Scattering of ashes

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taye

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This morning, my mother has gone to the funeral home to make plans for herself and my father. (My father is currently terminally ill.) I’m upset to find out that my dad wishes to have his ashes scattered in the woods, as he is quite the nature lover. She said that it would also be possible to have his and her ashes together in a little vial on a necklace:(. I find this quite disturbing and did not mention how I felt and gone into the church’s teachings on this as I didn’t know how to go about it in a kind, non-confrontational way. Getting her upset about this will probably only have a negative impact… How would you deal with this?

On the upside, I spoke to her about having a visit from a priest soon, as he certainly doesn’t need to be on his breath to gain some spiritual advice or confession or whatever. (I don’t really understand what goes on during these “visits”, just that they recommended.) She did agree to this:).
 
I appreciate your dilemma. I would make sure they understood Church teachings on the subject of the respectful treatment of human remains, and then leave it up to them to decide, and honor their wishes with intercessionary prayers.

As an aside, you might want to consider acquiring one of the fashionable “fingerprint” necklaces from the Catholic funeral home, which might assuage their need to leave some sort of memento to loved ones.

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taye said:
This morning, my mother has gone to the funeral home to make plans for herself and my father. (My father is currently terminally ill.) I’m upset to find out that my dad wishes to have his ashes scattered in the woods, as he is quite the nature lover. She said that it would also be possible to have his and her ashes together in a little vial on a necklace.I.
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what she wants is probably illegal where you live. so is keeping ashes in a vial, urn or any other place except buried or reposed in a structure for that purpose. If you see a little stone house in a cemetary often that is used to inter containers of the ashes of the deceased can’t remember the name of the structure.

If she and your father are Catholic they must follow church laws and have a proper funeral and proper interment of the remains. period. suggest she include your priest in her pre-planning.
 
The old Italian gentleman who owns the local charity Catholic book store (in which I volunteer) used to be a priest many years ago. This question of scattering came up a while ago, and he said that the ashes ought to be buried in an urn, never scattered. He didn’t give me a reason, but I presume it is sacrilegious. :o
 
GloriousOrder said:
The old Italian gentleman who owns the local charity Catholic book store (in which I volunteer) used to be a priest many years ago. This question of scattering came up a while ago, and he said that the ashes ought to be buried in an urn, never scattered. He didn’t give me a reason, but I presume it is sacrilegious. :o
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It is. Cremation used to be forbidden by the Church since it was often a person’s final denial of God and the Resurrection of the Dead. No doubt some still make this request regarding their remains for the same reason, but more often nowadays its for an economic reason. The Church still, though, forbids the scattering of ashes since that remains (no pun intended :)) an affront to the integrity of the person.
 
I recently went to a Catholic Funeral. This was actually the first time where the deceased was already cremated. Up until that time, it was my belief that cremation could not happen until after the funeral mass was offered.

Is there a link the Vatican says it changed its policy?

On a personal note, being at the funeral, I found it to be more bearable emotionally having the ashes in the urn instead of the body in the casket. It was heartbreaking when they closed my mom’s casket for the last time.
 
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