School, pride, selfishness, euphoria

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Hello all, pray for me, and give any wisdom you can offer. Help me discern the Will of God.

Lately, I have been suffering from an addiction to good feelings. I get anxious and angry and depressed when I’m not doing anything. I know a lot of people can’t go doing nothing for a long time, but I guess I’m addicted to things that give me pleasure, and when the day is winding down, and there is nothing else to do, I go to impurity.

School is one of these things that give me this euphoria that I desire. Sometimes I have a yearning for schoolwork much like someone addicted to drugs. How can I manage doing something necessary, yet sinful, for I am too attached to it? This has led me to think that I must get out of my Honors classes, and drop to the lowest levels possible. This thought fills me with much unbearable anxiety; this reaction (the unbearable anxiety) only leads me to believe that must get out of the classes because of my disorderly affections.

Even worse, to fill my need for euphoria, I feel like I am turning to minor acts of violence because nothing gives,me,the high I desire anymore.

Its hard for me to be hopeful. Please help me. If you can, say a Divine Mercy Chaplet for me.
 
SandwichOrder said:
Hello all, pray for me, and give any wisdom you can offer. Help me discern the Will of God.

Lately, I have been suffering from an addiction to good feelings. I get anxious and angry and depressed when I’m not doing anything. I know a lot of people can’t go doing nothing for a long time, but I guess I’m addicted to things that give me pleasure, and when the day is winding down, and there is nothing else to do, I go to impurity.

School is one of these things that give me this euphoria that I desire. Sometimes I have a yearning for schoolwork much like someone addicted to drugs. How can I manage doing something necessary, yet sinful, for I am too attached to it? This has led me to think that I must get out of my Honors classes, and drop to the lowest levels possible. This thought fills me with much unbearable anxiety; this reaction (the unbearable anxiety) only leads me to believe that must get out of the classes because of my disorderly affections.

Even worse, to fill my need for euphoria, I feel like I am turning to minor acts of violence because nothing gives,me,the high I desire anymore.

Its hard for me to be hopeful. Please help me. If you can, say a Divine Mercy Chaplet for me.
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Praying for you.
 
SandwichOrder said:
Sometimes I have a yearning for schoolwork much like someone addicted to drugs. How can I manage doing something necessary, yet sinful, for I am too attached to it? This has led me to think that I must get out of my Honors classes, and drop to the lowest levels possible. This thought fills me with much unbearable anxiety; this reaction (the unbearable anxiety) only leads me to believe that must get out of the classes because of my disorderly affections.

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I know you may not want to hear it but most people would love to have a yearning for school work…theres nothing wrong with learning and getting joy and happiness from learning…god gave you the gift of learning you shouldnt deliberately try to get low grades…if you can get good grades then get the good grades…dont fail deliberately at school now and then jepordise what future jobs you will be able to get…you will regret it for sure
 
I know…but I am sinning.

What do I do when I freak out when I think that I need to get out of my classes? What,do I do when I prize school above God or family. Do I “behave” and “follow all the rules” to simply continue taking classes that I want? Then, my purpose is life is to “be good” so I can keep my classes, but then it becomes idolatry.

It all is so confusing.
 
11 And he said, Go forth, and stand upon the mount before the Lord. And, behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind rent the mountains, and brake in pieces the rocks before the Lord; but the Lord was not in the wind: and after the wind an earthquake; but the Lord was not in the earthquake:

12 And after the earthquake a fire; but the Lord was not in the fire: and after the fire a still small voice.

1 Kings: 11-13

God communicates to us when we are quiet and open…strive after inner peace and at least some time when you are not seeking to distract yourself with other things. What are you trying to distract yourself from? Why do you wish to be busy all the time? Why are you uncomfortable with genuine feelings? Happy feelings are transitory and no one keeps them for long…deep inner peace comes from God and only comes after we are united to His will. Seek a relationship with God in stillness and solitude, and that restless, gnawing hunger for new pleasures will dissipate. I will remember you in my chaplet. God bless!
 
SandwichOrder said:
I know…but I am sinning.

What do I do when I freak out when I think that I need to get out of my classes? What,do I do when I prize school above God or family. Do I “behave” and “follow all the rules” to simply continue taking classes that I want? Then, my purpose is life is to “be good” so I can keep my classes, but then it becomes idolatry.

