Scruples - a parent’s question

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Anicette said:
I found the suggestion of the therapist to switch denomination very shocking… and unrespectful.
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It’s ironic too, as the guilt-despair-penance-fear cycle was a major part of what led Luther into swinging to the opposite extreme of presumption, then building a doctrine which would protect it…
 
That’s the one. I have taken a glance at his book (now in its 3rd edition, from a respectable publishing house), and it looks mostly good… But I would suggest using that resource in conjunction with a spiritual director or at least regular confessor to whom your daughter can manifest her distinctively spiritual problems to and receive direct practical guidance. Most any priest will do… But if you can find someone older, who is particularly keen and prudent, that is ideal (as these are normal traits to look for in a director - typically not newly ordained men, for instance, who are not used to holding the “handle-bars” of souls and moving them around).

I have a license in moral theology, for what it’s worth… and have taken a particular interest in this world. I should probably buy that book myself - or write my own!

God bless you,
-K
 
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I think it’s written more for an adult POV.

My son is much older .
 
Okay, thank you! I’ll read it and sort of summarize the important points for my daughter.
 
Ahh. Then perhaps the “inverse” of the “Shema” must be “drilled into your child” - “The Lord thy God loves you, with all His heart, all His mind, and all His strength…”

Take the other written resources for your own assistance in helping your daughter… process them for her.
 
JimG said:
It was Fr. Tom Santa for quite some time but he may be retired now.
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He’s not retired, but in a different role for the Redemptorists. He is at St. Alphonsus Parish in Grand Rapids MI. I’m behind on my reading, but just seeing that Catholic Answers Magazine September/October has an article by Fr. David Meconi (Wrestling with Scrupulosity). Letters to the editor in the November/December issue didn’t take kindly to his article.
 
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As someone who was in the same boat as your daughter. The things that helped me most were: direction and guidance from a priest who understands these things well, prayer, trust in God’s mercy, and distrust in my own thinking and feelings (like anxious thoughts and anxiety) related to that stuff. Medication may have also been huge as well. I can safely say that I (thanks to God and other people that helped me) have conquered my OCD & Scruples. I virtually do not have any of it anymore. I am forever grateful to my parents for their love, support, and understanding, as I have no doubt she will be. It is the parents problem too and I know the toll it can have. From what I have seen, although there’s nothing stronger here than the classic Catholic coping and comfort (via prayer, Sacraments, hope, trust/faith in God, etc.), from seeing how parents cope, I believe talking to other parents with kids with OCD and/or Scruples helps too! When it comes to therapists, although they may mean well, they are not exempt from their requirement of being founded in the Truth to appropriately guide others. This too I have seen from experience. This is yet another example of why you can’t take Church out of State (nor institutions of teaching). Ideally, with that other stuff, finding a Catholic therapist with sufficient knowledge and understanding of Scruples & OCD is the best case scenario. I’d say to try and get the closest thing to that scenario if you can’t get those specific ideal conditions. Prayers for you and your family! Take courage! Know that “this too is temporary”, God uses these things in the best of ways, and He will always take care of His sheep. God bless and remember that, other than maybe Easter (especially this year), there’s no time to be more joyful than during the Christmas season! 😃
 
Well, the editor responded that Fr. Meconi could have made his point more gently. The letters criticized that the author did not mention that scrup is regarded as a subtype of OCD. The author also states that the scrup person is fixated on himself. If you would like to PM me with your address, I’d be happy to mail you the article and the letters. I really don’t want to misrepresent the article.
 
If your daughter has OCD, her ‘scruples’ are manifestations of it. She does not have both scruples AND OCD. The advice from her therapist to switch religions seems to me on the face of it to not be advice that would come from a trained psychologist. If your daughter became a Jew she would worry about something else, like not keeping kosher. If she became an atheist she might sorry about hurting other people. The OCD is a result of biochemical processes in the body, especially the brain. The obsessions and/or compulsions do not result from the religious or other environment in which people find themselves.Talking therapy can help and this is probably why some people report good results from religious discussion. But the true nature of the condition is shown by the high rate of success through drug treatment. Some of the drugs need to be prescribed with great care in the case of young people.
 
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