Scruples, feeling guilty

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I’ve been struggling with scruples. Right now I’ve gotten it into my head that God dispises me and has even when I was young. Although I was baptised as a child I only became “religious” around the age of 7. I remember when I was 3 or 4 asking myself about why Jesus is so special. It makes me feel guilty to think that I wasn’t a good hearted child.😦
Does anyone know how I should approach this?

Thank you
 
First of all God loves you! Second, there are plenty of resources out there for the scrupulous.

Here is one :

mission.liguori.org/newsletters/scrupulosity.htm

Also, God is love! Without which we are misery and sin. If we love back it is through his grace. It’s part of being humble to accept that we are not as perfect as we wish we were.

Well. I hope that helps somewhat. Feel free to ask more questions if not.
 
Flame4 said:
I’ve been struggling with scruples. Right now I’ve gotten it into my head that God dispises me and has even when I was young. Although I was baptised as a child I only became “religious” around the age of 7. I remember when I was 3 or 4 asking myself about why Jesus is so special. It makes me feel guilty to think that I wasn’t a good hearted child.😦
Does anyone know how I should approach this?

Thank you
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Children of 3 or 4 cannot sin. They don’t have the requisite intent.

The Church speaks of “age of reason” – when that child knows “this is a sin and I’m going to do it anyway.” Or “I know this is wrong and I’m going to do it anyway.”

You did not sin. Children at 3 or 4 have a different conception of reality until at least 4. The age of reason is not specific, but it’s not as low as 4. They can be a handful, and willful and defiant – but that’s growing up and learning their own identity separate from the parents, that’s not sinning.

Further at 3 or 4, I doubt you had a real concept of Jesus in order to sin by asking how He was special.

I’m sure a priest can reassure you. The thing about scrupulosity is that we are too hard on ourselves.
 
Whenever I feel a nasty case of Scruples coming on, I bust out my copy of “Light and Peace: Instructions for Devout Souls to Dispel Their Doubts” by Rev. Fr. R. P. Quadrupani. This book literally changed my life, and gave me so much peace from scruples that I had never found before reading this book. The chapter on Scruples is fantastic, but there’s also so much more in the book that deals with scruples dealing with prayer, with devotion, with . If you have a nook or other eReader, you can get the book from free in PDF form from Google Books. Tan Publishing sells paperback versions for a very reasonable price as well. I was able to download it through the nook bookstore for free.

Here’s an excerpt from the “Scruples” chapter:
  1. There is but one remedy for scruples and that is entire and courageous obedience. “It is a secret pride,” says Saint Francis de Sales, “that entertains and nourishes scruples, for the scrupulous person adheres to his opinion and inquietude in spite of his director’s advice to the contrary. He always persuades himself in justification of his disobedience that some new and unforeseen circumstance has occurred to which this advice cannot be applicable. But submit,” says the Saint, "without other reasoning than this: I should obey, and you will be delivered from this lamentable malady.
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If you don’t have a formal spiritual director, your confessor should be able to give the advice you need to stop looking at God as vengeful and see him for His mercy and His infinite love for you.

Also, another thing that could help this scrupulous nature of yours is to develop a devotion to the Sacred Heart of Jesus. Listen to this sermon to be reminded how much Christ loves you, right now, just as you are:

The Incomprehensible Love of the Sacred Heart
 
Thank you for the advice everyone. Its a great help.

ChibiViolet: I am seeing a therpaist because I have OCD. I think you’re right that I should also speak to a priest.

Leegal: Thanks for that. You’re right…and I know that at the back of my head I suppose. Its just the feelings of guilt seem so real. I guess I have stop equating my feelings with reality. And I guess that my questions were normal…if I hadn’t asked those questions then maybe I would never have wanted to find out what was special about Jesus at all! :o

Thank you for the resources everyone. 🙂 God Bless.
 
Everyone else has had good advice, so just wanted to let you know that I am praying for you.

God bless,
Bryan
 
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