scrupulosity and confession

[JimboJones]

I’m very confused about something when it comes to scruples and confession.

1. I’ve heard conflicting recommendations regarding past sins and if they need to be confessed. Sometimes I hear that if a sin is honestly forgotten at the time of confession and it could be mortal then it doesn’t need to be confessed if remembered in the future and other times, some people say that it would need to be confessed if it’s remembered.

Does the advise change between non-scrupulous compared to scrupulous people?

1. I understand the criteria for the definition of a mortal sin, but is it possible to commit a mortal sin and not know it?

Thanks

 

[StCsDavid]

Not possible to commit mortal sin and not know it. Remember mortal sin requires full knowledge and consent.

While all sins are forgiven in the confessional, including the ones genuinely forgotten, it certainly doesn’t hurt to confess forgotten sins. The sacrament is not a formula but rather an opportunity for change. The priest/Christ can help guide you in not committing the mortal sin you forgot to confess the first go around.

 

[JimboJones]

Thanks.

Sometimes when I think back in the past, there’s one or two sins that I completely forgot about that I think were serious (uncertain if they’re mortal, but serious no less). So the official stance is that it’s kind of optional to confess past sins? I have no problem doing it if it would be the best thing to do, however, I’m not sure how to really explain what I believe was sinful to the priest.

 

[teachccd]

Thanks.

Sometimes when I think back in the past, there’s one or two sins that I completely forgot about that I think were serious (uncertain if they’re mortal, but serious no less). So the official stance is that it’s kind of optional to confess past sins? I have no problem doing it if it would be the best thing to do, however, I’m not sure how to really explain what I believe was sinful to the priest.

If you remember a past sin and think that it may have been a mortal sin (grave matter, knowledge and full consent) then it should be confessed if it was forgotten at a previous confession. It’s really no big deal and it is not scupulous to mention a sin that you feel could have greatly offended God. It’s when we confess sins and can’t feel forgiven or wonder whether or not we confessed them properly that scupulosity rears its ugly head.

You mention that there are one or two sins in question. Just confess them and rejoice in the mercy of our Lord. It sure beats wondering if the Catholic forum posters got it right for you… teachccd

 

[JimboJones]

This is what I mean though. I always seem to stumble across multiple answers instead of one definative “This is what to do…” answer.

{Correct me if I’m wrong, but this almost sounds like it’s ok to confess previous forgotten mortal sins to ease the conscience even if they were already forgiven.}

While all sins are forgiven in the confessional, including the ones genuinely forgotten, it certainly doesn’t hurt to confess forgotten sins.

compared to

If you remember a past sin and think that it may have been a mortal sin (grave matter, knowledge and full consent) then it should be confessed if it was forgotten at a previous confession.

The problem is that I’m tired of looking in the rear view mirror across my life and always finding something else that causes more uncertainty.

I’m not sure at all if it was mortal when I committed this sin but when I look back at it, I know that I remember that it is serious. It seems like I can never find any peace.

 

[Scottgun]

Ten Commandments for the scrupulous: mission.liguori.org/newsletters/scrupulosity.htm

.

 

[StCsDavid]

Jimbo,

What is your motive for confessing the past, forgotten sins? Is it because you believe you haven’t been forgiven by Christ…or is it that you haven’t forgiven yourself? As to the former, gaze upon the crucifix and see the price that has already been paid for your sins. Jesus loves you; he sacrificed himself for you; and he has forgiven you. Now he asks that you love your neighbor as you love yourself; however, if you allow these past sins to dog you, in a sense it can become a form of false piety. Do you really believe Christ desires you to live in this state of anxiety? Do you think he loves you more because you punish yourself this way? That’s not his style. Christ didn’t come to condemn but rather to save. He’s done that for you in the confessional and the other sacraments. Embrace the grace, my brother in Christ!

What to do? Lay your burden at the foot of the cross and move forward rejoicing in the love of a God who cares so much for you. This love is real. Open your heart to receive it and let your mind just rest from all of these things that have troubled you so.

 

[teachccd]

This is what I mean though. I always seem to stumble across multiple answers instead of one definative “This is what to do…” answer.

{Correct me if I’m wrong, but this almost sounds like it’s ok to confess previous forgotten mortal sins to ease the conscience even if they were already forgiven.}

compared to

The problem is that I’m tired of looking in the rear view mirror across my life and always finding something else that causes more uncertainty.

I’m not sure at all if it was mortal when I committed this sin but when I look back at it, I know that I remember that it is serious. It seems like I can never find any peace.

Remember that you are looking back with the understanding of today regarding mortal sin. You could not have possibly committed multiple categories of sin. For example I’m sure that you did not steal, murder, commit adultery, etc…

Find the category of these past unconfessed sins and mention it at your next confession and forget about them. Quit digging up each occurrence as if they are unforgiven baggage. Chances are really good that all of your sins were mentioned since most people seem to struggle in only certain areas and not others.

So if, for example, you had a sexual encounter before you were married or you stole something from a store or you had been away from the Church for some time then confess it and forget it. But if in each of the categories above you have already mentioned it then quit trying to dig up individual items that were forgotten in the confessional. For example, I had an extra sexual encounter that I had forgotten, I stole something from K-Mart and I only mentioned Wal-Mart or I remember missing Mass one Christmas fifteen years ago.