It all is so confusing.
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Its not sinning to attend school and to do well and enloy your lessons…nor is it wrong or bad in anyway…

Have you talked to your parents, priest or school counseller about how you are feeling? Maybe you might feel better if your parents could homeschool you at least for a while?..then if you feel the need to get out of class at least you are at home
 
I wouldn’t enjoy homeschooling. I attend a Catholic school. I just sometimes feel God is calling me to a greater aspiration than school success. I don’t want Him to. I am smart. There isn’t a class I can’t handle. I don’t know why he would be calling,me a place different than what appears to be my greatest strength. Perhaps, though, what “appears” to be my greatest strength is not what it,seems to be.
 
Saint Michael, the archangel, defend us in battle, be our defense against the wickedness and snares of the devil, may God rebuke him, we humbly pray. And do you, O’ Prince of the Heavenly host, by the power of God thrust into Hell Satan and all the other evil spirits who prowl about the world for the ruin of souls.

Amen.

†

Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.

Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.

And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.

And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

Amen.

†

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.

Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb Jesus.

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.

Amen.

†
 
Just trust in God’s way. He knows how to use your strongest assets and it will be awsome for you if you keep trusting in his way. I went to school to get my construction degree and after school I planned on getting a good paying job in the construction industry but instead I trusted in him and took a nonpaid internship with Habitat for Humanity. They are a Christian ministry that builds houses for low income families. The money will come but you have to be patient and not think about it, just keep going with God’s way. I’ve been with Habitat for two years now and am so thankful for it. I get to still do what I love, construction and I get to serve Christ at the same time.

Ted
 
Thank you for all your responses. God bless you! I just said a Divine Mercy Chaplet, and I feel much more prepared to follow God’s Way.
 
school-George Bernard shaw - made the quote: “the road to perdition is paved with good intentions.” Well, feel free to disagree/under the logic…well all fail …would there eve be any good in me, in the world?..the poem tells me.so there is need for courage
let me say with a grain of salt-i don’t think that contemplative prayer will work for you now;
on issue of pride- the opposite of that is , of course, humility/ contemplative prayer is like those turn of the 20th century bathers on the beach-a person of yester year-might could have been observed walking slowly into the ocean, a few steps, then to cup the sea water and sprinkle it, a few more steps knee deep-and very slowly, never to be seen to dunk, at first; but a almost cautious emerson-Contemplative prayer is slow-and if i were to get a euphoria from it-i would want to stay there (but sinful man, i am i cannot stay there in that state) ;so, i relate to your post, that it is in my personality to plan for things that give euphoria(s)-not just one, as i am hot wired in my psychic to (almost desire to have bombs falling near me-then i am happy), or less the exageration, at least, ride a very fast horse; or if i could sky dive-i would…so this complicates my life-(and prayer life);some days i cannot sit still/as i get older -this has changed -a little/
contemplative prayer is being in the presence of God-there are other types of prayer…if you , and your soul, try contemplative prayer- today-and seem to ‘fail.’(that is OK)/

that word ‘fail’ could be a reasoning-as in a fallacy-as i might tell myself, “good intentions fail.” but Hey! really? i must have plenty of company on the road to perdition; if that is true/ so goes a discernment of God’s will , True/ yet, i might find the will of God in every day miracles-life is a miracle/ or sun set’s morning rise/ to be happy in God’s creation/ so you see? (trust is a level of a simple prayer for those with high energy) we don’t have to sky dive into an Amazon jungle to convert the native people…(although-i thought about it) Well back to that logic of the ‘road to perdition’-that poem’s logic? well that could be challenged as to perfect truth( i disagree with it),and on a level of truth, which must argued to follow a path, be truth through the ages, proven every time, in every era,in every history book, in every part of the world…otherwise, i tell my self (in selfish ways)-“I will pave good intentions through the sky, in a piper cub, sky dive through clouds, land through thick canopies; preach the gospel to people to hear the word…” I tell myself, i did it-i am euphoric-I’ll do it again (But is it the will of God?)
Perhaps the best road map to make is ‘my way’-it is a good way after all-while , God’s way is secretly the same path…Just maybe…at least, i might wonder-but do it with fearless courage-as the reading audience does not know, nor have you told them-your innate fearlessness…so much that even other catholics would be so surprised to the degree of your gift of courage, and wish they had it also…

…my high energy…does triumph…over my selfishness,-my euphoria is courage…take the road now of classes…and trust in God…
 
Praying that the Lord may grant you guidance and strengthen you with all necessary graces.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou amongst women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death. Amen
 
Hail Mary, Full of Grace,
The Lord is with thee,
Blessed art thou amongst women
and Blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.

Holy Mary, Mother of God,
Pray for us sinners, now
and at the hour of our death.
Amen.
 
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