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Faith1960
Guest
Perhaps if one was allowed to actually hear the homily, something the priest says would strike a chord with the person and change their heart.
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ConstantineTG
Guest
Maybe its the noisy child that will teach one patience and humility. God works through others, even through children.
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Faith1960
Guest
I doubt it.
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Matrix_Refugee
Guest
Or Herry, or Telly, or especially Cookie Monster!
On topic: I’m a bit on the fence with this issue myself, but I have some pretty good reasons that I’m generally in favor of taking a screaming baby out of the church/into a cry room. I have Asperger Syndrome, a form of autism, and part of the neurological glitches that go with it includes super-sensitive hearing. I’m like a vampire or a superhero with super-powered hearing: I literally hear everything, and I’m especially sensitive to loud, high-pitched noises, like babies screaming. Some days, I can deal with it in silence, other days, it’s literally painful in a physical and emotional way. And on really bad days, I come close to having one of my meltdowns (ie. crying hysterically and curling up on the floor in a fetal position or simply quivering and rocking with a catatonic look on my face). I will confess, I’ve given some parents funny looks when their child was being especially loud, and I’ve been known to “sshhh!” them as well. I don’t do this out of a lack of charity, though, but more as a defense. I’m not proud of it, believe me, but I think some compromise needs to be reached so that we all can take part in the Mass without too many inconveniences.
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Sarabande
Guest
Your condition was actually one of the things that made me more compassionate and understanding. I have since come to know (or at least have met) families with children who had aspergers or autism. My mother-in-law also used to work primarily with these children in a school and I got to know more about them and their families from her. It never occurred to me previously that sometimes these continuously loud, screaming children at mass (especially when the mic was too loud on the priest or music was too loud) were actually autistic and that parents were truly doing their best. I, previously childless and single, thought I knew it all with how parents should discipline their children and how children should behave. I still believe in many of my previous life’s opinions on childrearing now that I am married and have children. But I am much more inclined to give the parent the benefit of the doubt when there is an older child with seemingly poor behavioral skills.
I also know that sometimes a child, especially toddlers, who is usually very good will have their bad days and sometimes as a new parent it’s hard to decipher at first what constitutes taking them out and staying in the pews. So, again, I give the benefit of the doubt. Then, I know for many parishes I’ve worked in, there are no cry rooms (actually most parishes I’ve freelanced in… it’s a lot, like 8 states worth of Catholic churches- most of my weekends are pretty much taken up with nuptial masses and other special masses, including regular Sunday masses sometimes traveling from one parish to another… don’t have cry rooms), nor any real places for parents to go to in order to console or quiet a loud child. So, again, it just gave me a different perspective and a little more understanding.
I’m not saying that parents should just keep a continuously screaming baby or child at mass, but I do believe in always giving people the benefit of the doubt and maybe even trying to help them out. I know in the past I’ve gotten little kids behind me or front of me to quiet down just by waving hello to them and giving them a big smile. Their frustrated, tired-out parents were very thankful for the help. I know I would be. Actually, just in the supermarket yesterday, two older people helped calm my toddler down who just wasn’t having a good day. It worked so well. I was so exhausted (par for the course when you’re pregnant), I just had no more energy and they were a life-saver for me.
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Defender1
Guest
You think you can strictly raise an infant to not make noise during Mass? :ehh: So if you spank your 6 month old hard enough, they won’t cry when they are hungry, tired, too warm, too cold, etc. Or are you just saying children under 4 aren’t welcome in “your” church.
So what happens when ones child was behaving themselves but then had a break down in the middle of Mass?
In other words you cannot bring children until they can be perfectly quiet, meaning after 4. So good catholic parents who are open to life cannot attend church until their youngest child is 4 making them exiles from church for 10+ years. Not to mention, that is a classic recipe for the 4 year olds misbehaving in church because they have never been and don’t understand the solemnity.
Churches only have cry rooms if you attend a church built (or remodeled) after the 1970s and even then not all (I grew up in a church built in 1981 and it did not have a cry room. But many churches were built before that time.In fact I attended a Cathedral built around the turn of the century and all we had was a vestibule. I once found myself sitting on the choir loft steps in a very cold and drafty vestibule with a 4 week old baby, because he was fussy and needed to eat.