So in closing, unless you missed a sin that you know is mortal from the past and you are absolutely sure that you did NOT confess it then I would mention it. I was exactly like you and it took me a while and many confessions to finally overcome this idea that God is so critical of me that he would try to find that one sin that I missed to condemn me. And nothing could be further from the truth. In His infinite mercy, God would do anything to find you not guilty of mortal sin. It is us, in our complacency and unrepentence that keep us separated from God. God loves you with an infinite love and He is definitely not trying to find that one sin that we forgot to mention. Instead He is seeing the contrition and the love for Him that you have. Keep up the good work and pray for me…teachccd

 

[JimboJones]

I got back to confession a little while ago and I’m pretty sure my scruples have just suffered a defeat.

Here’s what happened.

I was ruminating on my worries about if the sin that I forgot about was a mortal sin or not for a while, including part of Mass (in which I was convinced that I shouldn’t receive Communion just in case). I was kind of stuck in an endless loop.

Then, I remembered what the Commandment #2 said in the 10 Commandments for the Scrupulous.

“You shall not confess doubtful sins in confession, but only sins that are clear and certain.”

Then, I began to wonder…Maybe these questions themselves point to a doubt that I didn’t quite notice right away. These endless, “What if” thoughts that run through my head.

The way that I see it, I went to confession recently and mentioned every single thing that was on my mind, including the “what if” doubts at the time. Since the Priest said that my sins were forgiven, that was it.

I understand that it’s recommended to mention previous Mortal Sins if and only if they weren’t confessed before (in this case, if they were forgotten) and also, like what you guys said. Only if there isn’t doubt.

I began to realize that if I had decided to confess a past sin that I forgot, though it would have been forgiven, it would have been because of doubt.

Then, I made that final decision to get Communion like usual and I feel much better about it.

I’d like to think that it’s some sort of turning point. That maybe, I’m starting to understand what it means to be truly forgiven my Christ (especially for sins that involve a level of uncertainty and doubt) because I know that He understands me better than I do.

I’m starting to realize that it isn’t about doing everything perfectly, but knowing that I certainly might have made mistakes and done some sins in the past, but for there to be some level of uncertainty about it, that should raise a red flag for a scruple alert.

For the first time in a while, I’m feeling a little bit of peace.

 

[Kay_Cee]

Jimbo:

If I were you, I’d go to confession and lay all of this at Christ’s feet.

Tell the priest about your uncertainties and doubts. Explain that the reason you are there is because you are repentant, and you desire with all your heart to be in a right relationship with Christ.

The priest will guide you through whatever you need to do.

If you’re worried you might find yourself in the same situation again later, ask the priest what you should do in that case.

If you do this, you will know you have done what you could to get into a right relationship with God.

 

[dixieagle]

I got back to confession a little while ago and I’m pretty sure my scruples have just suffered a defeat.

Here’s what happened.

I was ruminating on my worries about if the sin that I forgot about was a mortal sin or not for a while, including part of Mass (in which I was convinced that I shouldn’t receive Communion just in case). I was kind of stuck in an endless loop.

Then, I remembered what the Commandment #2 said in the 10 Commandments for the Scrupulous.

“You shall not confess doubtful sins in confession, but only sins that are clear and certain.”

Then, I began to wonder…Maybe these questions themselves point to a doubt that I didn’t quite notice right away. These endless, “What if” thoughts that run through my head.

The way that I see it, I went to confession recently and mentioned every single thing that was on my mind, including the “what if” doubts at the time. Since the Priest said that my sins were forgiven, that was it.

I understand that it’s recommended to mention previous Mortal Sins if and only if they weren’t confessed before (in this case, if they were forgotten) and also, like what you guys said. Only if there isn’t doubt.

I began to realize that if I had decided to confess a past sin that I forgot, though it would have been forgiven, it would have been because of doubt.

Then, I made that final decision to get Communion like usual and I feel much better about it.

I’d like to think that it’s some sort of turning point. That maybe, I’m starting to understand what it means to be truly forgiven my Christ (especially for sins that involve a level of uncertainty and doubt) because I know that He understands me better than I do.

I’m starting to realize that it isn’t about doing everything perfectly, but knowing that I certainly might have made mistakes and done some sins in the past, but for there to be some level of uncertainty about it, that should raise a red flag for a scruple alert.

For the first time in a while, I’m feeling a little bit of peace.

Jimbo,

You’re right - it does sound like a turning point! Scrupulosity can be a terrible thing, always tormenting. However, you seem to have had a “breakthrough.” I’ll say a prayer that the peace you have experienced continues.

Blessings!

 

[baltobetsy]

Jimbo, it’s great that you have made some progress. One thing that’s very important for scrupulous people is to have one regular priest for confession and go to him only, letting him know that you are scrupulous and giving him your obedience. Then, when you have questions like this one, you can get the definitive answer for you from a priest who knows you and your struggles. You will have the peace that only obedience can give, and you will not have to wade through conflicting advice from different posts here on the board.

God bless you.

Betsy

 

[anonon]

Confess your sins anonymously, online at iconfessmyself.blogspot.com

 

[cat123]

anonon
i think you should stop posting that people confess their sins anonymously online. that’s not the sacrament of confession. stop it. you’ve done this on several threads.

 

[Sir_Knight]

He’s doing this all over the board!