promise what ever he might promise you can never be sure, or can you? For the sake of your daughter, leave him. You may love him, you will miss him and you will keep on thinking that you may have wrong after all, but in a few months you will understand that what you did was most likely the best thing in your life. Love can never be based on fear. God bless you and your daughter.
 
Many of us have already given you advice to leave this abusive situation, but you called us emissaries of Satan.

What do you want us to say?! What makes things different this time?! So far, you are telling us the same story, and so far, we are giving you the same advice. **Will you listen to us this time? ** I can assure you that Satan is not using any of us to try to deceive you, but since you don’t know me or any of us from Adam, you probably don’t believe me or any of these other wise and experienced women.

But just in case you are willing to listen this time: Leave your fiance in God’s hands, and get out as soon as possible, within the next few hours if you can. You are in a dangerous situation.
 
Hi Help2,

I am so sorry for the situation that you are in. I’ve never been in a situation like this before, but I have to agree with the other posters that you and your daughter need to get away. I’m not sure if you had mentioned your daughter’s age (if she’s a child) but I don’t think God would want a child exposed to something like this. If she is closer to being an adult, something to remember is that she looks to you as a role model in how you handle situations. I believe God knows what is in your heart and wants you to take care of you and your daughter. Your finance sounds like he needs to do a lot on his own to fix himself. Maybe when he is able to do that, you can reunite. I hope you and your daughter stay safe. I’ll keep you in my prayers.
 
Fiance and suicide are two words that should never be used in the same sentence. Make him your former fiance - fast. This relationship will never last.
 
You are in an abusive situation with a man who has a very dangerous personality disorder.

I’ve lived an entire marriage with a man with a PD – it changed my life irrevocably – I can’t get back the lost years, the children he never wanted, lack of intimacy or feeling loved and cherished.

Please get out and get counseling for yourself to learn more about why you feel the need to hold on to a relationship that only causes you fear and illness. Think of your child! Does she deserve this kind of life with an abuser!

Get out now!!
 
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