You obviously have never had children and have not been around children. Because your views are extreme in the worst sense. I think you need to spend some time looking in and see where you found such intolerant views towards children, and make sure you haven’t fallen into the secular view that children are burdens and annoyances only to be had if you decide you can put up with one.
As it has been pointed out, your understanding of what happens at mass is deficient. Not to mention Mass gets interrupted all the time (normally by adults), a babies cry does not interrupt mass anymore than an adult sneezing or coughing does. Please tell me you have never sneezed or coughed at mass. Or made any sort of involuntary noise at mass, like dropped a kneeler, snapped a hat clip loudly, dropped a hymnal, etc.
- it is very possible to raise children in a strict and well done enough way that they won’t yell in mass and if you cannot then Hello Quiet room . .
2.under 4 who cannot refrain from disrupting mass need to go in quiet room is what I am telling you . Have a problem with that?
3.after breakdown or during immediately remove them
4.Put words in my mouth again please . GOOD CATHOLIC PARENTS open to life will put children in quiet room .
5.Actually St. Marys in Greenville has a quiet room and it was built in 1952 . I believe I stated that many churches built after the 1950s have quiet rooms and yours probably does as someone to show you around .
6.FOr the last two paragraphs : please refrain from getting fresh with me mam .If the truth hurts do not respond and if you cannot take the heat get out of the kitchen . You do not know who I am so do not make assumptions about me.I however will come to the conclusion that your one of the prideful parents who lets your child cry and disrupt mass because you are too prideful to go to the quiet room and still attend mass aren’t you?
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Defender1
Guest
Quote 1:
and quote 2:
Kids will always make noise, it’s just part of who they are. If the Mass is too important to have children making noise, then by extension it is too important for children to be there.
Also, it may not be rocket science, but people have different children and noise tolerances. What might not disturb me in the slightest might cause you to cringe, and vice versa.
So, which is more distracting to you…having my baby gooing, or having me troop out of the church with three of my kids (too young to sit by themselves)? I can’t manage the door properly by myself, and it’s too heavy for any of the kids, so usually the door ends up banging on my way out as well, despite my best efforts.
- I don’t care how strictly you raise your children, a 6 month old can’t control her noise.
- My kids mostly behave themselves, but they are kids. My baby has recently discovered how to say “goo” and thinks she is hilarious. She is not being bad, but she is making noise.
- I have no idea when the church was built, but it’s a beautiful cathedral type, so I imagine not any time recently. I am absolutely sure that there is no cry room.
That’s really nice that your church has a cry room, but, again, not all of them do. The solution to walk the kids around works well, and I do stand up the back quite often, but makes me wonder if next people are going to be complaining that mothers are walking up and down the back of the church with their babies. Sometimes my 2 year old follows me, must drive people nuts to have all of that ruckus going on.
- A 6 month old needs to be in quiet room and not spanked of course .
2/3. IF there is no quiet room may i suggest you sit in the back and if she gets disruptive kindly exit . - If your bothering folks at church they will give you a look letting you know if they do not just come right up to you .
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pismopal
Guest
He he…you squirm a lot yourself…it is hard to keep you on the subject. So I will say goodbye and just be happy that you attend mass…God blessQuote 1:
and quote 2:
Kids will always make noise, it’s just part of who they are. If the Mass is too important to have children making noise, then by extension it is too important for children to be there.
Also, it may not be rocket science, but people have different children and noise tolerances. What might not disturb me in the slightest might cause you to cringe, and vice versa.
So, which is more distracting to you…having my baby gooing, or having me troop out of the church with three of my kids (too young to sit by themselves)? I can’t manage the door properly by myself, and it’s too heavy for any of the kids, so usually the door ends up banging on my way out as well, despite my best efforts.
- I don’t care how strictly you raise your children, a 6 month old can’t control her noise.
- My kids mostly behave themselves, but they are kids. My baby has recently discovered how to say “goo” and thinks she is hilarious. She is not being bad, but she is making noise.
- I have no idea when the church was built, but it’s a beautiful cathedral type, so I imagine not any time recently. I am absolutely sure that there is no cry room.
