Scaring the unbelievers?

[Faithdancer]

I’ve noticed that when I tell my agnostic/ atheist acquaintances, “I’ll pray for you” it makes them really jumpy. They usually say something like, “Oh, don’t do that. I’m fine” but sometimes there is this kind of physical reaction, like I just shocked them. What’s up with that?

 

[Pfaffenhoffen]

I’ve noticed that when I tell my agnostic/ atheist acquaintances, “I’ll pray for you” it makes them really jumpy. They usually say something like, “Oh, don’t do that. I’m fine” but sometimes there is this kind of physical reaction, like I just shocked them. What’s up with that?

You are insulting them.
They dont need anybody.
So they do not need God.
So you make them feel weak…

 

[AlanFromWichita]

Maybe telling a non-believer you will pray for them would be a bit like if a Wiccan or someone told me that they will cast a spell on me?

 

[meryemb]

Actually it pinches where it hurts the most for them. It goes against their false pride and ignorance.

 

[AlanFromWichita]

Actually it pinches where it hurts the most for them. It goes against their false pride and ignorance.

I guess depending on my mindset, that could either be a pinch to wake me up, or I may experience it as painful punishment.

 

[Petergee]

Wow, I know some pretty full-on atheists, but I’ve never had that reaction before.

In fact occasionally I have had an atheist actually ask me to pray for him.

 

[PerfectTiming]

They think that by praying for them we’re trying to convert them. Which while often I do pray for the conversion of all unbelievers, mostly I pray for my friend’s happiness and for them to have strength in times of difficulty.

 

[Philotheatoo]

I do not have any friends who are Atheist however; I do know some Agnostics. I have had that reaction from Atheists, whom I didn’t know they were Atheist until I did comment that I would either pray for them or suggested they pray about it. The Agnostics just kind of shrug it off or look at me like I am a fool to be a believer.

 

[Borz]

I am a die-hard atheist, and many times people said that they will pray for me. I always take it as an expression of good will and thank them for their kindness.

 

[Hokomai]

Doesn’t bother me!

 

[AlanFromWichita]

I am a die-hard atheist, and many times people said that they will pray for me. I always take it as an expression of good will and thank them for their kindness.

and



Your brother in peace, joy, hope, and love,

Alan

 

[Sherry_G]

We are all responsible for what we say, but not for the way the person hearing interprets what we say. So, don’t worry about their reaction and follow thru with the prayers you promised on their behalf. Once you know that this upsets the person, don’t continue to SAY it but do continue to DO it.

 

[AlanFromWichita]

Once you know that this upsets the person, don’t continue to SAY it but do continue to DO it.

You are not far from the kingdom.

Alan

 

[meltzerboy]

I’ve noticed that when I tell my agnostic/ atheist acquaintances, “I’ll pray for you” it makes them really jumpy. They usually say something like, “Oh, don’t do that. I’m fine” but sometimes there is this kind of physical reaction, like I just shocked them. What’s up with that?

I can understand how some non-believers might feel shocked. Although not an atheist, I once felt somewhat offended when an evangelist sitting next to me on a bus said she would pray for me as I was leaving, after trying to convert me for about ten minutes. Even though her intentions were probably good, I felt she considered me an unsaved person who needed her prayers. Perhaps I was hypersensitive because of the long history of Christian attempts at converting Jews. However, not to offend her, I simply told her thank you. So, yes, I can understand how people, particularly non-believers, might interpret “I’ll pray for you” in a negative light.

 

[ora_pro_nobis]

It depends how you say it, I suppose. If they think you’re praying for their conversion, then they might be offended. If you let them know you’re praying for their well-being then they’re ok with it.

I know many atheists and used to be one myself, and have never witnessed this reaction. In fact some of my friends actually have asked me to pray, one of them asked me to pray for someone else!

I sometimes meet lapsed Catholics who say that it’s no good praying it doesn’t do any good, and I ask them if they mind me praying anyway as it “can’t do any harm”.

 

[Student09]

When I was an agnostic, I used to be offended when Christian family and friends told me they were praying for me, because I thought (correctly) that they were trying to convert me. I took it as them saying: I don’t like you the way you are, therefore I will pray to a God you don’t believe in so that you will be different.

It’s apparent from this thread that unbelievers react in different ways and not everyone is bothered by it, but some are, so my advice is to be tactful. You can always pray for someone without telling them that you are doing so. If there is a specific issue, for instance, they are sick or going through a difficult time, I think it’s fine to tell them you’re praying for them to get better, since they will see it as your way of saying that you care about their health and well-being, rather than as a subtle pressure on them to convert.

 

[Student09]

I think it has more to do with the “otherness” of what you are saying…as if you are speaking to them in a different language/culture.
For example, if a Buddhist said to you “I will meditate about you”…

Lol. Having studied and practiced Buddhism extensively before my conversion, I’m pretty sure no Buddhist would ever say that.

 

[Faithdancer]

Maybe telling a non-believer you will pray for them would be a bit like if a Wiccan or someone told me that they will cast a spell on me?

But that wouldn’t bother me, because I have absolutely no belief in the power of their “religion.”

 

[Faithdancer]

Lol. Having studied and practiced Buddhism extensively before my conversion, I’m pretty sure no Buddhist would ever say that.

I guess I wouldn’t mind being meditated about…kind of flattering, actually, so long as it doesn’t involve stalking!

 

[Faithdancer]

When I was an agnostic, I used to be offended when Christian family and friends told me they were praying for me, because I thought (correctly) that they were trying to convert me. I took it as them saying: I don’t like you the way you are, therefore I will pray to a God you don’t believe in so that you will be different.

It’s apparent from this thread that unbelievers react in different ways and not everyone is bothered by it, but some are, so my advice is to be tactful. You can always pray for someone without telling them that you are doing so. If there is a specific issue, for instance, they are sick or going through a difficult time, I think it’s fine to tell them you’re praying for them to get better, since they will see it as your way of saying that you care about their health and well-being, rather than as a subtle pressure on them to convert.

Well, I always smile when I say it. I certainly don’t realistically expect anyone to convert to Christianity simply because I tell them “I’ll pray for you.” And I wouldn’t say it to a stranger, only to someone I liked, and therefore cared about.

Praying for someone’s conversion could be conceived as pressure…or it could be taken as a real concern for another’s happiness and spiritual well-being. Is it possible that your friends and family saw unhappiness in you, as an agnostic, and it hurt them to see that? I know that I wasn’t as happy and I was spiritually floundering before I returned to the Church.

That being said, and on another note- if we do not witness our faith in word and deed, are we completely fulfilling our apostolate as Christians?