That’s really nice that your church has a cry room, but, again, not all of them do. The solution to walk the kids around works well, and I do stand up the back quite often, but makes me wonder if next people are going to be complaining that mothers are walking up and down the back of the church with their babies. Sometimes my 2 year old follows me, must drive people nuts to have all of that ruckus going on.
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zab
Guest
And if you are bothering folks in this room with your rude tone, we’ll let you know about it, too.
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ConstantineTG
Guest
Do you have children? Your answer says that you don’t.
Before I had my own child, a screaming and crying child would drive me out of my mind. It doesn’t anymore. Because if it still does, I would have died by brain explosion before my child turned one.
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PatriceA
Guest
Took the words right out of my mouth.And if you are bothering folks in this room with your rude tone, we’ll let you know about it, too.
For the poster that mentioned autism, that’s another reason why I’ve become more tolerant of babies, toddlers and even adults that can fuss and may cause disruptions. You may never know what a family is dealing with unless you know them personally and I for one would rather take the Christian route and give those people the benefit of the doubt that they may just well be doing the absolute best they can in dealing with the situation at hand. Better to keep an eye on my own behavior at mass than to worry about taking care of what other parents could or could not be doing in dealing with their own children. Its not my job to police the other parishoners.
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ardis3958
Guest
Cuts both ways. Just as it is better for you to keep an eye on your own behavior at mass than to worry about taking care of what other parents could or could not be doing in dealing with their own children, so also it is right for other parents to keep an eye on their own children at mass rather than act entitled to toleration. After all, if it’s right to treat other people the way you would like to be treated, then it is fair to expect the same from others.
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vera_dicere
Guest
Children really have become the enemy, haven’t they?
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ardis3958
Guest
No. Children typically can’t control themselves and can’t reasonably be expected to. Parents are a different story.
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saribee
Guest
On a baptism Sunday, I would expect a lot of wailing during the whole mass. Recently, I was in one of those masses and there was loud noise from small children the whole mass. I did not hear the homily. People cast dirty looks at the parents of the children (they were not the children being baptized that day. Those babies were perfectly silent until their heads got wet).
After the benediction, the priest had one last comment…about the baby noise. He said crying is a sign of life, and as Catholics we are pro-life, so hearing the cry of a baby is a wonderful thing. It was kind of corny. He called attention to the issue but didn’t didn’t give any advice to go to the quiet room or anything. (we don’t have a quiet room.) It seemed to me like he was saying that making a statement about being pro-life with the crying babies is more important than anything else…
What really gets to me is when children who are of the age that can be disciplined act up and the parents do nothing about it…
After the benediction, the priest had one last comment…about the baby noise. He said crying is a sign of life, and as Catholics we are pro-life, so hearing the cry of a baby is a wonderful thing. It was kind of corny. He called attention to the issue but didn’t didn’t give any advice to go to the quiet room or anything. (we don’t have a quiet room.) It seemed to me like he was saying that making a statement about being pro-life with the crying babies is more important than anything else…
What really gets to me is when children who are of the age that can be disciplined act up and the parents do nothing about it…
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Cairisti
Guest
I have to smile and laugh inwardly when a family with young children sit by me as I tend to cringe when they do, knowing that one will be restless. ( It never fails that this happens, especially when I’m hoping for a “fussy/cry-free Mass”. ) I take it as God’s way of teaching me to be patient with them. As a convert, I do the ole “offering it up”. I do appreciate the parent who takes their child outside when they are disturbing others.
One of our priests’ loves fussy babies/children at Mass. One of the other one’s, tolerates it and has stated in the bulletin about “there IS a cry room!”. Personally, if I were the parent, I’d hate to distrupt the Mass and would take my child out.
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Faith1960
Guest
Wrong again.
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Faith1960
Guest
It’s really all about the feeling of entitlement.
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Faith1960
Guest
LOL. Nope. It’s not the children’s fault if their parents are rude.
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ConstantineTG
Guest
Speaking in behalf of many parents, we don’t go to church just so we can spend it outdoors. We come to worship God with our families in the hopes that our children will pick up the habit of going to church and grow up to become good Christians.
You know what, back in the day, taking care of the young used to be a community thing. Ever wonder how Joseph and Mary lost an only child for 3 days?
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